Updated 10-04-08

There is much more to the words we use to write our profiles and journals than what most of us realize. Many of us would probably be shocked to learn what we unintentionally communicate to others. Some random thoughts addressing some of the things I have observed about others on CM:

Profiles...

... either written by the submissive's alleged dominant or including a journal entry written by the submissive's dominant claiming that the submissive is now under his/her control always illicit a chuckle. What a brilliant display of the so-called dominant's lack of trust and insecurity! Not very dominant, eh? Does the dominant think that us lowly readers of the submissive’s profile/journal won’t believe that she/he is actually serving someone? What does the dominant think he/she can accomplish by posting such literary drivel... besides wasting bandwidth? In all fairness to the so-called dominant, such bleetings (you know, the noise made by sheep) do convince us of his/her lack of true dominant character. I suppose that might encourage other self-professing dominants to make a run at the submissive. But they are also fakes (hence the "self-professing" preface)... no true dominant would want a submissive so naive or lacking discernment as to fall for an obvious fake.

... stating that the person is not interested in players or fakes. Wow, thanks for pointing out the obvious. Is anyone interested in being played for a fool? Actually, after reading some profiles here, I think some are....

... mentioning addictions, mental or emotional dysfunctions, serious interpersonal relationship difficulties, etc. boggle the mind. I realize that in our present day narcissistic society, there are many who believe everyone is intensely interested in every aspect of their being (News Flash - We're not!). But this violates one of the fundamental rules of relationships.... we all have baggage; but it is simply good judgment to be discrete and not divulge intimate information too soon - and certainly not in a public forum to a bunch of strangers. Hard to believe I have to say this: Emotional instability is NOT an attractive quality.

... (The Aretha Franklin Syndrome: Part One) demanding respect - if you have to ask for or demand it, you don't deserve it.

... (The Aretha Franklin Syndrome: Part Two - R - E - S... er, what comes after S?) telling responders to be respectful, etc. because her dominant reads her mail always elicits a chuckle. Is she trying to tell us that she has suddenly become respectable now that she serves a dominant? Hmmm, probably not... These types are very similar to the submissives instructed to find another girl for her master/mistress. These are dysfunctional relationships lacking the unconditional trust upon which successful, healthy, long-term bdsm relationships are founded. When two people share unconditional trust in their relationship, they do not fear the other's freedom nor are they jealous of the other's friendships. If the trust developed (better "undeveloped") between the dominant and submissive is so weak that the dominant cannot trust the submissive not to stray (that is really what they fear when their submissives log onto Collarme), then the submissive should not be allowed to visit Collarme... actually, in this illustration, they shouldn't be in an intimate relationship at all.

... (The Wishful Thinking Syndrome) in which dommes post photos showing them in submissive positions crack me up. Honey, if you pose like that, you ain't dominant.

.... (The Shopping List - Part One) from submissives demanding that any dominants contacting them must be this or that are a waste of perfectly good bandwidth. How does making demands fit with being submissive? Submissives/slaves have no right to make demands. Anyone giving into such demands hardly qualifies as a dominant. So the effort is simply an exercise in futility... neither party is actually who and what they think they are. Actually, they are the exact opposite... hmmm, on second thought, maybe it will work after all.

.... (The Shopping List - Part Two) from submissives posting a list of demands that must be met by any dominants contacting them only serve to illustrate the submissive's ignorance and naivette. No player, predator, or pretender contacting them is going to acknowledge not meeting her criteria. Any real dominant will already meet the standard set of criteria appearing so prevalently on CM. So why post such demands?

.... telling those who might respond to "stand apart from the crowd and impress me" are usually the most boring. Obviously, this person thinks more highly of him/herself than he/she ought. Don't hold others to standards you yourself cannot meet.... impress those first whom you hope will impress you.

....screaming NO MEN!!!, NO WOMEN!!!, or other rants about undesirable responses are usually posted by those who lack the maturity and emotional stability to function safely in BDSM relationship.... grow up and learn to use the delete and block features.

.... (The Doormat Syndrome) crying about being mistreated and demanding respect are posted by those lacking inner strength and who should not be participating in the inherently dangerous activities of BDSM. People can only do to us that which we allow.... be accountable for and honest about your own inadequacies and don't blame others for your own failings.

