I have some more photos posted on under the same name. Contact me for more.

My desire is to share the rest of my live with someone. Shared experiences seem so much sweeter. I want to curl up in someone's arms at night. I am passionate, snuggler who loves to kiss. Remember the line..."An angel in the street but a freak in the bed." I am a passionate, sexually adventurous woman with my man. I have been married twice so I know that I like sex, but knowing that I like it does not make me easy. I am still a lady and want to be treated as such.

I do admit that I was not considering a boy who was not nearby, but I have changed that a bit. I will consider a boy some distance away if he is willing to travel and come see me often. It i fs hard to really get to know a boy if you can have some real interaction face to face... or maybe it is face to shoe. Either way I can not see how a boy behaves in just text alone.

I also read another book today... DOMME BY DEFAULT... and found it to be a good book. I think a boy could use it to introduce his wife to the idea of his wanting to be her slave. Buy it and read it while she is sitting there and then leave it on the coffee table. She will want to know what you are reading and will look.

Last night I ffinished reading the book THE RELUCTANT DOM by Tymder Dalton. A must read book. This comment stood out in the book...

"...But it's not about the sex. It's about fulfilling a need for someone. She needs to serve, she needs the structure, the safety and security. And the release for her emotional pain. ..."

Best line in the whole book. If you ever want to understand the 24/7 lifestyle read this book. It will open your eyes to the life and what it is like. Having a box of kleenix nearby would not be a bad idea either.

The other line in the book that hit home was ...

"He could have sat there all night like holding her like that. It wasn't so much a sexual experience aas it was an emotional one, like she'd been viscerally bare and trusted him to keep her safe until she could function again.

Like her was protecting her. ..."

A must read book on the 24/7 lifestyle and the heart behind it in this very well written book.  All wraped around a man discovery of a lifestyle that he didn't know anything about when his best friends life turns upside down changing everything.

REVIEWING PREVIOUS WRITINGS

I got to looking at what I have written thus far. One thing that I noticed is that I can tell which were written on my phone and which were on my laptop based on how many mistakes in spelling there are.

A reoccurring comment recently made by boys are that they are concerned that I will write them up with their name in the journal. It saddens my heart that Doms are doing this. My hope would be that they would not be doing it to those that are truly submissive. However it has been disappointing that there are fewer people out there that I would call truly submissive, though my standard may be high. To me a submissive does not give up a right to think or to be intelligent. I would hope that those who are mine would be intelligent. My desire that they would use their minds and work towards improving so as to be smarter and wiser submissive. An example might be something like the sub learns I like to have massages so they look into what classes are available and where. Then come to me with all the details and ask for permission. How much does that say about the submissive? If the goal of a submissive is to please their owner would they not do all they can and look for new ways to please?

Back over a year ago I wrote, "Repeatedly in conversations since my last entry the thing that keeps coming up in conversation is the same. So I decided that I should write a note about it. When I am approaches by a boy for a conversation and he expresses a desire to serve me 24/7 it is disconcerting that this boy will then go on to tell me what he wants ME to do for him."  I find it interesting that this is still a problem even after I write about it.  Would it not be wise for a boy to read what I have written and learn all they are able to about me before saying "hello" to me.? I also find that a boy will tell me what they will and will not do.  For example I have a submissive that I have contact with regularly and he believe that his not telling me if he likes something or not is being submissive even if I ask him. I do not believe that a boy should have that right not to tell me if I ask. The reason is because he is deciding what is best, not me in that situation. Should that not be my call rather than his? The final decision should rest with the Dom. Though I believe that also means that there is a responsibility on the Doms part when caring for those that they own.  A sub may be my property, but my property has value to me. Something I value I will take care of.

Finding the boy that will wear my collar and sit at my feet has been a much more difficult search that I thought it would be. I have always thought of myself as a fair caring Mistress. I suppose that some might not see my self-control and lack of yelling as being a Mistress. To me there is true control when you can control yourself. Yelling seems to me to be the point where you lose your control and dominance in a situation. You lose at the point you raise your voice. Some subs would disagree even some Doms would. But if you are looking at two people; one yelling and one talking in a normal tone of voice, which is more in control of both themselves and the situation?

