150 feet of beautiful rope from Maui Kink arrived in the mail today. Need to test it out. Any volunteers? :)

Hello, fellow perverts.

I haven't posted in a long-ass time because A) An 80-hour work week is no joke, and B) I found the woman I was shaking the world to pieces to find. She is.. she is more than I was capable of dreaming of.

I still hang around here, though - perving people that deserve a second look. What can I say? I'm a voyeur (and my wonderful girlfriend also gets excited about women sometimes).

I have to say, though, that CM is a goddamn cesspool. There are just.. too many depressing individuals here. I'm not talking about the down-to-earth people who have seen better days and are looking for growth, release, or connection - the kinky meek shall inherit the kinky earth. I'm talking about you motherfuckers who refuse to read the profile of the person you're messaging. I'm talking about you whores (not to be confused with professional sex workers or dominatrices) who use fetish as a flimsy excuse to take peoples' money. I'm talking about the sad fuckers who claim "Dominance (roar!!)" as a reason to be a disgraceful asshole.

But for all the shit you have to wade knee-deep through, there are a few pearls. There are those of you who demonstrate obvious love for the art of kink. Love for your deviant brothers and sisters.

To those of you who take the world we were given, and make it into something beautiful and twisted for us all.. well done. I'll happily call you a friend.

The basis of ANY relationship, vanilla or otherwise, must be respect, trust, and affection. Perhaps what makes a relationship kinky, then, is what we do to pervert these needs, but everything must still come from them.

Punishment is given to allow the submissive the opportunity to rebuild trust (both my trust in her and her trust in herself) through a demonstration of submission and devotion.

Isolation or deprivation is given to remind the sub how important, how meaningful the gift of contact and affection is. A reminder of what's at stake is trust is completely lost.

Any kind of play, including acts which resemble punishment, is given to stimulate the submissive, mentally and physically. It is done to reward, to bring emotional and physical fulfillment, to allow the sub to further explore her innermost self.

Acts of service (domestic, sexual, etc.) to the Dominant are done to instill pride and devotion in the submissive. And I hope everyone will pardon the cliche.. service builds character.

Sometimes, even the submissive's ability to make decisions for herself must be taken away. Even this, however, should only be done if the Dominant intends on strengthening the submissive, then returning her decision-making ability. Exceptions to this must be extreme, rare, and very difficult to justify.

Through all of this, even as a slave is beaten and violated while being made to lick a boot clean before she is thrown back in her cage for the night, the Dominant MUST respect the gift of submission, respect the person they are dominating, respect the relationship/arrangement, respect the need for a perverted interaction, trust that the submissive isn't withholding anything, trust that the submissive is receiving these gifts correctly, and must do all these things out of affection (even if there's disgust or disdain on the surface).

If you are a submissive, and disagree, we probably won't play well. If you are a Dominant, and disagree, we probably won't get along.

"When someone beats a rug,

the blows are not against the rug,

but against the dust in it."

-Rumi

This is perfectly expressed.

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" - Psalms 139:14 (KJV)

I am certain that I was born with all of this in me; I remember playing as a little kid, and none of my scenarios of rescuing the princess involved untying her right away. I'm further certain that all of us have the shared purpose of using what we've been given to add goodness to the world (love, grace, happiness, enlightenment, whatever).

I am not at all certain that there is a god of any kind, but I am absolutely certain that what I do is a good and pure pursuit of my purpose. And if some higher power in particular wired me for this, that's really cool too.

There are three discrete and imperfect paths to salvation. Salvation through self-destruction, salvation through harmony, or salvation through ecstasy.

I believe that we do what we do because we feel an unspecified urge to pursue all three paths at once.

I believe that making this pursuit the focal point of what we do, rather than unintentionally alluding to it in the occasional conversation, can make these things we do feel more and more like salvation.

This is why I tie knots. This is why I bring pain, thrill, and relief.