Christmas Day at the Holiday Inn. Are you going to be spending the day alone? Not sure what to do? Looking to make a hasty getaway from one of those family things? Then, come over to my place! Around 4ish. Come with an open mind as we will be feasting, watching holiday movies, spanking, putting on a sleep sack and self bondage demonstration. I will have chess, checkers and cribbage boards all over the place. The dress up room is open. If you know my phone number give me a call otherwise send me an email, drop a few names as far as references go, and we'll get this party started! So far, we have green beans and bacon, sweet and savory fondues, orange bread and we are still trying to decide between turkey, ham or tamales. Dress up, down or nude at my place but be very vanilla before you get inside.

I smell fun...hmmm, I think I'll have a birthday party the last weekend of the month. Inquire within:)

Today, I heard a song that I've listened to many times in my life but this time it spoke to me. Leaving on a Midnight Train to Georgia and the line that struck me was "I'd rather live with Him in His world than live without Him in mine." I am on the path to completely belonging to someone and sometimes I get scared by some of his predilections but I am also starting to be scared of not having Him at all. I pride myself on not needing or wanting a full time partner in my life but since the day I met him in March of 2012 slowly but surely that is changing. Isn't it a strange feeling to be cared for like no one has ever cared for me in my life but at the same time for that care to come from a Man who also wants to use my body in ways that I've never agreed or allowed before? Cover me...I'm going in.

Did you ever wanna do it with Bugs Bunny when he was dressed up as a girl? If so, you might be interested in my upcoming vintage spot in Portland and/or my upcoming ebay store! Think Pink.

I appreciate, and need, all of the love and support that my friends in here are giving to me--thank you. For those of you who are offering to show me your dick--shame on you for not reading profiles and journal entries. Those of us who love this website are in here seeking real time connections and you get in our way. I am possessed by much more than a dick and He has earned the right and the privilege to do with me as it pleases Him and that's all I need.

Happy New Year, indeed. I made it to 2013. I shall live this year with a robustness and gusto and passion and enthusiasm and I will grab hold of life like it's a bucking bronco and I've been super-glued to the saddle. To everyone who helped me this year while I was not so healthy--thank you. I am a survivor.

Message to my good friends: I just got out of hospital two days ago.  I am very ill (not contagious) and I need a lot of help. Mostly dropping off food or taking me to get some food. Housecleaning and massages and rides to Kaiser twice a week are also on my wish list. I can't come online very often. I am optimistic about my prognosis and am open to friends coming by and watching goofy movies with me and cooking and stuff.

Alternative friendly Bed n Breakfast and short term room rental in awesome home in SE Portland. References available and required. Namaste.

Dear Master--You're the light in my day and the dark in my night. When i think about You everything that's wrong seems right. Wait a minute, that's a double entendre that was not intended but is surely appropriate. Whatever wrongful (according to present day euro-centric norms) things He is turned on by become rightful in my eyes. Being led by Him is the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank You, ChattleBaron. i adore You.

The new profile picture was taken on 7/5/12 after the ritualistic presentation of, and acceptance of, The Letter of Unconditional Surrender that i presented to my Owner. i am now allowed to call Him Master! That red mark in the picture is His mark upon me. To begin the morning, He had me on the floor on my knees and with my head and chest to the floor. He had the girl witness make and bring Him two eggs over easy which i thought He would eat off a plate set on my butt. Nope. He had the girl witness place the eggs on my backside and He ate them right off of me! Then, He had me wear a beautiful feathered mask, and nothing else, and recline with my backside against Him in an old psychiatrist style lounge as He wore a vintage men's burgundy smoking jacket that i presented to Him. He also had a very sexy girl lick and kiss my toes during the punishment scenes of the movie that W/we watched which was The Story of O. This day was one of the most glorious days of my life. A while back i was informed that if i were serious about my pursuit of this Magnificent Man then i could put forth a formal offering. The rules were that this formal offer of surrender, the first stage in His gradual Ownership of me, would have to be on special paper, with borders decorated in a manner that i thought would be pleasing to Him, and then, placed in an envelope unfolded. Guess how many specialty paper stores i went to in order to find pretty envelopes that are 8.5x11? Smiles. He is so worth it. After the viewing of the movie, i was instructed to read the 4 page Letter of Surrender out loud as He ran His fingers over my body as the girl witness watched as He took liberties with His property. 
After reading aloud, there was a punishment that i had merited, and succeeded at passing, and then the signing of the document with the girl as witness. Then, He gave me a choice on how to spend the last hour together--snuggling and exploring His body is the only choice that i ever think of when given a choice. It's been four months now and i have not ever seen His face. i've always been blindfolded at every meeting. i have yet to feel the fullness of Him in every way, shape, and form that a slave is used for and so i begin to yearn for Him more each day. This incredible journey has been breathtaking in so many ways. According to O/our witness, the girl, He is hot! According to my soul He is everything. Thank You Master, i am Yours in all ways and for always. Your happy slut.

Today, this bliss filled girl met her Owner, in the flesh, for the very first time, after 3 months of emails and phone calls that have taken this marvel filled girl from 15 years of searching for Him to actually yielding to Him up close and extremely personal. This is going to be a big change in this one's life. So far, change smells good:)

Would anyone like to share with me how they first felt when they began to realize that they "really" did belong to someone else? Warm regards,

Belle

Who wants to go see Dita Von Teese at the Aladdin on Monday night, 5/28? I saw her show last night and am considering going again...