Oh, I could keep going but this is getting long enough for now. Have a good day. Contact me at my Yahoo IM or Gtalk IM of kati.lanley and remember to say that you are from CollarMe or I will most likely not accept your request for a conversation.

Time frame example: 1) Meet & touch (like hold hands)  2) inspect  3) a two week trial period  4) 1 year apprentice  5) 3 years as a submissive  6) possible LTR as full slave �...5�& 6 are probably living together.  Time frames are and example of what is possible and may not be your experience.

I wrote this to a boy, but it seems like a good addition to here.

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7/26/11 at 6:33 AM:

Hello boy, 

Been away from my computer for a while. Had two vacations one right after the other. The first one was one that took me to Long Island New York. That was a very good time for me to relax and get away from things. One of the most enjoy able things was getting the chance to walk in the ocean surf. It was cloudly when we got there having rained earlier. It made it perfect... big Jones Beach and only a handful of people. I felt so free and like a small child again. I loved the sound of the waves.

The second one started on Friday and on Wednesday I have to go back to work. It was suppose to be a vacation with a man that I went to college with. He was going to come to a reunion here in the cities that was on Saturday. Unfortunately he did not come... Made it a hard weekend in so many ways.

What things an I looking for in a slave... I guess the first thing would be that servants heart, Many think that they have it but as you get to know them you realize that it is not my comfort and pleasure it is theirs. I would like to find a boy that was really interested in what I want rather than giving me a list of his demands. That gentle man.

In my thought of my boy and how it might look.... I see a boy that knows his place. Is happy when he pleases me, be that in work or in sexual pleasure. I see both of us working near the same hours. Coming home after work to a clean house, with all the household work done. My boy would be kneeling naked at the door waiting for me. Dinner would be ready and the smell of the cooking food would great me. My boy would kiss my shoes and great me. (I have a few ideas on how I would like this done, but have not decided on the exact one. May be a kiss or may be a private greeting with attention to my pussy. Just not sure what I would enjoy more.) My boy would help me with coat, bags, shoes and things. Dinner would most likely follow.

I see many things that he would do for me; brushing my hair, washing me in the bath or shower, kissing my feet, licking my pussy, sucking on my breast like nursing, to things like spanking, soundings, chastity device (for some reason the look is pleasing to me), I envision a boy that really does want to learn how to please me in bed for I have had multiple orgasm in the past and it is a lovely wave to ride. I want to do it again. This is not a boy that just lays there, but one that actively makes love to me. Depending on how I want to play would vary the activity and what it will be looking like. I do like to have sex often. How that would look depends on who my boy turns out to be. I do like to have my boy cum sometimes after I have had my pleasure. It is important to reward a boy once in a while for good service.

I like romance and cuddling. I could see my boy curled up at my feet. Right there to do as I wish with a word or hand movement and he would be off doing what I want. May even allow him to lay at my feet with his head on my feet as a pillow. I like being help often, I can see this happening when I watch TV for example.

I live in 400 square feet and hate it. I want to move to a place with my boy. I see my boy and I living in a two or three bedroom with two baths. The laundry right there so my boy is able to keep clothes clean without having to leave me. I would like to have the TV in a separate room from the livingroom. I like the livingroom to be a more quiet room if it works out. I would like to move together sooner rather than later so I would have the boy with me oten so I am able to get to know him. This would be important before I would move. Someone is available to me when I would like him with me. I do enjoy the companionship of having my boy with me.

My boy would have a car and would take me to places I want to go. I like going on walks, theaters, music events, museums, art shows, dancing, traveling. I really enjoy Chanhassen Dinner Theater and am very excited about going tomorrow.

Once I am sure the boy works out I would place a collar around his neck and a tattoo on his leg so it is obvious he is mine. Still working out what the tattoo would look like but it would be tasteful, probably something on the simple side.

In the vanilla world he would act more like a boyfriend especially around family.

