- The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Female Switch, 30,  Rohnert Park, California
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KylariParadox - photo 1
KylariParadox - photo 2
KylariParadox - photo 3

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Dick is abundant and low value. I dont want yours.

If you wouldnt say it to my face in front of your mother, dont say it to me in your opening message.

Im looking for interesting, platonic conversations with interesting folk.

I identify as gender fluid. My pronouns are they them

Im not here to be made to feel uncomfortable by those who arent bright enough to treat me like a fellow human being.

No small talk! Especially not how are you. Answer one of the following questions instead, or come up with your own. Please use coherent sentences!

- What is your favorite movie quote? Why that one?

- If you could get coffee with any fictional character, who would it be and what would you talk about?

- Where do you find your magic?

I identify as asexual, which means kinks are NOT something Im willing to discuss with strangers. End of discussion.

Your opinion on my looks is worthless and actively discouraged.

We are NOT in a dynamic, do not force one on me.

I dont use titles, and do not want to hear them from you, so no Miss, Mistress, Lady, or other. My name is Kylari. Use that.

I am not looking here for anything, other than interesting conversations! I am NOT looking for partners.

I am convinced I am actually dating my cats.

In my non-pervy life I am many things including, but not limited to - Browncoat

- Writer

- A Farm Kid - Rainbow Hunter (Literally)

- WriterEditor - Trekkie - Incredibly silly - Have WAY too much imagination - A closet nudist - Addicted to colorfulhappy socks - In love with my freckles - A bookworm

- A bit of a chatterbox - A firm believer in scented bubble baths and torn jeans... but not at the same time.

Im always on the look out for other people to geek out with and discuss trivia from a variety of showsbooksfandoms including, but not limited to


-Star Trek (TNG DS9)


-Lie to Me

-Harry Potter


-Dr. Who

-Once Upon a Time

-Tinkerbell and the Fairy movies 3


- The 100












 Female Switch

 Rohnert Park 


 6' 0"

 170 lbs






Actively Seeking:


 Lives For:

 You worshiping my breasts

 Disciplining you with a cane

 You massaging me for hours

 Hair Pulling

 Spanking you


 Cross Stitch


 Intellectual Discourse




 Coffee Shops

 Flea Markets

 Going to the Opera




 You worshiping my body

 Tying you up

 You wearing my collar


 Feminizing you

 Mental Bondage

 Board Games


 Horror Movies

 Puzzle Games

 Science Fiction




 Paranormal Phenomena


 Nineties Music


 Pop Music

 Rock Music

 Show Tunes





 Amusement Parks

 Antique Shows

 Garage Sales

 Musical Theater






 Blindfolding you

 You doing all of the housework

 Massage (Giving)

 Going to munches

 Deciding what you wear

 You servicing me with your mouth

 Role Playing

 Card Games

 Simulation Games

 True Crime

 Web Surfing

 Body Art







 Lifestyle BDSM

 Alternative Music

 Blue Grass


 Classical Music

 Eighties Music

 Opera Music


 Punk Rock Music



 Seventies Music




 Erotic touch



 Online Chatrooms

 Role Playing Games

 Romance Novels






 Country Music

 Electronica / EDM

 EMO Music

 Folk Music


 Heavy Metal Music

 Industrial Music

 New Age Music

 New Wave


 Curious About:

 Art Galleries

 Renaissance Faires




 Corner Time


 Electrical Play


 Local BDSM Community

 Fire Play



 Masks (Wearing)

 Obedience Training

 Orgasm Control


 Maid / Butler Service

 Outdoor Bondage


 Plastic Wrap Bondage

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Public Play

 Rubber Fetish

 Sensory Play




 Suspension Bondage

 Vacuum Stimulation

 Wax Play






 Arcade Games

 Comedy Shows

 Historical Shows


 Online RPGs



 Hip Hop Music



 Bar Hopping


 Fine Dining





 TV News

 TV Sports




 Working Out

 Hard Limits:



 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Genital Punishment

 Foot Worship



 Sensation Play

 Shaving my pubic hair

 Speech Restrictions

 The Silent Treatment




 1950s Lifestyle

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Journal Entries:
12/7/2016 5:06:11 PM

What is your favorite fantasy?
I was asked this recently. A fair question I suppose, and one I'm asking on a semi-regular basis. I've just never been able to answer it. About time I took a shot at this.

When I've asked people about their favorite fantasies a lot of the time they launch into this epic thriller involving Meghan Fox and a wading pool full of jello to wrestle in (strawberry of course), and often a duck watching from the corner. More power to you for having such a clear visual of what you want! Seriously, you are way ahead of me.

My fantasies aren't visual, in fact, there is rarely if ever a visual component to my fantasies.
I fantasize about the feeling of your fingers tracing along my back, the warm prickle of your stubbly cheek against the back of my neck.
I fantasize about the scent of you in my bed, smelling you on my pillow.
I fantasize about what you taste like when you kiss me, the taste of your skin when I bite your shoulder.
I fantasize about your heart beat, your breath against my skin.
I fantasize about the tiny intake of breath when I touch you, the way fire follows your fingertips down my stomach.
I fantasize about every touch, every scent, every sound, every moment... But I can't see anything.

