Life is crazy, findging male subs is crazier. It's sooooo odd that it's actually funny and I wonder why put up with it all?   Because I want to own a boy. I'll find him sooner or later. Later may be better. So, off to the races again as yet another gets shot down. Oh, real life folks, choose it. This e-stuff? That's for babies. I want men.

It's been crazy! Looking for a submissive is much, much harder than I thought. I think I got lucky when I was the slave looking for an owner. I hit it off very quickly and six years later, here I am in the strongest relationship I've ever had and looking to add to that magic.

Some may think we are crazy, but we have never been monogamous minded. In fact, that's how we started. It's a long, long, story with ups and downs. Get to know me and I'll tell you all!

Here are some notes to any potential sub considering contacting me:

If you cannot handle the poly aspect please don't bother. You won't suddenly be okay with it if you aren't now.

He will be on the first few face-to-face meetings. Again if this is a problem, move on to the next domme.

We are approaching things this way because initially when adding another person, the primary partners need a certain level of assurance. Such needs will lessen over time as the primary partners get to know the additional partner(s).

It may seem intrusive to those new to polyamory, but each couple has their own criteria of acceptance for their own security. It is something you can't push against because I won't jeopardize my relationship for someone I barely know. For that matter, I won't jeopardize it period.

So, if any of you have any issues with this don't bother with me. Don't waste your time, go after the domme you think is better suited for you. And don't fake it. It will bite you in the ass sooner or later. ~LA

I have three prospective subs that I am really interested in right now. They each have something different to bring to the table. Right now, I am sorting out overall compatibility. It is slow in one case, slower in another and well paced with the third. I don't hold that against any one. We all have daily lives to deal with.

What I have discovered in me is the possibility of wanting more than one submissive. It hadn't occurred to me before, but one of the subs I am talking to lives far away. Time is a resource he wouldn't take much of it because well, like I've mentioned, we have daily lives.

This thought has made me look at what I actually want. Do I want a full-time 24/7 slave? Is that even possible considering my owned status and the fact that Master is looking for a potential sister-slave to hopefully one day integrate into the household. Would this leave room for my slave? Would the slave even want to live with me?

The questions are hard to address because such things are long-term. Yes, I want a fully devoted slave. I want to love and cherish him and I want loyalty and love from him as well. I want a Yin/Yang Mistress/ slave relationship that makes D/s the magic that it is.

Do you have to live together to obtain this? Do you have to limit it to one person?

I think the answer is no to both. You don't have to have to live together for utter devotion and you don't have to limit it to one person. I live polyamory. I know it can be done. I've done it.

But that's not the real question. The real question is about want. What do I want? What does the slave want? And what are the realities behind those wants?

It' s hard to answer those questions because at the moment I am not entirely familiar with the three I am speaking with. We have known each other for less than a month. I have met all three fact-to-face and will meet with them again. I am essentially dating them, getting to know them and discovering them while discovering myself. How can I possibly determine what will be in a month? A year? Or even at the end of the week?

I suppose I can make a wish list of desires. I can try to force a slave to fit into that mold if I really, really wanted to. But I think reality will mold compromise between the needs of all. Honesty and communication to each other and to ourselves is all we can really give. Everything else will build itself, probably more organically than I'll realize. ~LA

A NOTE TO SUBS:

Initially, I do not own you nor will I apply the power exchange beyond the basic respect due to our potential stations. I do expect:

A) Prompt Answers to my questions/e-mails, etc.

If you take your time responding, I'm assuming you are not interested.

B) A Respectful Decline.

Simply say no thank you this isn't working out for me.

I am also looking for a relationship, not casual play. I want a relationship that has potential to develop into a long lasting commitment between Mistress and slave. However, I understand that such things take time to develop. I am not asking for outright long-term commitment, just the desire for the potential of it.

Also, if you are a “do-me” submissive you can bypass me. I'm not looking for scripted play and to serve your submissive needs. I am not looking to top a bottom. I am looking to OWN A SLAVE. These things are two very different things to me.

Having said such things, I am open to friendships and getting to know people on that level. However, if you cannot meet the basics listed above it will not be anything more than that. I wouldn't bother trying because it shows me that you haven't listened to a thing I've said. ~LA

You know it takes a certain amount of strength to be a slave. Not many think this, and many newbie submissives/slaves have great fear in their desire and finally coming to the reality of those desires.

It is sad to see someone with potential be broken by their own fear. It is sad to see one abandon what could have been profound, especially when all it would have taken is communication. Simple honest communication reaps many things, including a journey into self.

Recently, I have watched one fall to the wayside and I have wondered why? How much fear do you have? What pushed your conviction away from the ultimate goal? Did you expect to pushed and prodded into your slavery?

Dominance and submission is a two way street. It is a yin/yang, and one must give as well as take. Trust is built on both sides, all things take time, and there is uncertainty in the exploration. It is a part of the game, the dance, the interaction, or whatever you want to call it.

Walking away without word is cowardice. It is unworthy of the ideal. However, it is understandable when one cannot face oneself. To this person I say this: Find yourself, embrace it, and come to terms with it. You will find happiness if you do this.

And if you can come to me, face me, and tell me the truth then maybe we can speak again, maybe. It will be harder this time. Trust has been broken, but I will allow the novice one chance, only because I know the difficulty.