...(The Doormat Syndrome: Part 2 - The Whining Revisited....) screaming about not being a doormat are written by those who are just that... a doormat. Others can only do to us what we allow them to do. Ergo, if one lets another treat oneself like a doormat, then one is a doormat. Please wipe your feet before entering....

.... espousing one's opinions and telling readers not to respond if they don't like what they've read are posted by those who lack true conviction. Know why you believe what you believe and be prepared to defend yourself... or remain silent.

.... attacking or threatening others are posted by those lacking self esteem. Personal attacks and name calling are the last resort of those who lack substantive argument. These people are closely related to those mentioned above and have to berate others to make themselves look big (unfortunately, only in their own eyes.... the rest of us are not fooled).

.... claiming to be "under the protection" of a dominant always amuse me. Just what kind of "protection" can one provide via the internet? It doesn’t say much good about the submissive, either, if he/she lacks the strength or intelligence to employ the delete and block functions.

.... yelling the loudest about some subject or imposing unsolicited advice or opinions on others are usually posted by those who know the least about that which they scream. One cannot learn when one's mouth is open. Listening is a virtue.

.... bragging about one's injuries suffered during a scene or thanking a dom/domme (lower case intentional) for providing some kind of medical treatmentfor injuries inflicted upon the submissive indicts the submissive for serving one lacking the proper knowledge and experience to be participating in BDSM activities..... such self-professing dominants should be avoided. Surely, unexpected situations will arise occasionally during an intense activity such as scening. However, the responsible and qualified dominant prepares for as many situations possible to ensure the safety and well-being of the submissive.

.... (The Money Princess Syndrome - Part One: I’m Like The Government... You’re Too Stupid To Be Able To Handle Your Money Responsibly So I Will Do It For You) from dominants (predominantly female, hence the title for this observation) demanding tribute are actually just selfish narcissists preying on the ignorant and emotionally dysfunctional. Do people really respond favorably to such unwarranted demands? If so, such a submissive surely lacks the character necessary to bring honor and respect to the dominant.... and that in itself renders a negative judgment on the so-called dominant.

... (The Money Princess Syndrome - Part Two: What... Me Work? The Horror! The Horror!) from dominants demanding tribute are selfish, lazy, immature narcissists who think the world revolves around only them and owes them anything they desire. The concept of actually working to obtain something is completely foreign to them. Obviously, their parents failed to raise them to be responsible, self supporting adults. My advice? Get a job...

.... (The Money Princess Syndrome - Part Three: I Am Really Who I Say I Am... I Can Prove It!) from dominants demanding tribute are usually not dominants at all. Take one profile, for example, in which the self-professing dominant tries to rationalize why she demands tribute - she claims to actually be helping the submissive... how is forcing the submissive into a financially disadvantageous position that affords the dominant leverage in controlling her submissive "helping" the submissive? A true dominant doesn't rely on crutches or force (financial, physical, mental, or otherwise) for control.... he/she relies on wisdom and respect. If this person were actually dominant, she would care less what others think and not waste her time (or ours) trying to explain her actions.

.... from submissives seeking other submissives for their dominant (there’s that lowercase intentional again....) say more about the lack of qualifications of the dominant than any glowing report his/her submissive could write about his/her wonderful qualities. If one is such a wonderful dominant (as surely professed by his/her submissive), he/she should have no problem attracting many deserving submissives. I say to the self-professed dominant, "Find one for yourself!" Or, was getting the first submissive a lucky fluke?

.... telling the reader how wonderful and experienced one is. My father once told me, "If a woman has to tell you she’s a lady, she ain’t." The same addage holds true to submissives and dominants. Don’t tell me... SHOW me!

.... claiming to be collared, under consideration, etc. but not naming the dom/me (or dom/mes not naming the submissive they have under consideration, collared, etc.). Does such a person lack confidence in the relationship and wishes to keep the other person's identity secret should the relationship fail? Or, is such a person not proud to be associated with the other person in a bdsm relationship? In either example, one should not be in a relationship with another if they lack confidence in the relationship or are not proud to be with that person. There seems to be a lot of these pseudo relationships.

