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Not that I just realized this now....but damn I have some twisted ass fantasies lol |
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It's not been a good night. It always seems that any problems you are having grow bigger teeth and deadlier claws at night. It amplifies the sorrow and deepens the pain. This and the fact that I've had time to think have been problematic. When I'm hurting, thinking has never been a good thing.
Just feeling very alone right now. |
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I have decided after two weeks that being dumped hurts a hell of a lot less than having to break up with someone. I would rather be hurt than break someone elses heart and this is the first time ive had to do it....
it sucks |
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Ive found that sometimes in life we cant always have that which we want so badly. Some things just dont work as much as we may want them to. I have just learned this again...for the umpteenth time...
I am heartbroken....
I really need a lap to lie my head in and a firm yet gentle hand to stroke my face |
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Wow, some people on here really need a good whack across the face with the reality stick lol...
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Ok time for another rant (wow i am quite the busy bee lately) ...tonight's target: Submissives who top from the bottom. Here's my take on this. This idea that a sub is topping from the bottom because he or she has certain things they expect from a Dominant or from their relationship - Bullshit fallacy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but all you Dommes who believe this is topping from the bottom, you need to understand something. We are all in this for a reason. We have needs and we have wants. In a BDSM relationship it is completely acceptable for a Dominant to determine what is given and what is not given and how they pace the relationship, what in my opinion is not acceptable is submissives being verbally harpooned because they value these basic needs. A good Dominant in my opinion will welcome these needs and desires and will in some form or fashion satisfy them. A relationship is very much like a fire. If you fan the flames of a fire, the fire will grow. If you deprive it of oxygen it will go out. So remember that the next time you admonish a submissive because they expressed their needs.
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Perhaps it's just another case of me being completely oblivious to my surroundings, but when I registered here on CollarMe, I didn't happen to see the sign that said "Check your personality at the door"
Oh well
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So anyway, I suppose since it's been a while, it's probably time for a rant. I have a good one too. Lately I have gotten (according to some) lazy in messaging people. They used to get a nice introductory note but now they usually get a simple Hello. Most people understandably don't like this. While I sympathize with their feelings and the fact that they do not like these lackluster efforts, the problem is one of courtesy in my opinion. First off, it seems to me that lately CollarMe has been kind of lacking in the 'people of substance' category so that greatly factors in to the situation. Here's how I see it. If we were sitting in a coffee shop chatting and you had my full attention, yet I didn't have yours, well in my estimation that is rude and is not very courteous. I care not if your a sub, switch or a Dominant, courtesy is something you need to show in order to receive. The same is true on here. In my humble opinion, I think if someone is going to make the effort to open themselves up and tell the other person a good deal about themselves and how they see things, then the other person, at the very least, should give the same courtesy regardless of how they feel about the other. We are not being charged anything to carry a good conversation and you do not need to want someone to carry a conversation with them, so frankly it perplexes me how some people really cant return the courtesy. What bothers me is putting everything you have into conversation with someone, opening yourself up to someone and not getting the same in return, and in most cases getting nothing in return. To me this is just a lack of courtesy and honestly is a reason why you are bound to see these simple 'hello' messages out there. At least among those of us who have more substance than just someone looking for a quick fuck. Anyway I'm sure this seems like me griping and pitching a fit, but it's really only an explanation as to why I do some of the things i do.
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After having read some rather rude and quite close-minded (arent BDSM'ers supposed to be known for open-mindedness?) opinions regarding switch males, i must ask, truly what is it about switch males that seem to irritate so many? Why is it that so many Domme's and subs alike just cant seem to reconcile the fact that there are some people who enjoy a bit of diversity in life? Does it make you any less capable to wield a whip if your sub knows that there is a side of you that is interested in exploring your own submission? Is there, on the flip side, some way that you cant truly give your self completely in a submissive manner to a Domme if you have any inkling of Dominance in you? Honestly, i see so many profiles bitching and whining about switch males, yet none of them have ever given any actual reason why they are disliked so much....truly if there are any of you out there who dislike us switch men so much please, by all means send me a message and let me know what the hell your thinking, i would love to hear it....i do so hate using the word hypocrite, but as they say, if the shoe fits....
