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MistressJett
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SayCatharsis
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| "I'M ONLY LOOKING FOR FINANCIAL SLAVES
TO GIVE ME MONEY! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
-Every 3rd Domme Profile on Collarme
My girlfriend and I have a common story. We graduated from college, found work, and pay bills.
We're both professional artists.
I make comics and sell my wood carvings.
She is a seamstress and occasionally paints.
We're both nerds; she loves Sailor Moon, superheroes, musicals, and erotic art.
I love Godzilla, Star Trek, computer games and movies.
...she likes movies too, duh.
We can be very social when we want to be but mostly stay at home and work on our various projects, assuming we're not completely exhausted.
We're cute! We're young! We're liberal!
What's not to like?
* * *
Submissives will find us to be a nurturing couple. We want to see you at your best, and if you aren't doing your best at tasks we give than there will be disciplinary consequences.
Please read our latest journal posts for more information.
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Every time I read "I am a Fin-Dom" there's a part of me that thinks "Finnish?" |
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My darling Alex and I are very bemusedly searching for a Dominant lady to help us with our roles. Alex would like to learn a more dominant role and I need to be taught to be more submissive.
I can't speak for Alex, I am not sure precisely what she wants. In fact I'm not totally sure what I want either. We're both kinky, we both enjoy BDSM erotica etc. We've scened together more times that I know of but still each time something seems missing.
I am stubborn. A brat. Defiant. That is my way, even though I fantasize about being completely submissive. Part of that comes from trust issues, another part comes from being taller than most everyone I know. There's probably some ingrained mysogny in there too.
The Domme in my head would be older, but of course we're always flexible.
12 is too young. Can't be 12. Don't be obscene!
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Going to Cape Cod for vacation. Super stoked.
I want six messages waiting for me when I get back.
Get on that please. Something flattering. |
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It's official. My love and I are now actively seeking a third for a kinky threesome. She will likely do most of the hunting. |
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Due to our busy schedules we aren't actively seeking play partners or a submissive.
You approach us.
Here are our rules:
• You have to be female (sorry boys, her rule not mine!)
• An online courtship would proceed a successful introduction.
• You would have to be willing to relocate, or travel in the very least. |
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Alex and I just forever altered our sex lives with a single purchase. Behold:
http://www.specialty-medical.com/INV91-2.html
I don't know why I've never seen this on any sex toy sites.
The box we got features an elderly couple smiling, and now we know what they're so happy about.
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We've been getting a lot of views from "straight dominant couples." But I always question these profiles because there is never a picture of the 2nd partner. It's always a string of photos of a woman (usually headless) flaunting her body or whatever bondage gear they have.
What's up? Where's the man? |
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I've already received two applicants, both of which expressed (in a very, very limited capacity) confusion as to what We were looking for in an online submissive. Allow me to illuminate.
We are looking for someone with a webcam.
This can be through ichat, yahoo, or skype.
There will be correspondence before We ask you to cam with us, during said period you will be required to produce specific photos for Us.
We aren't talking a two month process though, ladies and gentleman, but if you think that a one liner is going to fly, if you believe we're just going to gratify your cravings whenever you feel like it, then I will insult your intelligence and then block you.
Plain and simple. |
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Jesus. Subs are explicit with their profile pictures, aren't they?
What's ironic is that, they're okay with the close up of a sharpie marker lodged up their ass, but they're a little too shy for a pic of their face.
It doesn't really add up, does it? |
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Sometimes I think that every last Domme on collarme is a sophomore in college that demands tribute. |
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I love profiles of unattractive women around here, I really do, because half of the time they read: NO PERSON, GROUP, OR ORGANIZATION IS ALLOWED TO USE ANY PART OF MY PROFILE WITHOUT MY EXCLUSIVE PERMISSION.
I've seen plenty theft around here and that sucks.
But I seriously doubt anyone is going to steal the identity of a four toothed 280lb Florida sweat lady. |
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When I see a profile that screams "PROFESSIONAL DOMINATRIX HERE, HELLO I AM PROFESSIONAL" I do expect to see some decent photos, with decent costumes
Personally I like casually dressed dominant women. The idea is that these women are so dominant that they don't need whips and leather. Those are the kind of women I'd love to be dominated by.
But if you're a professional dominatrix, than that makes your profile your professional advertisement, your portfolio as it were. And if that's the case then it's entirely UN-professional to have blurry photos of yourself in sweater and jeans hanging out on a couch.
Don't get me wrong, if it works for you fine. But I wouldn't hire you.
All this goes double for the submissive. |
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And then there are those marvelous profiles written by imitation Lord Byrons...
"Who am I? I am a cloud! I am a vapor! I am dominant you betcha!" |
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Not that it matters anymore, but I could never submit to anyone with a tramp stamp. |
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There is nothing more insulting to me than a 20-something year old "Mistress" demanding photographic proof of my Girlfriend. I'm not saying that there aren't millions of men lying about being in relationships, I just find it ironic that some 90 lb Pay-Pal blonde illiterate thinks they deserve respect and I don't. |
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There are three types of profile.
The first has little or no description and comes with a very poor quality photo of an attractive young lady. This is man. If it's not a man than it is a woman who looks like one.
The second is a person who is sincere. They have more than one photo, an adequate description of what they want. They are to the point, and will entertain a well written message to them.
The third profile is a small novel. It is meant to impress but mostly it's just dull or utterly arrogant. Generally these people are easily provoked. They get very upset when they don't get what they want.
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Call me naíve (which I am), but it never occurred to me that collarme was more about establishing relationships than, say, communicating as friends to one another.
Can it be true? I have been using the message boards for so long that I just figured collarme was more a community than anything else. But it's true, I never get any messages from anyone unless they want to hook up.
Perhaps I should sign up with -Life
I hear that site is more of the type that I may be looking for. But I have such nostalgia for collarme.
What to do...? |
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Chances are that I'll have little respect for you if any variant of the word "jade" is in your screen name. |
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I'm a fem boy with wires crossed with a tom-boy. I'm a sissy and a she devil all in one.
I like putting on makeup, blowing kisses and going coy. My hips never lie.
I like giant monster movies where people get crushed inside their Honda Civics. I want to put on a leather jacket, arm myself with a baseball bat and beat rapists to death.
I like being the prettiest one in the room, my posture so straight you'd think I was a trophy. I know how to tantalize with just my eyes, and bring the bacon home with my lips.
I do 96 crunches a day, 60 pushups and 40 curls with a 30 pound dumbbell. I believe in facial hair, I'll never shave my legs for anybody.
In both scenarios I'm nobody's bitch.
Think I'm attractive? Think again. I'm a raging hormonal dork with a hard on for Captain Cisco, Greenskins, and the U.E.S.C. Marathon.
I have a love hate relationship with all things science fiction and fantasy. I look excellent in anything skin tight but especially if it's chain mail. Mark Twain is my guardian angel.
The only thing bigger than my ego is my own self loathing. |
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Still having trouble trying to upload new photos. Collarme won't let me.
Grr.
But when I do finally manage it, I'm going to go under my drag persona.
Frankly I'm only on here to make friends anyway, so why would photos be of any relevance? Yeah?
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Yikes. You know something?
It never ceases to amaze me the audacity of some of the people on the forums.
It's a double edged sword with me. Because on the one hand you can get very genuine replies/advice. I've made some decent friends from the forums...
...but on the other hand, you have this overwhelming amount of people with inflamed egos that seemingly have nothing better to do but badger endlessly. I shouldn't be surprised by this behavior, but frankly I expect better from my peers.
I demand better. I'm beginning to see why the world is in such a poor state.
I love to argue, but it becomes utterly pointless. It feels like being on trial, as though I have to provide evidence to a court to affirm my innocence.
Not that I'm innocent...but who truly is?
It's all rather depressing.
I wish I could tell them to go fuck themselves, but it would accomplish nothing but besmirching my character.
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Yikes. You know something?
