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persiphone
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caligula2007
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Lots of other people on here claim to be "true" or "natural" dominants. I am an artificial and false dominant. I believe that my dominance is for me to determine, and that my relationship with a submissive is unique to us. I don't follow the "one twoo way". I don't seek a "natural" submissive. I just want someone who fits with me.
As far as play goes, I am very interested in the mental aspects of M/s
relationships and BDSM. I enjoy reinforcing the power imbalance in my
D/s interactions. I believe that, just as a submissive's body is mine
to play with, so is her mind. That is why I like mindfucks, hypnosis,
and demonstrations of service.
In my life, I've got a stable job, a running car, a good home, and even a
couch! What I don't have is someone to share my life with. Right now, I'm not looking for anything more than friendship... but if something falls into my lap, I won't run away.
Speaking of laps, even
though I'm 29, I've got a bit of a "dirty old man" thing, where I like
girls sitting in my lap. It's one of my quirks. If we didn't have
quirks, we'd all be boring.
I have this strange thing about consent. I REQUIRE it. I will NOT try to dominate anyone without consent. I will treat anyone in a vanilla fashion unless we negotiate otherwise. This means no stupid "you are now my slave!" emails, and "kneel before me" won't be the first words out of my mouth.
I like to get to know someone as friends first before getting into a relationship with them. I like women who are submissive that are into the darker side
of their sexuality. Someone with a willing and open mind, willing
to try some new things. For now, I am preferably looking for someone that
can be friends with benefits.
I am polyamorous, and into swinging. I'm just a bundle of alternative sexualities, I know. I am currently single. Even when I'm not, I usually have open relationships. I find monogamy to be too limiting. This doesn't make me a bad guy though. I have good relationships with women, just not exclusive ones.
I believe in many kinds of love and I
don't think that only having sex with one person makes sense if one loves many people. Also, I don't need to be in love with someone to have a respectful sexual relationship with them, and having sex with various people outside of my primary relationships doesn't take anything away from them. I love most people to varying degrees (not all sexual, of course).
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I'm about to change my profile information here. Just an FYI to those hundreds that I know are riveted to my every word. *chuckles*
Wha? I'm just sayin... I don't know why I even feel compelled to put something like this here, when I know that few people will care. ;-)
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Two weekends ago, I look a look into a world that not many see. I went to South Plains Leatherfest. At this event, the normal lines of gender are blurred. The normal lines of dominant/submissive are blurred. And the normal lines of fidelity are blurred. Leatherfolk from all over the country come and talk about relationships so complex, they need to be diagrammed.
For many of these people, being in multiple romantic relationships is the norm! Being in multiple D/s relationships is the norm! Loving and/or having sex with more than one person is a way of life -- whether the multiple happens at the same time, or at different times. And if you want to hook up with someone else for a night, that's okay too (they call it "cruising"). Love triangles give way to love polyhedrons. But you know what? It's all okay.
I feel good in that world. That world feels right to me somehow. It's okay to be myself there.
And then I come back to this world. The world of heterosexual BDSM. The world where you're a dominant, or not. You're a submissive, or not. You're a man, or not. You're a woman, or not. We like to claim we're pansexual -- we're not.
There's a common relationship in this het BDSM world. It's one heterosexual male dominant, with one or more bisexual female submissive/slaves. And, inevitably, the het mdom wants a "poly" relationship. But strangely, this "poly" relationship bears no resemblance to the ones I mentioned above. This "poly" relationship is for a single bisexual female submissive/slave, only. The female submissive is sent out "in search of" a subbie sister to join her. All others need not apply! (but het females can apply if he gets desperate) Out of all the poly relationships I've seen in my 7 years in the het BDSM community in south Louisiana, I remember only one where I found there was more than one male involved.
To put it succinctly, this disgusts me. I'm sure that some of these poly relationships are being created in the spirit of polyamory. But I have been the guy that your submissives talk to, and I know what they think of your motives. The more sly ones will let the female submissive go play -- with other women only, of course, in the hopes that they'll bring back this woman to the nest. That is in no way the beauty the polyamory can be. It is a bastardization used by men to try to get fucked by two women.
I see something similar in the swinger community as well, but not quite as prNote: As in all missives of this type, there are generalizations being made. Exceptions exist for all generalizations, so if you're going to counter with "but I know a guy who...", save your time. Address the meat of my message, which is that het men tend to be greedy pigs who use poly and swinging as a ploy to get women.)
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South Plains Leatherfest (SPLF) is an amazing BDSM and Leather conference held in Dallas. I had a wonderful time there this year, as every year. Next up, I'll be going to Seattle for 3/27 - 3/30. Then, Frolicon for 4/9 - 4/12.
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I'm heading out to Orlando for work. I'll be there the evenings of 10/13, 10/14, and 10/15. If anyone knows of any munches in the area, or wants to get together, please drop me a line!
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Many submissives I know consider face slapping to be a no-no, or at
least edge play. I saw somewhere that anthropologists say that our face
is the last place we let someone touch (aside from kissing). It's one
of the most intimate parts of our bodies.
Which is one of the reasons why I LOVE taking girls there. leading
them through the indecision of whether to do it, the questioning
whether they like it, and then the eventual enjoyment.
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I like shoving girls against walls... choking off their air. Controlling the very breath in their lungs. Seeing the look in their eyes as they begin to wonder if I'll let them breathe, then start to panic as their brains go into survival mode, their bodies thrashing. Then they pass out, and their limp bodies hold no interest for me... until they wake up again.
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One of the most useful generic concepts that I like to teach my submissives is 'TAP' -- Time And Place. For everything there is a time and place.
I teach them that if this is not the time or place for using bad language (or flashing, or anything else), then don't. Typically, the whether this is the TAP can be figured out from the situation. But occasionally, she'll get it wrong.
If this is NOT the time and place, but she's crossing the line, I'll just tell her "TAP". That's the code for "recognize why this is not the time and place for that behavior, and tone it down".
If this IS the time and place, but she's holding back, then I'll try to egg her on. Pointing out why it is. (this situation is rare)
Sometimes, though, I want her to do something inappropriate for TAP. She has to realize that, as her dominant, *I* get to make the decision as to when TAP can be broken.
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I'm heading up to Seattle, WA from Friday, 5/23 through Tuesday, 5/27.
I'll be around Orem, UT from Wednesday, 5/28 through Saturday, 5/31.
If anyone in those areas wants to get together and hang out, please let me know! :-)
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My record with hypnosis is getting better. I got the girl over the phone hypnotized finally. I'm glad I was able to help her out. I also spoke with the other person I failed with, and we're going to try again sometime soon. ---
Now, I'm looking for other people curious about hypnosis in real life. If you are, please contact me.
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Guess I'll give this journal a go. I've recently been practicing hypnosis. As I get more into it, I'm having more success. It's a wonderful thing to play with, and I've also used it to help out some good friends. ---
To date, I have succeeded in all but two cases. One, when I was so new I thought the relaxation induction was the only successful method. And the second was my first telephone hypnosis session. ---
On my recent cruise, I practiced 3 different rapid inductions on a friend, and had success with all 3. Now I just need to find someone local to try them on!
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| Age: 36 |
| Southern,
United Kingdom |
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