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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Female Slave, 26,  London, United Kingdom
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JennieX - photo 1
JennieX - photo 2
JennieX - photo 3
JennieX - photo 4

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** As of Nov 29th 2017 I am the owned slave of my Mistress, Miss V ** ** Please be aware that all communication on this profile is monitored by my Mistress ** **no one liners please... hate those! ** Not looking for anything any more. Mistress has found me and claimed me. I could not be happier with her. FAQ
  1. I live in Chelsea
  2. No I am not posh
  3. Yes daddy did help me financially (bought me my home)
  4. I am not looking to marry anyone or move abroad
  5. I am a slave to my Mistress.... no doubts any more on what I am.
  6. I adore gags, a lot!! (anyone willing to part with a Mr. Leto mouth lock, let me know!)
  7. No I am not K 9 friendly (that I actually need to put that in here, geesh...)
  8. No scat, piss (Mistress decided otherwise), kids, animals, extreme body mods or permanent marks/injury (Tattoo/piercing, I am okay with)
  9. I hate electricity. It scares the crap out of me.
  10. Yes I am actually smarter than most give me credit for. (Brat alert, you are warned!)
  11. if you want a respectful reply, be respectful in your messages. I am still human.
>50 or no profile, go into bulk... Pics are not me but stuff I like... I've been told not to upload any personal pics for now. If Mistress approves I will be able to share pics, but only after she approves.












 Female Slave


 United Kingdom

 5' 6"

 140 lbs






Actively Seeking:


 Lives For:



 Anal Play (Beginner)

 Bondage (Beginner)

 Collars (Beginner)


 Obedience Training



 Speech Restrictions (Beginner)



 Intellectual Discourse


 Begging (Beginner)

 Exhibitionism (Beginner)

 Eye Contact Restrictions (Beginner)

 Housework Service

 Maid / Butler Service




 Lifestyle BDSM


 Corner Time

 Public Play (Beginner)

 Investing (Beginner)

 Economics (Beginner)

 Curious About:


 Online Auctions

 1950s Lifestyle

 Female Sovereignty




 Electrical Play

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Journal Entries:
3/19/2018 4:42:06 AM
What a weekend... 

Last Saturday Mistress came into the city to spend the weekend with me. I had a bad week at work and had to work loads to solve issues and negotiate stuff, but in the end I solved some things and my management decided to give a percentage of a settlement that will be finalised in the coming weeks. So Mistress felt I needed some fun and games and more importantly, retail therapy!!! She came to my apartment she told me I would be allowed to forget most rules (respect and good judgement stayed of course) and just be her girlfriend again like before. She did tell me that she was still the one with final say on things, but for all intends and purposes I was for now sort of free... Except for the chastity belt, that would be staying on. Can't have everything I guess, but I was allowed to relax and not worry about her rules that much. 

Most of the Saturday we spent shopping (my spending limit was also lifted, YAY!!) so we both enjoyed ourselves and were spending way more than normal. Had a nice lunch and went for great sushi dinner together. After dinner Mistress and I took a taxi and in the taxi I was ordered to put in blinding contact lenses. Clearly I was back into slave-mode. After we stopped, Mistress ordered someone to take care of our bag and led me into the hotel. She apparently had been there before to check in because she did not have to go by the reception and quickly led me into the lift. During the ride up she and I made out and she tweaked my nipples a bit making them stand at attention. She walked me to the door and pushed my head against the wall, pulled my ass back, spread my legs a bit and pulls my hands behind my back. She told me to stay as she went into the room, leaving me there all exposed in a position that clearly said "obedient slut waiting for her owner". After a little while (sense of time is the first to go when I loose my sight and get 'handled') she came back and pulled me into the room. 

Mistress told me to remove my dress but leave my heels and stockings. She put me in cuffs and tied me spread eagle to the bed... She played with my nipples and kissed me all over. She then gave me the biggest surprise of the day, when she opened the lock of my chastity belt and helped me out of it... By this time, I was in full heat and begging her to touch me, lick me or do whatever she wanted.. My begging was soon silenced when she gagged me with a ring gag forcing me to stay open, silent and drooling. Mistress moved off the bed and I heard her remove her clothes and move around a bit. She told me to start begging her for her touch and I tried to do best I could, bound and gagged as I was.... and she obliged me and I felt her hands on me.... quickly joined by another pair of hands!!! We were not alone and I was being touched by 2 people.!!!! I freaked out and pulled in vain on my restraints. Mistress came in close and whispered that I should relax and accept what was happened, as I was not in any position to do anything about it anyways. She kissed me deeply as I felt a MAN (stubble) starting to kiss my thighs. 

