I got the new job..I will working as an inbound call tech. Yup you got it I am a geek lol. After going through training I will actually get to wear a pair of kaki slacks, dress shoes and a black polo shirt that says Geek Squad LOL...yes I have told SexyPrincess I will have lil bobbins take a picture when I get my uniform on (glasses and all) to post for all to see me in my full Geekiness. lol

I am nervous, scared shitless (for lots of reasons)..

This is my first full time job since I transitions

I am still going to school full time and am behind in school right now (like way behind) - can I work and catch up in school?

I will lose my SSI (my secerity blanket)

I am terrified of being homeless again (been so three times already in my life).

BUT, I am excited..over joyed..I will have a job..a job which will provide me with a living (what living it will provide right now part time and only making a bit over what I make on SSI..but hey it is more). I can be more self sufficant. It is before Yule..perhaps I can actually afford some presents..I can afford to start paying off some bills, more then I have been. I can maybe afford to start getting some of my prints mounted and ready for showing ..then actually start submitting some of my work into local art shows!! I can acutlly be an artist again!

Down the road perhaps I can even get a car again..that would be nice.

So, yes I am scared out of my mind...but I am more excited and happy....I actually got hired and had less trouble with this interview then I have ever had in my life. I felt more confident, more assure of myself...It Felt GOOD!

I have decided I need someone who is good at research and writing papers to help me get caught up in school. I am so far behind it isn't even close to being funny. The more I work to get caught up the more far behind I fall. Is there any submissive out there who like doing research and writting papers who would like to help a Daddy Dominate out of a bind? If so let me know....

T

Wrote this tonight -- comments are welcomed:

Graceful Dance Of Sex:

Dipping and Swooping, In and out of the clouds of sheets,

Gliding down your skin so softly, Your eyes looking back at me, Bursting forth with flames of passion,

Letting your senses settle a bit, Then soaring high once again, At my every burning touch of desire.

Dipping and Swooping, As I guide your senses on a roller coaster ride, Lightly stroking your soft skin, Feeling my way through the world of wonder.

Ok I found that there is a monthly genderqueer/ women/ trans bdsm SWITCH party at Paddles in NYC and the next one is Aug 21st (information can be found at www.myspace.com/switch). 

I am interested in attending this party as I am an FtM two spirted transman and I am hoping to find someone to go with me.  I would be welling to pay the $10 door fee even if you wish.

I am not asking someone to go as my play partner. I mean if you want to play, we can discuss it, but I am just asking someone to go with me as a friend.

If you live in NYC, going to be in the area during that time, and are interested please let me know.

Got a question about the world of slave hood any question, be it about male slaves, tranny slaves, female slaves, you name it? I probably have the answer! This is hawkboi’s unofficial world of slave questions and answers for anyone who might wish to get their questions answered by someone who has been both Dominate and submissive, but now has been living as a full time contracted slave for a year and a half. I also have schooling in psychology and cultural studies so if I don’t know the answer I will do my best to get you the answer! If you have a question for me send it to hawkboi at trinitysdesigns@hotmail.com or right here on Collar me.

Ok keep your fingers crossed I entered some of my photos and some of my paintings and even a couple of my digital paintings into a contest.

Here are the ones I entered - let me know what you think:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinitysdesignspho

tos/3483425722/sizes/o/ (Mother Earth's Love) -

this one is done totally digital and will

adventually be a spray paint piece on large

canvus or wood.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinitysdesignspho

tos/460788481/in/set-72157594563663334/ (Gossip

Mongrel - my mom named this one)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinitysdesignspho

tos/3483423706/sizes/o/in/set-72157594563663334

/ (sold three of these as poster already..very

happy with this one)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinitysdesignspho

tos/3483424358/sizes/o/in/set-72157594563663334

/
(Done totally digitally - it is my alter ego)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinitysdesignspho

tos/3482608377/in/set-72157594563663334/
(photograph titled - "Peek-a-boo" was taken on

my fire escape in the winter..looking down onto

the neighbors below at their lil plant that was

decorated for christmas.)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinitysdesignspho

tos/3482610207/in/set-72157594563663334/
(another photograph - taken through a window,

you can see if you look to the right corner two

ghostly apperations making themselves visable

in the glass.)

Been working on my mother's eulogy..here is what I have so far:

Thank you all -- for coming to remember my mother’s life.
 
