MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION VS. MY BDSM ORIENTATION

A note about my sexual orientation and how my BDSM life fits around it:

(Disclaimer: I hate labels! I hate that people feel the need to shove everyone into one box or another and that it's expected they follow the "rules and parameters" of whatever box they're "supposed" to be in. I am who I am. I like what I like. Some things just can't be definitively defined.)

When I name my sexual orientation, lesbian (ugh dang label lol), I'm naming it based on the gender of people I am attracted to as far as having an actual committed romantic relationship. That does not mean, however, that I am completely unattracted to males or any other gender. It means I will not date or marry anyone but a biological female because they're the only people with whom I've ever felt a romantic connection.

As for my BDSM interests, my attractions are more widespread, even though I'm still mostly attracted to females in this aspect as well because I operate on an emotional level so often. When it comes to finding a sub, I don't discriminate very much.

I had a male sub in the past (it was not a sexual relationship whatsoever) and wouldn't be opposed to having another one in the future. Just like with any type of relationship, it's about the connection and chemistry between the people involved, so if I feel the right kind of connection with a sub who's not female, if I believe we could be a good Domme/sub pair, I would be willing to consider pursuing a D/s experience with them.

Basically, my personal belief is that when a person who is innately dominant looks at another person, the Dominant in them doesn't see gender at all. They simply see different shapes and sizes and body parts of a human being. When they look at a submissive-type person, they see someone who could serve them in whatever ways they choose to have them serve, and it doesn't matter what sexual organs that person happens to have.

I should also give a reminder that not every D/s relationship involves sex or certain acts of sex. It is perfectly possible to have an incredible D/s relationship even when there's no actual intercourse. Besides, there are so many other delightful ways to achieve climax when I want either myself and/or my subs to achieve it. ;-)

To sum it all up: (If labels must be used) In my love life, I'm a lesbian, but I suppose I'd be considered homoflexible when it comes to BDSM simply because I'm not opposed to dominating non-females, even though it's not my ideal situation.

I may really enjoy playing with my toys, but that doesn't mean I take all of them to bed with me. ;-)