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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Master, 68,  Cheltenham, United Kingdom
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KingDomUK - photo 1
KingDomUK - photo 2

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A gentleman who is dominant seeks a lady who is submissive for an LTR. Interests include film, walking, good food and wine (though it would hardly be bad food and wine, would it?), indoor games (Scrabble, cards, backgammon), and conversation. I am looking for a structured caring relationship with someone intelligent but who wishes to be relieved of much of lifes responsibilities.Interested? Then please contact me.

Best wishes, Bill

PS My username is a joke, a pun, not to be take seriously, ok? Jeez.

PS. And on the subject of facial hair.I grew the beard to protest the US presence in Vietnam in 1970. It got them out and it has kept them out. Wish I knew what to do about Iraq though.Anyway, as it is so old, it is soft, neither tickly nor prickly (so I have been told). Nor is it like Velcro.

PS Someone has asked why, since I am obviously such a good catch, I am still here. The answer is that I am too selective. In my experience, being with the wrong person is far worse than being with nobody. Are there any sapiosexuals out there?

PS And frankly, Im not going to be happy if we cannot be companions. To me a companion has to be within twenty years of me, and either well educated or very experienced. No offense to those lovely teenage shop assistants, but we really wont get on. Even my twenty four year old niece read philosophy and sociology, and we have precious little in common!

PS And LTR long term relationship, which what I seek.LDR long distance relationship and that will not do.

PS At my age, the libido is in decline so sex is optional, but my control of your orgasm is not!

PS Some women say they want to act out their slutty side.If they do, does it cease to be slutty?If they are required to dress sluttishly, is it still slutty?Is sluttiness absolute?

PS Sometimes it seems all the good women used to be men!

PS (25-May-11) Read The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby. It has a lot of long words and no pictures but is interesting.

PS (24-May-16)

Results from 88 Dominant 85 MasterMistress 85 Rigger 85 Sadist 81 Degrader 79 Owner 75 Primal (Hunter) 74 DaddyMommy 73 Brat tamer 62 Voyeur 50 Experimentalist 42 Non-monogamist 36 Ageplayer 31 Masochist 23 Exhibitionist 20 Vanilla 17 Rope bunny 16 Degradee 16 Switch 12 Submissive 10 Brat 10 GirlBoy 10 Primal (Prey) 10 Slave 4 Pet











Last Online:


 Dominant Male


 United Kingdom

 6' 1"

 99 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female


 Fine Dining (Expert)

 Movies (Expert)

 Walking (Expert)

 Breast Play

 Rubber Fetish

 Board Games

 Intellectual Discourse (Expert)

 Liberal Politics  (Expert)

 Libertarian Politics


 1950s Lifestyle

 Classical Music


 Art Galleries (Expert)

 Coffee Shops




 Canes and Crops

 Corner Time


 Gags (Beginner)

 Hoods (Beginner)

 Orgasm Denial

 Maid/Butler Service

 Role Playing


 Speech Restrictions


 Card Games


 Chess (Expert)

 Comedy Shows


 Art Collecting



 Chemistry (Expert)

 Mathematics (Expert)


 Physics (Expert)

 Political Activism



 Lifestyle BDSM (Beginner)

 Old Guard

 Victorianism (Beginner)



 Beachcombing (Beginner)

 Going to the Opera (Beginner)


 Bicycling (Beginner)








 Curious About:



 Opera Music


 Amusement Parks

 Bar Hopping




 Conservative Politics


 Gorean Lifestyle

 Goth Lifestyle





 Female Supremacy

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Journal Entries:
10/4/2016 2:12:01 PM
Just watched The Duke of Burgundy.  Intriguing.  Bratty sub topping (no, that's not a dessert). Very beautiful.  Eroticism is only peripheral.

There was one thing missing.  Where did all the water go?!

2/19/2015 12:37:41 AM
Just found (in case you like cats).

It has the line "Dogs do sports. Cats do theater."  which I like.

6/15/2014 1:49:25 AM
Today's BBC's Something Understood mentioned 500th anniversary of the death of Suster Bertken who had herself bricked up in small brick room that she had built around herself measuring less than 4 m x 4 m where she lived for 57 years.

And that's not kinky!

4/8/2013 9:55:43 AM

Just for fun I took the BBC Class Test (

) with the following results.


1)      “You scored 82/100 for economic capital” which means my financial resources are higher than about 82% of the sample.


2)      “You scored 30/100 for social capital” which means my social network is broader than about 30% of the sample.  This means I do not have a large and varied network.  In fact, I have a small and less varied network.  I could enlarge it by joining clubs, for example.


3)      “You scored 80/100 for cultural capital” which means my range of cultural interests is broader than about 82% of the sample.

12/7/2012 7:35:12 AM

I don't know if any of you have read this book, if you haven’t, the following might give you an idea of what it is all about.  The novel Fifty Shades of Grey has seduced women - and baffled blokes.  Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden.  Here are some extracts...


Fifty Sheds Of Grey


We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a wall... but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.


