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Hello,

My name is still to be decided, I figure it will happen when it happens. I am happy to say that I have been taking hormones for five months now. The results are quite spectacular. But the truth is I have secret cravings that I can't disclose with the rest of the world. I wish to leave my life that I am currently living for it is lavish and luxurious, but not the life I want. I am the definition of a spoiled rich kid who went broke.

All I have ever wanted is to become a sex toy. I am so fem and submissive already and I dream and wake up craving cocks and being fucked daily 24/7. Being bred constantly is on my mind. Laying bed wearing nothing but sheer comfy lingerie. I'm not a gross person normally, so this is going outside my box. Some people say its because of the hormones. It might be though I have been thinking this way pre-hormones. What started this was when my employment was terminated. I was a teller at a reputable bank, and before that a Junior research assistant of 2 years....Afterwards, I ran my accounts into the ground, then dug a hole and kept on digging. Then I allowed the mail to pile up. Partied and consorted with unsavory individuals. I confronted my parents and disclosed everything that has been going on, the hormones and I looked completely different to them. Before anything could really be talked about there was yelling and shouting and told me I could go. So I did.

Now here I am. Sitting in the home my parents bought for me and allow me to live in. I know what your thinking. "What is my problem right"? Well, I was adopted when I was an infant by an upper class white suburban family. They didn't believe me when I told them I knew I was a girl at 13. So we have struggled with it since then. Suffice it to say there is a lot of drama. I want to get away from it all and just become myself already. I have some college experience. Though I went right after High School and I never really applied myself. My parents more or less wanted me out of the house so I was placed in an apartment off-campus. Coolest thing ever for a 18yr old. Stupidest thing ever. I took it all for granted and the the weirdest thing is that now I find myself at a point where I can learn with the mental acuity required to create and innovate new ways of thinking. I still have yet to find the next point where I can incorporate this new attitude. I'm just excited that it is there. Though none of that matters. I had a chance to go back to school with the bank and blew it sooo now I'm like On hormones and I find myself constantly horny. I am cursed.

I am now Under the influence much to my regret. Everyone keeps telling me I have such potential. I don't care. All I have ever wanted to do is help people. On a global scale. Massive technological advances in agriculture, transportation, and philanthropic endeavors. I have no idea how I am going to do any of this and so Here I am doing things I shouldn't and still wishing for a miracle, or perhaps I just keep dreaming of that place where I am truly myself and I wake up because it was all a dream. I hate who I am and I guess this is my last attempt at finding a measure of happiness in this world. I'm not sure how long this post will stay up here or if at all for that matter.

There is nothing else worth saying......I just want to be a real girl and pleasure men.

I have sexual photos of myself but I'm trying to change my life. So I will keep those to myself until Requested.

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3/5/2013 5:54:42 AM

It's time for me to run. 


2/21/2013 6:55:47 AM

2/21/2013 UPDATE

So guys my life has taking a strange twist. My employer let me go a few weeks ago. I've been on the job hunt with no success  My accounts are all overdrawn and now I find that I have bills due. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook, but this is really messed up. 

 


10/10/2012 10:09:59 AM

I am not into fetishes or being a porn object.. just look at a picture of me and see my in a meadow throwing flowers in the air and having them fall around me...That's the sort of person I am. 


10/7/2012 6:31:37 PM

I am alone......


10/2/2012 9:17:38 PM

Did you look into my eyes in my profile picture.. does that not tell you all you need to know? Right now I'm enjoying a glass of vintage burgundy wine. As I find red wines to be my preference. Dressed in a black satin night gown I will now go to sleep. Dreaming, for that is the one comfort that this world can offer me. 


10/1/2012 7:44:49 PM

I don't really have much to say today except for the fact that I am real and waiting...


9/28/2012 6:59:18 PM

Who will free me from my prison. 


9/26/2012 9:25:51 PM

What to say what to say.....um how about the truth...im a slut in the bedroom but beyond that I just want to let the girl inside of me out and be graceful in all things.....


9/25/2012 4:46:49 PM

9/18/2012 1:39:07 PM

Hanging out in my room not doing much, work was pretty slow today. I'm so tired I think I'm just going to lie down and take a nap. So tired...


9/16/2012 7:40:36 AM

Im off to work it's been quite a long week....Im not sure I have anything real to say at the moment.....


9/11/2012 12:55:45 PM

Who am I, What am I doing with my life, Where am I going? questions I ask myself on a daily basis.