I know some of you would like all the intimate details of the night, but lets just say it was hot as fuck and I was allowed to cum multiple times, I got DP-ed, I was fucked with a strap-on as I sucked this man (spit roasted) and I got to listen as Mistress had her pussy licked and was fucked till she came a few times too (does that make me a cuckqueen of sorts). After we were all spend, Mistress let the man leave before she untied me (at the time I was in a hogtie on the ground) and let me remove my contacts. After ward she locked back up in chastity and we talked and cuddled some more before we drifted of to sleep together. 

Sunday I woke Mistress by going down on her and occasionally asking her for info on who the mystery man of last night was, but she never told me anything more than that it was all safe. She also told me he knew me but I did not really know him.... So I guess someone that I know from somewhere got to use me this weekend and I will never know who (unless you are reading this and want to tell me!!!) The Sunday we spend with more shopping and stuff. 

All in all a great weekend and I am just so happy Mistress allowed me to cum as much as she and Mr. X did. I am such a lucky slave and am so totally in love with the life Mistress is creating for me. Mistress truly is a gem and the best I can ever have wished for... Thank you so much Mistress, I love you with whole my heart and whole my being. YOUR jennie!

2/13/2018 3:32:57 AM
Hello all, by order of my Mistress i have to post this.

As some of you know Mistress meassured me for a Neosteel chastitybelt a while back and ordered one for me. Unfortunately the order was not lost in the mail or anything and it arrived last week. This weekend Mistress put it on me and locked me in it. :-(( I accept Mistress’ wishes for me to wear one but this slave truly hates it. As a ‘getting used period‘ Mistress has decided to keep me in it till next weekend. She has left me a locked box with the key in it that she can remotely open, So I can clean myself at home (cameras will make sure I do not misbehave obviously).

And for the people that want to know, I am partly ‘stuffed’ as Mistress added a remote controlled buttplug to my new ‘lifestyle accessory’. 

1/4/2018 2:38:15 AM
During the holidays I spent a lot of time with my Mistress. She took time out of her life to be with me, train me and allowed me to serve her. And I am very grateful that she did. After the holidays I had to get back to work and the first day was really rough on me. I needed my Mistress and her guiding hand but she was otherwise engaged. I let her know that I needed her and wanted to serve her and loved her, etc more than more that day in emails and texts. In fact in about 20 to 25, well... 36 messages to be precise about it. I did so knowing she was busy. Mistress likes that I wanted to serve her, but was less pleased with me repeatedly letting her know this. That night she told me she found me a bit needy today and that I would be punished for intruding on her day as much as I did. She did not punish me that night and told me it would come soon. 
The next day was a better day for me. I managed to focus a bit more on work and learned some more about what I was feeling (most likely a delayed form of sub-drop). Early afternoon I was called into a conference room for an ad hoc meeting with the CEO. Not a big deal, happens from time to time when needs an update or something. I get to the conference room and enter it only to be greater by not just the CEO but also my Mistress. All alarms instantly go off for obvious reasons and I feel my professional attitude change to a fully submissive one. I close the door and I automatically remain there standing still, looking down and slowly putting my hands behind my back and shuffling my feet apart, till I am in a position I know Mistress likes for me to wait in. Mistress comes up to me tells me that I was being an annoying needy little cunt yesterday and that I was about to be punished right now and right here... She grabs a hand of my hair and pulls me to the table. She pushes me forward over it and I am order to spread my legs as she pulls up my skirt. I am told to not close my eyes and that my boss will be checking if I don’t. With that he comes over and takes a seat right in front of me on the opposite side of the conference table. Mistress then starts spanking me... slowly building up intensity till she is warmed up and she just lays into me. Spanking me hard and fast as she repeatedly tells me I am not allowed to be a needy cunt and demand her time... Tears well up in my eyes as she punished me
and I keep looking forward to my boss who is just sitting there watching me being being punished right there in his place of business. After what feels like an hour Mistress stops and orders me kneel upright in a corner with my hands on my head and my bare butt exposed. I crawl to the nearest corner and do as I am told (not easy as my leg muscles were like jelly at that moment). I remain kneeling as I hear my boss and Mistress talk about how I just went into a submissive mode when I got in and how I kept looking at him and some other stuff... After a few minutes Mistress calls me to her and I crawl over (legs did not really want to support me yet). She hold my head up and she smiles and tell me I was a good girl today and how proud she is that I took an appropriate position automatically and stuff... I just cry and look at her, just happy she is here and putting back in my proper place. I can’t even be bothered by the reality of this happening in the middle of the day at work with my boss watching us. I am just there for her and that’s all that matters at that moment. She also tells me she was very upset with me about my behavior the day before and she felt that I robber my boss of a days worth of work. As olsen said I needed to imprint it a bit further into my mind that I am not the one that gets to demand attention. She orders me to not bill the previous days work to the boss and to write lines... 250 times by hand and 250 typed by hand to send to her by midnight. Following section is a partial cut and pasted from the digital version... 
1. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
2. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
3. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
4. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
5. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
6. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time
7. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
8. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
9. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
10. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
11. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
12. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
13. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
14. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
15. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
16. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
17. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
18. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
19. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time 
20. I should not be a needy little cunt and bug Mistress all the time
I told her I was sorry while kissing her shoes and feet and begged to forgive this stupid slave. She did and send me back to my desk to continue my work for the rest of the day. When I got home I started working hard on the lines and did not even dream about copy-pasting the digital lines. 
Mistress, I am so sorry for being a little cunt and trying to demand your time and attention. I hope you are satisfied with my lines and I did not inconvenience you too much by having to come down to my work to punish me. If I did I will happily accept any punishment you deem suitable. I am also very sorry for wasting the time of my boss. He also deserves better and I will not bill him for this whole week. I have also posted this to my journal so everyone can read about my stupid behavioiur. I hope this will please you too Mistress. I love you and I will do better in the future. 


