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Hello :) Truth be told, I find some of these profiles rather goofy. So I've decided to rewrite mine to make it without pretense or guile. I just want to describe what I am, what I am looking for and if it catches the eye of the right person, great and if not then that is okay too. I don't really like the idea of being a part of a scene, or going to munches or getting super involved into the bdsm subculture. I don't want to learn the lingo or secret handshakes of it all. To me all that seems goofy and boyscoutish. I like to call such people "boyscouts in leather". To each his own of course, but that just isn't me. Now, why I am here. I don't know if I can call meself dominant. For the most part I do not care about affairs of others nor about fighting everyone to be the top dog in the group. I have my own agenda and my own goals, and that I will fight for, but I have no desire to dominate for it's own sake. However, if a group lacked leadership, I would always find myself frustrated and begun organizing and directing others. But if there already was a good leader then I would happily do the bare minimum required. I am rather self-absorbed and selfish. Everywhere I look it is pointed out to me that these sre horrible traits that need changing. But I am for mosr part set in my ways. I find personal change extremely difficult, even for my own sake. I think I could be kind and caring at times, but I am not naturally attuned to the feelings of others. I could not live with a dominant woman. I had experience with that, and it was a nightmare - we fought tooth and nail over everything, and I mean everything. We both had an idea of how things should be done and neither would yield an inch. It was an unhappy place for both of us, so we parted ways. So, I have learned from it and now would like to meet a gal that does mind letting someone have their way in things. Ideally, someone patient, selfless and service oriented. I very much find it a wild thrill to be served and obeyed, and it satisfies me on a deep emotional level. I am not looking for a "brat" type that needs to be constantly held in check. I seek someone who wants to serve, who wants to become a part of someone else, an extension of another... I would like to mention that I also crave inflicting suffering on others. I very much would enjoy bringing my gal to tears and humiliation. I very much get off on emotional or physucal suffering. I very much like sodomy because it puts one person in heaven while another has to suffer through hell, which for me is a wet dream come true. Naturally I tend to gravitate towards meaner, abusive even, sex. Ideally, I am looking for a doormat to wipe my feet on. An emotional and physical masochist that craves being ground into the floor and spat on. But I do not know if such person exists... I certainly haven't met one yet and I see many people implying that such a person is nothing more than a figment of imagination of a fevered sadistic mind... If you are out there, I hope my words spoke to you, and that they move you enough to give me a message - I would love to even simply chat with such being if exists. Thank you for reading, and good lyck in your search :)

6/1/2013 6:01:45 PM It was awful. The cheap motel room smelled of pot and everything had a worn look about it. The call girl was no exception. Yet, the sheer revulsion of situation, the feeling of nauseousnes, it all added to the allure of situation. A part of me screamed in anguish. And a part of me was filled with warmth like no other. I missed that. I needed that. I needed things unhinged, the safety of normality distorted, I needed the high and the thrill... That was years ago... But the need for awfulness never stopped. Then I had the other... For a while... She is on her knees and saliva is everywhere, disgusting bubbles of it slithering down the unfinished breakfast... A human being in distress, choking, gagging, crying and yet... Taking the shaft deeper and deeper each time with a look of terror and shame. So disgusting yet so sweet and stimulating. There is a mental snapshot of it, but the image is getting blurry... And I hunger again for fun and wickedness... I did not wish for this. But it is who I am. I don't struggle to understand or change... I just struggle to accept what already is. Truth be told, I do not feel like a good human being. I don 't like facing myself in the mirror. But I guess I have to see and accept myself for what I am, even if everyone I know cannot.