Collarspace.com

Horizontal Line
Vertical Line
Horizontal Line

Horizontal Line

LightningAndYoga

Vertical Line

( the questions for self-discovery, that I refer people to, are near the bottom: just scroll down to near the bottom & you'll see 'em : )
---

I'm off to live in the bush for a year or so:
see ya in 2014, civilization!
( year-long retreat for Spiritual development :)

* update in Nov 2013, after moving to the bush last winter...
damn, but trying to mesh with "humanity" is EDUCATIONAL...
why, I wonder, is profound meaning something that "humanity" need smash from existence?
it's more important that I birth my soul's meaning than that I understand why civilized-conditioning/programming needs to smash subtle & deep spirit from universe, though, so rather than waste my limited life endlessly fighting with an addict ( civilized mind-condition that normals are conditioned/programmed into ), I continue force-integrating me, alone, in the bush.

That crazy Jewish gnostic "Jesus" was right:
you CANNOT orient *simultaneously* both to conventional-worth & one's soul, itself.
only souls are worth orienting one's meaning & life to.
end-of-update *

New ( this was winter 2012/2013 ) Update: I Might as well inform readers of interesting toys I've come-across since the '90s on BDSM sites, eh? Here's one by a company my Firefox + WOT ( Web Of Trust ) plugin says is not very trustworthy, so I'd only buy from them on a "gift" visa-card that they couldn't ever max out through all my money on...
http://www.bodybouncer.nl/
Leather By Danny / GripCuffs:
http://www.gripcuffs.com/homeall.htm ( WOT gives them a green-ring rating )

Also a green-ring:
http://www.medicaltoys.com/electric.htm
https://www.feeldoe.com/page6.html scroll down a bit...
-laughing-
( WOT hasn't got enough data to rate 'em, but why don't all the Dommes in the world use these instead of strapons??? )

vibrating nipple suction-cups:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/nipple-luscious-vibrating-suction/adult-toys-dvds-18396 ( green-ring in WOT )

Here's a new addition to this list:
http://www.azurebellajewelry.com/servlet/the-8752/Mens-Heavy-Curb-Chain/Detail the 30" version of that makes a good steel collar, if wound double 'round one's sub's neck
( if they fit a 15" diameter collar, or less! )
and here's the "bracelet" size, for anklets & bracelets
http://www.azurebellajewelry.com/servlet/the-8751/Mens-Heavy-Curb-Chain/Detail Obviously, if 7.5" is ideal, but they've only got 7 OR 8, put together a 7 & an 8, then wrap 'em round as a "single" chain, to get the length right ( but the weight doubled )


... that's it for today's update, enjoy!



UPDATE: I'm moving out to the bush, as-in no cabin, no power, no cell, just me & the bush, ( & tent, solar module, notebook computer, textbooks, drumming & flute, yogas & meditations, drawing & paintings ) to force a profound integration in me. Call it "a retreat" if that makes more sense to you, call it "boot camp" if bootiness makes moar sense to you: its intent is to change me permanently, to make unbreakable-meditation be the foundation of my mind and life, forever. Until that change happens, my integration is primary, and all other engagements are secondary. Namaste, eh? ( : --- ( south of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada ) --- And Now... A Massage from our Sponsor ( my sponsor is Real-Worth, that-is, the sponsor of all our Living! ) Here's an awesomely excellent means of increasing one's owning of one's career, one's LIFE, one's SELF... http://www.amazon.com/Business-Model-You-One-Page-Reinventing/dp/1118156315/ I'm putting the amazon.COM link, because of the reviews: you read them, and you'll understand some of what I find to be liberating about working-through this book... another item worthy of note is this: Axsmar "Captivating Steel" finishes for his work: http://www.axsmar.eu/wid-8-Oberflaechen.html his ( semi-affordable ) Stainless Steel stuff: http://www.axsmar.eu/kids-32-2-Stainless-steel.html my favourite, the Hephiastos style: http://www.axsmar.eu/kid-33-a-Hephaistos.html this collar, in Pearl, and click-lock, is really nice: http://www.axsmar.eu/aid-209-Hephaistos-neck-collar-X-Individual-collar-made-to-your-desires.html