12/31/2017 4:12:38 AM
Yesterday was a special day. Mistress and I are attending a New Years eve party in the city today and Mistress did not feel like driving too much. So she told me she would be staying at my apartment for 2 nights. I cleaned my house, put my nicest sheets on the bed, shaved and everything else you might expect to do when your owner comes to you. As soon as she let me know she was looking for a parking space, I got naked and kneeled in position by the door waiting for her. After about 15 minutes I heard her heels comes closer and then the her key in the lock... I kept looking down as I felt my heartbeat quicken a beat. My mind raced, did I not forget anything... The door opened and there she was, my owner. She passed me as she stepped in and let her fingers slide through my hair. I hear her toss her coat on the table and walking around the place. I don't move and do not say a word, no speaking unless spoken to. She calls me to her as she sits down on the sofa and tell me to relax and run her feet. The mood relaxes a bit as I rub her feet and we chat a bit about all sort of simple things. I fetch her a drink and around 6, she gets up and walks into my bedroom, leaving me in the living. I hear her snap her fingers and I quickly move to join her in the bedroom, I drop to my knees and bow forward at her feet. On the bed I have put out a few items she ordered me to get.10 feet of steel chain, pliers, spare steel links, screw-in eyelets, 3 small padlocks and some other bits and pieces. She asks me if I have everything she ordered and I confirm I did. She says "up" and I raise to an upright kneeling position (training really works!) and she slimes down at me and pats my head "good girl"  I cannot help but blush and smiles as I hear her praise. She tells me to wrap one end of the chain around the leg of the bed and to fix it with one of the locks. As I do, I see from the corner of my eye that Mistress pulls out a familiar box and puts it on the bed. I know this box, this is the box that has the collar in it. The real one... the elegant one... the one I cannot touch. My heart skips a beat and I quickly secure the chain and let Mistress know I am done. She smiles and tells me to put on my black and white dress, stay ups, no panties (bra is not even an option as it is so tight) and put in the remote controlled vibe she got me. I quickly get dressed and put the vibe in me. Hhhmmmm shoes.... Mistress likes heels, so I take a pair of black stiletto heels and put them on. As I bend forward to put them on I feel the vibe kick in.... and I nearly fall over. Mistress is standing in the door opening, she chuckles as I regain my balance. I smile at her and as she turns the vibe back down I put on the other heel. I move to stand before her and present myself for inspection. She runs her hands over me and appears pleased. I hear her snap her fingers and point down followed by a making a circle with her thumb and ring finger. I move into a high kneeling position and draw my hair to one side, hold it up and hang my head forwards. My heart is fluttering as I she Mistress open that box and take out the collar. She comes to me and places it around my neck and locks it in place. She tells me to stand and to follow her. We go in the bathroom and she hands me one of those small contact lens containers. I look at her puzzled and she orders me to put them in. I nod and proceed to take out my own lenses and I open the new set. Weird... they are painted to look like green eyes. I dismiss it and I figure these are costume lenses to give the wearer a different eye colour. I put the first one in and I can't believe it... I instantly go nearly blind in that eye. I turn to Mistress and she quickly orders me to put in the other one too. I take a deep breath as I feel my mind slowly go foggy. I put in the second one and I am all but blind. I see some light but not much more. I feel Mistress grabbing my wrists and pulling my hands behind my back. She leans in and explains