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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Dominant, 44,  Tacoma, Washington
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LadyFlutterby - photo 1
LadyFlutterby - photo 2

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No you may not call me Mistress. ?I don't do online, or cam. I will NOT answer chat requests. For those who won't read the journal entry...I am in a relationship, do not message me for anything but play, sex, or anything havig to do with D/s. Doing so will get you blocked. I am not available for anything but friendship, period. ? And now for something completely different... For those who don't want to read the novel on my profile: I'm a short, baby faced, warped, evil, twisted, downright sick, irreverent, blasphemous, brutally honest, kinky bitch with a penchant for the absurd and a demented sense of humor. You've been warned.

In the realm of D/s, I need to have a power exchange with someone, I need to have that level of responsibility, care, and stewardship. Within that dynamic, levels of power ebb and flow, depending on the people involved and their needs/limits. I truly enjoy my role as a mentor, leader, caretaker, friend, and evil bitch. ;) ?I have had experiences with poly. It doesn't mean I always have to be in a poly relationship, but it means I am able to, and do, love different ways within the D/s dynamic.? I prefer to focus my energy on one partner, but depending on the circumstances and the person, poly is an option for both parties if there are needs that have to be fulfilled outside the relationship.

I volunteer in my local community, vanilla and otherwise. I champion causes that help animals and children. As a former co-owner/moderator of a BDSM/lifestyle group, I volunteered many hours to help bring lifestyle opportunities to people and to help encourage cooperation between groups. ? If you are dishonest, homophobic, play games, manipulate, are shallow, just want to get laid, cause drama, are passive aggressive, are looking for a service top, or think all women are submissive, you will be sorely disappointed. All deal breakers for me in any respect. I do what I do because I like people. I enjoy creating a wonderful experience, that is my high when I play. If you can't let go and have fun, if you can't laugh at yourself, we probably won't get along well. If you can't handle blunt honesty, you won't last long around me. I'm always willing to learn, so please feel free to share, and I'll do the same. It's always nice to add a new person to my kink friends/family!










 Dominant Female








Actively Seeking:


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Journal Entries:
1/31/2013 10:59:30 AM

I am seeking friends only, and I already have plenty of those.  Please do not message me seeking play or more...doing so will get you blocked.

11/1/2012 4:20:05 PM

Another bullet dodged.  I swear, it's like I'm wearing a sign..

7/16/2012 10:32:27 PM

I've been told that sometimes I'm a bit harsh, and so I've made an effort to be nicer, especially to newbies, who may screw up when contacting me, but don't know better.  I will still make that effort; however, due to a stalker, and some creepy guy who followed me, I will be a lot less likely to share personal details of any kind until I get to know someone quite well.  It's sad that the douchebags out there make it tougher on the good folks, but self preservation is pretty important.  I don't care if you are the nicest person on earth with a security clearance the FBI would be proud of, I'm not going to be very forthcoming with personal details, etc. until such time as I feel comfortable doing so.  That includes f*tlife friendship requests, pictures, or yahoo.



7/14/2012 3:41:22 PM

Pretty excited for the tasting party tonight...if you're going to be there, stop by for a taste of fire!  Of course, I might have the wand handy too...

7/13/2012 11:30:33 PM

I'm starting to really like this place...beautiful summer, even a thunderstorm or two...and soon the little "play room" will be ready.   :)

6/13/2012 10:22:50 AM

Just when I think I've seen everything on this site...I get this gem this morning (and I'm still cleaning up the coffee that went everywhere when I read it):


Can i hump my pillow for you on cam?



(Insert extreme sarcasm here)

Why of course...I've waited my whole life to see some internet stranger's hairy ass humping a life is now complete.  Not saying hello or even using the slightest touch of manners adds to the epic hawtness of this request.  *SWOOOOOOON*



Yeah, I couldn't keep a straight face either.  There's a REASON all this guy has to hump is a pillow...or all he will have to hump in the near future, based on the douchetastic way he approaches women.'scuse me while I go toss some more chlorine in the gene pool..

4/12/2012 6:56:55 PM

After a week of my upstairs neighbors keeping me awake at night with their blaring TV, then blasting their music while I work during the day, I thought I found a solution:  10 hours of nyan cat, on high volume.  However, as sadistic as that is, it was only a temporary solution.  I have found one of the most sadistic things ever:  the ten hour version of....RICKROLL!!  After 7 repeats, they actually left their apartment.



