I have so decided to add a journal entry here. I am a very private person and don't like to share with the "public", but here goes.

It has taken me awhile to realize what I am. I am very "normal/vanilla" on the outside. You would not even know my "nature" by looking at me or talking with me. I am on the outside loyal, friendly, empathetic, nice...I could go on. I am the type that friends call on to watch their house or help them move. I am dependable. I have a normal job which lets me travel now and then.  Get the picture!

On the inside I am very mental and twisted. When I talk to a female I look at them as objects. To be used, humiliated, made to cry, give pain, degraded, etc. I love a fit, attractive woman, but I am not exclusive to that parameter, it is just what I like best. I am not into kids, I am not that sick! But the Daddy/little girl has some draws, lol.

This is a sexual thing for me. Do not get me wrong, I like intelligence, a woman who has drive and needs. I like stimulating conversation, over many subjects. But prefer one on one conversations then in a group. 

More to be added later.