she knows I have issues with wearing a collar in public because of what people might say and how they may look at me. She tells me this will help me overcome at least part of those issues. I nod slowly and let out a small whimper as she leads me out the bathroom. I have NEVER felt this vulnerable even in the comfort of my own home. Someone taking away your vision is just such a mind altering thing. I cannot even explain it. I feel Mistress turning up the vibe and letting me go... She tells me she is going to get the car and I hear the door close. I am left standing there, blinded, unstable stilettos and a vibe buzzing my clit and g-spot with no way to see if my dress is still low enough or if I am showing 'leakage'. After about 10 minutes the door opens but nothing is said. Because of the heels I assume it is Mistress. She takes my arm and slowly pulls me along and we get to the stairs (darn, I love my home but it on the second story so in this situation I am completely helpless). She helps me find my footing and I slowly make it down the stairs and to the street. She helps me into the car and I am so sure my neighbours have gotten an eye full as I was helped into her Range Rover. She puts the seatbelt on me and closes the door. As she gets in I softly beg permission to speak but she tells me to hush. I take deep breaths as I feel my mind get cloudier and cloudier... After about 20 minutes (purely guessing) we arrive somewhere and I feel my door opening while Mistress is still in the car. I freak and turn my head to Mistress (no use to look if you cannot see, but try telling that to a brain that is used to having sight as an available sense). I hear someone say "please take my hand Miss". I am so freaking out as I hear mistress' voice speak up and tell whoever is there "I'll help her out of the car myself, she is blind and a bit of a handful". My mind is all over the place... you just cannot imagine. I'm a mess... Than I hear Mistress and feel her taking my legs and hands and helping me out of the car. I stand there unsteadily as I hear her say "Oowww look at you... I knew that dress would be a bad idea. Pull it down you silly girl. I don't understand why you insisted on wearing it". I blush a crimson red I have never reached before and quickly pull down my dress unaware on what they may or may not have seen but fearing the worst. I feel Mistress taking my arm and leading me into a busy place. The smell was amazing and I hear someone welcome us to Zuma and ask about a reservation. Mistress and the other person talk a bit before I feel her pull me along by the arm. We stop and I feel a chair being pushed behind my legs and I am told to sit. I sit down and get pushed to a table. Mistress orders a few drinks and then turns to me. She informs me she and I are about to have dinner here and she will be feeding me. People will be watching me and they will just see a beautiful blind girl that is being fed her meal. They will see me with my collar around my neck and the lock in the back. I will not be able to see anyone looking or even staring at me. I will not know what I will be eating, what the next bite will be, hot or cold, spicy or sweet, no way to prepare for a taste or texture in my mouth. I will have no control over anything that goes into my mouth or who puts it there. I will be totally dependant on her, my owner, for everything for the rest of the evening! And with that she pushes up the vibe to a higher setting making my mind melt as the feelings and my total dependency on her, clash and sink in.... she controls me in everything... even my ability to see is dependant on her. I am so hers.... so totally hers.!
The rest of the evening was filled with great food and a few drinks. I have no idea who looked at me, how I looked or what was on display and frankly I could not care.... Mistress kept me on edge the whole time with her words, the teasing and the running vibe, but I was with my Mistress and she wanted me this way and that is all that matters.