It never ceases to amaze me the audacity of some of the people on the forums.
It's a double edged sword with me. Because on the one hand you can get very genuine replies/advice. I've made some decent friends from the forums...
...but on the other hand, you have this overwhelming amount of people with inflamed egos that seemingly have nothing better to do but badger endlessly. I shouldn't be surprised by this behavior, but frankly I expect better from my peers.
I demand better. I'm beginning to see why the world is in such a poor state.
I love to argue, but it becomes utterly pointless. It feels like being on trial, as though I have to provide evidence to a court to affirm my innocence.
Not that I'm innocent...but who truly is?
It's all rather depressing.
I wish I could tell them to go fuck themselves, but it would accomplish nothing but besmirching my character.
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Hmmm...
So I changed my default picture, and then lost the ability to change the rest.
This means you can touch yourself to my photos a bit longer.
Lucky you.
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PHOTO CHANGE.
I've had the same default picture up from the get go. Which I think now is almost 5 years. Yikes. So yes, that image of me on the fence? I'm 17 in that picture.
Ouch.
I'm removing all my slutty pictures because, well, I'm trying not to be a slut.
And there's no need tempting those with what they can't have. Yes?
Yes.
Once again the forum has taught me valuable lessons. And yet, it's hard to hold your tongue sometimes.
Those people can't seem to fathom the concept of being 22 and mature at the same time. I would never argue that at 22, I know everything about myself. There's a lot I haven't experienced I realized.
But everyone grows up different. Trauma often times boosts the rate at which children must mentally develop. My girlfriend and I are very good examples of this. When it comes to these AGE MATTERS naysayers, we're relatively satisfied that they're going to croak before we do.
Then again, when I'm 50, I'll have probably lost all respect for the younger generations.
Lord knows I can't take high schoolers seriously.
OH AND if you miss the old photos then just send me an email, so I can laugh at you.
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...Out of curiosity. How can you be an expert at getting a massage?
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Recently had a pleasant enough session with a Domme who's name I shall reserve out of respect for her privacy.
Things started off well enough, she was very polite. She explained why exactly she DESERVED my attention, and why she wanted me to submit to her.
It was fun. We had a bit of an awkward moment when she wanted to play BEFORE I was done cleaning her house. I explained to her that it was MY duty to clean and if she wanted a shoddy job at dusting she should never have come to me.
But she explained that she looked at her finances and couldn't afford as much as she thought she would. She very nicely told me that she simply couldn't resist holding back any longer. This, I can understand.
So she tied me up with the rope I provided. It's a hypoallergenic nylon-poly blend. One of my few requirements as a professional submissive. Some people would have used hemp or some rough low grade material, but I quite simply am too valuable for that kind of crass treatment.
I recommend it for any self respecting professional sub. Dommes hate it when you show up for a session and you've another lady's rope-work still evident on your body.
She did an OKAY job tying me up, but I don't critique the Dommes until after the session.
She seemed to enjoy herself, and I provided the proper eroticism for her to do so. She untied me, I served lunch. Badda bing badda boom.
Now I'm off to Queens.
Looking forward to this one.
I'm told she actually has a pedestal for me to stand on which to display myself during a luncheon with her friends.
About time someone puts me in my place.
;)
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IS MY BIRTHDAY.
I guess I'm 22 now.
...woo and yay.
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Edited my profile.
Needless to say it leans on the satirical side.
That's right Dommes of Collarme, I'm mocking 58% of you.
Hopefully this'll chase off the morons?
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Got a lot of replies for this journal post. It was explained to me, quite simply that a LOT of subs out there actually demand crossdressing; and that Dommes have to shout it in order to get through.
So needless to say, I withdraw this post. I'm not going to delete it.
But, ya.
•••
You know, it's really interesting to me when I read "I don't do crossdressers" on profiles.
I say interesting because no Domme would ever bother to say "I don't do spanking," or "I don't do leashes." But more than one feel it necessary to clarify that they don't want their male submissives to dress as girls.
It's true that cross dressing occurs outside of the BDSM world; but within it, in context, it becomes a tool of domination...not a lifestyle.
I wouldn't call myself a crossdresser, but if Alex asked me to, I'd do it. So does that make me a submissive, or a crossdresser?
...All I'm saying is that really these confused women should write, "I don't do submissives who will dress up as women if asked."
I don't like reading "I don't do crossdressers" because it sounds to me like these gals have a problem with boys that like looking like pretty girls. But when have you ever encountered a boy like that who refuses to dress any other way?
Why can't these women be honest and type, "I'm not into crossdressing?"
These things don't really effect me anymore, but my heart goes out to all us pretty boys who get rejected just because...what? Because we'd do it, if asked?
Weird.
Weird.
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*ON VACATION FOR 2+ WEEKS. LEAVE A MESSAGE, SHOW SOME LOVE*
la la poo poo da da.
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Marriage my ass.
I'm going downstairs to get my tripod from my room when I see a Time magazine on one of the tables that reads "Unfaithfully Yours: Infidelity is eroding our most sacred institution. How to make marriage matter again."
It annoyed me so much that I found myself running upstairs again just to write this, because in all seriousness? When was marriage sacred to all the 14 year old girls that got married off to 56 year old businessmen? When was marriage sacred to all the date raped women forced to marry brutes because of pregnancy? When was marriage sacred when it's the only way out of being killed for being gay? Was there something I missed? Or did my Grandpa dislocate my Grandma's jaw out of his sacred duty as a husband?
I really can't stand the idea that marriage is the one thing that we should really be holding onto. But while I can imagine that divorce can be very destructive, I can't think of a hell worse than being married to someone you don't love.
It's funny because the leading cause for divorce is dealing with the debt left over from the god damn marriage ceremony. Couples can't seem to cope. Maybe it has something to do with the idea that this marriage has to be perfect because IT'S THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. With that kind of pressure I suppose maybe I could be lead to buy five hundred dollar paper invitations too...
Marriage isn't a sacred institution, it's a business.
And I can't think of a blow to the institution worse than the reputation it's already developed for the past two hundred years or so.
At the end of the day if you marry someone you don't love and get a divorce? That's a fucking good decision.
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Hey! You should check out my comics!
You should comment.
You should follow it.
You should tell your friends.
Trying to be famous!
http://sheepspond.blogspot.com/
or
http://sheepspond.tumblr.com/
I recommend you pursue the first link. That's the mother.
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I used to relish shooting down older men. I still do in fact, but it looks like they've actually been reading my profile because I generally don't get a lot of attention from them.
That fact is that, I also enjoy shooting down dommes. I am deliberately spelling that with a lower case "D."
Because, yes, you might be dominant, and I might be submissive but:
1) I'm unavailable (indestructable)
2) Proper interractions require a level of respect on both sides, that's more common courtesy than BDSM rules.
3) You can't spell?
I keep getting these emails from dommes that give me petty little compliment as though each word they write is a nugget of pure gold. Only I'm not begging for a hand out, and I know how lovely I am. I didn't ask for your attention.
It's not that I dislike compliments, but if you're going to take the time to write a decent one, that's one thing...but these two second messages are worthless to me.
And in all seriousness, I expect better grammar and spelling from my "superiors."
I'm not a rebel, but ooh how I love to throw monkey wrenches in gears.
Stupid dommes will be punished.
Their haughty reactions make me grin.
How dare I, indeed!
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Chances are that after college I will begin a career as a writer/illustrator of comics. My comics that is.
None of that Marvel "connect the dots" stuff.
I just got done updating my interests. I've excluded everything outside the realm of BDSM, because never in my life was I interested in knowing those kinds of things when searching for people.
Honestly, if I said I loved movies (which I do) what does that really tell you?
You really can learn a lot more about someone from a journal entry.
I'm always surprised by how many older people around here express levels of illiteracy.
I have always been inclined to pursue mature people, which tends to lead my towards older women. But you go online and sometimes it is as though they've never gone to school.
