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Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy! |
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Seriously considering taking down my profile. Need to work out who and what I truly am. Head is messed up. |
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Seriously considering taking down my profile. Need to work out who and what I truly am. Head is messed up. |
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Sometimes sessions go a bit wrong. It isn't always fireworks and long luxurious swims around in sub space. Sometimes the equipment plays up, a host of little things add up to both sub and Dom being frustrated and having to give up as they are beaten by the clock.
BUT this doesn't mean that anyone is to blame or that the two protagonists shouldn't play again.
We learn from our mistakes and we move on from them.
Until next time... |
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Why have I waited so long?
That is a question I have been asking myself for the last few hours.
Spent a fantastically painful and degrading couple of hours with a very experienced and extremely competent Dom this afternoon and I am still grinning 2 hours after the session ended. I have been admiring the rope marks and bruises on my breasts and buttocks and the grin gets bigger.
We talked a little at the start of the session (while I had use of my tongue to speak) about how long it has been since I played. A year! Longer for rope work! God how I have missed it!!!!
I am not collared to this Dom, and am still open to meeting a Master, however, if I get to play with him again I will be squealing with excitement and apprehension for at least a week in advance!!!
Happy khrysalis today! |
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Never has a fuckdoll been so happy!
Re-united with my Master after 6 long weeks. We have re-negotiated our relationship and are forging a path forwards, having both learned a lot from our near miss. Things are different. I have changed and grown but it is glorious and wonderful to be back at his feet.
My heartfelt thanks go out to all those who sent kind words of wisdom and offered your advice. It has meant more than you can know and has offered me marvelous perspective.
I am more confident and more self aware now. I am a submissive, but a strong one! I will make my Master proud. |
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I miss my Master.
I long to hear his voice and to submit to his will once more.
There is such a long way to go and so much talking to be done. But I believe. The bittersweet darkness we have plumbed together could not have been in vain. We can share it again.
I believe.
If you read this Master..... I miss you. |
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It has been almost 3 weeks now since I have seen my Master. Last session did not go well. I appreciate that sometimes things go badly but it upset me a lot.
Master has a new sub now too, one who he is very excited about playing with. She offers him things I can't apparently. Although he and the new girl are keen or me to play with them I don't feel I want to. Call it insecurity or hyper-sensitivity but I can't pretend I want to have anything to do with the new girl. The dynamic has changed between my Master and me and I feel my needs as a newbie sub are not really being met ans that my submission is no longer valued all that highly. Perhaps I am being unreasonable to expect my Dom to pay me 100% attention during 1-1 sessions with me and not be texting the new girl.
Is it possible to re-negotiate from this position?
If anyone out there can offer any advice I would love to hear it!
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Be careful what you wish for!
Spent a frustrating few days after Christmas waiting to see my Master, prohibited from reaching orgasm but commanded to pleasure myself 3 times a day! All I could think of was the sweet release of being allowed to climax. Little did I know what I had in store for me!
Last night's session saw me shared by my master with a novice Dom with whom we are both aquainted. Being used as their doll, their toy to experiment on and explore nearly blew my mind, but still I was not allowed to cum. They took me so deeply into the world of darkness that I lost track of time and my surroundings. I could only feel the pain and see (when my eyes were not covered) the malicious pleasure on their faces as they discussed the next torment.
I said at the start, be careful what you wish for. I would have promised ANYTHING to orgasm at the start of the session....by the end I was crying and begging to STOP cumming!...This morning I can barely move! Every muscle and tendon was stretched to breaking point last night. Be VERY careful what you wish for this festive season.
This journal entry is a dedicated thank you to my Master, an accomplished and experienced Dom who is coming to know parts of me that even I didn't know existed, and to T, a novice Dom with a natural born talent for sadistic torture in equal measure with pleasure.
I hope that 2008 will see me swimming the dark waters we shared last night, ever deeper and deeper still under your firm but subtle guidance.
Love, honour and obedience.
L x |
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2 sessions in with new Master. Have experienced things I never thought I would and am looking forward with eager anticipation and a little aprehension to the next session.
I was late to the session last night and was punished. I feel like I've been put through a mangle this morning! It's WONDERFUL!!!! |
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