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I'm trying to be a good slave. I'm trying to be obedient and responsive and anticipatory. I'm trying to be in control of my own emotions so that I can avoid being willful and contrary and ... well, bitchy.
And I keep hearing Yoda in my head. "Do, or do not. There is no try."
Time for me to step up and just 'do'
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Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, You would not understand
This is not how I am |
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Paraphrased from Daddycravesu ' s journal: A slave trusts her Master enough to give up all control to Him knowing He will do nothing less than what is best for her. |
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Michael Jackson's "Beat It" is stuck in my head. I feel like I should be moonwalking. |
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watched a tennis match yesterday. It occurred to me that the ball boys have an ultimately submissive job. They spend the majority of their time on their knees, they have to act on a moment's notice, and they are expected to remain quiet and invisible until they're needed. That's pretty cool. |
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A former Dom of mine got married last night. I wish them well. Truly. But a part of me really wants to email her the phone number of a good divorce attorney. She's going to need it. |
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Are there any naval types out there than can explain the difference between a Captain and a Master? (As in vessels, not BDSM! :) ) |
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I can't sleep. I'm pondering non-sexual service and wondering if anybody here would even be interested in something like that. I doubt it. But that's not why I can't sleep. |
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I wonder how many people can recite the Preamble to the Constitution. Of those who can, how many can do so without singing the Schoolhouse Rock version?
"We the people ..." |
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I can't believe it is September already. |
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Every now and then I stumble across something that just shoots straight in and grabs hold of my heart. It can be a piece of art. A poem or work of fiction. A sunset.
Tonight, it is music. It is so beautiful and powerful that I can barely catch my breath. My heart is bleeding, but the music has given me a desperately needed release.
Thank you, Brian Cachia. |
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Some people cling so tightly to their fears that they will never be free. I find that to be very sad. |
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There is something very deep about kneeling at the feet of a Master.
Just the privilege of resting your cheek against his thigh is ... bliss.
I dont think Masters really understand it. |
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I've never experienced outdoor play in the rain. Hmm The idea intrigues me. |
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"I love you," he said. It was a lie, and I was stupid enough to believe him. It's MY fault, and I have to bear the consequences. |
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If you WANT to be with another male, or wear womens clothing, or whatever, then how can it be forced? |
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It's sad when a relationship ends. It's pathetic when a relationship dies because one party is too weak to try to save it. Now I test the commitment alone. |
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The man in the back said "Everyone attack!" And it turned into a ballroom blitz. And the girl in the corner said "Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz." Ballroom blitz. |
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I just have to say: There's something really sexy about a man wearing a metal cock ring. |
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Stevie Wonder performed 'Superstition' on Sesame Street back in 1973. How freakin' cool is that?? |
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Two phrases from today's journals. 1) Douche canoe. 2) "Got my hair did" (this from a self-proclaimed domme).
I'm still laughing. Thank you! |
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I worked at a high end hotel years ago, and one of my duties was to drive guests around. I never considered that a submissive service, but lately I think it would be amazing. A slave chauffeur. Yeah, I like that. |
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Ah, to be hypnotized. To feel that floating sensation as you fall down into the safest place you've ever known ... I miss that. But maybe it was never real at all. |
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I've never read The Little Prince. Lately, it has been popping up in random places. I'm thinking it us time I experience this piece of literature. |
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Sometimes you get sucker-punched. And all you can do is double over and clutch your belly. But eventually you will straighten up again. And when you do, you're a different, better person. |
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I am so hurt right now. Why are people so cruel? |
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Life would be so much better if people could only just be honest with themselves. |
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So if you've had a tubal ligation and can't reproduce, you're not a female? Interesting. |
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Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. |
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What the heck is "deion"? |
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That bouncy-titted little girl on the exit page is going to have very saggy breasts in a few years. I wonder if she knows that? |
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And it gets even better!
"(Men) need to express power and dominance over another person in order to prove their worth to themselves ... He needs to be violent in a sexual way in order to make himself feel better. He uses sex as a weapon."
Really? Wow.
Just wow. |
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From the textbook, to be on the exam tomorrow:
"It is a myth that women receive some pleasure - often seen as akin to sexual pleasure - when she is beaten by the man she loves. Studies indicate that no woman reports any pleasure in the beating."
Really? No woman? Gee, nobody asked me. :)
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It's like standing on the edge of a cliff with the entire world spread out before you, just waiting to exhale. |
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It occurred to me today that I don't particularly like the people I'm forced to be with for the next two weeks. I think I need an attitude adjustment. |
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I can't sleep. This is going to be one long, difficult day. I need a hug. |
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Leaving in an hour for a three week job assignment. I'm not looking forward to it. Wish me luck. |
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Today is my Master's birthday! He doesn't want any special deal over it. I will obey, of course. Right after I post this. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MASTER!! |
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Even my 100% vanilla friend calls it the Pretty Red Dungeon now. :) |
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Apparently, every male here either has a needle dick or it is 8.5" long.
Interesting. Whatever happened to reality? |
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You know, when you're drunk or stoned and write a journal entry, you're really nowhere near as erudite as you think you are. |
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I want to slap someone. A nice, hard, open handed slap right across the face.
No, I'm not angry or frustrated. I just want to know how it feels.
Hmmm. Latent Domme tendencies coming to light? :)
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Someone mentioned Dick Cosplay in a journal.
Oh, the mental images! I'm still laughing. Thank you! |
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Stolen from the journal of Master Panache without his knowledge or permission (it's just too good not to share):
"It's too late to go back and make a 'brand new start' but from today you can start to make a 'brand new ending'." |
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There should be a check box for "Cat Person" or "Dog Person" on the profile. It might save people some time. |
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When things are not going well in my life, a good sign is that I stop listening to music. For the last four hours, I have been immersed in my favorites and sobbing my heart out. It is rather cathartic, which surprised me.
I know I am going to be okay. The music always shows me where I've been and where I'm going. I just need to remember to keep listening. |
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Please tell me I wasn't THAT naive and silly when I was in my 20's. Please. |
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How can you "love" Musical Theatre" and "hate" Show Tunes? |
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The cat is snoring. I am amused. |
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If you're taking a selfie in your bathroom mirror and you're fully clothed, what's the point? Wouldn't it be better to ask a friend to take it for you? I mean, it's not like you're naked or something weird. |
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I admit, I'm surprised. I was expecting poachers, but I haven't had one single message along those lines. Thank you. I'm actually impressed. |
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