| I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.|
I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.
I translate ethnic slurs for refugees.
I write award-winning operas.
I manage time efficiently.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing.
I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I dont perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.
I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving s with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.
I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I have pered several covert operations for the CIA.
I sleep once a week when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair.
While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.
On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have pered open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
Anal Play (Expert)
Blindfolding you (Expert)
Breast Play (Expert)
Canes and Crops (Expert)
You wearing my collar
Masks on Partner
Going to the Opera
Eye Contact Restrictions
Placing you on a leash
Selecting the clothes you wear