My last profile entry replaced with my current one---------------------------------------------------------------------
There seems to be an inherent aspect of life that results in change and it only seems fitting that my profile should reflect this. The following profile is a change from the one I have had for quite sometime. You can find my original profile in my journal.
I have often expressed that the lifestyle and life in general is like a jewel. It’s a jewel that has endless facets that each of us view from our own persona l perspective. Each of us has our own perspectives of life and in appreciating other facets we can grow in a better understanding of this lifestyle and life. The following is a glimpse of my facet.
There are many aspects of the lifestyle that appeal to me. I have embraced or entertained much of the various avenues available. However, the “Lifestyle” is only a portion of “my” lifestyle. I am not just a Master, Top and Sadist to my girls; I am also partner, friend, confidant, lover, teacher and advisor to them as well. My girls are also not the only relationship of importance to me; I am also parent, son, friend, supervisor, employee in other relationships of significance in my life. My life and lifestyle is as complex as it is simple. Complex in that it is diverse and varied, simple in that I see my path with clarity and focus.
The primary relationship in my lifestyle is that which exist between me and my two girls, alandra and kyra. We live a Master/slave authority structure with me as the Master. It’s a structure in which the authority of all decisions is transferred to me from my girls. It’s a structure in which decisions by my girls are authority delegated to them from me. Our relationship is about the growth and empowerment of the whole and not one individual within it. Having authority does not equate to this relationship being all about me. With the authority comes the responsibility to make decisions for the betterment of the whole. We three are one… and the one is US.
As a Power Enhancing Relationship it is critical that there is a foundation from which all growth and the empowerment can originate from. Like the great oak tree that needs the right soil in which to grow and spread its roots, so do we need the right foundation to grow our relationship?
It is my view that an important foundation block is one’s relationship with self. A stable healthy relationship with self will lend its strength to the external relationships that the self has with others. A person that is unable to have value and responsibility of them self will not be contributing to the growth of a relationship. Instead, they will be a drain to its existence. A person with a healthy relationship with self will also strive to be the best they can be. It is this drive that creates strong character that becomes another foundation block to a Power Enhancing Relationship.
A person of strong character will bring much to a relationship. It is my thought process that an individual that strives to be the best they can be is on a path of being a virtuous person. I consider a virtuous person as one that strives for the abstract qualities of moral excellence that are manifested thru character strengths into demonstrated behaviors. The abstract qualities that I see are of greatest importance is courage, justice, humanity, temperance, transcendence and wisdom. There are countless strengths of character that speak to these abstract qualities to one degree or another. Some strength’s are actual representations of more than just one of the qualities. By constantly working on building these character strengths and enhancing our personal self, we are being more successful in demonstrating the behaviors that are representative of these character strengths.
These character demonstrations will have a positive effect on our intimate relationships.
We look upon a virtuous person with trust and respect as the results of their continued efforts to be a better person. Being a better person is also a reflection of integrity as one must be honest with self in order to achieve in improving oneself. This is also reflective of “Courage”. I also believe that trust and respect are also the result of other fundamental character strengths such as forgiveness and modesty, as well as love and kindness. One can also gain respect and trust from their display of character strengths of prudence and self-control. What it is that gains a person’s trust and respect is an important measure of ones demonstrated behaviors that are reflective of the strengths of character that we admire and identify with, whatever they maybe Thus a journey of character building of self will manifest itself in a healthy relationship with others.
As indicated previously, our relationship is about US and not just one of us. I believe that reciprocity is key foundation block to a successful relationship. In essence this is the understanding and acceptance between those in the relationship that there is a state of being mutually dependent upon the influence of one another. This is not to say that we become dependent on one another, but we are interdependent in gaining a fulfilling life with each other. This is to say that I affect you… and you affect me! That you are significant to me in my life and I am to you! This is more than personal needs/wants derived from one self. But, these are the very needs/wants that derive because of the very functioning of the relationship. We each create these wants/needs from each other by the very essence of being in each other’s life.
Lastly is having Effective Interactions. In my thought process, each time we are doing something we speak to the relationship. We send signals of its value and importance to us. These interactions do not need to be direct, for often the indirect manners can be just as constructive or destructive to a relationship. It is not enough to just speak to each other but must also be aware of the message we are communicating to each other by our actions! We keep the flow of interactions going so that the proper perception is understood by our partner; the proper message being understood makes it effective.
The foundations that I have spoken of are a fundamental aspect to my relationship with alandra and kyra. Because of these fundamentals alandra I have been successful in maintaining a rewarding and fulfilling relationship since summer of 1987 and we expect many years in our future. Alandra and I have been active in a poly lifestyle since the winter of 2000. It has been an interesting road in those first few years, but it has been these last couple years in particular that we have become to find our greatest fulfillment. Kyra has been a part of our life since the fall of 2004. Since that time the three of us have been experiencing a sense of joy and happiness that does not compare to anything in our past.
I hope you appreciate in reading my profile that my relationships are of the greatest importance to me. Maybe my next revision I will share some of the fun I enjoy *Evil Grin*.