Apparently all of my fantasies involve me being blindfolded...
Maybe I am just not as visual as I like to think I am...

Either way, I hope that answers that question.

9/15/2016 7:18:51 PM
Ignoring someone's profile proves beyond a shadow of a doubt one of two things: either A: you are too lazy to read my profile. In which case there is no reason why I should waste my time on you. Or B: You read it and ignored it because your wants are more important than my boundaries. That makes you dangerous, untrustworthy and possibly a rapist; after all, they have the same mentality.

4/17/2016 12:26:57 PM
I'm not looking for partners. I don't see the point really, I'm too busy with the new business I started. However, I have learned over the years that if I write it all down, and get it out into the universe, its a lot more likely to happen.

He is at least 6 feet tall, so he can look me in the eyes.
He smokes too, and doesn't judge me for it, but instead smokes with me.
He understands the need for protocol that I feel.
He respects me as a person, and understands the boundaries I have are there for a reason.
He loves coffee, Star Trek, and sushi.
He understands the cathartic value of impact play.
He enjoys writing for its own sake.
He shares my brand of humor.

2/27/2016 6:10:57 PM

"i just wana rape that tight ass" I'm a survivor of not one rape, but multiple rapes by multiple men.

"Why don't u meet me tonite? Ill show you a good time." My last date ended with him ripping my shirt open in the middle of Starbucks, and no, that's the opposite of my idea of a good time.

"Nasty bitch!" We had just been talking about how I was literally in the middle of an emotional break down. Way to be a supportive fucking friend.

"u just need a real man to fuck u right" Frankly I don't disagree, I do disagree with you being that man.

"I would do such nasty shit to that pussy" What pussy? OH! You mean the one that isn't in ANY FUCKING PICTURE I HAVE UP?

What all these comments have in common is that the person who said it immediately backtracked and said it was just a joke. This shit isn't funny. That is why I've given up looking for that special someone, because its not worth my sanity. Why is threatening to rape someone ever funny? Or kidnapping? I had one guy threaten to rape the children he planned to father on me.
There is NO tone on the internet. You WILL be believed, even if its just by someone like me, who should know better than to be anywhere near the freaking internet when I feel this fragile.
Rape culture has people like me trapped. I've been raped by 5 different men. Think about that for a minute. My body has only been 'My own' for a couple years. Not because of kink or any positive reason, but because I was never allowed bodily autonomy, not by my family, not by my boyfriends, hell not even most of my friends. Its only the last few years that I've realized that my body is MINE.
I honestly thought men were -supposed- to write shit like what is above. I thought sex was something women gave to the people who demanded it or just wanted it. Or even the people she thought should like her. I've only been sexually attracted to three people in my life! And yet my 'score' is pretty damned high.
I'm sick of the bullshit. I'm sick of butthurt asswipes bitching that it was only a joke. Its only a joke if I get to out YOUR sister at work. Its only a joke if I get to rape YOUR mother. Or trap your daughter in a kitchen surrounded by drunken shits who are all hands. After all, if its only a joke when it happens to me then it should still qualify as a joke if I do it to you.

2/26/2016 2:37:08 PM

My screen saver

I finally remembered to link my 'Awesome pictures' folder to my screensaver. So now the currently 2500 pictures slowly drop into a pile like leaves or playing cards. Generally you can clearly see maybe a dozen different pictures, with more falling every 30 seconds or so. I love this format. It makes me think of mash-ups in a way.

These pictures cover a lot of ground. Pictures of misty mountain tops, and coral on the ocean bottom; pictures of Disney princesses, and Totoro; pictures of tattoos, and furniture. Sherlock is there, and Mal, Zoe and the rest of the crew. Sam and Dean, Matt Smith, David Tennant, Calvin and Hobbs, Winnie the Pooh. Pictures of my pets, and even a couple of me. Cross sections of grapefruit, corsets and heels, water fountains. Abstract landscapes, animals of every type that could qualify as cute and may possibly have a good side. Women I admire, authors I can't put down, quotes I want to remember, pop culture moments I don't want to forget, patterns for scarves, sweaters and recipes. Alan Rickman, Johny Depp, Vanellope, two snails using mushrooms as umbrellas... or maybe swords. Pictures people have created which defy definition. Birds that swim and fish that fly.

But the longer I watch the more a clear pattern appears: If its a picture of a human it will be a strong/beautiful/talented/well-tattooed feminine human, doing something active and impressive, quite possibly wearing something I wish I was wearing, or a generally mostly clad masculine human smoking, reading a book, drinking coffee or laughing. The females outnumber the males about 45 to 1. I have literally hundreds of pictures of doors, gates, tunnels, portals of varying styles. I also collect beds and bathtubs. Almost half of these pictures involve Disney princesses in some way. There are a lot of nudes, but most of them do not qualify as 'sexy', but they are fascinating studies of texture, of light vs shadow, of the human condition.