I would like a boy who can think and can hold a conversation. One that reads the news would be nice, might be read the paper to me. I enjoy being read to. I enjoy SciFi probably the most, but enjoy others too. So my boy is not dumb. Maybe a boy who is good at finances and keep the bills paid.I like a boy that keeps in contact with me. I don't like chasing after my boy. I like him to keep me informed on what is going on with him. What his schedule is, etc. He keeps finding me and letting me know of changes, etc. I am a high quality Mistress. If you want to serve me, make yourself available. This seems like an automatic, but it seems to be a point that a fair number of boys miss.

A boy that is not allergic to cat since I have Sam for a few more years. He is about 15 and won't be around much longer.

Also how can I get a hold of you?

It would seem I wrote a book *giggles*, well I did say I like a boy who likes to read.

RULES THAT WERE GIVEN TO ME AS AN EXAMPLE

TOTAL RESPECT
    You shall always address to your Mistress respectfully and end each and every single sentece you address to her with the word Miss, or Mistress.
    When you are online, as soon as your Mistress logs in, you shall send greetings to her via IM.
    When you enter online you shall immediately check your friends list and see if your Mistress is online. If she is, you shall send her greetings via IM. That's the first thing you shall do every time you enter SL. If your Mistress is not online, you shall continue with any asignment or order you received from her, and pay attention to the "(X friend) is online" notifications.

TOTAL OBEDIENCE
To contradict an order has no room in this Family and it greatly annoys your Mistress. Questioning an order from your Mistress is another thing that has no space in This Family.  Are you a submissive ... or what? If you're not submissive enough to blindly follow your Mistress' orders, don't waste your time trying to belong to this Family and more important, don't make your Mistress waste her precious time either. Better find a Dom who allows that somewhere else...  if you can.

TOTAL DEVOTION
You shall be an uncollared sub, without being submissive to any Dom, before asking to be accepted in the probation period, prior to become a formal member of this Family. From the very first second of your probation period, and during all the time you are part of the Family, you shall totally devote yourself to Miss Nina, your Mistress.
You shall not address to any other Dom, unless you're addressed to by them first, and then you shall just answer politley to what they tell you or ask you, calling them Miss or Sir (mind the capital initials) at the end of each of your sentences. If any issue rises that requires a decission, you shall kindly ask that Dom to address to Miss NIna for an answer.
You shall NOT follow any order any other Dom gives you, under no circumstance. Miss Good is YOUR ONLY Mistress, and no one else, no matter whatever those other Doms say and no matter what the situation or circumstance is.

ABOUT RESTRAINTS
    COLLAR
    The collar shall be worn ALWAYS, and it shall not be removed under abosutely no circumstance. Only Mistress BADNINA Destiny can order you to remove it, no one else can, under no cirumsance or situation.
    SHACKLES AND BELT
    The shackles, for both, legs and arms, all eight pieces, plus the belt, shall be worn always. Again, only BADNINA Destiny can order you to remove them, and no one else can, under no cirumsance or situation.
    RESTRAINED LIFE VIEWER
    You must ALWAYS use the restrained life viewer when you long into SL.

ABOUT CLOTHING
    Pants (slacks), and undies beneath dresses are forbidden.  You must wear no piece of clothing under your skirt.

ABOUT SEX AND PLAYING SEXUAL GAMES
    It is forbidden to have any kind of sexual interaction with anyone who does not belong to this Family. But you are allowed to play with your sisters and do it at the Dream Girl's Home... or do it with whoever your Mistress tells you to do it, when and if she tells you to do so.

Don't waste your time with jealousy and drama, since they don't exist in a true and good submissive.  Better concentrate in your own performance as a sub, doing the best you can for your Msitress and compete just against yourself, to improve every day that passes by and become a better sub, to please your Msitress.

ABOUT DOUBTS OR QUESTIONS RELATED TO THESE RULES
    If you have any question or doubt about these rules, just ask your fellow sisters or your Mistress. It is always better to talk for a while about something that seems to be not to clear for you, than falling from your Mistress' grace for not obeying the rules and be punished however your Mistress considers pertinent.