I would like to share a little of who my mother was before the monster called Cancer took over her life, took over all our lives.  Of course, nobody suffered more than my mother, but Cancer is a monster that leaves no one untouched.

I love to remember my mother when she was full of life, and cracking jokes. Like the time when I was 12 and we had gone for a walk in the rain to get slushies.  As we were walking back I was chatting away, and wasn’t paying attention as usual, when a large SUV went zoom by and spraying a huge puddle right towards us.  My mother ducked and just as she ducked she yelled watch out. So, as I turned to ask her why I got smacked with a large tidal wave of water.  We both started to laugh and continued our walk home, with me swearing revenge someday, which never came.

My mother was born to Virgil and Ella in Sullivan, ILL, in 1938 and lived a very full filling life, even though she made many sacrifices, including working late into the nights and getting up early in the mornings to make sure she brought home enough money to pay the bills and get for her children what they needed.  She taught us there is a difference between what we need and want.

I’m glad my sister Debbie and her son Curtis could make it here today, along with my two daughters who lived with and took care of my mom for five months before the monster got a hold of her. Dwayne my mother’s only sibling was unable to make it today, but I know the news of his sister’s death has hit him hard.

In the 50’s mom was part of a dance troop and loved rock and roll. The love for rock and roll never subsided. I was often the one telling my daughter or my mother to please turn the music down.  She even passed on Monday night while listening to AC-DC one of her favorite rock and roll bands.

Perhaps the thing I’ll remember my mother most for, however, is how she loved unconditionally. She loved each one of her kids openly and honestly, but never turned one of them away when they showed up at her door. She would just welcome us in with a hug and food if we needed it. My mother was a very friendly and sweet lady who would open her door to anyone in need.  She once told me “you rescue the “stray animals” and I will rescue the “stray people”.

This past couple of months I found myself facing the cycle of life with my mother.  She even told me during her second stay in the hospital, that she had become the child and I the parent.  I loved the ability to return to her some of what she did for me as I grew up.  Yet, I was so afraid of doing something wrong or not making the right decisions. After all my mother is the one who was always there for me, as my best friend, and mentor to help me make those tough decisions, and now I found myself doing this for her.

She did so much for so many and tried so hard to remain positive about anything that came her way even the monster called Cancer.  I have to ask myself what my mother would want for us right now.  I think she’d want us to heal ourselves and move on. She’d want us to talk with our creator and deal with her death in our own way, but also put her death behind us and live a life that she would be proud of knowing she is with us still. 

I would like to thank all of you for coming here today to help us, as a family, to heal, and to celebrate my mother’s life.

I’d like to leave you all with this quote by Helen Keller and a poem written by me about my mother, Heller Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” 

IF, by the end of her life, my mother ended up touching all of your hearts ----then I ask you, what else can anyone ask for in this world, but to touch people’s hearts. Thank you, Mom, You will be missed beyond words.

Marjorie Louise Raynor-Garrett, 70, of Dunkirk, NY, passed away at the Chautauqua County Home on Monday April 20, 2009 after a courageous battle with lung cancer.

Marjorie was born on July 11, 1938 in Sullivan, Illinois, to Ella and Virgil Cox. Marjorie was a published writer and worked for News Leader in Guthrie, Oklahoma and the Post-Journal in Jamestown, NY, among many other jobs since she was 15 years old.

She donated her time to such causes as the United Way and abused women's shelters. Marjorie was one to take in "stray people off the street" and give them a place to stay until they got back on their feet.

Marjorie was widowed by her husband and preceded in death by her mother and father. Marjorie was also preceded in death by her daughter Janella Garrett, son Kenneth Wallace, and one unborn child.

Marjorie is survived by her son, Trinton Garrett; daughter, Deborah Brown, and six grandchildren, AnnLouise Fuller, Kimberly Brown, Curtis Brown, Jared Wallace, Adam Wallace, and Catt Cosme, plus many

friends who loved her dearly. Marjorie will be missed beyond words.

