Sunday 2nd September is the last night of the summer holidays.  My kids are away for the night. 

I'd just love to slip on some stockings, suspender belt, stilettos, silky nightie, then open a bottle of Southern Comfort, get comfy on the sofa and watch a film.  It would be better if I had someone with me, dressed similarly who'd like to cuddle, nuzzle, kiss and stroke while watching the film... then have sex. 

What I need is a film and fuck night.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew a Hallelujah

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

"Women's fashion is a subtle form of bondage. It's men's way of binding them. We put them in these tight, high-heeled shoes, we make them wear these tight clothes and we say they look sexy. But they're actually tied up."

I want to be a prize that is won.  I want the man who wins me to feel like they have won the lottery.

I recently had the honour of reading some ink on a young man. It said 'Carpe diem'. On his ribs he had a beautiful dedication to his mother who was my age when she died. It made me think. And so this is what sparked the following ramblings...

I want a man who is in his mid thirties, good looking, has his own place, a job and a life. A man who has a bit of baggage - after all, if you don't have baggage at 35 you haven't lived. Someone who doesn't want to live with me, but wants to spend some of his free time with me and sometimes stay over. Someone who has his own kids, or doesn't want kids.  A man with balls and an opinion. Someone that I feel protected by when I'm in his arms, who kisses me just because at that moment something he sees in me ignites the passion, or, just to shut me up! A man who wants to try new and exciting things and is just willing to give stuff a go - you never know 'til you try it, right? But who is equally happy to snuggle up on the sofa with me and watch a film. It would also be amazing if he would occasionally wear stockings, suspenders and panties under his jeans/trousers. Stumbling over a suspender clasp when I'm stroking a mans thigh through his jeans is so fucking hot! I'm open minded enough to want to please him with any little kinks he may have.

Oh, and one final thing (and I know this is the potential deal breaker or the thing that makes my dream unattainable) a man who, once or twice a month, would like to play role-play games with me. Who would be thrilled that I spent a couple of weeks planning an abduction or an interrogtion scene with him in mind. A man who is willing to share his own thoughts on role play/fetish with me and allow me to run with his ideas.

Mixing fetish and vanilla - is it so impossible? Surely there are people like me out there - I can't be the only one, can I?

I know, I'm climbing a never ending mountain. But it's the climb that's the interesting thing, right? I'm meeting some really great people as I climb and if I ever attain my goal at the top of the mountain and find that man in a million then I'll be one hell of a happy and lucky lady.