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LadyOfShallots is a culinaryliterary pun. Honest truth I dont care for the poem, but it was a close friends favorite poem.
Marital status divorced after 20-year marriage. I will be upfront and state that I have only ever had 1 sexual partner.
Children yes, youngest will turn 18 in less than 3 years
Education 4 years of college, but had to drop out due to illness
Religion high church, liturgical Christian, very devout, only missed 1 Sunday in the last 2 years (and that was when my car battery unexpectedly died and Uber couldnt have arrived soon enough.)
I grew up in a fundie church and community even more conservative than the churches and communities here in the Bible Belt. I have always appeared to be outwardly coning, though subtly pushing boundaries, e.g. my stereotypical-homeschooling-mom long denim skirt was 10 dex and very tight. I was and still am the rogue feminist espousing beliefs that are very different from my friends and familys. I and many others are refugees from the culture wars started by our fundie, evangelical churches we grew up in. If thats you, hello! I still believe the Bible is totally true and I am a membervery regular attender of a fairly theologically conservative church (with ordained women), but I interpret and apply the Bible in a very, very different way than I was taught as a child.
Politics completely disillusioned registered Republican who is torn between libertarianism and socialism. I was a Tea Partier who would have voted for Bernie. I can hold a vicious political debate with myself.
Personal core values faith, family*, compassion, knowledge (*My value for family doesnt mean that I will always choose flesh-and-blood over all others. My priority hierarchy is God, husband, children, church family and extended family, friends, the rest of the world. My nuclear family is dysfunctional but we get along great--I hardly speak to my siblings but when we see each other, we have fun. I know all of my first cousins, almost all of my second cousins, and a lot of third and beyond.)
My domme philosophy I am a sensualist working in the paradigm of Dommesub. I am looking for a man who wishes to give me complete authority over his sexuality (orgasm control), knowing that his total submission will be cherished and treasured and rewarded. (If he desires to submit in other aspects of his life, that is welcome too.) I will whole-heartedly pursue his ultimate sexual satisfaction, and my goal is to excel in all I do. I may or may not run a clinical study on the most effective sexual techniques for 1 lucky man. Every scientist knows that controlling variables is difficult in human populations, so a lifetime of experiments will be required in order to have adequate, statistically significant data. Any experiments that produce positive results must be repeated under many different conditions in order to validate results. Complete control over the subject is needed in order to eliminate as many variables as possible. Who said science isnt incredibly sexy?
I am not a sadist at all, but if a stream of pre-cum drips down my legs when I bend my sub over my knees for a spanking, you can bet the farm that I will do it again often and thoroughly. The same goes for any other sexual activities not on my hard-limits list. I dont go for the stereotypical domme outfit of black leather I prefer my leather to be brightly colored. I will not engage in public collar-and-leash or ponypuppy play where any vanillas can see because it feeds negative opinions of BDSM. Dont shove your weird kinks in the faces of a public that didnt consent. That said, I will take great delight in hand jobs hidden under the table while speaking to clergy, parents, bosses, etc. I will use positive reinforcement to make my husband a better man (iron sharpening iron) studying for continuing education or getting additional accreditations to excel in his career, reaching health goals, etc.. The whips will get pulled out to whip all writing into shape because I am obsessed with great grammar, punctuation, and spelling. (My grammar nerd opinion on the Oxford comma fully in favor of the Oxford comma, in case you didnt notice.) I will be his keyholder if needed.
Hard limits polyamory, cuckolding, bestiality (animals arent capable of ined consent!), pedophilia, scatplay, blood, diapers (I changed enough adult diapers when I was working--it was my honor to serve others who *needed* those services, but so not my kink!), receiving pain, country music. Humiliation is close to being a hard limit for me--it hurts me too much to consensually verbally abuse someone.
ISO monogamous female-led relationship that leads to marriage Im quite kinky. I require 100 sexual submission, but am open to additional submission. I prefer to be egalitarian on major life decisions and seek to find consensus. Must live in NE Florida or be able to relocate here for about 3 years. I can be incredibly discrete the most a vanilla will get out of me is a twinkle in the eye or a tiny smirk when others bring up BDSM, unless some time in the future a mutual decision is made to go public. If my entire church and family knew my sexual preferences, I would not be ashamed. Im not telling them diddly squat now because they dont want to know.
My dream gentleman absolutely must be a Christian!, intelligent, lifelong learner, adventurous (particularly an adventurous eater), geeky, multilingual, compassionate
My non-discrimination clause I wont discriminate on the basis of age (as long as you are somewhere between 21 and not dead yet--Monty Python reference), race, ethnicity, disability, gender expression, national origin, citizenship, height, or military status. I do discriminate on the basis of genetic sex (must be male), sexual orientation (must be sexually attracted to me, duh), marital status (must not be currently married, just being separated isnt acceptable), and religion (must be Christian). I acknowledge that I am prejudiced against blonds (theres a reason dark goes along with handsome), bearded men (scratchy), Southerners (burn all the treasonous Confederate flags meme goes here because, after more than a decade in the South, Im proud to be a damn Yank), francophones (prefer the sounds of amor or amore to the grating sound of amour), militant vegans (is there any other type? I could be lacto-vegetarian 90 of the time, though), cross-fitters (so pretentious set down the ridiculous tractor tire and volunteer as a mover for people in need youll get ripped in no time and do the world good), lawyers (shysters), car salesmen (uber shysters), politicians (uber, uber shysters), and multilevel-marketed alternative health salesmen (quack, quack), but I shall wholeheartedly endeavor to set aside my prejudices, even if you are all the above. My guiding principle will be 1 Samuel 167 and, yes, the previous sentence was full of my standard sarcasm, so consider yourself warned, but I do recognize that my prejudices are just as ridiculous as my sarcasm.
ladyofshallots1833.blogspot.com
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