Yeah, I can be a bitch.  Tee hee.   :)

2/17/2012 8:51:05 PM

Did a cord cutting ritual tonight...I feel absolutely amazing!  It feels so good to let go of those people who aren't good for me. 


2/4/2012 12:38:27 PM

What a gorgeous weekend!  Blue sky, sun...I think that groundhog's made a mistake.  ;)

1/27/2012 9:52:28 AM

This is for the know who you are. 


Knock it the fuck off.  You've been told for almost a year now, to not contact me ever again.  You've been blocked on another site, and every time you make a new profile here, I block you.  Get it through your head, never means never.  I don't care if you are sorry.  I don't want to hear it.   Every time you try to contact me, you violate my boundaries yet again.  Maybe you are terminally stupid and don't understand the word no...or maybe you just can't handle the fact that you don't get the last word.  It doesn't matter to me.  Every time you try, it gets reported to the Ladies I know, and to the appropriate websites.  If you take the next step and try to follow me somewhere and approach me, you better have really good medical insurance.  You'll need it. 

1/17/2012 10:56:14 AM

The Montanan in me chuckles when I see everybody around here freaking out about the snow.  Half an inch and it's "Snowmageddon!" 



1/10/2012 10:46:22 AM

I deleted my list of "interests".  First, because the way it is set up on here, it's utterly laughable.  Who really is an "expert"?


Second, it's subjective.  What Fire Play is to me, it is entirely different to someone else.  The same goes for flogging, bondage, etc.  A lot of people just look at the list with their own filter and perception of what things are, and never bother to ASK. 


Third, I am not a list of activities.  I am a person, and so much deeper than a random list of meaningless interests or fetishes.  If someone wants to get to know me, he will take the time to do so.


If you have a question, ask...but approaching me immediately asking for a list of what I'm into probably won't be the most successful endeavor. 

12/24/2011 2:43:10 PM

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

11/18/2011 11:12:29 AM

After talking with my fellow Sisters...and a few submissive men...I have a bit of advice for the submissive men out there; take it or leave it, of course.


1.  Manners never go out of style.  If you want to get our attention and get a positive response or a reply, saying hello and introducing yourself is the way to go.  Don't list everything you are into, etc.  A great way to do it is to say hello, maybe a little about yourself and what you seek (other than sex), and let her know what sparked your interest in her.  A good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't walk up to a woman in a public place and say it, don't do it in your introductory email.  You may think you are being efficient by getting to the point, but we are still women first, and we get tired of being treated like pieces of meat/sex objects by men online.  You may not mean it that way, but that's how it comes across.  Refrain from text chat (U, ur, 2, etc.) and use spell check when possible.  Attention to detail and a little effort go a long way.  If you do send a form letter, at least read her profile first and customize it for her, especially if there is a specific form of address to avoid.


2.  Don't offer yourself up right away.  Why?  Because most of the Ladies I have talked to, can't stand doormats who will suck up to any bitch with a whip.  Besides, you have the right to be picky, just as we do.  Do you really want to put your safety in the hands of some total stranger who may harm you permanently?  When you show respect for yourself, we see that and you start earning ours.


3.  Be honest.  If all you want is sex, then say it.  If you want more, say it.  If you are unsure, say it.  Don't tell us what you think we want to hear.  Few things piss us off more than investing time in someone based on what the man says, only to find out that wasn't his real agenda.  It's a small kink world...don't get a reputation as a "player".  Same goes for if you are married or attached.  Be honest, and you may find what you seek.  Hide it, and you will earn yourself a bad reputation among the Ladies.


4.  Show up.  You might think this is a no-brainer, but we are stood up so often, it isn't even funny.  The way the Ladies I have talked to see it, if you don't have the stones to meet with us for friendly conversation/coffee, etc. then there is no way you have what it takes to serve.  That being said, yes it is really scary, meeting someone the first time.  We understand that.  However, standing us up with no text/call/email letting us know ahead of time is very disrespectful of our time.  Besides, the men who actually show up, whether it is to a party, coffee, vetting lunch or whatever, immediately put themselves ahead of the rest, just by being there.  Being there is more than half the battle.  It shows us that this is meaningful to you, that you are willing to make that leap, and that you really are interested.  No call, no are perceived as just playing games, and that you don't honor your word.  Yes, there are plenty of bitchy Dommes out there that stand men up too, no question.  However, you never get what you want, if you don't make the effort.