I love you Mistress with my whole heart.... you own me, completely and totally, I hope I can make you proud of me.

12/23/2017 5:24:01 AM
Unbelievable, someone saved a copy of my journal in their email and send it to me. Thank you so much S. :-)


Mistress told me she would be picking me up on Saturday and gave me no indication of the plans she had. I love it that she takes the time to come into the city for me and not just orders me to come to her (something I would happily do of course). since I had no idea about what she had planned, I felt it was best for Mistress to decide on my clothing. I showered, did my hair, my makeup (Lightly as she likes it) and laid out a few different sets of clothing for her to choose from. I waited till she was there in the nude. When she got to my apartment I assumed the position she wants me in (on my knees, legs spread, hands on the small of my back, eyes down and my head turned slightly to the left). Mistress got in and said I looked good like that, I could not help but smile and blush a bit, I love getting praise from her. :-) I asked permission to speak and explained to her why I was not dressed yet. She left me kneeling by the door and went to select some clothes for me to wear. I had out four sets all with skirts or dresses and nice (highly option) lingerie and heel. Mistress normally takes me to places looking like this so I was sure she would find something she would like me to wear. Suddenly she shouted for me to heel to her in my bedroom. I got up and ran to her and my new position. She told me to put on the second set. My LBD (Little black dress), a pair of heels and a simple thong. I quickly got dressed and presented myself to Mistress for inspection. She approved and told me to put on a coat and walk with her to her car. We start driving and I carefully ask what we will be doing today but I just get a smile in return. After a short drive, we arrive at a location in Kensington. As we stop Mistress tell me to turn to her and hold my hair and she places the lovely silver collar on my (love it when I am allow to have it on.. Makes me all warm and fuzzy) and she then tells me to get out and follow her. We walk to a very nice house and Mistress rings the bell. The door open and a Lady opens to door and invites Mistress in while looking at me with a clear contempt (she gave me the chills.). As we step into the living the lady and Mistress chat a bit and totally ignore me. I hear some kids playing in the back room and carefully scan the room, clearly a wealthy family by the looks of it. I start wondering why Mistress has not introduced me or anything and as I listen to them talk, I suddenly hear the other lady say, ‘what about her... is she one of those?’ All my alarm bells go of... She knows... I also get a lot more self-conscious about the collar around my neck... Mistress nods to the Lady, turns to me, zips my coat open and pulls me forward towards the stand in the middle of them by my collar. She suddenly orders me to kneel... My heart skips a beat and I freeze for second before dropping to my knees. She explains to the other Lady I am not completely trained yet but very obedient and good with kids and pets like me. They laugh and I am very uncomfortable... Mistress order me to take of my coat and to stand. I do... She tells me to get into the inspection position... I follow my orders and she follows them up with a few more other positions... Then turns back to the Lady and says ‘see, perfectly obedient already... She is very easy to work with and eats a decent pussy now’. I feel my cheeks flush crimson as I stand there listening how they discuss me. The lady than turns to me and tells me to join the kids in the other room and to where to find the instructions... I am puzzled and look at Mistress. She smiles and casually yells me I’ll be minding the kids and dogs till they come back from x-mass shopping. With that I am dismissed to go read the instructions the Lady left for me. I read them and I let them know I understood the rules. After which Mistress asked the Lady if she was good to go and they turned away from me and left. Leaving me with the kids (3,5 and 6) and the 2 dogs... In a strange house, with kids that we’re acting like they drank 3 red bull’s each just before I got there...). To be honest I was less than happy about this... but Mistress was already gone. So grudgingly I started minding the kids and stuff... after 8 (!!!) hours Mistress and the Lady returned and I was pretty much dead on my feet and was close to tears. The Lady asked if her kids we alright and if I had messed anything up. I politely gave her a report and she just listened and then ignored me as Mistress came towards me and clipped leash onto my collar. They exchanged some more small talk and Mistress hugged her and started walking pulling me along by the leash, through the door and into the street. Her car was fortunately double parked close by and when she told me to get in, I quickly got in. Mistress also got in and we drove away. After a few minutes of silence, I kind of cracked... and I started sobbing a bit. Mistress asked me why I was sobbing and I told her about the kids and the fact the I did not like it that she just outed me to this strange Lady, how unworthy she made me feel, how she just made me watch someone else’s kids and that I wanted to be with her and please her and..... Mistress suddenly hit the brakes and reaches over to me. One hand pulling on my hair and forcing my head against the headrest and with the other she gave me a series of hard slaps on my cheek. All the while berating me about my role in life and the fact that I am in her service and not there to only do fun stuff with her... That I needed to understand I was a mere thing to be used as she saw fit and that it is up to her to decide on how I am to please her.... I was stunned, shocked and crying... She opened the glovebox and took out a blindfold, steel police style handcuffs and a ball gag. She forced the gag in place and secured it. Then she ordered me out of the passenger seat and into back (and no I do not mean the backseat, but the boot). I was to get in, put the blindfold on and lock my wrists together behind my back. If I did not do it within 30 sec she would come out and ‘help’ me. I have never seen her like this or heard her like this. So, with the gag still in place and in my hands the blindfold and cuffs, I quickly got out of my seat, opened the boot and crawled quickly into the travel cage.... (very glad it was already dark out!), I quickly closed the boot and put on the blindfold and locked my hands together behind my back as Mistress started driving again....