June 1, 2, and 3: I am looking for someone to lead a workshop in seductive undressing. The beats that I'm interested in are something like: Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen; Take me to the River by Talking Heads; Low by Cracker; and #1 Crush by Garbage. Slow and nasty.

You know the song, "There's something happenin' here. What it is ain't exactly clear." Well, what's happening in my life right now is very clear and it can best be expressed in the following songs that this one is sitting here and listening to right now. That's right. Live journal a la kinkerbelle. 1 That's the way I've always heard it should be by Carly Simon. (I love that line but this song was all about marriage and a bit wistful and forlorn and this one feels like she is on Cloud 9 even on difficult days since she met Him). 2 Rehab by Amy Winehouse. (Love the song but now that I've listened to the lyrics it's rather weak and this one feels as strong as Athena as His ward). 3. At Last by Etta James (just about every part of this song was right on! At last, indeed! Holding out my slave heart for The Right One took me in all kinds of other directions to have certain needs met but the wait was WORTH it and is highly recommended). 4 All Lit Up by Buck Cherry (this one has so much energy since meeting her Owner that she just had to do a cathartic dance). 5. I want to tear you Apart by She Wants Revenge (it's dark, it's about finding one's tribe, it's sexy, it's passionate, it's edgy, it's taboo and it reminds me of Him). 

The intent when this one sat down at the computer was to write an ode in honour of the most stunning Dominant male she has ever come across. Having been years (if not an entire decade) since this one was inspired to wax poetic, she forgot that the words don't always come easy. Listening to music was meant to find some lyrics that prompted this one but it turned in to something more. A journey of reflection over the last couple of months. First, this one thought that "That's the way I always heard it should be" was a good fit for lyrics but that did not turn out to be the case. Of course, "That's the way I've always felt it should be" is spot on! Every response to every email, every answer to every question, everything that He does and says and represents is the way this one always felt it should be. And for those of you reading this who have never met your Master yet, let me tell you, if He is for real than many of these things will happen: He will not start out by calling you slut. He will, for the most part, meet you where you are at in your journey, and engage you much as He would a new friend. He will make it clear what his priorities are and whether or not He is even looking for real time. He will consistently reinforce the friendship piece if the attraction grows as He will be spending a great deal of time discovering everything that He can about you. If, you remained within His interest as a potential sub or slave then He will also make that clear and give you every opportunity to ask questions and choose whether to remain a friend or go further. He will be consistent. He will praise you. Punishment/discipline will be swift, clear and certain. If He makes a mistake He will apologize and He will mean it and He will learn from it. He has a plan. He may plan to do dastardly things to you and to subject you to His will and all of those wonderful things you're aching for but He will also have your safety (heart, mind, body, and soul) as His paramount concern. He is not submissive to His penis. He will build a foundation of trust over a period of time that's long enough for the trust to be established. He won't offer you a collar in here. He will make you jump through hoops to get it. It's so appropriate that this is happening to this girl in the midst of everything that's blooming and blossoming and opening up just like little cunts to the rays of sunshine that are His orbs beaming down with an unspoken promise that He will feed and nourish her (even if He must teach her to properly suckle) because that's what He does--He takes care of His property. Clearly, the poem in His honour is going to take some brew time.

The coolest thing happened last night. After a day that was 3x more than this girl could take, she laid her head down on her arms at her desk and thought about changing the location of her collar me profile and putting in a journal message for her Leather friends in OC/LA to contact her. Unbelievably, while dreaming about it, her phone rang at 1:10am and it was a very good friend from LA who she hasn't talked to in over a year. Leather Spirituality--it's always been good to me. 

This song depicts what appears to be a blossoming slave finding her Owner and approaching Him and making herself completely vulnerable to Him. Swoon.

Desperate for changing

Starving for truth

and closer t' where I started

When chasing after you

i'm falling even more in love with You

Letting go of all i've held onto

i'm standing here until You make me move

i'm taken by a moment here with You

forgetting all i'm lacking

completely incomplete

i'll take Your invitation

if You'll take all of me

i'm falling even more in love with You

letting go of all i've held onto

i'm standing here until You make me move

i'm taken by a moment here with You

i'm living for the only thing i know

i'm running and i'm quite sure where to go

and i don't know what i'm tapping into

just taken by a moment here with You

there's nothing else to lose

there's nothing to find

there's nothing in the world 

than can change my mind

there is nothing else

Still my favorite pick-up line after all these years...Excuse me, Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Ask me about a Pervy Social Parlour in fabulous SE PDX. Would you like to have a sexy dinner with your date? Risk being "seen" in the bedroom? Perhaps you just need a place to spank or flog or wear sexy clothes and watch a movie. 100 year old 2 story, huge porch, zen waterfall, garden, wooden floors, bench windows, dressing room for gg's and tg's, clawfoot bathtub, warmth and charm.

I am working on a book about Grief and Sexuality. If anyone who has lost a loved one would be willing to be interviewed on this delicate subject please keep me in mind.

1st Day of Collarme Road Trip!
We are spending the night with our good friend mesam in Oxnard. Mesam grilled chicken and veggies for us and took us walking on the uncrowded beach and turned us on to the music of Teresa Tudury. Mesam also had a beautiful spray of my favorite flowers displayed--gladiolas. Sweeeet.

Of all the Gin Joints..., I didn't know collarme still existed! I just finished at UCI and now I'm beginning my first grad program. I have to go be a schoolgirl now:)

I just accepted UC Irvine so I'll be living in OC beginning in Sept.