Now... Back to the Regular Program...
--- I want woman to submit to loving, cherishing, pampering, being undressed, bathed, groomed, dressed, held, disciplined into "sub"space, ruthless ravishing, kaizen ( continuous-improvement/evolution ), yogas, forced-orgasm, skill-growing trainings & tantras ( including drumming, drawing/painting, Bellydancing... ), & only if required as aversion-therapy, punishment ( like for DUI, indulging in addiction, committing abuse, etc ). I'm a Top, not a sadist, and also, I'm committed to growing my sub's worth/validity, not letting her potential be put-down, by unconscious "convention" or by anybody's determination/presumption. I want woman to challenge me to increase my evolution & integrity ( 2 things I value more than my life ), & as I consider the normally-assumed limits to be bogus, to push my self-honesty towards perfection ( one learns a LOT more in each day of good relationship than one does alone.. : ) I want immersive partner, not doormat or passive, vital meaning not mindlessness, Spirit Living, no mere mundane "living"! And sillynesses, too...! ( : Here's my TantricDancingEagle profile on Plenty o'Fish: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36207806 so you can see another angle of my meaning... ( they apparently won't let me login again, because I didn't login every 5 days or something, AND they won't re-activate my login there... idjiocies! ) also, youtube for "Kodo Spirit of Taiko" ( without the quotes ) & get a true treat... also, youtube for "Johnny Rabb Tamtam" and you'll find ( I think it's the first result ) an INCREDIBLE kit-drummer playing on electronic drums ( the complexity he's playing is stunning, with surgical precision & insane speed... made me discover Jojo Mayer, & rediscover Gene Krupa! youtube for Jojo Mayer TEDx and get an interesting talk, A38 Ship and get an insanely-sustained Jungle piece, played on an acoustic kit... that drumming... oooh/yoi! ) I find much in these 2 stories wromantic ( I skimmed 'em, so I don't know if the promised putting Zoie out of J&J's relationship happened... I stopped reading while the 3 of them were all mututally loving & in-love, because TO ME, Love overrides convention, unlimitedly... how anyone could insist monogamy-CONVENTION overrides true love & whole-loving, I can't grok )... hence giving you the links... AND hence me not finishing reading the story, too... ( what you want/need isn't necessarily identical to what I want/need, eh? :) http://www.LitErotica.com/s/zoie-doulos http://www.LitErotica.com/s/zoies-valentine http://www.BDSMLibrary.com/ also has some interesting ones... Cheerses! PS: this need be added, apparently: I'm NOT anyone's sugar-daddy, and I *despise* parasitism, *including any I find in my own unconscious mind that would use others, anyhow!*
I am committed to using my life-resources to MAKE possible the freeing-from-abuse of others' lives, in whatever most-robust, most systematically-capable manner I can find, that can't be sabotaged or scammed ( which means probably getting people the training-information & understanding they need to break their own cycle is best: everything else can be diverted too easily, from the scams I've been .. how to be polite .. .. sucker-punched by, or seen others used by, in my life ). I don't care HOW many get away with molestation, violation, dishonesty, robbery/muggery, aggressive abuse, subtle abuse, emotional murderousness, or whatever: it isn't OK, and I am committed to using my life to put a nail in its coffin! ( & a steak in its heart, no matter how "hammy" such a wish may act ) If that orientation, the orientation of one who would rather die broke, but with *integrity* having greater proof/truth in the world, isn't something you want enough to invest emotionally in, please don't bother trying to communicate with me, eh? If such conventionally-deemed to be "incompetent" motivation as integrity, or making better-world, or other ways of putting it, makes some sense to you, then maybe you care the same way as me? I say "incompetent" in that previous sentence, only because that is what integrity is, in shallow/materialist-society's eyes: incompetent idiocy ( lies make money more easily than honesty/integrity can, therefore lies are money-"better" than ruthlessly-honest integrity, rightttt? )... Sorry 'bout the grumping, : P but why use resources to prove one's privilege, when one can instead use the same resources to unabuse beaten-on lives?? Cheers. Here's MOAR!!1!:

The gist of this is from:

http://rachelrabbitwhite.com/what-kind-of-submissive-are-you-everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-kinky-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask/

but I find there are a few structural erors in the meaning they got

( just as I expect others to discover structural erors in what I get! )

... they found "7 matrices", I find 19++ dimensions...