There will be no prior visitation. A memorial service will be held on Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 10:00 AM in St. Elizabeth Ann Seton RC Church Dunkirk, At 1:00 PM, in Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church, West 6th St. Dunkirk, her family will be

hosting a pot luck celebration of her life. All whose life has been touched by Marjorie are encouraged to attend and share your remembrances of Marjorie and help us celebrate her life. Arrangements are entrusted to the Gardinier-Colletti Memorial Home, Dunkirk. To send an e-condolence log onto www.clingerfuneralhomes.co

Marjorie Louise Raynor-Garrett, 70, of Dunkirk, NY, passed away at the Chautauqua County Home on Monday April 20, 2009 after a courageous battle with lung cancer.

Marjorie was born on July 11, 1938 in Sullivan, Illinois, to Ella and Virgil Cox. Marjorie was a published writer and worked for News Leader in Guthrie, Oklahoma and the Post-Journal in Jamestown, NY, among many other jobs since she was 15 years old.

She donated her time to such causes as the United Way and abused women's shelters. Marjorie was one to take in "stray people off the street" and give them a place to stay until they got back on their feet.

Marjorie was widowed by her husband and preceded in death by her mother and father. Marjorie was also preceded in death by her daughter Janella Garrett, son Kenneth Wallace, and one unborn child.

Marjorie is survived by her son, Trinton Garrett; daughter, Deborah Brown, and six grandchildren, AnnLouise Fuller, Kimberly Brown, Curtis Brown, Jared Wallace, Adam Wallace, and Catt Cosme, plus many

friends who loved her dearly. Marjorie will be missed beyond words.

There will be no prior visitation. A memorial service will be held on Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 10:00 AM in St. Elizabeth Ann Seton RC Church Dunkirk, At 1:00 PM, in Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church, West 6th St. Dunkirk, her family will be

hosting a pot luck celebration of her life. All whose life has been touched by Marjorie are encouraged to attend and share your remembrances of Marjorie and help us celebrate her life. Arrangements are entrusted to the Gardinier-Colletti Memorial Home, Dunkirk. To send an e-condolence log onto www.clingerfuneralhomes.co

I am consumed by fire nightly,
My soul being torn apart,
Screaming from moutian high,
Throwing my head back,
Singing to the man in the moon,

As I watch you laying there,
Eyes black and pain filled,
Reaching out to me once the child,
Now the fear filled protector,

Hades' hot silky laugh envades my dreams,
Awakened by an onslaught of sweat drenched fears,
To attack my life at every turn,
Your dream song ending,
Into a pain-embedded sacrificed wish.

I have spent the last two days at my mom's side and decided to write this while she  held my hand and slept today.

As I sit here and watch you sleep, you look like my mother from years past, sadness deep inside, yet always strong, I can almost forget that the woman laying there is dying of Cancer. That you are being eaten from your lungs to your brain by such a horrible monster that you forget from time to time who I am, and struggle for your words.  I miss my mother, the one who was my greatest mentor. Yet, even now you mentor me and teach me how to face death with dignity and as a warrior.  You may struggle to think clearly and to remember who these people are that come to visit but you keep your strength obvious and determined to fight this monster until the very end.  You are my hero!

Was sitting and thinking (what else..these days I do to much of this) and was thinking about my mother and what it will be like when she passes...my soul began to scream out..and this is what came of that scream:


I am consumed by fire nightly,
My soul being torn apart,
Screaming from moutian high,
Throwing my head back,
Singing to the man in the moon,

As I watch you laying there,
Eyes black and pain filled,
Reaching out to me once the child,
Now the fear filled protector,

Hades' hot silky laugh envades my dreams,
Awakened by an onslaught of sweat drenched fears,
To attack my life at every turn,
Your dream song ending,
Into a pain-embedded sacrificed wish.

I am posting this because I need to rant, I have had some really bigoted conversations with classmates and because I had an argument recently with my girlfriend about transgenderism and if it was a "choice" compared to being gay or not.  She says compared to gay (which we all know is not a choice you are born straight, gay, bisexual) transgender you "choose" to make the switch in gender, you choose to take the hormones and have the surgeries to become the gender of your "choice".  

NO! It is NOT a choice!  You are BORN in the wrong body you HAVE to do those things to make your outside fit the inside or you go crazy. The only choice there is in this decision is LIVE OR DIE.  If I hand not of transitioned, then I would have gone insane and my only choice then would of to live my life crazy or to die and hope I would come back with mind and body the same.