Old listing of rules from virtual work as examples of what kind of rules there might be though rule are fluid and changing.

Mistress’ Rules to Follow:                        
(Rules are listed in no real order.)

1.    Upon login, check for messages from Mistress.  See if there is anything Mistress has left for you to do for her.

2.    Watch for your Mistress to come on, come to where She is, and greet Her.   Come in the manner of dress She has told you to wear.  Kneel before your Mistress when you have rezzed enough to see Her.  Once you have done so, greet others present, and then remain silent unless spoken to.  In Mistress’ house when only household members are present, pets may talk freely unless told to do otherwise.

3.    When others not of Mistress’ house pets will arrange themselves in the following manner: first pet will kneel on Mistress’ right side and behind her a bit.  This is done so pet can protect Mistress, with pet’s life if necessary.  Other pets will kneel before Mistress so as to see Mistress, thus allowing for signals to be given from Mistress instructing pet to do something.  Watch for these signals.

4.    pet’s collar will be worn at all times and can only be removed with Mistress’ permission and is to be returned promptly to it’s place. Mistress' tattooed marking is always worn. In any place in SL.

5.    Mistress is to receive open and honest communication from her pets.  Open discussions are allowed in Mistress’ house when only those of Mistress’ house are present.  Communicate with mistress often.  No bad language.

6.   Request shall begin with "If it pleases, my Mistress, …..?"

7.    Do not speak with others unless you have asked and received Mistress’ permission to do so.  pet shall not whisper (talk in IM) to others while Mistress is present.  If pet receives an IM from someone, pet may said “wait, pet is with Mistress and will ask for permission to speak” and then ask Mistress for permission to respond to the IM.  The same would be true if Mistress has sent pet on an errand.  When on an errand, slave is working for Mistress and will behave as if Mistress is standing with pet.

8.      No portion of a conversation with Mistress or rules can be copied and sent to anyone other than Mistress.  Conversations you have with others can be copied to Mistress for her review or clarification, but no other person.

9.    Remember to be descriptive in your conversation and thoughts.  The thoughts of a pet are often posted in the room; keep these respectful of your Mistress and her house.

10.   Mistress’ pets serve only Mistress unless She tells them to do otherwise.  If another is granted to be on your collar and spend time regularly with pet, Mistress still superceeds what the others might say. pet is to follow Mistress' rules at all times and may politely ask the other to speak with Mistress about it.

11.    The pet’s duty is to figure out what pleases Mistress.  A pet should not desire love of his Mistress, but rather must desire only the please his Mistress may obtain from feeling that love.  The Mistress’ pleasure is the pets reward.

12.    Ask permission to leave computer.  If leaving the computer for more than five minutes inform Mistress when you will return and log out.  If a RL emergency occurs, type “911” and log out.  Upon your return explain to Mistress what happened, do not make Mistress have to ask you for an explanation.

13.    pets have Mistress’ permission to dance with others in public dance areas when Mistress is not online and have friends.  Other touch with people is not permitted unless Mistress gives permission first.  Do not go into others homes without Mistress’ permission.  Never go into a Master or Mistress' house without Mistress there with you.  Do not assume more than this is ok.  Ask to do something else before acting upon it.

14.    Hide from others if you wish, but not your Mistress.

15.   To touch Mistress is a privilege and does not have to occur unless it pleases Mistress. It is a priviledge to be with Mistress and in Her house. Remember this at all times.

16.    pets will have no alternative characters in SL.  If pet does have pre-existing alternative character in SL Mistress is to know these names as well.  The use and reason for the alternate character is to be discussed with Mistress.  Mistress is to know when any alternate character is on (show on Mistress’ friends list).  Mistress can call pet from these alternate characters, if they exist.

17.    Strive as a pet to have the mindset of utter devotion, absolute obedience, and service Mistress without hesitation.  These are the duties of a pet.