I'm right, of course...

( :-p )

or write, as this IS my writing...


My answers are after the whole-block-of-questions,

so you can cut-and-paste the block of questions to other pages,

& amplify/re-write 'em, to your heart's content,

without having to edit-out my answers

( if you find such questions help gain understanding

quickly & rightly in your/anyone's relationship or personal meaning! )



19++ ( I keep discovering MOAR!! ) Dimensions of Submission or/and Relationship:

  1. Does serving someone/everyone feed your heart? ( or, Do you want your love-someone serving you? )

  2. Do you want to feel in 1, many or all ways owned? ( or, Do you want to own your love-someone? )

  3. Do you want/need to be immobilized, to be made physically-helpless, or to be physically-frustrated? ( or do you need to do it to your love-someone? )

  4. Do you want/need to be beneath authority-force, to be obeying orders? ( or do you want/need your love-someone to obey? )

  5. Is embarrassing-intimacy, or invasion, your want/need? ( or, Do you want/need to embarrass/invade your love-someone? )
    [ this
    isn't the same as denigration/humiliation:
    this is the essence of many "medical" fantasies,
    whereas denigration/humiliation/putting-down is
    its own thing. ]

  6. Do you want/need to be pressed by great physical-sensation - whether forced-orgasm or flogging/spanking, whether all the way into subspace or not... being forced through sensation-force into greater frame-of-reference - ? ( do you want/need to do this to your love-someone? )

  7. Do you want/need to be subject to involuntary-intimacy, forced-intimacy, or fucking, or forced-orgasm, aka Ravishing? [ evidently several other dimensions here can meddle with this one ]

  8. Hardness of being controlled: Nylon-rope & physically-encouraged, & lovingly "commanded" TO steel shackles, chain, & ordered without gentleness, or/and physically-forced without consideration.

  9. Do you want/need to be Sharpened/Smartened-Up, or dumbed-down?

  10. Do you want/need your submission to be private within your relationship, private within your close friends, including your acquaintances, or do you want/need the public's awareness pressing you?

  11. Ritual to Sponenaeity... ( how the hell is that word supposed to be spelled? ) Do you want living to be all ritual? Do you want living to be entirely intuitive-flow? Do you want living to be entirely-random? Which balance/mixture do you want/need?

  12. Do you want/need to be subject to sexual-denial, whether orgasm-denial or arousal-denial?

  13. Do you want/need to be pushed into growing patience, or do you want chaos displacing you from being with yourself?

  14. Do you want/need to be difficult, Instigatrix/obstreperous or passive?

  15. Does being denigrated/humiliated, being put-down, being treated as an inferior-substance, happen to be your want/need? ( or, do you want/need to do it to someone in relationship? )

  16. Does being treated as an object, or depersonalized, happen to be your want/need? ( or, Do you need to objectify your love-someone? )

  17. Do you want/need pain piercing your awareness or breaking your conventional-mind? ( or do you need to pierce someone's awareness with pain? )

  18. Do you want/need to be immersed in fear?

  19. Do you want/need to resonate-in victim-anxiety ( what "suspense" movies drench people unconsciously in )?

  20. Do you want/need to be/feel abandoned, or given-away? [ is this 2 things? abandonment & being treated as commodity? ]

My answers:

  1. I don't much care for being-served, except intimately: I'd rather we both get what need doing, done, together, but I do reserve the right to serve my sub/"slave", as a means of making her feel her submission ( submitting to undressing, to bathing, to being fed wonderful food, to specific trainings... intimate-serving includes learning Bellydancing for me... ).

  2. I want/need to own my love-woman. Not in all ways, but in intimacy, in intimacy-loyalty to our relationship, in surrender, in my right to explore & conquer her, & to know her heart, essence & her meaning.

  3. I want/need to immobilize my love, to force her through greater intimacy-overwhelming & breaking her mind through crashing waves of orgasm. Just Because.

  4. I want/need my love-someone to obey me, in some, specific ways, ONLY:
    I want/need intimacy-obedience ( the right to play-with my love anywhen, anywhere, anyhow, Just Because ), I want/need emotional-honesty, no matter what ( & my love has the obligation to hold me to that same standard, and must obey this rule/principle ), I want/need my love to be loyal to LivingSpirit first, not to me first, no matter what... I don't want my love ever being dishonest in closeness, in giving, or doing, in words or emotions, with me or LivingSpirit/her-SOUL...