Being Transgender is no more a choice then being gay.  I can see how some people might think that taking the hormones or having the surgery is a choice.  I mean I am "choosing" not to have bottom surgery because it is so risky right now for FtM to have it (it just isn't perfected enough).  But, I live every day, every hour, every minute feeling incomplete, and like I don't belong in my OWN body.

Sure I CHOOSE to live my days in a body that doesn't belong to me, I CHOOSE to live in a body that betrays me every month and makes me so fucking sick that I feel like I am dying, I CHOOSE to live like a freak - somewhere in between but no where complete and not good enough to love totally by anyone. 

Sure I have people who say they love me totally but there are parts of me they are uncomfortable with and it is obvious.

Who in their right fucking mind would CHOOSE to live their life like this? So, if you ever are with a transgender person, or at least friends with one, remember -  It ISN"T a choice to be transgender!!!!!

All the signs are there in my life right now that a big change is coming. I don't think the fire is out yet, I am still going to be walking through it, I am still going to need the courage to push myself through and face the barriers that are placed before me and know that I will be changing inside (and already am, I can feel it), it is the unknowing, the waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak that spooks me. 

I just have to remind myself...breath by beath, step by step, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day so shall I make it through the fire.

Whipped

On the Edge:
by Knighthavvk

On the edge,

Tittering oh so close.

The darkness threatening,

Hovering ready to swallow me up.

I want to reach out,

Yet uncertain and scared,

To walk through the fire,

Unsure as to my ending,

Or beginning.

Ode To My Mistress:

Yet my soul has became yours unknowingly.



As our relationship has grown stronger,

And a whole year has come to pass,

I Notice how bonded I have become.

My desire to kneel at your side,

My desire to offer my service,

My desire to be the reason you smile,

All continues to grow ten folds.

I give you my submission upon my knees,

I give you my love openly and willing,

Yet my soul has become yours unknowingly.

So, what do you think? Has GLBTQ or BDSM as an alternative lifestyle become more excepting in today's society or not?

One can not have growth without first walking through the fire and knowing beyond knowing that life and death are happening simultaneously, that we will continue on until we reach the ultimate knowledge.

Many lives are lived for a moment of enlightenment which will lighten the dark, yet if you embrace the darkness and learn to live within it and except it as part of you, true enlightenment comes through you.

my Owner has requested that I read a book titled "Finding Flow, The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life". It is a very interesting book, even though I am only part way through the first chapter, it has me thinking and my mind wondering with each sentence that I read, not only as a person, but as a submissive and Dom in the BDSM lifestyle.

The quote that starts the book out is: "If we really wan to live, we'd better start at once to try; If we don't, it doesn't matter, but we'd better start to die." - W. H. Auden

This along with a couple friends of mine who have given up finding their "perfect" Dom or ever being collared due to not finding one or having a couple leaving their lives, or other people telling them they are not a slave, not a submissive, etc.  I too have been told many times over that I can not be a "true" slave to Jamie if I am a switch and Dom other submissives, that I might be submissive but not a slave. Or that I can not be a "TRUE" Dom for any submissive if I am collared and owned as a slave to another.  This has made me want to do some introspection my own life and that which I was taught in this lifestyle. 

I do believe that the BdSm lifestyle is very much a "lifestyle" not just something we do every so often but part of who we are daily, just like my spirituality is part of who I am, not just something I practice on a day to day basis.  With this in mind how come one person can't be BOTH slave and Dom?  If the relationship between the people involved is consensual, each person involved understands where they stand in said relationship.

The book also talks about how some people feel they are pre-determined to their "destiny", or that their "destiny" and who they "are" is "fixed because of where they were raised, in what race, culture, the community we were raised in, along with many other factors in life. But the truth is we each have a matter called individuality and free well.  We control who we are, where we are going in life, even slaves have this ability unless they are being treated as a doormat (which I have seen this type of relationship before).

If we look out of a window during Winter, we might see thousands of snowflakes which appear to be identical to each other, yet if you take a magnify glass and study them, each one is very individual and no two snow flakes are alike, in fact, each had a shape that no other flake will or can duplicate exactly.  We each one is very much like this analogy because we are individuals; our future is NOT set in stone.  Yes I believe in one's destiny and in a Great entity who created us and perhaps created us for a purpose BUT, s/he also created us with free well and individuality which gives us the ability to change our future as we see fit.