18.    Obey Mistress.  Be respectful of others, but obey only Mistress or those she places on your collar.

19.    Never remove Mistress from your collar.

20.    Add below to pet’s profile, who is collared, will display the following messages on the 2nd LIFE tab in the ABOUT section (Center all the things between stars in the window):

There is a longer list of the common rules in BSDM which has over a hundred things. If interested ask me about them.

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                                        *** GAIN ***
                        *** Collared 25 Nov 2010 ***
                         *** Restricted and reserved ***
                    *** House of my Mistress Kati Evans ***
                  ***also subject to Miss Aeariel Bathori ***
                 
i am for my Mistress’ pleasure only.  My Mistress allows me to dance with others in public places and make friends.  If you want anything more of me, please speak with my Mistress first.  If you have a problem with me please speak directly to my Mistress regarding.  Pet can not be collared, captured, or bound without my Mistress’ permission.

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HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN
…and provide what she needs in her core being and will please your Mistress

Closeness: I feel closeness with you (face to face and heart to heart) when you:
•    hold my hand
•    hug me
•    are affectionate without sexual intentions
Openness: I feel openness with you (you are not secretly mad) when you:
•    share you feelings
•    Tell me about your day and challenges
•    Talk without harshness, guardedness, or grunting.
Understanding: I feel you understand me (empathize with me) when you:
•    listen to me (know when to give advice and not to solve my problems)
•    repeat back what I sometimes say so I know you’re hearing me
•    express appreciation for my contribution and roles saying, “I couldn’t do your job.”
Peacemaking: I feel at peace with you (issues are resolved) when you:
•    admit you are wrong and apologize by saying “I am sorry” (a turn on to a woman) “Will you forgive me …..”
•    keep the relationship up to date, resolve the unresolved, and don’t say “forget it”
•    spend time together cuddling (with out sex) after a hurtful time (and pray together if that is your belief)
Loyalty: I feel a loyalty from you (complete commitment) when you:
•    don’t look at other women
•    speak only positive things about me before family and friends; no airing dirty laundry
•    do not bring up splitting up, rather that you are committed to the relationship
Esteem: I feel esteemed by you (treasured above others) when you:
•    verbally support and honor me in front of others, especially family
•    praise me for what I do for you
•    value my opinion in the gray areas; not wrong just different from you

These things will not come to your naturally and feel foreign, but they are to a woman like a breath of fresh air in a smoke filled room.  It brings life when she feelings like she is dying and will draw any woman to you.  It will take practice, but is well worth the effort you put in making these things a habit in your life to give the women in you life.  They will be thankful for it.

Note: the first words spell COUPLE to help you remember.

• When I speak of wanting a “house-boy/boy-toy”, I thought it was pretty self-explanatory. Apparently that is not the case so let me try to explain here. ---“house-boy” is the term I used to explain that I am seeking a boy who will be taking care of household chores. I have never liked house-cleaning, dishes, laundry, and all the similar things. Life has only made that dislike of housework stronger over time. (Ask some day and I may tell you the story.) ---“boy-toy” to me is the aspect that I like playing with a cock rather than a pussy. I enjoy riding a cock. Plastic toys just do not feel as good. Also I do tend to be hornier than most women I know. As well as pussy licked, toe-sucked (fyi: I have pretty feet), breast messages, nipples sucked, sucking cock, and many other things. When I own a boy I was to try most things with him; keeping what works and discarding the rest. ---Other things that I would like is backrubs, feet massaged well the whole body really, be bathed by my boy, hair brushed, read to, good conversation, and the list goes on.

Tonight the things on my mind are…

• So many boys seem to only be looking for the sexual aspect of a Dom/sub relationship. A great number are willing to say anything just to get the change to please Mistress sexually. Remember, being a Mistress does NOT mean that you have sex with every slave that comes along. We are FemDom Mistresses not the kept mistresses. Mistress is not the same thing as Whore. Do not come with a long list of requirements that I must do for you; this is not a game to me. This is my life.
• It surprises me how boy’s approach a Mistress. Those first few words to get her interest. From the moment you approach a Mistress you are being evaluated and possibly tested to see if you would be the right boy to own, be this me or another Dom. There must be a sub out there that is really willing to take that step and earn a place in a Mistress' house. Over time I am more and more convinced that a boy should earn the right to even touch his Owner, and be grateful if you become the one that gets to be used sexually.
• Tonight I have a cough and could have used having a boy at my side just to care for me. Being ill when you are alone is a bit scary. Though I would not want to pass germs to someone else. I want the care my mother gave me when I did not feel good.