Not that any of that matters now.
The fact is I've never been so happy in my entire life.
I think about her, I think about how she feels towards me, and I immediately smile.
We're two kinky people, but we're so into each other that we're lucky if all our clothes are off before we start going at it.
...Then again sometimes we leave them on, on purpose.
I imagine that as time passes by we'll explore every single fetish/fantasy.
We're already excited about the notion of gender swapping.
I shall have to go to the forums for advice.
You know something? This is really the only place where I can safely express these kinds of things. Everyone else is either too jealous, to apathetic, or too vanilla to hear anything of what I have to say.
Granted, it's a frightful bore to listen to anyone rant about how much in love they are. But it's rather like a torture to not have that outlet.
Our lives in many ways are centered around establishing relationships one way or another. When you have a good one it is such a confirmation.
It's as though the universe is reaching out and going "you did it!"
We can't wait to live with one another but we have one more year of college to go through.
Oy vey.
I've got a cold. :(
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I adore this website, I really do. Well. I adore a good perctenage.
Ok.
I appreciate the intelligent women on this website. But compared to other places this site is positively teeming with them. I've gotten good advice, a few laughs, and had some rather intriguing interractions.
I've saved myself all my life for someone worthy enough for my affections. And I must say it's been well worth the wait. I wish I could say that I found her through this website, simply because I would like to contribute to the success stories. But I can't.
And hell no, we're not polyamorous.
I don't do that.
I don't share.
I'm not for sharing.
Anyway! We're a classy couple and here's a poem I'll share with you. I'm only adding this post to say I'm still alive and active on this site.
Blimey!
With the tides I meandered as a fish
swimming the boundless depths, a futile flight.
And though my brawny tail does flick and swish
I seek a thing remote, beyond my sight.
Such torment! And my hunger so vast
as to consume all purpose and design
that I might save myself for some great fast
so as to come across my meal sublime!
But until that day I resolve to starve,
never abandoning my conviction.
Untold desire for meat to chew and carve,
to sate my wild and frantic addiction.
For I can hardly sway such ample want,
to smell your scent nearby; Oh what a taunt!
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I am no longer available (and loving it), but here is my old profile, as I must now replace it:
I am a submissive only to women, because they're better. I'm very
picky about my males, if I don't find you attractive then you don't
stand much of a chance. Attractive men = not too far from my age.
Second: though I am a submissive, I can have expectations as well. And
I expect my Dommes to be equally if not more intelligent than me.
Third: I will never submit to anyone financially.
Funny how things turn out. I'm quite a vain person, and yet I'm never
quite sure what to write when talking about myself. Most people seem to
like me because of my hair, and that's a shame. I could describe my
kinks, but ultimately I'd rather just please the other person. So yeah
I'm into stuff like smothering or body worship...but it all seems too
self indugent for me to ask for. I don't ask as a submissive, I obey.
I'm actually pretty experienced in BDSM for my age. I was first exposed
to it at 16 and have had at least five owners. I'd like to think of
myself as an intellectual, docile, and funny. My current picture is
only up because I don't have any good ones lying about. That's life.
People have told me that I'm sexy, but how can I trust them if they
haven't tried to have sex with me aye? That's also life. Go figure. My
zodiac sign is Cornbread.
Here are my restrictions again, in HAIKU form!
Picky about boys
Submit only to women
But not with money
Bort bort bort bort.
That last bit isn't a haiku...I just thought it'd fit in nicely.
Older men will be shot down, rudely.
You have been warned.
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Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday dear meeee.
Happy Birthday to me!
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You shouldn't make a big deal about me being articulate. Yes, I realize that most people my age online are complete morons. But I think it's more or less obvious that I am not among them. So really, compliments in regards to my basic literacy aren't really necessary.
Speak highly of my looks and I'm practically yours. What can I say? We live in a superficial world.
I'm so pleased that Obama won, I smile every time I think about it. It is as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And yet...again...we live in a superficial world.
After 911 people gathered in unison to mourn the loss. People of different colors, backgrounds and creeds. All together. Then they dispersed.
This time they celebrated. Will they disperse?
Regardless I am still looking forward to what the future holds.
I'm sitting next to a jerk, by the way. My personal computer is being repaired and now I am forced to use the various computers around campus. In the computer lab of my dorm there are two boys that are always here.
I'm annoyed. Those computers don't belong to them. Last night my buddy Dom really had to use a computer, all of them were taken. He needed to email his mother about his dad who is in the hospital. And what were they doing? Playing flash games and watching youtube.
I don't claim to be better than they are. But then again I'm not always here, am I?
One of them even makes noises. He doesn't hear it because he has headphones on. He reacts to what he is doing, audibly. I can only stand it because I too have headphones.
It's okay though. I've immortalized him in a comic. He'll forever be known as a jerk.
Speaking of jerks I better sign off and get some work done.
There is no news. You should message me. You should.
Do it.
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I thought about putting this particular entry on a number of sites that might host it. Livejournal, facebook. But I was very hesitant because quite frankly I don't want to give off the wrong impression. This post is not an attempt to catch the eyes of girls, or even like-minded boys. This post is not me bragging either. It certainly is not a "how-to" post neither.
I simply love oral sex. I love it. And I'll tell you why:
If Sigmund Freud is correct about life then I wasn't breast fed enough as a child. Quite frankly I don't even like to think about being breast fed period. ...I thought about it, I digress. Freud's theory is basically that people lacking in maternal care develop "oral fixations." They derive pleasure from things being around or in their mouths. So chances are if you've ever: chewed a paper clip, tonged a pen cap, or sucked your thumb longer than you should have then you might just have an oral fixation...according to Freud.
The problem is that Freud's analysis of the human psyche is very general, and he attributes very universal human behavior to very specific things. It's a flawed system because supposedly the opposite of having an oral fixation (according to Freud) is being "anal retentive." I am definitely also anal retentive. In that respect it's a lot like the Zodiac.
I love how people buy into Zodiacs like it was the real deal, when really you could probably relate to being a Pisces as much as you could being a Taurus. I'm a Sagittarius and according to my zodiac I "enjoy freedom." I'm sorry but doesn't everyone enjoy freedom? So I looked up what Virgos like and I guess I'm a Virgo too because Virgos have a thing for hygiene. Go figure, I was born in two different months.
Anyway whatever the case may be, it's true I have an oral fixation. I love to chew things, I love to know the texture of things on my tongue. Chances are if you look around your desk I've probably chewed on every portable object you see. Though not yours, specifically, that would be a little too interesting. My idea of foreplay is getting to really know you, with my mouth. The reactions I've received are pretty encouraging.
I more or less "get" things when it comes to my drive.
But here's one thing that I just don't get. A guy dumps his girlfriend because she refuses to suck his dick. To me, that makes sense. I'd do the same thing. But a girl accepting the idea that cunnilingus is too gross for her boyfriend to consider is more or less common-place? How does that work? That makes no sense to me.
I did some research and among us youngin's 90% of sexually active males can expect to receive oral sex from their partners. Are you ready for this? Only 70% of sexually active females can expect oral sex from their partners.
There is a 20% oral sex gap!
There are many reasons why I love to go down on girls, only I won't list them. But my number one reason is because they don't see it coming. My enthusiasm is a rare commodity for them. I believe the American female to be deprived. Some have no idea what they're missing, and others are actually brainwashed into feeling that their vagina is too gross anyway! Amazing!
I say spoil them rotten. I say one orgasm is not good enough. I say it's not a treat, it's god damn proper.
Now, I can't really talk about giving blowjobs. I love giving blowjobs just as much as I love going down on someone but I haven't done it in years. You see, a boy has to be worthy of a blowjob for me. It must be earned. I have yet to meet a girl, however, that doesn't deserve an oral orgasm.
Ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
I have had more than one friend come up to me and excitedly tell me how their boyfriends actually went down on them, like it's a big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal, girls should fucking expect oral sex.
Ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
I once hooked up with a girl freshman year but we had no condoms. I told her I'd just go down on her and she asked me if I was being serious.
Ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
I went to "I Love the Female Orgasm," last year. It was a lecture on the female orgasm with details on how to achieve it and lists of books describing in greater length how to hone your techniques. I was one of maybe 15 boys in a room that could seat 200.
Ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
I'm out!
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The following might seem angsty, but it's more matter-of-fact than anything. But know that.
I really don't think I'll ever find a Mistress. If it's not the location then it's the expectations. Either yours are too high, or mine are.
You expect me to be on your wait and call and attend college at the same time. I expect you not to be a jerk.
Don't be a jerk. What a jerk.
Did I tell you I lost my virginity? It was amazing. A-mazing. If I said it before then it bears repeating.
For so long it astounded people that I was still a virgin while having the experience/knowledge that I have. Quite frankly it baffled me too, but the problem was that nobody was worthy enough to deflower me. I wasn't going to bang in the bushes for just anyone, you know. I'm not that kind of girl.
I was not inactive for all those years however, far from it. There was lots of fooling around, necking...and I more or less knew how to take it further when the time came.
I wish you could title these posts.
Then came the Seminar "I Love the Female Orgasm." A touring couple of sex educators going from college to college, specifically talking about women and climaxing. I went, and was one of six boys in a room filled with girls of all shape and size.
But I'm almost positive I took the most notes. And then when they passed out sheets on how to find out more, that's what I did.
I had confidence that I could show a girl a good time if they wanted me to. And in Cape Cod, someone did.
My fondest recollection is doing it in a boat, in a pond, under a full moon. Not our boat, but someone elses. Risky business, that. Especially when they let out the dog. Wow.
And then we were back from vacation, but still doing it. I'm going back to college and I have to say I'm going to miss the sex. Not as much as the girl though.
Still available. Still open minded.
All I'm saying is that I likely won't find a Mistress is all. Quite frankly I don't see it happening which is a real shame because I would so enjoy it!
Sigh.
Maybe this is an angsty post. Sorry about that.
I got a Eurypterid shirt. Amazing. Amazing.
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Another reminder of how the internet is a rather trivial thing is Collarme's own Video Chat.
My god.
My god.
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I have returned!
As always Cape Cod proved itself the reigning champion for the "My Most Favorite Place to Be" award. I love it there. Beaches, forests, and marshes? Forget it.
It's funny, I think the trip might have even changed my perspective on a few things. I came home after two weeks eager to check my various emails after having none at all. I did and then realized that compared to my days in Cape Cod it didn't really mean much to me. I browsed through 64 new youtube comments, a couple of myspace messages and a single memo on collarme and it occured to me. You know? I don't care too much.
I'm confident that this new regard for the computer will wear off, but I'm not sure I want it to.
I learned a couple other things too. My brother usually comes with the family to enjoy the vacation but because he lives in Seattle now he can't, and hasn't been able to for two years now. Last year I went with just my parents and didn't have anyone to talk to for two weeks my age. It wasn't bad, I got a lot of quality thinking done but it was kind of lonely. This year my folks allowed my best friend to come along. We have fun with each other. I lost my virginity.
In fact, I even had sex on a boat in a pond under a full moon. Bullfrogs serenading us and everything. I challenge you guys to top that. Hunah hunah!
ANYway I learned that when I wear a condom it takes a very long time for me to climax. I honestly didn't care at all because I was capable then of giving my friend multiple orgasms in a row. It's handy! Am I wrong?
I actually got a cramp from thrusting.
Hey. Does this make me a man now? Because I don't think it does.
She wanted me to come though. On the second to last day she finally found the position that did me in. I didn't think it was possible. Whatever.
Honestly though I didn't care too much about whether or not I came. As long as she was having a good time it didn't really matter to me my own orgasm. Is that bad? I don't think it is but I can see how it'd throw someone off.
Having only had sex with one person I can't really boast. But it was mighty fine to be mutally sweaty and hearing "you're incredible" whispered into a pillow.
I'm incredible! Tee hee!
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Hey everyone! Hi there! Hi.
Do you remember me complaining about my job? Well, it's been three weeks and I haven't worked. Basically because (A) I gave my two weeks notice and (B) I got caught working on a graphic novel during my shift.
In a job like that, you can be lazy as hell as long as you look like you're doing work. It seems that drawing is the ultimate "I don't give a fuck."
I don't see the big deal I was only four pages in. Har har.
Whatever. I grew to hate that job anyway.
Only I've got to pick up my last paycheck now and I'm rather intimidated by the idea of going back.
Whatever. That's not the point of this post. The point is I gave my two weeks notice because I'm going on vacation!
That's right I'm going to be away rather soon! I'm leaving the 27th and will be gone for two weeks. So please leave a message and I'll get back to you.
Little known fact: I respond to all messages and usally reply. Unless you're like, really creepy.
There was this one guy who wanted me to lock him in a closet and starve him half to death. I told him that I would lock him in the closet but not starve him, but make him eat cake till he was good and fat. I never heard from him again.
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I find it odd that I have to say the following, only I keep having these unpleasant encounters as of late. So allow me to be frank:
I respect all women, but do not respect all Dommes. I have met pretty much three Dommes here that I respect as Mistresses.
And one of the definining qualities of these ladies is they did not approach me as though I were an inferior little toad like all the other sub men around here. I am not claiming that I am not an inferior toad-like boy, but I do not react well to presumptious howdy-doos that are meant to convince me that I'm already your property.
Because I'm not. There is a time and place for being terse and generally speaking it is not meant for first impressions.
Do I react negatively towards every single message that doesn't treat me like the prize that I am? No. In fact I welcome reality checks (as I am quite vain), but I am nobody's footstool until they have earned my respect.
Calling me a slave before I am your slave doesn't help.
This post is advice, as I don't feel comfortable telling Dommes what to do. But I am a sensitive, fiesty lot. And I'll spit on your shoes if you push me the wrong way.
...not that any of the Dommes I'm talking about would ever go through the trouble of actually reading any of these posts.
Oh hey I lost my virginity by the way!
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I have two accounts as I've said before. There are people around here that say that I have four or eight (lord knows why) but really it's just the two. My submissive (and more active) account and my switch account.
And so I check both every day, and every time I do I naturally see the face of some profile that has just been updated. Usually it's a submissive for the Arthropod account.
Except it's the same person every time.
Every damn time.
And it annoys me because not only is her profile picture especially unflattering, but all her profile says in giant letters are:
"**update** i am no longer looking"
I'll be honest it annoys me. She should give the other girls a chance to be at the top of the list. Girls that have good pictures and are looking.
If I were taken by someone (I feel as though that's never going to happen) I wouldn't take the trouble of deleting all the information about myself just to type "not looking." I might not even say that I wasn't looking.
Is that dishonest? I don't think so.
But then again I've always been a fickle sort.
I wish I could tell her to go away, but that's ridiculous.
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Jesus christ it's hot here in the ROC!
Oh my god!
Zero relief. Zero. And I have work at five. Ugh.
Hello to you, reader.
Since I have discovered my dominant side I have had many fun adventures and exploitations. Yes. But I have never forgotten for a second that it doesn't make me a Dom. I have never let on that I am lacking a submissive side.
I think though that it was necessary to have a reminder of this side though, since honestly I've been doing a lot more dominating than submitting.
Enter job.
I am slave to a restaurant. Not a dish washer, or a bus boy. It really is more like a slave position.
Day in and day out I wash pots, pans, dishes. I sweep and mop the floors. I take the endless piles of trash out. I slice, dice, broil, fry, grill.
And for what? 7.50 an hour in a kitchen that's 250 degrees in certain places.
I come home drenched in sweat every day.
It has been pretty brutal but I've learned so much.
Like you know this whole thing on being Green and how everyone acts like it's their personal responsibility to save the planet? The reality is that it's these companies, even restaurants that produce a shit ton of waste. Think about it. If anything we should be putting more pressure on local government and not ourselves. Either way I'm never eating at the Tap and Mallet again.
