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I am a DOMINANT... Not a Sadist!
I am a professor of Anthropology (retired) considered by many to be an intellectual resource to the Alternate Life Style Communitiy. I have testified in court about D/s and BDSM Issues.
There is a big difference between dominant and domineering, as well as between humility and humiliation, and between submissive and passive.
There is no greater gift than submission, but there is no pleasure in being served by a weak person with poor self-esteem.
It is My role to guide, instruct, and assure the physical and emotional well-being of my submissive counterpart. Therefore, I only engage a woman who can demonstrate character and commitment... and I never abuse her trust in mine.
Kinglizard
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Being "MASTER" is about INFLUENCE and AUTHORITY
A Dominant's role assumes Authority within the D/s relationship and His influence can have a positive or negative effect on his submissive partner. This little Essay is an attempt to summarize the "good, bad and the ugly" of D/s styles.
Some years ago I came up with what I call the "The ABC's of Power Exchange:
(A) stands for: Adoration... a relationship based upon love, respect, honor and desire to please.
(B) stands for Benefit... a relationship based upon shared or mutual gain, simply a bargain between counterparts with agreed upon value to both.
(C) stands for Coercion... a relationship based upon physical force, threat, fear, and avoiding discomfort or punishment.
A Dominant who prefers Force is a "fist in your face" tyrant. Coercion may achieve short-term results, but it produces a long-term drop in morale and undermines self-esteem in a submissive. Intimidation such as, "Do this or you will be punished," is a dictatorial style and I believe demonstrates a weak and insecure person. Manipulation of a sub using tricks and lies, is another coercive and one-sided style of Domination. Perhaps the Dominant gains what He desires, but the sub cannot understand what has happened or express her own imagination, initiative and eagerness to serve her Master. Co-dependent relationships fall into this category and a submissive who tolerates this style is likely to harbor resentment and unlikely to respect her Dominant, in the long run.
Many Doms use bargaining and negotiation, a "give and take" style of influence. This is very common in "players" and it promotes fairness in D/s partnerships. The good news is, bargains can be reasonably effective for both Dom and sub, as D/s emotions and instincts are evoked without great risk to either partner. The downside is that "keeping score" tends to occur, and bargains can only last as long as both agree they are fair. I have noticed that many Dominants use this style to justify "trading up" and leave a sad and misused sub behind. The other problem is, it will eventually occur to the sub, that she has simply made a DEAL and is in control of her own fate. This awareness causes underlying doubt and stress, as she knows that she isn't truly submitting 100%.
The Dominant who realizes that true submission arises from love and trust, (Adoration) accepts His responsibility to treasure and protect the D/s relationship. Authority is granted out of trust and respect and the highest form of influence is INSPIRATION. It seems to Me that it's much better to stir the heart of a submissive and appeal to her emotions using persuasion, reason, wit, charm, education, logic, and above all LOVE. This is difficult, as words (eloquence) and ways (actions) must be congruent. When a sub truly feels the emotional bond between herself and her Master, whatever tasks He asks of her will be a pleasure for her. When she is logically convinced and emotionally certain, that her Master loves her and wants what is best for her, she becomes self-motivated. An ADORING Sub will do whatever she can to serve and please her Master.
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Reintroducing Myself here. Hello to old friends and new.
Best
Kinglizard
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| Age: 25 |
| San Antonio,
Texas |
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