• THERE HAS BEEN SIMILAR QUESTIONS; HERE IS SOME OF THE ANSWERS IN RANDOM ORDER....
• Those are welcome who are new since they come without having to retrain them from some others preference to mine. Experienced are also welcome if coming without expectations, wanting me to act like your previous Mistress, I won't!
•  
  
  Females do not ask to be considered, the answer is NO.
• The male form is a beautiful thing and I have no desire to hide it behind women's clothing on a regular basis.
• Over time, I have discovered that I do not share my property well and my boy will be exclusively mine.
• It is required that those wanting to be considered for my House are single and live near me, so you would have to live in our around the Twin Cities. If I want to *snuggle* I do not want to wait hours to do so.
• When I speak of the 24/7 relationship this does not mean that a cage is waiting for you or confinement. On the contrary, it will mean that you will eventually live in the same apartment/house with me.
• This relationship will be mostly vanilla from the outside, though I am sure those that are in the lifestyle will recognize the signs.
• Do not mistake softness on my part for weakness or that gentleness means that I am not a true Domme; this would be a big miscalculation on your part when I have a whip in my hand.
• As a slave, you will earn your keep by having a job outside of the home or other income so you will not add a burden to my budget.
• There will be daily honest communication going between, so be prepared to start now while being considered. This is a good way to show that you are serious about starting a real relationship and not just playing games, which is a waist of my time. It also shows if you have the correct attitude of service.
• Yes, I said slave for I do not argue or explain what I ask you to do, just perform the task. However, that does not mean that you do not have a voice or an opinion. When asked to do something mine may state briefly, why you think differently. This is to prevent whining, ask instead. Begging is acceptable. Ask anything you wish. The only dumb question is the one that remains unasked.
• No one smokes inside my living area it will be outside or not at all. Social drinking is acceptable excess is not. Be prepared to do housework. With having to do less chores on my part the more "fun" activities may be planned.

Was asked how a Dominant starts a conversation with a submissive person and this was my answer. "What has brought me the most success over the years has been to ask two questions:

1. What led you to bdsm?
2. What brought you to CollarMe?

These questions tend to then lead you to other things to talk about. Find out what they like and do not like. This comes in handy later. I like to keep asking them questions and once in a while answer theirs. I let them know that they are to always ask the question then I will decide if and bow to answer it. I do not discipline for asking question, I would for being disrespectful. Happy hunting."

Do you want a 24/7 relationship?