I've also learned a lot about my stanima.
Perhaps it's because I've never had a real Mistress before but quite frankly, how hard can it be?
Sorry that was a touch insolent. Punish me, why don't you?
What is it with "dominant" girls who claim to be dominant and then are putty in my hands in person? What is that?
The summer boredom is getting to me, I think I may return to life on the forums.
Maybe.
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So.
Of the journals I have online this blog recieves second place for the honorable "most neglected journal" award.
Sorry about that. You see, as it is collarme, a website about bdsm, I figured I'd only make posts about my life in regards to...well...bdsm.
That said, I have news.
You're going to kill me, I know it.
I'm beginning to question whether or not I'm truly submissive.
Ok scratch that.
I'm pretty sure I'm a switch.
Yeah, sorry about that. It's kind of embarassing to admit that now after writing all those whiney posts about people telling me I'm not really a sub. Oh well.
The fact is that I was not denying my dominant side. I wasn't lying. I honestly didn't know I had one. But it seems I do.
After fooling around with friends and aquaintences it seems I can very naturally dominate. Does that make me a Dominant, no.
I still wouldn't really know what to do if I tied someone up. Well. Ok I would but not if I tied them up in a chair.
So what I think I'm going to do is make another profile. Not sure whether to make it a dominant or switch profile. I'm leaning towards making it a switch profile as I'm not confident enough to play dominant without exposing myself as submissive as well.
Because the fact is that: yes I still am very submissive and I will submit to someone completely if it happens like that.
So there you go.
Sorry it took so long for me to figure it out, but the fact is that I wasn't out there experimenting for a really long time.
Ta da!
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new pictures by the way...
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Hello again, forgive me for it has been too long I must admit.
I have been altogether soaked in work for college and work for art. On top of this I find myself completely obsessed with Riven now, perhaps one of the deadlier things to be obsessed over. Such is life.
Today is my last day in Rochester until I come back for my long summer break. I hate last days, I am unable to truly relax during them.
Despite being on youtube, despite having over forty videos...I have yet been extended a request to produce a reality television series on VH1. How disappointing. I am not sure which of my next two strategies to pursue: either I can become more serious/intellectual with my videos, or I can traipse around almost naked. Hummm. I can't have both.
Very used to being naked now. I work at school as a nude model and it is coming along very nicely, especially with it being the highest paying job New Paltz offers.
I will at this point say that never again I will I webcam in the nude. There is no benefit in it for me. Unless we have met in person first I shant do it. I won't. Call it defiance if you like, but I'm sick of being screwed over by faceless opportunists.
I should know better really, but I truly am susceptible to flattery. What can I say?
I have named my left nipple Sirrus, and my right nipple Achenar.
Just thought I'd tell you.
...
I am contemplating a new project. The idea is that I take a picture of my body. Then on photoshop I grid off sections, each one catagorized with the alphabet.
Then online I sell off said sections. Whoever is willing to buy a plot gets it named after them. They are not paying for ownership, just the chance to have a section of my body named after them.
This project has a great deal of potential, but at the same time questions arise.
•How much do I charge?
•Which parts are more expensive?
•How does one price a foot?
•Who do I make my body available to?
And then of course, having bought a plot...the customer has to ask: what now?
This is why I will charge cheap.
I think I will make these parts available only to friends, also, while I'm at it.
But just the same, it would be lovely to see a bidding war over my neck, with hundreds of dollars at stake, all mine all mine.
This is of course if I even do it.
Which I probably won't.
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Just added new photos! They will attract some and repulse the rest.
Three masculine ones, and one feminin one.
All are pretty funny.
One glam shot.
I do enjoy The Ohio Players.
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Goodness, two posts in two days. That's rare.
I was told something about myself by someone who doesn't know me well that I actually agree with.
A drag queen aquaintence (he's actually pretty famous, I feel honored when speaking to him) told me that I could never be a professional drag queen because I'm too much of a lady.
I agree, despite everything else about me. When I am a girl I tend to express my inner girl, and she keeps to herself and is fine dancing alone if the music is good.
*cough*
He went on to say that if I was serious though that I had to loosen up and learn a few things first. I was then invited to hang out with him and his drag queen friends.
I've seen his drag queen friends, and they are like human butterflies. My heart is all a flutter at the idea.
But still, thanks to this website I have grown accustomed to empty promises and falsities.
Even people you meet, I never have faith that I'll meet them in person despite how much I'd like to or how amazingly attractive they are. I guess that last bit factors into the desire to meet. Har har.
Are they the same?
I had a dream last night that I was a Triceratops. That's pretty different for me because mostly boys imagine themselves as Tyrannosaurus Rexes. The thing is I was just as violent. I ate my greens, then went charging about goring other dinosaurs to death for no reason.
I exclusively remember shouting "yeah! motherfucker!"
What a lovely detail. I wonder if they would act like that sometimes...
I'm sure there would be a lot more gored people if I was in fact a Triceratops.
People who talk on cell phones while they drive and neglect stop signs.
They would not be safe.
Here is a list of words that have come to mind as I wrote this post:
foreign music
facebook
corning wear
"this email is making fun of you"
drain
Nathan Fillion
What do you make of it?
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I think what I like best about the new system is how it refuses to acknowledge HTML or anything I do to prevent the text from looking the way it does after I'm finished? Yeah. That makes me look sooooo cooool.
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Oh wow.
This is my first time writing a post since the re-vamping of this site and I was honestly surprised by my current options in the font, size and style department.
Now I'm sort of indifferent.
Normally after Christmas I refuse to admit that Christmas is over. I don't force this belief on anyone else, but usually it doesn't end for me until febuary. What can I say? I really love Christmas.
This is not the case this year, which gets me wondering. Perhaps those other cases were me overcompensating for what I didn't receive or feel over the holiday.
This year, on the day after Christmas I found myself completely satisfied. I had everything I wanted. My brother was home from Seattle, and I got the two things that I really wanted but didn't expect to get.
(leather arm bracers and an aviator's cap. and yes, I will rock them)
I would like to be taught how to have sex over break. I say that because I have definitely lost my virginity. As a matter of fact, I am quite good at oral sex. It's just the other bits.
We'll see what happens.
I nabbed the free condoms from the bathroom of my parent's church (they're unitarians, duh) on Christmas Eve.
We'll see.
...
That's you're cue to offer me sex. Eeeyup.
No not really.
The fact is that I'm not at all desperate for sex, which I suppose is why I view it so casually. But it would be nice to learn the workings outside of a highschool health class. Right?
Right.
Right.
Did I mention I was on Youtube now?
Har har.
We're on the third day of Kwanzaa.
Just promise to be gentle, okay?
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Today is my birthday!
Just saying!
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Last night I went to a drag ball and had a lovely time.
I danced my ass off for four hours, went to an afterparty (not really it kind of sucked) and crashed.
Right now I kind of look like I had bad sex all night, as I didn't bother removing my makeup?
Oh well.
So yes. I lost many cards.
I lost the card for men with hard dicks grinding against me.
I also lost the card for women with fake dicks, but also hard, grinding against me.
Lost the card for someone spilling booze on me, I reckon I could've done without that one.
Lost the card for being onstage at a dragball and definitely enjoying a slow dance with the host queen.
But yes.
I used to be the guy that didn't dance. And now, after two days of partying I can say that I am usually one of the first guys on the dance floor. Though I can't really say if I'm actually a good dancer.
La la. Poo poo. Da da.
I actually don't have a lot to say, so before I go I offer you a link. I am on youtube now, and if some of you care to see my face moving and saying things then feel free to check me out:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PrinceofNestaria
KAY BYE. |
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My it's been a while.
Lets talk!
