I'm kind of a cliche. I've always felt like there was something more I wanted out of relationships. I was happiest when I was exhibiting some control, but I was embarassed about the feeling. I had trouble reconciling that urge to control and give pain with the concepts of equality and that "men don't hit women".

I recently went on one amazing date with a girl who knew exactly what she wanted me to do to her. She made it clear to me with body language and her gasps, moans, writhing and the catches in her breath. I didn't have sex with her, but the encounter was so much more intense than anything I'd had before that I know that I can't ignore that part of me any longer. Everyone on here already knows exactly what I mean, but I still find myself trying to put it into words.