...... (The Horshack Syndrome - Part One) posting every little detail of some recent participation in a bdsm activity make me think of Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter.... "Ooh, Ooh, Ooh! Look at me! Look at me!" Such attention seekers lack self confidence and (if claiming to be dominant) true dominant attributes. Why do they feel the need to convince others who and what they are? Their character and actions should do the convincing - again, show me, don't tell me.
.... (The Horshack Syndrome - Part Two) posting sensitive personal information that is best only shared with those with whom one is very close brings back more nightmares of Horshack.... TMI - too much information! As our society becomes more individualistic, narcissistic attitudes become more prevalent. We live in a very narcissistic society in which too many people believe they are so important and special that everyone they meet must be intensely interested in every little detail of their pathetic, mundane lives. You better sit down because what I have to say might floor you.... NOBODY CARES! And, that is exactly the "problem". These people do not have close friends (or family) with whom to share intimate, personal matters. We all need to share such subjects once in awhile... but not on the internet with strangers in an uncontrolled forum! That's just plain stupid.

....... from submissives who claim their so-called Master wants them to find another Master to "train" them brings several thoughts to mind.... Is this the profile of yet another pretender posing as a sub? Perhaps, it is from one who hopes to serve another and is using an imaginary Master to garner some kind of respect or attention? In either case, this is not the quality of person that would interest a true Master. If one is truly dominant, then he/she is fully qualified to train his/her submissive.... if he/she isn't, then he/she is either not a true dominant or lacks the necessary time or interest in tending to the needs of the submissive.


People who...

.... are looking for a Daddy Dom are simply whores looking to exchange sex for someone to take care of them. Trust me, a real prostitute - even the elite - cost much less than a whore for a sub.

... who are we kidding? Women who scream the female supremacy propaganda. The only people who believe in the fallacy of female supremacy are those whose character does not command respect.... so, they resort to female supremacy to demand it. They are not worthy of anyone's respect nor submission. Not very "supreme", if you ask me... (Just for the record, all men are created equal - "men" as in mankind... men and women - no one is superior to another simply on the basis of gender. One is only superior to another on the basis of character.... each person is judged on his or her own merits, not gender.)

.... flame others who stand firm in their convictions (obviously, an opposing opinion), block the others from responding (see my aforementioned comments on blocking messages), and then check the others' full profiles every day thereafter are a scream. It is said that one is only as big as that which makes one angry... this is not true - we are smaller than that which makes us angry. While one might think it is nice to have this kind of control over another, I disagree.... after all, consider who they are controlling. Such small-minded and immature people are not worth our time and attention and do not bring honor to us... we are judged by those with whom we associate.

...post messages in their profiles and journals about an impending absence from CM due to the large percentage of fakes are simply seeking attention and sympathy to soothe hurt feelings derived from unrealized, unrealistic expectations - usually resulting from rejection by a love/bdsm interest (dominants putting these kinds of statements in their profiles are the most hilarious... if one is truly dominant, they wouldn't care). Suck it up.... life is rough and no one promised that you will always get what you want. If one is wanting to take a break from CM, just do it... no announcement necessary. Send private messages to those with whom you wish to remain in contact. Deactivate your profile if you want to come back without drawing unwanted attention. But don't expect others to offer a shoulder for you to cry on... the only ones who do that are usually in the same mental/emotional boat as you - fellow shipmates on the SS Co-Dependency ... or predators and players who will use your dysfunction to manipulate you in achieving their own perverted desires.

... put "lil" or "little" in their nic are usually anything but. The vast majority of the submissives using "lil" or "little" are obese. The sight of so much intentionally exposed cellulite imposed upon us in everyday public life has made me swear off eating cottage cheese forever...

.... use "princess" in their nic are usually conceited narcissists who think way more highly of themselves than they ought. They are just another immature Paris Hilton wannabe... the end of the line is W-A-Y over there.

That's it for now. If you've read this far, at least you are literate... pat yourself on the back - considering the extremely poor grammar and misspellings, too many people here appear to be illiterate . Check back often... this journal entry is a work in progress - a living entity of sorts (a Frankenstein monster perhaps?) You never know when another observation will compel me to hit the keyboard again.