Lets talk about the collarme one night stand! I think we all know what I'm talking about. But in case you don't, let me iluminate for you what I mean:
I get a message. A nice message. A nice inviting message by a Domme or a Switch (usually a switch) that says: "Hi there! You're attractive, I read your profile and I think you're really great. I'd love to discuss things with you if you're at all interested. I don't have any submissives right now and you're just too cute!"
This is more or less what they say. And I of course respond quickly and with great enthusiasm. And either via collarme or instant messenger we have a grand conversation. Truly lovely! As in "oh boy I might get me a Mistress" type thing.
Now I never jump to conclusions so wait it out. I message them or something the next day or two and I get no response. If they're online, then they're idle or busy. Either way they never respond. Never ever.
If they do respond, it's literally months later when they've given up with other submissives.
Like I said. A one night stand.
I never could imagine to expect this behavior from women, but now I do. Aint that a damn shame?
What is up with that?
I actually may have managed to score an online Mistress, but I fear it was all an elaborate scam. I might just have to take my online interest off the list. This would be the final blow of the hammer in terms of nailing in life lessons in trusting people online.
We'll see.
It HAS been a week though since I sent those photos. No response.
I just finished reading an AMAZING trilogy and I seriously, totally recommend it for everyone here. I was so thrilled by the experience of reading it that yes, I am officially plugging it. Yes.
Queen of the Orcs by Morgan Howell.
It was amazing. Amazing. You have to realize that's saying something because I avoid fantasy novels at all costs.
If you're anti-war, female-supremacist, and like good books. Then you have to read it.
***
On NPR they reported that last week they found the oldest animal alive. A 410 year old clam, which they named Ming because it began its life during the Ming dynasty. The most tragic part is, in order to find out how old it was, they had to kill it.
If that is not the harshest of ironies, then I don't know what is. How sad.
Who knows how long it might have lived if left alone?
Siiigh...
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Hey everyone!
Just wanted to say hi.
Hi there! |
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I've been complaining a lot lately, I think. So to relieve you from the anxiety of having to read another tense post, I will talk about my sex life.
Or rather, my sex life with my left hand.
I masturbate. Pretty sure I invented the concept when I was nine or ten. That was back when I used two hands instead of one, and dove soap.
If I wanted my litter of children to think masturbation was bad for you, I'd purposely get the soap that dries out the skin around your penis so it gets all flaky. I don't recall the name of that brand but it's out there. Isn't that disturbing.
I used dove though. So that's why I masturbate as much as I do now. Clearly.
It stung when it entered the urethra, but back then I figured that was simply how things naturally went down.
I have since, wisened up on my technique.
I used to brag about how much I could masturbate, how mature is that? Not much. That said, my record is 14 times in one day. It was a horrible experience that will never happen again. Very painful, that.
I do love sperm though, oh how I enjoy it. If it weren't for the sudden loss of sexual desire directly after ejaculation then I'd probably do things with it. But as such, I simply dispose of it like most people do. Though I did once put it in a jar, so I could leave it on a friend's doorstep as a prank. I thought better of it (naturally) and put it in my closet instead, where after several months, it turned brown and disgusting and smelled like death.
Where was I?
A guy I knew meticulously places his sperm in a neatly folded paper tower, and avoids touching it with his hands. I rub it off on the back of my knee. Specifically the left knee. You can tell which pants I value more than others by the frequency of semen stains on the back of the knee. They come out in the wash though.
Ironically I spilt ketchup on my fly, and it stained and looks just like sperm. My gay friends tease me about it and I think to myself "if they only knew where to look."
I feel as though chastity for me would not be an enjoyable experience. I reckon it's not supposed to be. Right?
I have figured out that I am the sort that gets tense, and grumpy without masturbation.
At first it's all fun and games, maybe for a day or two with me being really horny and grinding in my chair gently. But then it's just, not cool for anyone.
I have to go eat now so I can take my antibiotics.
Ugg! |
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I've been told by every english teacher, and every critic...that all my haikus are fundimentally...wrong.
My skills at poetry are comparible to the skills currently running the White House.
Sorry if my haikus offend your sense of art.
If it means anything, I have a nice can. |
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For once it seems that I am being looked at by more Dommes than Doms. This I am sure, is almost completely because of my posts in the forums as of late.
My first one was a smash hit though the geisha post died rather quickly.
I guess I was too demanding in my quest for answers to hypothetical questions.
Oh well.
Current events: two nights ago I severely injured my left knee. Long story short I was lifting an iron mattress frame when the frame, and my friend Mike came crashing down on my one knee. I had to go to the hospital, and was in there all day...and now I'm on crutches and antibiotics.
So if you feel the need to shower me with presents, know that the impulse is not rash or unwise. I support that impulse.
If I was a teenaged Domme? All the above wouldn't seem ridiculous of me to say. Funny how things work out.
Because, how preposterous it would be if someone like me wanted tribute! Ha!
But with the right organs I could have it made!
Sorry, I broke out into my scorn for tribute.
Soorry.
Anyway. I'm doing a lot better than I was yestarday, though I don't think I'll be able to get off the crutches for a while. Nothing is broken thank god, but my knee is very swollen. It was lacerated pretty bad from one of the springs, so I have a bone bruise as well.
Just my luck!
Once again I was asked wether or not I'm a submissive or just a bottom. I guess my nature just baffles people!
The fact is I have submitted to women before, but the fact is also that that was about two years ago, and those women were in fact...untrained friends of mine. A lot of it was for fun, experimentation...though it did get serious on many occasions.
I can at least say that I know enough of submission to grasp the style to which I serve. However like I said that was a long time ago.
And I have yet to submit to a trained or "real" Domme.
So for now I'll have to say that I can submit, and I can be a bottom. Any Domme who really wants to know is welcome to try and dominate me!
Please? With sugar?
I'll do such a good job!
And now, to conclude this whiny, little post. A haiku.
I injured my knee
And my pills smell really bad
Antibiotics |
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A girl just told me that I mad her a submissive because I'm so mean. Do you think being grumpy, guarded and critical = dominant? I don't.
My attitude made her submissive, she thinks.
Or could it be that she was simply shy and timid all the time? Or perhaps, just a twit?
Either way the girl annoyed the hell out of me, following me around with a school girl crush.
Yuck.
Perhaps to her being a submissive is one who cries out for abuse. I suppose there are folks who are inclinded to believe that, but I follow a different school of thought.
There have been at least three people over the year or so who don't think of me as a submissive because of my willful nature. I am defiant, and I do enjoy a challenge. Is that wrong?
My submission is that of pleasure, I aim to please. If you want me to do something I'll probably do it. I could even do it in a french maid outfit. The terms in which I do things aren't important to me as long as I'm satisfying the other person. My needs are secondary, at best.
But there's a catch. Here's where my defiance flares up. If you walk into a room and we meet for the first time and you tell me to get naked and kneel in a corner? I'm going to say no. I'll look you in the eyes, with a stern expression and say no. Or maybe even "no way." Does that make me less of a submissive? Maybe...but then again the people who claim this behavior as un-submissive have never known what to do next.
Is it really that I am not a submissive? Or that they are not dominant enough?
Is it wrong of me to ask to be tamed first? Some dominants don't want that hassle, they want pure immediate obedience. But what's the fun in that anyhow?
You don't even have to try hard, I don't think to win me over a little. Challenge me to something, and if I lose I submit. See? It's a game!
And oh how nice it would be to recieve my submission. You have no idea.
rarr.
If you had to make a basic comparison you might compare me with cats and dogs. A dog is likely to immediately enjoy your company. You feed it a treat, you play with it. Bam. Relationship!
Anyone who owns a cat knows the rest.
I dislike dogs. |
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Ok, this has cropped up a number of times so I guess it's time to lay down the law.
Don't worry, subs are allowed to do that. It's okay!
I will give you a show on my yahoo webcam, (or even ichat, if it works). But I'm not just going to show off for just anyone.
I require you, to have a webcam, or photographic evidence of who you are (you holding up a picture with a certain message)
If you can't provide me proof, then I aint showing off a damn thing. I don't care who you are, or who you think you are. Aint gonna happen.