• Recently over the holidays I have noticed a few things that I found out of place when slaves approach Me wanting to be considered for My 24/7 slave. I thought these were relatively obvious, but maybe they are not. See of any of these rings true to you.
  • First, the greeting: the Mistress sits on a throne and you approach Her. Would you walk up to the Queen and say, "Hey, how are you?" and then stand there and say nothing? (Please tell Me you would not do that.) The minute you come through the door into Her presence you are being watched and evaluated. The test begins. As is the moment you begin to write a message to Me. How would you approach a Mistress, with the same thing you copied and pasted to the last 20 Mistresses of the day? Believe you me that when She finds out you are off the list of those being considered. Are you getting a mental picture of what you are doing? Why are you approaching Her? What is the first things that you want Her to know about you? How are you going to make yourself stand out from the group of twenty that have approached Her that day and get on the short list of who She is considering? Erase what you were going to write and this time think. you are approaching the Mistress who you want to be your Goddess, what are you going to say to Her? Now start writing.
  • Second, the approach: you have been looking around at the different pictures and profiles trying to find one that you want to be your new Owner. Which one do you really want to belong to? Which profile makes you want to bow at the feet of that Persons? You find someone and write a short note to Her. Then you hope She writes you back. This Goddess decides to reply and shows a bit of interest. Now it is your turn to crawl up to Her feet. Remember you are being tested to see how you will handle yourself. Consider what you write. Many have said that they want to be Mine. That they want to be the one who serves My pleasure. Yet they do not come back to talk to Me for three days. Really, do you not see the lack of true interest that behavior shows? Or worse the Mistress has said to you that She wants to hear from you daily, and you do not talk to hers for days. So where is your true servant’s heart? What of your future relationship are you showing to this Goddess? The plan is to become Hers and please Her yet you are unable to be disciplined enough to search this glorious Mistress out each day as She told you to? Really how much interest and potential does that show? Yet out of all the boys the Goddess is speaking to that week, only one boy is available to talk to Her each day to please this Mistress. Over the holidays this one boy is there daily hoping to serves Her. This boy may not have been the Goddess first choice, may not have even been the second, but here he is back at Her feet. In this quiet way he is telling Her by his actions that he really does want to serve Her pleasure and will obey Her. Which would you pick the one who says he wants to serve you or the one that is there so he can? Actions DO speak louder than the words you say. Who do you want to be? If you are one of the boys that did not contact the Goddess all is not lost! Now that you know better, do better.
  • The third action: Are you really listening to the conversation you are having? Pay attention! This Goddess may be softly saying what Her desires are and you do not want to miss what She is saying. Pay attention! Not all use My approach but in My household it goes this way.
    • When I say "I want" it is a command, but it is not immediate you may finish what you are doing. Or I may be stating a desire I have. "I want to get some more of this chocolate ice-cream with caramel in it." Hint: put it on the list of groceries and get it next time groceries are purchased. It will please Her that you remembered. Also having a notebook to write these things in will help you learn to please your Mistress without Her telling you. YOUR ONE GOAL IS TO PLEASE HER.
    • However the sometimes things are said as a command. Don't pause, go do it quickly. Only stop for questions if you need clarification. “Go get a glass of water," for example needs little clarification. Whereas "Draw Me a bath" is said and you have not done it for Her before. It would be correct to ask Her how She likes Hers done. Real hot water, lukewarm water, candles, music, and so on. Write it all down as soon as you are able. Then next time you can ask if she wants anything done differently and she does not have to explain the whole thing again. Pay attention to the duration and write down the variance. Maybe the Mistress likes to soak for a half hour and then have you come to Her and wash Her so stay nearby. Also at the half hour mark you would have the opportunity of asking Her if She would like you to wash Her now. Remembering goes a long way. Watch the Goddess for clues, that will make you more pleasing to Her. Start now do not wait to begin get to know Her now.

If someone wants to ask a question you are free to approach Me. I always allow for questions. However I do not always answer them. If is up to Me which I do and do not give an answers to.

• Note: most of what you find out on the internet is films of a Mistress who is a “professional” spending a few hours performing in front of a camera. Once the session is over the boy goes his own way. The boy may have even paid the Mistress for her to treat him that way.  This is what a vast number of boy’s believe to be the “true” way to submit to someone, which goes against some of the very basic principles of service. Would it not be best for a man considering submitting himself to a woman to take the time to find out what it means, especially when he is thinking of giving his life away to her?
• Repeatedly in conversations since my last entry the thing that keeps coming up in conversation is the same. So I decided that I should write a note about it. When I am approaches by a boy for a conversation and he expresses a desire to serve me 24/7 it is disconcerting that this boy will then go on to tell me what he wants ME to do for him.
• In the simplest form a boy lives to please his Mistress. In return the Mistress guides the boy. This is especially true of a Lifestyle Mistress since he is her property. Why would she want to destroy what belong to her? A boy is allowed to have opinions and think for himself, having things he likes and does not like is permitted which should be communicated to his Mistress. However when these become something that he insists happens or even demands from his Mistress he is trying to take control and this is not an approved behavior. A boy may ask his Mistress anything, but he should never top from the bottom. It is her position to decide what is and is not done.
• I myself take this behavior very seriously. It is not becoming of a boy to behave so poorly towards his Mistress. To be allowed to be in my presence should be something special to him. To actually have my attention even better. Which is what a boy with a submissive heart would live for, doing things that please me his greatest happiness.
• Do not be fooled by those who behave this way and say that they want to submit to a Mistress. There is no true submission in demanding one’s own will. Think next time before you start of conversation with someone. Oh, and boys give a Mistress the respect that is hers.
• Any time you have a question and feel like a conversation approach me all that I require is that you be truthful and answer what I ask you honestly.