12/22/2017 3:05:47 AM

Part 2 of my journal from last weekend.... Unfortunatly with all the problems the site has been having, the first part has gotten removed and I don't have a backup anymore. If you read this and have acopy, please let me know... I will repost it.

Small recap; I had been selfish and expressed myself to Mistress in a less than respectable manner about the fact she left me to tend to 2 kids and dogs while she went on her merry way with a friend. As a result she had hit me a number of times in the face, gagged me and had me walk around the car, get in the cage in the boot, blindfold and handcuff myself.

As soon as I had gotten in and cuffed myself I felt the car starting up and again. I was very shaken and my cheek still hurt from the slaps Mistress gave me. The fact that I was now gagged, blinded and cuffed in a car while driving though London also did very little to calm me down. I tried to relax and calm down but my mind was just racing and thinking about the words Mistress shouted at me. How could I have been so stupid... Why did I have to open my mouth.... Why did I make this about me.... I was regretting everything I said as I rolled around in the cage with every turn the car made. After a while I noticed the car speeding up... a motorway. Mistress is heading home... or at least I think she is. I calmed myself down and tried to lay down in a relativly comformtable position (very hard when in a small cage and with your hands behind your back). After some time the car finally stopped and I heard Mistress get out of the car and walk past the car... and walk on. Wait is leaving me here... Darnit... She is. She left me in the car, like a forgotten bag of execsise clothes or something. How long would I be here for? She was pretty mad when she had me climb in here, she would not just leave me here the whole evening would she? With the car no longer running the temperature also started going down slowyl but noticably. After some time (no clue how long) I finally hear someone coming towards to car and opening the boot (Man, its cold out!). I hear the cage being opened and I her the voice of her husband telling me to turn a bit so he can undo handcuffs and so I can climb out. As I do he take my hands and removes 1 of the cuffs, I bring my hands up to the blindfold and I feel him grab my wrist and pulling it away from the blindfold. He tells me to leave it or Mistress will be even more crossed with me. Even without being able to look him the eye, I can tell by the tone in his voice he really means it. I swallow and let him help me out of the car. As I step out onto the cold gravel (my shoes are still somewhere in the cage), I feel him taking my wrists and locking the handcuffs together again and calmly saying to me "Mistress's orders... just try to remain calm and don't fight against what coming." I grunt into the gag and nods, but that warning caused a knot to form in my stomache. He than grabs me by my arm and pulls me along toward the house. He walks me into the house and after a few turns and door he lets me go and says "stay". He moves away and after a few moments I feel him take hold of the cuffs and he removes them. I rub my wrists a moment but then he takes them again and puts leather cuffs on me and locks them together behind my back. He steps away again and I feel my arms being pulled up. Further and further, and I bend at the waist to try to relieve the stress buildig up in my shoulders. I try to speak and tell him to stop but the gag reduces all sounds to murmers. Also shaking my head does nothing and he keep pulling them up. When he stops, my arms are point pretty much straight up and my body is horizontal. I hear him opening a door or something and then I feel him putting cuffs around my ankles. He pushes my feet apart and locks a spearderbar between my feet. I feel the strain on my shoulders build as my feet are pushed apart. He checks if I am securely bound and he moves away from me... I know he is still there, I hear his breathing but he says nothing. I can 'feel' him looking at me for minutes... and as time passes I feel my shoulders and legs starting to burn. My muscles are cramping up and I try to move about a bit but bound as I am, I cannot find any relieve. I hear a door open and he the sound of heels, Mistress is here and I notice my heartrate going up as I get anxious about what to come. She removes my blindfold and I try to look up but I can't from my bound position.... but what I see is a leatherclad Mistress in a black dress with red accents and heels. He husband sits kneeling a few feet behind her. He looks down and makes