5.  Let us know what you have to offer.  Just like you would ask us what we like to do, what we want, what we can offer you, we like to know what you bring to the table as well, and not just sexually.  What do you think service is?  What kind of service do you have to offer?  Many Ladies love things like neck/shoulder rubs, pedicures, massages, helpful things around the house like fixing something that is broken, etc.  Things that make her life easier.  Do you have a talent for certain things?  Being helpful will make her day and will make her want to have you around.  Likewise, ask her what her expectations are, and what particular things she enjoys doing or if she has a specific skill. 


6.  Reply.  Yes, I know, most of the Ladies don't answer emails as much as they really should.  I think this is because we get bombarded with things like "want to see me shove a pen in my pee hole?" or "i want to be ur slave and move in now and live in a cage".  I do try to answer every email, unless it is just so out of line I am speechless.  If we email you, even to compliment you, or say hello, it is good manners to reply, even if it is a "no thanks, I am not interested".  This doesn't excuse the Dommes who don't reply at all, but there is a reason you should at least say something and that is because....


7.  We Ladies talk.  We talk about YOU.  We ask each other for references, or if we have heard of so-and-so, and what the experience was.  If one of us emailed you and you read it but never responded...then another Lady asks about you, what do you think the first Lady will say?  We compare notes all the time, and if you were rude to one of us, chances are it will be noted among the others.   This isn't just local either...I have had Ladies from out of state ask me about my experiences with certain locals, or on CM in general.  If you are talking to/playing with more than one Lady, be honest about it, because it will be found out.  If you are honest, we may not mind at all, but if you are going behind somebody's back, you pretty much just screwed yourself with the lot of us.


Everything I said applies to the Ladies as well, to a degree.  Yes, we should answer emails and be nice about it (for the most part...there are some real douchebags out there).  Yes, we should show up.  Yes, we should be honest, and communicate what we have to offer as well.  I don't think this is one sided, by any means.  However, what I have seen are the submissive men who complain on their profiles about how they can't find a Domme, yet never reply to emails, send "do-me" emails, don't show up, or don't contact us in the first place.  Yes, it is scary, and I know you have been shot down many times and may not be up for another disappointment.  She won't be handed to you on a silver platter, though.  If you don't make the effort, you won't ever find a Lady who is compatible with you.  We are out there, and we wait for the ones who show that they are different from the mass hordes of rude horny net wankers out there. 


Ok, I'm done with the public service announcement...LOL!

7/24/2011 3:29:24 PM

I am still unpacking from the move to Tacoma, and busy with work and family obligations, so I may not be timely on answering emails, just FYI.  I will answer, just not right away probably.

6/5/2011 11:47:07 PM

Just FYI, after a bunch of recent emails...


Please don't send a chat request.  I don't use that on here, at all.  Ever.  If you send me one without asking, it will really annoy me.  If you ask, understand I will say no, no matter who you are.  I am also not going to accept your request to add me to your friends unless we have talked and you have asked me first. 


I answer emails when I can, and I answer almost all of them.  However, if you call me Mistress, M'Lady, My Lady, hon, or things like that, don't expect a positive reply.  If you expect to talk to me on the phone right away or meet me and play immediately, you will be disappointed.  I am here on this site because I have friends who chat here.  Anything else that comes about is gravy.  My focus is not on finding a submissive or relationship, but expanding and adding people to my life that I can learn from and who make me smile.  Do I want a partner?  Yes, someday.  I'm in no hurry.  When and if it happens, it will...until then I am more interested in finding fun people to spend time with.  Who could happen when I least expect it...


I am open to making friends with people of all orientations, genders and interests, but I do have limits regarding any possible service or relationships, and if we talk and you try to get me to participate in a particular kink that is a limit for me, we won't talk anymore.  If I say no I am not into it, I am not into it, period.  Trying to get me to participate in it by continuing conversations about it or what your last Mistress did, etc. is only going to cause me to stop talking to you...I don't fall for that.  Likewise, I am perfectly fine making friends with other Dom/Dommes, just please realize that I am not interested in power exchange relationships with another Dominant, and there is no way in hell or anywhere else that I will submit.  If I am on my knees around you, chances are I am just tightening the restraints...