• 100% required? NO! - Today I was talking with a boy and the statement was made that he was afraid that he could not live up to all that I want. We are all human and make mistakes, I am not looking for perfection because I will make mistakes too. What I am looking for is the submissive nature and a willingness to learn; without both it is hard to teach. The goal is for you to do your best.
• The checkboxes were not filled out... WHY? - I chose to not fill them out because I have found each relationship with each boy is different. The highest percentage of activity should be stuff that we both like. Experimenting together is part of the fun. Example: some boy's like pain and want to feel it so for them it would not be punishment to spank them or the like it would be a reward. Whereas another boy might not like pain and it would be punishment to do something that hurt. I want to learn my boy's likes, dislikes, desires, fantasies, dreams, etc. That will help me know which way to take things and give direction to the training.
• Does it need to be 24/7? - Well if I were to want to snuggle with my boy and he was not there but where he lives, where would the fun be. However, I do not expect an immediate change in living locations but it would be the goal.
• Daily communication and contact - This is an important part of the Mistress/slave relationship and something I would want to establish.  There are many ways that this may be started, but ultimately it will mean meeting face to face to see if there is some chemistry. At the first couple of meetings it is my desire to discuss some of the preferences and fantasies we both have. What is it that you would like to get out of this kind of relationship?

Comments about what I say are welcomed, just send me a message. As questions are asked I will add answers here to those repeated often.

• The softer side of mean... Yesterday I was listening to an old podcast called Fem Dom Calls. Mistress Ryan said that she was the 'softer side of mean'. Generally she was gentle but when she get a cane in her hands and the mean side comes out. Sounded a bit like me, I am able to be gentle yet if I need to discipline or in play be mean, watch out.
• New to BDSM... is not a problem with me, since the new ones are able to be taught what you want, without things that they have to unlearn.
• To be considered.... to be mine you must be a submissive single (single, divorced or widowed) male slave who lives in Minnesota (preferable the Twin Cities) better 30 & 60 years of age and willing to be open and honest while telling about yourself. Sorry, but if you are married it is hard for you to live with me in a 24/7 relationship.

• What do I like...I like a very submissive heart, for the rest comes from that heart. It is not something you can teach; rather it is part of the nature of the person. It is the foundation which can be built on once found.
• What do I like...A boy that will take over the household chores, leaving my time free to do other things including more play time. A boy who brings in money to pay for what he needs so he is not a financial burden and who makes equal or greater than I do. One who is reliant and is able to take one responsibility. A person who enjoys just being in my presence, and yes sometimes at my feet.  A person I can hold, and who is able to hold me as well.
• What do I like...My boy would learn to trusts me without needing explanations.  Loyalty, playfulness and adventurous is desired. One who could think and carry on a conversation and yet be still. At times I would ask mine for ideas of things to do and I would like more than “how about dinner out”, rather “there is a new restaurant called … which serves burgers that you might like to try”. A slave that comes without rules and restrictions, but knows how to make requests to let me know what he does and does not like. The kind of person that really wants to get to know me, my likes and dislikes, who would eventually know me better than I do myself.
• What do I like...Well while this may not be exactly what was wanted when the question, “What do you like?” it is what excites me and where all the rest begin. As far as the more playful activities go it would include snuggling & kisses, pussy play, bondage, worship, for examples these activities would be adventurous and yet safe, never damaging the boy who is mine. Oh, and I love things like having my hair brushed and a well done breast message. Also I do not share well and I am not into head games… I have to think enough at work. What our play becomes is something that will develop over time and be generally enjoyable for both of us.