She stood before me, trembling in my shed.  "I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me."  So I took her to McDonalds.


She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.  I moaned with pleasure.  Now for the other boot.


Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains, and shackles.  She still manages to get into the shed, though.


"Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly.  "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.  "Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof."


"I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished."  So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.


"Harder!" she cried, gripping the workbench tightly.  "Harder!"  "Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?"


I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.  Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.


"Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos.  "I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt.


"Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.  "Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense."


"Are you sure you want this?"  I asked.  "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks." She nodded.  "Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.


"Punish me!" she cried.  "Make me suffer like only a real man can!"  "Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.


"Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD

10/18/2012 6:09:32 AM

I have been chatting with an American lady who has moved to England.  She has a wealthy partner who has just acquired, she says, a remarkable suit made of silicone.  She is usually kept in rubber so this was a new material to her.  It is very stretchy and strong and not inclined to rip.


It is in two parts and there are no zips!


A hood has nose tubes and a pouch which fits into her mouth.  Before putting it on, she has to put on what is like a swimming cap.  The hood is then half turned inside out and pulled over her head and the nose tubes inserted into her nostrils.  The rest of the hood is then unrolled, ensuring the pouch goes in her mouth.  She then has to breathe through her nose.  The front of the mask is painted with a detailed face.  Her master has chosen a young oriental face, which I suspect reflects his taste for young girls.  He has been frequently to Thailand, and my friend is petite (but over fifty years old).


The body of the suit has complete arms and legs and two pouches.  She is well lubricated with a water based jelly and slides in through the neck opening which is opened for her.  All the air is squeezed out.  The neck of the hood goes under the neck of the body suit and she is totally enclosed.  The pouches are inserted into her cunt and ass and she is ready.


In this state she was penetrated several times but she is concerned that she does not know by whom.  She gets little sensation but she will pay close attention next time to see if she can tell if it is her Master or another.  She has heard her Master discuss the suit with someone on the phone, and suspects there is at least one other participant.  I am not happy that this sharing is non-consensual, and have told her my views.  Her contract with her present Master expires in January.

4/30/2012 12:50:44 AM

Sentimental Poem for May Day


Little brown brother, Oh little brown brother are you awake in the dark?

Here we lie cosily close to each other, hark to the song of the lark,

Wake up, the lark says, waken and dress you

Put on your green coats and gay

Blue skies will shine on you, sun will caress you

Waken tis morning tis May!

Little brown brother oh little brown brother what kind of flower will you be?

I'll be a poppy all red like my mother, do be a poppy like me !

What!!! ............ you're a sunflower??....... Oh How I will miss you

When you've grown golden and high

But, I shall send all the bees up to kiss you

Little brown brother goodbye


4/25/2012 4:41:06 AM

Part 1 - The Beginning

You arrive home, and find your collar on the hall table.  You put it on, trembling slightly as you do.  You go upstairs to change out of your travel clothes, looking in the rooms as you go up.  It's a nice house, clean and tidy.  Upstairs you unpack the uniform you have been asked to bring.  First you shower, to clean away the grime of the journey and to help you relax.  Also, having been told to wear just a latex rain coat, boots, panties and bra, you were rather moist, partly from excitement.  You dry yourself carefully, admiring yourself in the mirror as you do.  Then you put on the maid's uniform.  High heels, no stocking or knickers, a fine gold ankle chain, a short latex skirt, quarter cup bra, and a sheer white latex blouse with a deep frilly V neck.  You apply a little make-up carefully, and the perfume that has been left out for you.

You hear me enter the house downstairs.  I am not surprised to see the collar has gone, as I watched you enter.  I go to the sitting room, and put some music on.  Now you know you must come and serve me.  You come downstairs carefully in your heels, and knock.  You enter, and I ask you to stand in front of me.  I ask you to turn around, and then to lift your short skirt, to make sure you are wearing what we had agreed.

"Come and stand by my chair while I read."  I am reading a book, but you cannot see what it is.  Occasionally, I run my cool hand slowly up your thighs, up between your legs.  You shudder, as this gentle stranger touches you.  I ask you to stand with your feet apart in my presence, and you spread your legs slightly.

I ask you to fetch the tray from the kitchen, and be careful not to spill my Sherry.  You carefully descend, and find a tray, with a glass brimful of Sherry and some almonds.  You carry it so very very carefully, but it is difficult.  You reach the sitting room without spilling a drop, and as you enter I stand and beckon you.  You have done well, and not a drop has been spilt, but now I reach my hand into your blouse.  Holding the tray, you cannot resist.  As my cool hand finds a nipple, rolls and squeezes it to make it firm, you shudder, and now you are undone, for the glass tilts and a little Sherry dribbles down the outside, making a ring on the tray.