  5. Invasion is critical in making intimacy more piercing of someone's awareness...

  6. I want/need to press my love with sensation-force, to give birth to her subspace-awareness, her HUGE mind, AND I want/need her to obey me in pressing me into it, too, my right way. I ALSO want/need to break my love through forced-orgasm, simply for me to enjoy the rubbling of her mind through unbearable pleasure...

  7. I want/need involuntary-intimacy, aka sexual-submission, to be most-fundamental dimension of my love making herself mine, entirely...

  8. Nylon rope, gentle orders ( with discipline backing 'em, don't doubt! ), and loving-force: I want nylon-rope on my love, but I want steel between that nylon-rope & whatever solid it's attached-to: soft on her, but hard/unyielding between her & her affixing...

  9. I need my love to be sharpened-up, increased in smartness & vital-agility: if anything befalls my love, I want her surviving, if not thriving!

  10. I want/need our relationship to be OURs, not public's: they haven't earned trust ( by far ). As-for few-friends, it'd have to be within-our-intimacy-relationship, or it'd have to be a multi-someone-marrying-of-our-hearts... ( poly ). I'm not a "swinger": casual/careless intimacy is wasteful of heart...

  11. I want/need some, specific rituals: like when we close the door to the civilized-world, leaving their crass smogs outside, then my love-someone submits to undressing, me bathing her in caresses, wiping away the coarseness of industry's world, then, when she is nude/dressed/collared however I want her, she undresses civilization from me, bathing me in her attentions, this ritual making our space our intimacy-space...
    I certainly don't want our life to be ritualized, though! Ritual's a means of breaking crassness's momentum from one!

  12. Later in my relationship will sexual-denial, specifically Tantra, become part of our practice/Way: it is the fastest method, by far, of increasing one's nervous-system's "voltage"... Read Elisabeth Haich's "Sexual ENERGY & Yoga" for some of that background...

  13. I want/need patience to be grown in our relationship, but I also want/need my relationship to be trained to withstand chaos, so it can't break/wreck our relationship opportunistically.

  14. I want/need my love-someone to be instigatrix/obstreperous, rather-than passive: challenge, not padding...

  15. I don't want denigration/humiliation in my relationship
    ( I use denigration against my ignorance,
    but that's part of all-out war:
    it hasn't any place in milder, or interpersonal relationships )

  16. I don't want objectification/depersonalization in my relationship or my love-someone, though it is a harmonic in my training of me...

  17. I don't know if I need pain piercing my awareness, but want/need sensation-force, not pain, conquering my-love to her REAL mind, shedding her habit-mind...

  18. I don't care for fear.

  19. I don't find victim-anxiety healthy, an indulgence ( trust I want to be my-relationship's home )

  20. I don't want any "abandonment" in my relationships. ( hurts too deep, too much )

Ha!

Ach, Yet Another!!


21. Gender vs Sex: Are you attracted to female BEing? to antrogynous BEing, or/and to male BEing? Are you attracted to female FORM, to androgynous form, or/and to male form?


My answer: I'm attracted to female BEing, no matter whether the body appears female/male ( some gays, female-BEings, are just SO sweet/huggable ), but the form I'm attracted to is female ( no matter how sweet the BEing of a gay, female-form "does" my mind ).


And Another! Arghh!


22. Approval: do you want/need your owner's/authority's approval? Do you want/need to not have approval? Do you want/need your someone to be dependent on your approval?


My answer: If I could go through my life with no human ever approving-of anything I do, ever again, my heart would only get stronger...

I want my love-someone to be independent of anyone's approval, and the effective means of gaining that, is through positive-reinforcement of her intrinsic rightness & validity.

Assuming dependency on others' "approval" for one's "self-esteem" is to be made into a pinyata, instead of being grown into a capable total/extant/real PERSON...

Undermining assumptions have no right to manipulate our world, let-alone our lives!


Double-HA!


: p


Horizontal Line

Vertical Line

Horizontal Line
Horizontal Line
Islandmeat
 
 Age: 24
 Fayettville, South Carolina