And if not me, dear boy, find someone. The slave heart never finds satisfaction without service. ~LA

A general note to potential slaves:

I can see that the initial fires have waned for many of our contacts. I am not offended by this. It is the natural course of the interaction. There are those of you who I have asked to respond and you have not. At this point, I consider the request moot. There is no obligation, not even the need to send me a note.

However, this is not an open invitation to contact me whenever you feel like it and assume we can start where we left off. It's just the end of it, with no hard feelings.

Also, if you have been attempting the contact and you are suddenly slowing your pace simply state you have lost interest. I am not going to chase you down at this point and force you to do anything for me. That kind of control and demand is something I would have given after an ample show of desire on your part. No desire? No command, certainly no wantonly cruel domme to tickle you cock and deny you satisfaction.

So basically, I have asked for a simple show of want. If you have failed for whatever reason, lack of chemistry, finding my situation too unbearable or whatever assumptions you have made, then fine. Consider the slate wiped clean and you can have my well wishes on your search. Good luck to you. I wish you well. ~LA

My status as owned should be addressed more formally. Yes, I have mentioned it, but there seems to be the occasional issue with what that means to the overall dynamic. So here goes:

1. I am first and foremost an owned slave.

   This does not detract from my ability to dominate except in terms of his wishes. These wishes will be addressed as in any other D/s negotiation. The dynamics between Master and I are built on a strong foundation of love, trust, and mutual joy. All these things will be taken into account.

2. There will be a power structure based on my ownership.

   If I were to own a female the chain of command would be absolute. I own her, he owns me, he owns all. This is not the case with the male submissive. Master does not wish to own a male, but will seek to prevent his own ownership to be compromised.

   Establishing this will probably vary on the personality of the male submissive. I imagine some men will come to this with the idea of equality with Master. There can be equality outside of the D/s dynamic, but inside, it will not be absolute. It will blur and may become confusing. This will be a time for much discussion.

Anyone coming to me will have to look into themselves and find if they are capable of such things and also understand that if we removed the D/s aspect of the entire thing, the overall issue would still be there. You as a male, are respecting another male's right to his woman.

Basically, this is a two pronged item, a D/s one and a poly one. We are poly experienced and are ready to deal with such things, but those of you who are not need to look within yourselves and see if you can find a spark in you that will allow this dynamic to occur within the realms of your slavery.

I am not asking any of you for an easy submission/slavery. I am asking for the whole of you and a level of trust that you may have not given before. It's a leap of faith, but then many extraordinary occurrences are. Trust me, I have known joys beyond my wildest dreams.

Be well,

~Lady Adora

I am finding the search amusing. It hasn't been so long since I've dealt with finding a person to suit my lifestyle needs that I should forget the trials of it.

There is of course, the lack of others fully reading a profile. I find this annoying, but what can I do? Oh, yes I can ask the submissive to place a phrase to be inserted into his e-mail to me. Seems neccesary for most, but how annoying is that? I have to teach respect from the get go?

Never would I have handled my search for a Master in this way, never.

I am also finding that some male subs/slaves are just pushy. This is what initially put me off of my initial explorations years ago. I do not wish to be topped from the bottom or simply used as a fuck toy by my slave. I am this for my Master and have no room for it otherwise.

Yes, I am “new” to dominance as a practioner of it, but I am not new to it. Nor am I new to the protocols of the D/s lifestyle. I hope those contacting me do not confuse my “Switch” status with the inability to get it, or should I say to “fucking” get it?

Perhaps that's not so eloquently put, but I reserve the right to speak as I wish, elegantly or with the harshest words I choose to let fall, spit or rage from my lips.

In any case, these are my late night thoughts as I peruse the contacts I have made over the last few days. Do not get me wrong, there are jewels I have found and there is potential in almost anything. I will be patient however because I want this to work. I will choose the slave that can be patient, do as I say, be respectful, be willing to learn, be honest, communicte fully and mesh into my life. It's quite simple actually, if all just follow the damn rules. : ) ~LA

It's been a few days since I started my search for a male slave. It's been interesting to come across so many men in so little time. The numbers have allowed me to refine my questions as it once did when I was a submissive looking for an owner; those time seem so long ago.

It is amazing really. I met Master six years ago and the ride has been wild and has led to so many great things. We've always been poly, but this will be the first time I will have my own slave. I had brought up my need for dominance in the early stages of our relationship, but it always leaned toward females. I would still like to own a female, but with our dynamic I know that Master would always be the true owner of any female slave in our family.

So, I talked about my need to have something that was just mine. After some time, I came to the conclusion that I wanted a male slave. Master was unsure of such a thing at first, but we are honest, open communicators and our concerns were discussed and dealt with to the capacity they could be. I am sure issues will arise with any new members to our circle, but this is understandable and anyone who seeks a relationship with me will have to be able to withstand honest communication; it's truly the only way polyamory can work.

I also need my future slave to know that I am currently recovering from surgery and that things will move along the requirements of my recovery. The timing of surgery and searching is a bit off, but in some ways it will be good. It will slow the pace of the search and the patient slave who is willing to get to know me will be the one kneeling at my feet. The fly by night slave looking for just any domme to top them will have moved on.

Also. I am a large woman who is losing weight. If size bothers you, there is no need to waste any of our time. ~LA