"Oh Poppet, this is so sad.  Put the tray down, and bend over the back of the sofa."  I bring your hands behind you back, and tie them gently with some soft rope.  A blindfold adds to your excitement, and your bottom starts to twitch.  I lift your skirt, exposing your pretty bare bottom.  And then you hear the crop, slicing through the air.  Just a few strokes, so you will be more careful in future.  After I am done, and my how exciting I have found your exposure, I send you to stand in the corner, facing it. "Keep your arms beside you, slightly away from your body, please," I command.  Occasionally I come over and touch you, standing behind you, lifting your breasts, feeling the nipples harden.  Sometimes I kiss your neck gently, while one hand is between your legs, and the other cups and caresses a breast.  As you still have your blindfold on, you are more aware than ever of your body, and unable to control it.  Sometimes it shudders at the touch.

After a while I announce this role play is over.  I ask you to dress for dinner.  I have found a clear latex dress, which will conceal you a little but reveal you too.  I go to the kitchen and put together a light supper, and pour some wine, while you change.  You are surprised to see red marks on your bottom, a gentle reminder when you sit down.


Changed, you come downstairs, and we have supper together.  I ask you about your journey, your feelings while being my maid, how you feel about your new dress, what changes you would propose.  We talk about your life, and how you came to be excited by the idea of submission.

Part 1 - The End

1/28/2011 1:46:50 AM

"For everything that lives is holy, life delights in life."


I do like William Blake (though he was somewhat weird).  See


Mind you I think Samuel Johnson and Percy Grainger shared some of our tastes.  I wonder if it was something in the London water.

5/26/2009 5:40:37 AM

I am very reluctantly letting the stray cat Toby go.  I'll do it through the Cat Protection league who will vet (tee hee) the prospective guardians.


Is the Chinese ideogram for argument two dominants under one roof?


2/1/2008 7:21:59 AM

The other day someone showed me the Stella Awards ( and very funny they were too.  However, it would seem that they are not completely true (  But it did trigger a memory of a recent article in the Indie (, which I have put below.

Businessman drops plans to sue parents of boy he killed

Thursday, 31 January 2008

A Spanish businessman has withdrawn his plans to sue the parents of a teenager he ran over and killed while at the wheel of a luxury car.

Tomas Delgado had demanded damages of €20,000 (£14,850), from the family of 17-year-old Enaitz Iriondo Trinidad, claiming the fatal crash damaged his Audi A8.

But as the case was due to go to court yesterday, Mr Delgado dropped his legal claim after the publicity sparked national outrage in Spain, where many felt sympathy for the parents of Iriondo.

They had been due to come face-to-face with Mr Delgado in court but instead of being victims, they would have been defendants.

Hundreds who staged a demonstration outside the courthouse in Haro, in northern Spain, in support of the Iriondo family, broke into applause when news came the case would not go ahead.

Antonio Iriondo Trinidad, the dead boy's father, said he was pleased, but added this meant the family would now sue Mr Delgado. "This is good news but it is just the beginning," he said.

Iriondo was killed when he was riding his bicycle home from a campsite in 2004. His family was paid €33,000 (£24,524) in compensation by Mr Delgado's insurers. Mr Delgado later launched the case claiming Iriondo was at fault by riding without a reflective jacket.

Mr Delgado became a hate figure in Spain after he coolly told a television station: "It's the only way I can recover the costs of the damage to my car and the rental truck which took it away." An investigation after the crash found both parties were at fault.

A traffic report said Mr Delgado was travelling at 100kph (62mph) in a 90kph zone while the teenager had not worn reflective clothing while riding his bicycle.

After the crash, Iriondo's parents were given just three days to launch legal action but were too distraught to take any. Mr Delgado did not face criminal charges, but now a prosecutor is to examine whether any can be brought.

In a separate case, a Madrid taxi driver won €2,500 (£1,858) from the parents of a girl who he knocked down and killed.

Last year, the parents of a girl who killed herself by throwing herself out of a window had to pay compensation of €4,000 (£2,950) to the owner of a car on which their daughter landed.

1/14/2008 5:39:28 AM

Last autumn I ordered some rubber clothes (a blouse and skirt) for a Russian lady, stuck out in the middle of nowhere.  They did not arrive for months and I am sure she thought I was a fraud.  I was afraid the postal service (or even customs) had snaffled them.  Anyway, last week they finally arrived and she is so happy.  She has sent me some pictures of herself and I am sure she will not mind me putting one on my profile.  I won’t ever see her in the flesh but I’m delighted to have made her day.


And combined with that I had a really good weekend.  Friday evening was inauspicious (snow and talks of flooding locally).  Out both Saturday and Sunday evening.  I’ve just had my small (twenty foot square) garden landscaped so it looks rather bare.  Even little things like finding (and assembling) a compost bin to fit in the right spot worked.  I’ve spread manure on the new beds, and there is plenty of rain to water it in.  It won’t be long now before I can start planting.


So, yippee!

12/6/2007 8:16:36 AM

OK, the little 3 has gone.


Still, I have been struggling of late because I suddenly came across (and had to use) CBT as an abbreviation in a vanilla context (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).  It was odd having serious discussions about it and where it could be obtained.  Not my bag but à chacun son goût.


Mind you, when I designed a flat bed machine, Google was often surprising. 


And I turned my back and CAT suddenly means something different (Cognitive Analytic Therapy).

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