9/9/2012 7:30:19 AM

Okay so I was offered a chance to live in a harem and work a menial job at fast food or something similar....guys I am not that way.. I have a job and a future. I work at a museum....yeah that''s right.


9/7/2012 6:32:00 PM

Okay so I took some new photos and posted them today..I'm pretty happy with how they came out. I think they represent the real me without showing all the explicit pictures. I mean I got so many responses from them alone. I didn't click with everyone I talked to and some even ignored me after I responded back but ooh well. I'm still in good spirits. 


9/4/2012 3:23:17 PM

The hair is fake but the sentiment is true...

 

9/2/12

Are there any real honest men out there? I'm must say that I am unimpressed thus far. You guys want me to call you "master" or have me recite lines of suppression to try and brainwash me. Yell at me on camera to do dirty things or to even turn on my cam when I hate doing that most of all. I go to work and then I come home and I hope against all hope that I might see a message in my Inbox from someone who isn't perverted or acting on ill intentions. I'm intelligent and I'm not ashamed to state so. It's not a matter of pride but a strength that keeps me alive. I was raised with morals and good manners. I trained myself to have grace in all things I say and do. I'm a good person. I will never call anyone master, nor should you ever hope to say that you own me. I have never dated but once when I was 14, though I still have a longing for relationships. True love...as pathetic as that sounds does exist..and not having someone..well that's the worst thing imaginable. I come from a somewhat wealthy family. I'm not trying to impress you. I'm poor as my living conditions will prove it. I work for everything I have and own. I became the black sheep at a very young age. My parents love me and that's enough for me. So telling me that your rich or something similar will not make a difference. If you have read this far and haven't formed an opinion of me yet..well be careful. They're so many people in this world. I will make you this one promise..I will never tell you a lie.  

 

8/29/12

So where am I now? Well school is back in full swing..I'm not attending though I had the chance and blew it yet again..next time I wont. Im putting my foot down on my future. I may not look like a girl with out the make up and clothes but I am one. I know this to be true because I move from day to day knowing that every sound I make or breath I take is a lie. I truly believe that there might be a reason to why I am like this. Trapped I nay be but I'm going to do my best to change my conditions.

 

I finally realize that only I can change my life, I've been searching the Internet for years hoping to meet someone who could do that for me, but that person doesn't exist, He never did. You see, I've created the ultimate fantasy where I have a new father who treats me like his little girl and has his way with my in a kind and gentle manner. At the same time though I'm not a slave but he provides for me and even lets me date boys my own age if I wanted to. I think that I have finally given up on this because I know I can be more than just a sex object or a whore. I want to travel the world, help people who are less fortunate than myself, Give back large and small. I keep wondering if I had been born a regular girl where my life would be headed, I guess that doesn't really matter either, All I know is that I will be real. I will show the world who I really am. I can't wait to meet a guy who understands that I am free and I will become myself one way or another...but I will not be a slave..Im better than that. 


8/28/2012 3:27:52 PM

8//28/12 

 

Okay so not much is going on in my life right now. just living a lie everyday. It's hell but I have to deal with it with as much courage and bravery that I can muster.


8/18/2012 12:42:44 PM

Fakes and men who dont know what they want.....im so real and so willing...it will never happen will it?


8/17/2012 9:20:42 AM

IM just so tired of being alone and being led around by  fakes

 Im a girl trapped in a mans body/ not a cd or a transvestite. 


8/16/2012 4:20:34 PM

I have nothing that I can say that could possibly mean anything.


8/15/2012 4:14:38 AM

Not sure if anyone is really paying attention or not but i have to be at work by 10...im going to be playing with myself till then and most def after. I just woke up.


8/14/2012 9:03:20 PM

8/14/2012 11:52:57 AM

idk i have a hard time facing reality and that just seems like my ultimate fantasy to have a daddy that give me a very girly posh room that i can relax in all day and play with myself and do other things while im not being used for sex, while taking hormones and becoming a little mynx. it just its what i think about all the time. seriously like all the time. and its never seems possible and guys like to make promises and then change from how they were acting previous. Today I got off from work ad I  have to let you know im about to get off for my third time today im just watching netlfix and jacking and playing with my boypussy... this is what i mean by relax while im waiting for my daddies cock things like that. and 


8/13/2012 6:33:39 AM

SO I woke up today. It's my day off. Im not going to do anything except stay in my house mostly my hole in the wall room I live in..the only place I can be myself. I know In my profile it says that I want to be a cum slut slave..well I wish I could just be a girl. I just ugh idk I'm tired..


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exoticferrari
 
 Age: 26
 Albany, New York