Each decision we make effects not only us but many other people in our past, present and future, as does what other's decided (random chance), and because each one of us have a mind of our own with which s/he can either decided to squander his/her opportunities, or conversely overcome some of the disadvantages we feel we have to face.  We just need to continue living our lives the best we know how, figure out who WE ARE as individuals, and be proud of any decisions you make in life - don't regret them because with out each decisions we can not be who we are in life, and might as well begin to die (as the quote says). 

With this in mind, I was born into a mixed ethnicity house with 4 brothers and sisters who were older then me, our house hold was taught many of our ancestry beliefs and I was raised as a Two Spirited person (No one gender role was forced on me. I was allowed to be who I felt I was inside, despite what doctors said at birth).  Until my mother and father divorced then I was raised and beaten every time I acted masculine and was trained as a slave (with out the sex).  So, one could say that my being a slave was predetermined by the atmosphere I was raised. However, I do not believe this in any form!  I would not go back and change any of the things that wad done to me because YES it did make me who I am today, BUT it also did not lay my destiny out in front of me.  I believe that due to the fact that I have a mind of my own and the flexibility of the human consciousness I have my own ability to decide where I want my life to go and who I am inside.

As much as know I am two spirit , I also I KNOW that inside I lean more towards being Dom and love a submissive or slave to kneel at my feet and be obedient to me and my set protocols, along with other reasons, but I also love being a submissive/slave to the right Domme.  I can and have been both at the same time - just because I am a collared slave to Jamie doesn't mean I can shut off part of who I am (being Dom) and just because I am Dom to someone doesn't mean I can shut off my ability and desire to submit to another.  This is why the word switch was "invented" in this lifestyle for those of us like me who can ride both sides of the fence so to speak. Yes I know some who can't be both, but that is where individuality comes into play.  I can and have been both at the same time. 
 
So, just because you might be told something by someone or you think you know that person well enough to tell them “you can’t be that” or “you can’t do that”.  Think twice and realize that you might not be able to do these things, but it doesn’t mean this person is destined to be the same as you because we can’t be exactly the same as anyone else, as we ARE individuals who are not exactly the same in anyway. But instead listen and acknowledge their individuality , show them respect for their ability to KNOW who they are or are trying to figure that out with out criticism and forcing your own beliefs on the lifestyle on to them.   Yes there might be old guard and new guard “rules and regulations” beliefs etc, but remember this lifestyle is as individual between the people involved as each of us are.

Instead of pushing your ways and thoughts on another INDIVIDUAL and possibly effecting their inner self worth about themselves and/or confusing the shit out of them, how about taking the opportunity to learn their individual thoughts and ways, you might find that you can take parts of what they feel, believe, etc on to yourself and your life, as they can your thoughts and beliefs if THEY so CHOOSE. After all we are the only ones who can make our decisions on who we are, and truly know that answer inside, as well as, make the decision as to how we want to live our lives.

Modern Day Ravens:

With Hades’ hot silky laugh,

I am consumed by fire nightly,

My soul singing to the man in the moon,

Awakening an onslaught of modern day ravens,

To attack my life at every turn,

Turning my dream song,

Into a pain-embedded sacrificed wish.

Until I found you high on the cliffs of solitude,

You awoke my denied desires gently,

Filling my days with animalistic lust,

And my nights with satisfied sighs.

I may not be the most beautiful,

I know am not perfect,

But...

I love total,

I give my all,

I show my love,

With a snap of a whip,

Then a gentle touch,

But…

Always there to protect.

I speak my love,

With words of truth.

I have no secrets,

I tell no lies,

I play no games,

I am who I am.

I well hold your hand,

I might even bind them.

But…

I won't chain your soul.

I well walk with you,

Holding your leash,

But...
I won't hold you back.

This is what I have to offer,

This is what I have to give,

I hope you will take my hand,

I hope you will accept my collar,

and…

Let me be your Master.

Cut To Fit

Twenty and one murdered in a year,

One lit up the air waves like the star she was,

Twenty ignored and hushed away,

Like someone’s dirty laundry.

Some say it’s not that simple.

They lied and deceived us all!

At such a basic level as their gender,

How can we call it murder?

You may think that question is simple.

Are you a boy or a girl?

Sometimes with a single letter. A/S/L?