And that's a shame, because I am truly, incredibly sexy on a webcam.
Though I must warn you in advance that I'm in college, with a room mate...so my time is limited.
If you can deal with that then we can have fun!
Kay? |
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My kitten died yestarday.
Run over by a car.
Today was also a bad day, because I was pretty much dumped...pretty much.
I'm tough, and I'm pretty, don't worry.
But...if you want to buy me a car or something, I won't stop you.
Blowjobs are good too but I know not to ask.
Just saying... |
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Gone camping for three days! Just so ya know.
I've heard that some Dommes are actually intimidated by a confident submissive. That kind of makes sense, in my experience.
I'm more than confident, I'm drop dead gorgeous.
Take today for example.
Today was kilt weather, cool and humid and rainy.
So I wore my kilt. If you had any idea how hot I am in my kilt you'd be begging for a picture.
But low, a photograph would never do it justice, it is a beauty that one must see in person.
LIKE A DOLPHIN.
...
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the British. I enjoy the way they look down at everyone despite being very plain themselves. I enjoy their accents, I enjoy their tea. I even enjoy BBC, particularly their comedy.
But the BBC does not, not know how to make a good nature documentary. They're terrible at it. Ever since PBS lost funding from the government the BBC has taken over my beloved channel 21. And now instead of Nature or NOVA in libraries I have to watch soddy BBC nature films. And they're all terrible!
It makes me very upset.
Am I allowed to write about things other than BDSM?
I keep getting messages from Dommes with no pictures. That's not fair.
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I'm going to be on TV! It's nothing special, just a commercial, but I am excited nevertheless. Who wouldn't be?
I'm actually not doing a commercial. Sorry.
I keep (three occasions) getting what I'd LIKE to call offers from Doms around here. They're not actual offers though of course. They're barely even come ons.
I like the ones that send you a picture of just their body and expect a positive response.
...
Kate Blanchette keeps calling my house, it's gotten to be a real drag. I may or may not have made out with her at some party and now I think she wants to go out. Not that I don't find her attractive mind you, it's just that...well, she's so clingy!
Every time I see her she makes me promise to do something the next day. She makes me swear to it. So I've just haven't been answering my phone.
She's left soooo many messages.
I might just make my number unlisted.
That was a lie too, by the way.
...
My parents keep on coming into the room and glancing at the screen while I'm on here, like any parent would. This works out well on here for the most part, the chat rooms and message boards look like just that. But, damn those adverts.
Nevermind, I will be back in college soon enough. |
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I am back from vacation. I have more freckles, I'm tanned in places...and I'm slightly more muscular.
What is not to like, I ask you?
I collected a lot of MOON STONES on Coast Guard beach to hand out to my friends. Only the special ones though.
Moon stones are good luck, and if you fit them in the right places you get to learn Willow Wisp.
Sorry, that was an in-joke.
Anyhow, it was a lovely vacation and though I had nobody nearing my age to accompany me, I found that the weeks flew by rather quickly.
It was tricky though, masturbation. It was a small house with thin walls. And on top of that all the bedrooms were squeezed together.
Tricky, but not impossible.
I came back to check my messaged and discovered that three of the four said things like:
"You're really adorable. If you were older I'd take you on..."
I feel like that is not a nice thing to say, even if you meant well. I almost wanted to say "I'd let you take me on if you were younger yourself, and not so saggy"
But alas...such impertenance is not something I flare off at women. If they were Doms though...ho boy. |
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So I guess the color pink signifies being a switch, and not a female submissive.
Ha ha ha...heh...ho...ho boy.
Wow.
Well, just goes to show you...I'm stupid sometimes!
Don't worry I did it on purpose to show you that I'm not totally perfect. I planned this.
Yes.
Yes. |
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I'm cranky. It's probably the heat.
Still I wonder over the frequency to which I am contacted by female submissives. Do they wish it that I were a switch or something?
It baffles me, truly.
I'm going on vacation to Cape Cod on the 14th of July. I'll be there for two weeks. Just a heads up for those that really care.
I suppose I should include that in my profile now.
I'm going to clean my room tonight.
Still cranky.
rrrarrr... |
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UMG someone has been stealing my user pic!
I feel so used! |
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so here...in other news: my eyes are still gorgeous.
Still. |
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AUCTION VENT:
You wouldn't have our 30 minutes be private, so right off the bat I knew you weren't serious about having won me. Instead of maybe ignoring me, or even politely telling me I was being annoying you chose to "gag" me and have me do absolutely ridiculous things. I even complied, I even complied.
Then you tell ME that I'M unfit? That you don't recommend me?
The pretention!
A Domme/Dom commands respect from their submissives, and you do not have mine. You think you can just command obediance now matter how demeaning your task?
I feel sorry for anyone else who you bid on and win, you clearly don't know your place. You're rudest OP I've ever met.
Garbage.
...
I was in the auction chatroom, and I got all these bids but was won by an OPs. And furthermore she was a freakin submissive.
I aaaalmost sent that to her but I don't know what kind of power she has as an ops. People who do have power around the chatrooms are quick to abuse it, in my experience.
Can you imagine? Me getting banned or something just be calling out the wrong person for acting like a child?
Ironically I only just got finished scrutinizing myself for being too whiny in posts.
But I had to say it. Some OPs on collarme are a joke. |
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Geez. Do you think the fact that my screen name begins with a capital letter really throws the Dommes off the scent?
People in the chatroom have been bringing it up. Most assumed I was a Domme!
But I suppose that's my fault for immediately starting a conversation on wanting a good pair of heels.
I'm not a Domme but, anyone can buy me heels if they want to.
Actually no, that'd mean disclosing my mailing address. I feel like that is not a good idea.
Upon reading previous posts I've come to the conclusion that I do a lot of whining. So instead I will indulge in current events: I am enjoying my summer a lot. My plan is to see my friends so much that I grow tired of them and become more than ready to go back to college. I actually have more friends there than I do here, but you know what they say...you never make friends like you do in highschool.
It's true with me anyway. I'm being taught to kiss this summer by one of these highschool friends. Believe it or not I don't have much experience in that department, despite all my experience in pretty much every other one.
I'm looking forward to it!
Hopefully by the end of the summer I will be able to say that, you can come up to me and kiss me and say "he is a good kisser!"
Hopefully, anyway.
Ta! |
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I met with a friend of mine recently, I actually met her here on collarme...and she said that I get less attention from female dominants because my ability to so easily move between genders is unconventional and therefore intimidating.
Meaning that...I get me responses from submissives because of the fact that I intimidate...to some extent.
She even wondered if I was truly submissive.
Crazy, right?
Crazy!
I am not a dominant person at all. Though she didn't ask for proof of my submissiveness...I definitely know that I'm one helluva sub. I'm quite good at it if I do say so...which I do...say so.
Do you guys really feel that way? About me being kinda intimidating?
I really have no desire at all to dominate...and when I do I feel bad and awkward. Honest! |
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I love this "who's viewing me" button! How nice!
Yet...kinda disturbing to know that the majority of people viewing my full profile are old Doms.
Hairy ones at that.
And not too well kept.
Oh well. As long as they don't try to talk to me.
It's interesting, it seems as though more submissive females view my profile than the dominant ones.
I wonder why that is? |
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My days as a girl.
More and more I have been coming to terms with who I am as a person. And I've come to the conclusion that I really am in many ways, a girl.
I can pretty much say at this point that I am half and half. You'd never have to make me be a pretty girl.
I used to be a drag queen you know, Jinger was my stage name.
That's a fun fact, that is.
I just thought I'd throw that out there for you guys. It's nice, right?
I was a girl a couple weeks ago, and let me tell you...I was a sexy little number. As I walked home (not in heels, no, never) I got hit on by a lot of boys. Despite their crude cat-calls it was actually a rather nice feeling.