This collection inspires me, strengthens me, gives me hope, and keeps me grateful. Its my daily reminder to myself that magic is real, and that -we- create it. Some days that is all that keeps me going in this mad world we have to live in. Some days I watch the news, or read the paper and am horrified at the way human beings treat each other, on the small scale we mug, rape, manipulate and lie. On a huge scale we are blind to the simple fact that we are ALL HUMANS, regardless of color, flavor or belief. Some days that is all I can see.

Sitting here, watching these pictures slowly pile up, strengthens me. I am reminded that it may be harder to see sometimes, but there is just as much good in the world as bad. Everyone needs to be reminded some times.

2/18/2016 10:03:24 AM

When I was younger I saw sex as a form of communication, of comfort, of love and of trade.
The people I slept with were mainly friends, as opposed to lovers (though I did occasionally find someone who I considered a lover). I slept with people for all kinds of reasons: Because they wanted it, because they were having a hard time and needed the comfort and support, because I thought that's what was expected of me, and, of course, because it never occurred to me that I could say no.
But that isn't what I wanted to talk about.
To me, Demi-sexual means its all about the emotional connection I feel for someone and, more importantly, the connection they feel for me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy pert behinds, people flexing their muscles and a good smoldering look... but it isn't what gets my mortar running.

Walking hand in hand, letting him steer me around obstacles
Watching him grin over his book while I make him coffee
Geeking out together about AHS, Psych, Supernatural or whatever show we are watching
Playing a board game together
Singing along together to the radio in the car
Shopping together at the grocery store and watching him sneak my favorite cookies into the basket when he thinks I'm not looking.
Watching him get angry on my behalf, FOR THE SAME REASON I'm angry (This is something I've only ever experienced one time, not with one lover mind you, one time, ever.)
Knowing that if I go to him, upset, he will help me, not make it my fault, not ignore it, not scream

Someone who understands that, for me, sex is the worst way to get to know someone. I want someone who understands my deep and abiding love of Dollhouse. Who sees how much effort I put into my coloring. Who understands that sex isn't the foundation, its the glue!

This means I find NSA the opposite of appealing, FWB is something I've done in the past, but it doesn't meet my needs now. Casual literally doesn't exist in my brain. If I'm sleeping with you its NOT casual.

(Cross Posted from my vanilla blog)

1/17/2016 4:21:58 PM
5 years.
5 long years full of fear, pain and abuse. He thought he was a Dom. I knew he was a lost little boy, trying to control his world. I did my best for him, waited for the day when he realized that his needs were not the only ones that mattered; for the day when he realized that charging me, nude, with the sharpest knife in the house was never okay, no matter how angry he is; waiting for the day when my kinks were worth exploring; the day when my thoughts mattered.
Believe it or not that day did come, but not until I left, broken and bleeding from the inside out. Not until I turned my back on him did he finally realize that the world is bigger then only him.
Now, two years after that.
I'm alone. I'm frightened. I need help.
But how do I get help? My boundaries have never been respected, or even acknowledged by my family, my friends, or my lovers. Trying to lay them out now means tears, anger, shouting, by people who don't understand why I think I should fucking matter. Certainly never on the internet is ANYTHING respected.
This is what I wish for:
For someone who sees and accepts my boundaries. Who thinks I'm enough, all by myself. Someone who can give me the safety net that I've never had and so desperately need. Someone who needs to be taken care of too. I want help and to give help.

Hopefully now that this is out in the universe maybe my Daddy can finally find me.

6/3/2015 4:25:41 PM

Time marches on, the way it tends to do. As I grow and evolve I've determined a fairly realistic view of what I'm looking for: in life, in love and the future.

I want to make coffee for Him every morning. I want Him to wake up with a smile just for me. I want His gentle guidance in every aspect of my day. I want to follow Hid directions, have a comprehensive list of protocols and rules, spend my time making sure that I am just what is wanted. I want to kiss Him goodbye before He leaves for work every morning, and greet Him with His favorite drink every evening. I want to keep His home clean and inviting, and maybe coax Him into helping me cook dinner.
I want a man who loves to read, who can appreciate and verbalize the significance of thoughts, of characters, of life. Someone who will challenge me, as I challenge Him. I want a man who can and will get inside my head. Who will connect with me on that deep profound level that transcends words.
Someone who clicks with my kinks as I click with His. Who laughs at my jokes, because they ARE funny. Someone who gives me ways to prove myself, and really sees me in all my muted glory. Someone who makes me feel like enough, just as I am, with no additions, but who also helps me work on myself, and become even better everyday.
Someone who wants to settle down and have a family. Someone who loves my cats. Someone who values hard work, getting dirty and climbing trees (or whatever your personal symbol of freedom is.)
Someone who can and WILL communicate His moods, who will talk to me, seek out my company sometimes. Who is willing to work as hard as I will to make this a strong, lasting meeting of mind, hearts and spirits...

3/31/2015 3:49:03 PM
Painting my new place today. I'm enjoying watching it take shape around me.
What is your favorite part of moving?'
Mine is shelving all my books.

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