You ask as if I knew any more than you do!

You ask as if my answer where not,

A life or death decision.

You ask as if I could answer you,

As I believe myself to be.

We’re told we’re girls or boys,

From the days that we are born,

But what if someone got it wrong?

What if someone outright lied?

What most don’t seem to realize,

Is that not long ago doctors rarely asked.
They whisk the newborn away and
claimed, There is a problem with this baby.

Judged with tiny rulers and cut to fit a box.
Some of us were not allowed,

To know just how it was,

That is how were to make a start.

I’m among those cut to fit,

A world so narrow of mind,

That only few would make the room,

For others exactly just like them.

What if there is no gender box that fits,

That baby on it’s way?

Will you let the doctors snip and cut,

Until they say your child will fit into society?

By leather menace © 11-19-04 In Memory of Gwen Araujo One that outshined twenty.

I have updated my profile and my pictures, as well as, uploaded a picture of my birthday tattoo (06-25-08).  So, as soon as it is approved you will be able to see what it looks like.  It represents the fact that I am a switch and my spiritual path also (it has a Tiger's face which is one of my totems).  I am in LOVE with this tattoo and show it off when ever I am able.

I am working on a book and have several photoshoots in the works so I am a busy guy but I still would like to hear from some of you wonderful people so hit me up sometime!

WHOO HOO! Pride weekend is upon us and tomorrow evening we have a birthday party to go to, then Sunday we get to go enjoy the parties after Temptress is out of work Sunday.  (this will be the first Pride weekend that I will miss the parade in the past 5 years but what can you do when work schedules you right?). 


Plus, June 18th I get the first part of my new full arm sleeve tattoo!! Temptress is going to pay for this tattoo as a birthday present (my birthday is the 20th! - It is going to be my ode to the BDSM lifestyle I live as a switch.  I will post a picture after I get it done. 



I can't wait - right now I am down right POOPED from this very busy day I have had but this weekend is going to be a blast and the idea of my next tattoo has me pumped.

Your Owl Perches:

Your owl perches -
Just behind your eyes -
Viewing out -
Silent and waiting.
My tiger paces -

Restless and wanting.
Your owl dove down -
Claws bared -
Beak snapping -
Driving my tiger back.


Your owl calls out to my hawk-
Diving and soaring together -
As our passion grows hot and fiery -
Like the tails of my hawk fiery in the sunlight -

Overtaking our senses -
Connecting our hearts -
Two fiery predators mate -
Love and passion turning the sky red -
Hoping not to shred each other apart.

Thought I would share a short story I wrote:

Having prepared the room, making sure it is cleaned, everything is put away, and the dog is put in another room, I sat and waited for minx to get off work.  Minx knows when she arrives she is to take a moment to say hello to my mother downstairs in her apartment then come upstairs to mine and take her appropriate position and wait for instructions.

I hear her car enter the drive and smile. I give one more glance around noticing the tools of pleasure and pain are already set out on the trunk at the end of the bed, music playing in the background, I nod and return to my book that I am reading and wait.

As I hear my pet enter the house and greet my mother at the door, I hear her voice shake a bit and I know she is jumpy and nervous as to what to expect tonight in her Master's lair.  She is trying so hard to sound normal as she talks to my mother and be cordial. Finally she heads up the stairs to my apartment and a side way smile crosses my face as I pretend to read my book.

My pet enters my lair and takes her position waiting for her orders. I glance over to her out of the corner of my eyes and smile as her eyes are downcast and I can see her breathing is rather uneven. I let her wait in anticipation a bit longer, and then swing my feet over the side of the bed. I walked over to my little minx and leaned over her whispering very close to her ear; “stand and take your cloths off NOW”!

“Yes Master” was her only reply, as she quickly started to disrobe and I closed the door to my lair and locked it, so that we would not be disturbed this evening. It was at this moment that minxes’ eyes caught sight of my weight set in the corner of the room noticing that it was set up with ropes and a dildo on the thigh press. Her eyes darted back to me; I gave an evil chuckle but said not more, except to growl; “Take your position slut”!

Minx quickly dropped to her knees and her eyes lowered with out even a word. I smiled and whispered good kitten as I petted her head.   With out warning I grabbed the back of her hair and bent her head back wards with a jerk so that she is looking up at me. I lean down claiming her lips as mine hard and demanding, our tongues dancing the tango.  Still holding on to her hair I release her mouth and say; “release my cock slut and make your Master cum”!