If you are married or attached, we can talk, but I will not provide wank fodder for you, I don't want to see you on cam, and if you want to play or serve, then I expect your girlfriend/wife/husband/whomever to know about it, and preferably be part of the whole process, including negotiations.  I expect honesty, and I am not a homewrecker.  I don't care if you haven't had sex in ten years and she doesn't understand you.  I don't want some angry woman showing up on my doorstep out to ruin my life because you couldn't keep it in your pants.   Plus, it's been done to me, and I know that pain...I am not going to do something that interferes in someone else's relationship and cause harm to his/her family.  If you find someone to do that with you, accept those consequences...but I do not consent to those consequences.  Any man or woman that I would consider as a play, romantic or D/s partner would have more integrity than that anyway. 


Ok...I feel better now..


5/30/2011 12:33:02 PM

I will answer mail when I can...right now I have a family issue to address...

5/21/2011 3:20:57 PM

Well the nice thing about the "Rapture" is that all of the people of ill repute are going to be left behind...and you KNOW they put out....

5/7/2011 8:36:54 AM

There ought to be a law about getting up this early on a Saturday...without coffee!   *grumble...grumble*

4/24/2011 10:34:07 AM

Happy Zombie Day!

3/6/2011 6:46:06 PM

I've been lucky enough to meet some nice people out here, even made a few friends.  I still miss folks back home though...

12/27/2010 11:46:52 AM

A little clarification:


My profile had listed that I was looking for basically "everyone" because I was looking to meet local people. However, because some people took it the wrong way, I ended up with people I would never be interested in, looking to play.  To make it absolutely clear: I am looking for friends, first and foremost.  If a connection is made and things work out, yes I might take on a submissive, but only after a friendship and connection is established and then, it would take a lot of time and exploration.  I am NOT seeking ANY D/s or romantic relationship with anyone other than sub or switch men.  If I had a woman as a submissive, it would be service/play only, at this time.  My first priority is making a connection.


What I am looking for is to meet local people in the lifestyle, and to become a part of the local/regional community.  Anything else is icing on the cake.

10/17/2010 10:13:30 AM

Unless some sort of miracle happens in the job market here, I will be relocating to Lakewood WA in the next couple months.  Any information on local groups or the scene out that way would be appreciated.  I'm always open to making new friends, too.

9/20/2010 7:45:03 PM

I will probably be relocating to Washington State very soon, and would like to meet like minded folks in the area. 

9/11/2010 3:10:01 PM

I many out there on this site truly appreciate the beauty of the mind and find that sexy doesn't reside in a picture on the internet, but shines through the mind, heart and soul?

Engage my mind, make me laugh, soothe my soul and my body might follow...stand toe to toe with me and respectfully tell me the truth...and I will respect you in return.

Send me a picture of your penis, talk in txt chat or ask to get on cam for me, and you get ignored.

2/25/2010 3:19:44 PM
There is a CollarMe member and his/"her" roommate who have chosen to out me.  They were removed from our group due to their behavior but instead of taking responsibility for it, they have chosen to try to out me publicly.  Please email me if you are interested in knowing who this is, as I cannot post his/"her" name here.  People like this are a danger to our communtiy.

12/27/2008 11:56:00 AM
Ok, time for a public service announcement. 

1.  NO, I will NOT "dom" you online, and I don't care if you have a webcam.

2.  NO, I am not seeking a sub or slave, especially somebody who wants to come to the USA to leech off me.  If I did take on a sub, it would have to be someone very special.

3.  NO, you may not call me Mistress.  That is reserved for one that I own, and no one else.

4.  NO, I don't want to see your genitals, I don't care how "fit" you are, how much you weigh, etc. 

5.  I do not exist to provide wank material.  I am NOT going to sit here and tell you everything I'm into so you can get off, or participate in your particular fetish.

If someone has a sincere interest in the lifestyle, talking about it, and making friends, then sure, message me and we'll talk.  Any of the other behavior will guarantee they'll get blocked.

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