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well like they say....when life gives you lemons.....throw them as hard as you can at someone's head...makes you feel better |
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Its been a while since i've posted much on here...but after reading some of the profiles by some on this site, i have been inspired. I dont understand why being a Dominant means that someone can treat others (who they dont even know btw) like a piece of crap. You get what you put into this life and it seems to me that you should expect the same type of respect that you give others. Labelling yourself as a Dominant does not give you the right to disrespect someone else just because that person feels that they are submissive in nature. I believe that there are people in this lifestyle who are in it for the wrong reasons, and i strongly believe that some of the behaviors exhibited by certain users on here are extremely unhealthy and potentially damaging....but once again thats just me |
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please people, for the love of god and my own sanity, learn how to spell. Correct grammar is nice too. If your going to go through the trouble of creating a profile\journal, dont you at least want to sound literate? And for the umpteenth time...its Dominant, not Dominate |
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I've been on this site for a little while and honestly im starting to get frustrated with it. Where are all the people who are looking for something real, something meaningful, something everlasting, something more enduring than time itself? |
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Been rather confused lately. Feels like i've been passing through a forrested bog and im not sure where the break in the foliage is. I long to see the sun again. |
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i have no intentions of disrespecting anyone, but am i the only one who finds it rather disconcerting when you read a profile from a slave or a submissive and they refer to themselves as useless, or good for nothing other than being a sex toy...i think in the right context that can be a pretty exciting dynamic of the D\s relationship, i think the idea of self-worthlessness can be exciting but only in a play environment...just as pain and humiliation can be exciting as well, but only in the right circumstances...basically i dont think anyone should be led to believe themselves worthless...this lifestyle, like it or not, comes with a lot of negative energy...the kind of negative energy that can truly destroy someone's self worth if allowed to...if abused....there is also a world of positive energy in this lifestyle and i was fortunate enough to be able to experience the balance between positive and negative energy and have come to expect nothing less but a balance of both... |
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ok here we go again, some of the profiles on here brings me to a question which might be pertinent...my question is...why do so many Dominants feel the need to post a photo of their "tools" or "toys"? I find this only adds to creating an image that the Dominant is unapproachable...I personally would much rather see a photo in vanilla setting with a big smile on your face than how a Dominant looks in fetish gear. This, like always, is but my opinion and posted here more to illicit creative conversation than disrespect. We all know why someone is on this site, that is obvious with or without the toys present. I guess this goes back to one of my core ideas that I treat people as people first, not Dominants or submissives...but people...and that is how i wish to be seen in return. |
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i suppose its time for another little peek inside my mind...this time its about caring and cruelty. I personally believe that there is enough room within the BDSM universe for caring and cruelty to co-exist. I believe its just another facet of the Ying Yang idea. I think if your going to break someone down, if your going to hurt someone, humiliate someone...then you have to take the responsibility to also heal the wounds you create. I understand that there are some out there who dont agree with my ideas but i truly think drawing a submissives blood, or tears and then kicking them and telling them to go clean themselves up is a shame. I believe if your hand is strong enough to draw blood, your arm should be strong enough to give support afterwards.... |
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The perpetual struggle between my inner Dominant and my inner submissive has now become more evident than ever lately...the struggle is always there, but lately it has taken place front and center...i think perhaps my submissive side would yield to my Dominant side for the right girl...something to ponder i suppose |
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a quick peek into my head....one thing im about is fairness. I wouldn't ask something of someone that I myself couldn't handle. Thus, i hope to receive the same treatment in return. I believe if your going to tell someone they must remain chaste for a certain period of time, then you should also be willing to control yourself to some extent. I believe if your going to demand that someone be faithful only to you as a Mistress or a Master, then that Mistress or Master should have just one submissive. These are but my ideas, my beliefs. I force them on no one and i know for some they are not right. As always, valid only at participating restaurants :) |
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It's a shame how so many people on here see unconventional thinking and thinking outside of the box as bad things on here....if what you believe in is so strong and so true, you shouldnt be afraid to challenge it with new ideas. |
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For a person who is submissive, yet enjoys their independent nature, this lifestyle can get kinda scary....it threatens to devour every last vestige of independence you have, depending on your partner...sometimes i find it very hard to find the balance...one minute i enjoy giving up total control, the next it scares the shit out of me...chalk it up to my contradictory nature...i dont know....how do you find that happy balance....can you find that happy balance...or should i be giving second thought to my being here..... |
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It seems that alot of Dommes out there don't like opinionated subs...that is unfortunate...submissive we may be, but we are people first, at least those of us that wish to be considered as such :) |
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