As I held a handful of her hair minx unzipped my pants and reached inside working her hands slowly up and down my cock watching her Masters face as she worked her hand all along the shaft of my cock and over the tip of the head again and again. I released a low growl from my throat and leaned into her hand, I pulled her hair a bit more and growled “open your mouth slut”!

As she opened her mouth I placed the head of my cock in her mouth and started to work it slowly in and out of her mouth, minx knowing instantly to start to suck and lick my cock as I worked it in and out fucking her face.  With out warning I pushed the full length of my cock all the way in to the back of her throat and held it there for the count of 4, watching as she gagged on the length of my cock and then pulled it back and started pumping again. Smiling saying in a soft voice good slut, you know Master likes it when you gag on his cock as he fucks the back of your throat. I continued to fuck my slutty minxes’  mouth for awhile longer making her gag ever so often until I came and then I had her lick my cock clean and return it back into my pants.

I stood back looking at her smiling, “you were very good pet, now it is your turn for some pleasure and some pain”; I said with an evil chuckle.  Minx looked at me with a gulp in her throat.

“Stand and go over to the weight set and face outwards minx”!

Minx obeyed even though I could see she was very nervous about doing so and uncertain as to what was about to happen.  I walked over to her and told her to place her hands above her head and grab the over head cross bar. “Do not move or I will use the cable ties and make SURE you do not move”!  I also told her to spread her feet and move back ward so that she was straddling the thigh press and sit down as if in a squat.  Minxes’ eyes got really big and stood still.

I growled and grabbed for the single tail whip laying one single stinging lash across her right thigh “SNAP”! 

“I SAID BACK UP AND SQUAT OVER THE THIGH PRESS NOW”!

Minx whimpered but started to back up and squat down and as she did the dildo that was placed there entered her already very wet pussy.   I reached down and stated pinching and twisting minxes’ clit as I leaned in and kissed her deeply on the lips capturing her lower lips between my teeth and biting it. Letting her know this evening was about my sadistic desires as much as her need for release and pleasure or more so.  Still pinching and twisting her clit and feeling her twisting and squirming I release her lower lip and growl “STOP SQUARMING OR YOU WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF”!

“Yes Master, I will Try Master”; was her soft reply.

I moved my mouth down to her neck and started to kiss and bite at her neck just above the collar. As I captured one of her ear lobes in my teeth and bit, I also captured her nipples in my fingers and twisted them hard and she let out a muffled scream.  I stepped back and looked at her with a glare in my eyes, “Do I have to gag you minx, or perhaps I should just release you and stop all together”? 

She was quick to answer; “No Master, please do not gag me or stop! I promise,  I will not scream again, I will only moan for my Master”!

I stepped back up to her and grabbed another handful of her hair on the back of her head and leaned in close to her ear and said in a low evil voice; “if you scream one more time, you will not be allowed to orgasm all week, but you will be beat ever chance I get with the cane, the redeemer, and the single tail whip, is this clear young lady!”  With a hard gulp, my minx said; “Yes Master, I understand and will not scream again tonight”.

With that I leaned in and bit her ear again trailing off by sucking the ear lobe, claiming it as mine and her too. I whispered in her ear before moving on to her neck, “Who owns you and can do what ever He wants to your body”?

A soft whimper of a reply came from minx “You Master, you own me; you own all of me, body is yours to do with as you wish”!

I leaned in and claimed her right nipple with my lips, tongue and teeth moving to the left spending the next several minutes devouring her body with my mouth, my hands, and my eyes knowing that minx is uncomfortable being in the open in front of anyone nude. 

I told my minx to start bouncing up and down as if she was riding my cock and fuck the dildo that I wanted to see her ram herself with the dildo.  She did as she was told and as she did I reached underneath her and started to vibrate her clit with my fingers. My minx started to moan and breath heavy almost instantly, but she was good and never let go of the cross bar and never screamed.  But, after several minutes of this she started begging to cum.  I told her she was not allowed to cum yet, but to continue riding the cock. It was a few moments longer when I felt her legs starting to tense up, her belly was tensing and she started to beg in earnest and she cried; “Please Master, PLEASE. I have to cum! I can’t hold it back any longer! PLEASE!!!”