The funny thing was that the boys I knew had a very torn reaction. Here Justin was, a definite boy...but...as a hot girl! They all expressed something along the lines of "Augh...I...I know it's YOU under there that's what freaks me out!"
But the girls! My god! The girls were all very complimentary and supportive at first and then began to get more and more jealous as they looked at me. Some would remark on how they were jealous of my legs, or how I could fit into my skirt so well and pull off a belly shirt. But then some got all catty and were like "you actually look better as a girl than a boy."
Woof!
Such is life I suppose.
It's funny because while I may relate and understand what it is to be a girl and have the feminine/feminist understanding...I love being a boy way to much to ever go through a sex change (which I actually have considered.)
I think I'm good as a boy.
But people don't get the full truth of things when I say "but I can be a girl too!"
Because I really...REALLY can.
I think that's what makes me somewhat unique as a male sub in the sense that I act more stereotypically female as a submissive than a male submissive. Honestly? I don't understand how most Dommes can tolerate all those guys wallowing at their feet, slobbering over everything and acting like spineless worms.
Bah! I'd never do that. I'm too pretty. |
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I read over all of my journal entries, and all I do is whine about the respect I get!
Ha!
Whining!
Well ok, maybe it's not whining, but still. There is a very strong theme of respect issues in a vast majority of my entries.
Bulloks.
That's okay because my sex appeal is up 5675 points. That's a lot of points. |
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I reckon this site's days are numbered round here, I reckon. I still get the occasional email complimenting my looks and sense of humor...but nobody takes me serious enough for any real inquiry. That's okay though because I think I lost my finesse a long time ago dealing with "mistresses" that demand I take my shirt off for them on yahoo and leave directly afterwards.
I completely lost it when some "mistress" refered to me as "just a baby" when addressing me.
I'm a sub, I don't demand a lot of respect but when you compare me to a mass of pink flesh that screams whenever it feels emotion then I think I have a right to get edgy.
I am not a baby.
Call me a boy.
Call me a bitch.
Call me a sissy.
But I am not...not a baby.
I bought my first dildo ever for myself. Nobody believes me when I say I'm just going to put it in my mouth. But it's true.
Either way, I hope my penis doesn't taste like this dildo. What I waste of money...I was totally robbed.
I should've bought a nerf gun online.
*grumble grumble* |
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Carmen Sandiego is pretty much my nonexistant Mistress. |
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When I am an older sub *shudder*...I refuse to act like I'm still 19.
Older subs moaning like little boys are so gross!
YUCK. |
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I won't ever refer to a female as "toots", nor will I snap my fingers at one or call them dumb blondes or bitches.
So please, never refer to me a "fire crotch."
If we're going to refer to each other by our crotches then I'll simply call you a cunt and never speak to you again.
"carrot top" is also unacceptable. I don't ever want to be compared to that man because unlike me, he is very unattractive and his sense of humor is awful. He is a disgrace to redheads in my opinion.
Lets all just play nice! |
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I don't think I'm going out of bounds when I say that I'm going to be more demanding about who I show certain pictures to.
I am a submissive and it's fine if you want me to serve you, because I will. But if you expect me to show you naked pictures of myself within our first conversation...then I'm going to go ehead and assume you're another brainless horny man.
I don't care if you're the Dommiest Domme whoever Dommed...I'm NOT going to reveal my entire body for just anyone that feel like calling me a slave.
It takes a certain level of trust for me to be comfortable with those things and I don't think that's a lot to ask for.
If that sounds like me being defiant then you're not the Mistress for me.
They say that the difference between a submissive boy and a submissive girl is that the girl knows her role and demands more respect for it...wereas men are pathetic animals that serve without question because they feel they're unworthy.
I know my worth. I won't ever claim to be better than a submissive female...but I know I'm better than most of the riff raff out there. I can't help it if I know I'm worth more than a one night webcam stand.
*huffs and fans himself!* |
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New pictures!
I got a haircut pretty recently and i don't want to decieve everyone with my default picture. So here is me:
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e171/CaptainHoof/Portrait_by_Jack_Rabbit.jpg
And here is me, in a studio...as a sub.
I don't really care much for how it came out. It was a bad series of portraits. I reckon I just wasn't feeling it that day.
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e171/CaptainHoof/service.jpg
For thoses no technically inclined...you copy and past the URLS and put them in your browser. |
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The stuff that female subs/Dommes have to put up with on this site is mind boggeling...
Men are such pigs, seriously. Blech!
Yet at the same time, I am torn away from feminists... Well, by feminists I reffer to the girls on my campus who just like insulting boys to their faces without provokation. So maybe they don't count. Either way they give feminists a bad reputation. Their behavior always pushes me into chauvenist mindsets...
Funny how things turn out. Aye? |
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I obviously don't mind being told that I'm cute...but when every message I get is "You're profile is so cute!" then my pining for a good message gets more and more desperate. I think I deserve a longer, if not a distinct message, don't you? |
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I'm a sub, but I'm "mildly bratty." So many people around here demmand "complete control" and "absolute obediance." I can not be completely controlled. If you want complete control, find a boy without a sense of humor. |
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You know it's amazing the juvenille urges I have to post pictures of me during my various excursions with BDSM. I have a bunch of them, and of course their out of focus in some ugly looking room somewhere. I have a couple of professional photoshoot pictures too but it's like...do I really have to prove myself? I feel like things like that are just desperate cries for attention. Either way, if anyone wants pictures I reckon they can ask.
But I wonder, is it a given that when profiles ask you to send pictures, you send S&M pictures? I just send nice photos of myself. I wonder if I'm doing things wrong. Hummm... |
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Sometimes life can be a hassle. I've been lucky enough to have several Dommes as I was growing up, most of them didn't have me answer to them formally...but two trained me to refer to them as "sir". They enjoyed the sound of "yes sir" or "no sir" or "thank you, sir." I never questioned it, but the problem is that it stuck and every now and then someone will get upset because I used "sir". I haven't made the mistake with a Domme yet, but for most other girls it's almost like a minor offense. I don't see what the big deal is though, really. I would think they'd like it better than "maam".
Today I walked around in the mud for several hours, I was almost too tired to shower. Almost. |
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This is a personal introduction I wrote on BDSM forum somwhere...I think it's a pretty decent description of myself so I think I can apply it here as well. *curtsies*
I'm introducing myself now just you all know who I am.
I am a submissive, I always was and probably always will be. I've actually been lucky enough to land myself four seperate owners in the past, so as submissives go I'm relatively experienced, for my age that is.
I submit to females only, because...well...they're better.
As a submissive I have to say that I'm really not into extreme pain. Get cut is not my cup of tea, nor is getting punched, kicked or beaten at all really. I'm repulsed by scat. I would honestly try watersport, but I won't ever be the one to bring it up in conversation.
Trampling is a bit much too.
I have a number of fetishes but I'm torn because many of them are far too self indulgent. They make me feel guilty. So while I really do love body worship and smothering, I hate the idea that it's just my crazed chauvenistic side taking over with ojectification. That said I'm huge on pleasing the other person. Serving and slavery come almost naturally to me. I love the idea of getting used, as if I were an object or a trophy...or even just a foot rest.
And along those lines, getting tied up is really fun.
To describe myself though as a submissive I have to admit that I'm really quite shy in person. I'd like to think I'm docile but my own embarassment in certain situations makes me hesitate...which comes off as defiance. I'm really only defiant if I know you well enough to act stubborn...but that really depends on the Domme.
I have other personal details as a sub, but you can ask those yourself later if you wish.
Like I said though, I'm willing to try things.
I like the idea of living the life of a submissive, but I also really enjoy an informal submissive relationship...where domination isn't always imposed and can strike at any moment. I have nothing against outfits or corsetts or leather boots...but I don't think they're really necessary...and they don't especially turn me on.
And that's me. I'm sorry if this looks like a want ad. But I figured it's the decent thing to do. |
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| Age: 32 |
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Mississippi |
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