I told her, “Cum now minx, CUM NOW”  At this my minx exploded and ejaculated all over my hand, the weight set and left a puddle of cum all over my floor. I smiled and she blushed.

It was then I noticing my minxes’ legs have begun to shake from standing in the horse stance and ramming the dildo in and out of her sweet pussy for so long. I quickly helped her stand up right and move forward so that her legs were straightened out and whispered for her to let go of the cross bar.  Helping her to the bed I lay her down on the bed. 

I went to my kitchen and got my minx some water and at the same time got a bowl of ice.  When I entered the bedroom I shut the door and locked it once again. Placing the ice on the end table I helped my minx to drink some of the water, took a sip of it myself then placed it next to the ice.  I told my minx she was a very good girl and for her to lie on the bed and rest for a moment because now was the time for her beating and I let her pick which toy she wanted to experience first.  I was almost certain which she would pick, and I was right, she picked the soft leather flogger.

After she rested and I checked her over to make sure her hip was ok, and nothing was damaged or that play should be stopped for the night. I gave her orders to lay head board to foot on the bed so I had access to her legs, ass and back.  I began with a slow crazy 8 covering the whole area of back, ass, and legs but quickly started to pick up in speed and strength.   After a good 15 minutes of the flogger and watching her sweet pearly white skin turn red I returned it to the trunk and picked up my light weight cat of nine tails and started making switching movement over her legs, ass, and back leaving nice red strip marks on top of the already red skin.  My minx lay twitching and squirming but not screaming only moaning and making soft whimpering sounds which she knows drives her Master crazy.

The next hour was spent beating my minx with each of the toys and teasing her in between each beating toy with a teasing toy such as a feather tickler, nylon tickling flogger, and even slight kamasutra massage in all the sensitive areas with out touching in of the erotic areas, just enough to send my minx into sub space and have her moaning and begging; “OH Master, fuck me, fuck me hard master please”!

I smile to myself and put the toys away rolling her over on her back..I climb on to the bed between my beautiful, sexy minxes’ legs and begin to continue the torture of Kamasutra massage for a bit longer until my little slut is literally out of her mind and on the verge of orgasming with out me touching her and me having to put my hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming her pleas to whom ever will listen.  I spread her legs and place her feet on my shoulders placing the head of my cock at the very tip of her sweet pussy still teasing her as I tickle the opening with the head of my cock. 

“OH GAWD, MASTER DON’T TEASE ME ANY LONGER PLEASE”! I pull back all together and move away from her not touching at all.  Her sweet eyes grew huge and tears started to run down her face.  “Why Master, why did you stop, don’t stop, please, please don’t stop”!

I looked at her; “Are you suppose to order me to not to stop teasing you? Am I not the Master? I tease you for as long as I want do I not?  You are the Slut here right? I am the Master”!

“OH YES MASTER, YOU ARE IN CHARGE, I AM JUST YOUR SLUT. I AM SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN TO ORDER YOU TO STOP, YOU CAN TEASE ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT MASTER I AM JUST YOUR SLUT AND YOUR SLUT IS SOOOOOOOOO HORNEY FOR YOUR COCK TO BE INSIDE OF ME!”

I smiled and with out warming moved closer and rammed my cock all the way inside her with one push and left it there.  My sweet minx gasped and then let out a large sigh “OH thank you Master!”

She started to try and move her hips against me and fuck herself against my cock and I slapped the side of her hips hard with my bare hand catching her off guard.  “I didn’t say fuck my cock did I”?

“No Master, you didn’t” she replied sadly

I moved in a bit closer and pushed in a bit harder as I pushed her knees to her chest and then slowly started pumping in small hard pumps so that my cock was making real small hard pumps inside her pussy, just enough to caress her g-spot.

As I felt her starting to tense I switched my technique and started to cork screw my hips and started to move the cock around inside her as a cork screw and pulling back so the head almost comes out and then goes all the way back in past the g-spot caressing it every time it came out and went back in.

Her tenseness lessened ever time I changed maneuver but came back stronger and faster each time too.

Finally I could feel myself reaching my point of ejaculation and she was tensing once again and started to beg for release.  I pushed all the way in and groaned; “Cum for your Master slut”!