no eyecontact. Mistress grabs my hair and roughly turns my head to face her. She spits in my face and hits me hard accros my cheek. She leans in and bites in my exposed ear (never knew ears could hurt this bad...) She whispers to me in a way that makes me weak in the knees that I displeased her. That she is upset with my selfishness and she expected me to know better. She tells me that for the rest of my stay here, I will be taught what my place in life from now on is and that she will make sure I will never forget it again. She lets my hair go and my head drops. She turns to her hubby and tells him to wash me and prepare me (whatever that means...) and he says "yes Mistress, what shall I do with her clothes?". At this time I am still wearing the clothes she picked out for me. Jeans a blouse and a bra but no panties. I hear him say it and I momentarily hope that I will be able to stand for a moment just to release the stress on my legs and shoulders, and to remove my clothes but the hope was quickly squashed as she order him to go fetch her 'big knife'. I process her words in my mind as he gets up an goes to fetch it. she is not going to just cut my clothes of is she? Nah, this is just a mindplay she would not do such a thing. Besides how could I go home if I don't have any clothes on..... Hubby came back and handed her a kitchenknife. I saw it in her hands as she took is and I could not help getting nervous. That thing was huge, well over a foot long. She squated in front of me and pushed my chin up so I could face her. I will not ever forget the look on her face, she just grinned and looked like the cat that was about to feast on a lil' mouse and I was that mouse. She pressed the blade against my skin under my chin and told me to hold really still for the next few minutes. She stood up and she began.... She put the tip of the knife in my sleeve near my wrist and with little to no pressure she cut it all the way down to my shoulder, she then did the same with my other arm... Leaving my arms and the fabric hanging down. She grabs the straps of my bra and slices those too. By this time I am again sobbing like a child and trembling... there is something so humbling about and scary about having your clothes removed like this. I feel Mistress grab the collar of my blouse and place the knife under the fabric.... she turns the blade sideways and presses it against my skin. The cold steel sends a shiver down my spine. She takes a moment and then she takes the knife and slowly runs it odown my back as she cuts away my blouse... I feel it seperate from my body and fall to the ground quickly follewed by my bra after another quick slice of the knife. My mind is all over the place... My tied position, the pain in my shouders and legs, the rush my clothes just being cut away. La La land, here I come.. I feel Mistress pulling on my pants and the knife being slid in.... She moves it up and down a few times to cut through the waistband and as it gives way she cuts just to my buttcheek on one side and she repeats it on the other side. she moves behind me and I see her between my spread legs as she makes a small slice just above the cuffs. She sees my looking at her and I she 'that' grin again as she puts down the knife. She takes hold of my pants and starts ripping the fabric. She tears open my pants and goes up till it is almost completly seperated... She repeats to process with the other side and as she does I feel cool air on my skin and I begin to slowly but surely drop into sub space... Suddenly she takes hold of the pants and roughly rips them from my hips, leaving me completly naked and tied with spread legs.... The shock pulls me slightly back from sub space and I hear her order her hubby to clean me and make sure I don't stink anymore and with the order she starts walking away again. A door closes and hubby gets up. He moves across the room and I hear water flowing in the distance. As he comes back I see him carrying a bucket with some water and a sponge. He softly whispers as he starts washing my from my extended arms down "I am sorry, but I need to do this..." I nod and accept he is going to wash me as I stand and hang there totally bound and helpless. He washes my arms and back and uses a cloth to wash my face. He sits next to my face and he reaches under me and start washing my breasts with the cloth... I feel so embarrased and humiliated as he washes me like this and as he moves around me I become extremly aware of my nakedness and whats about the be done to me. He does not look at me or talk as he follows his orders and I undergo this most humiliating thing ever. He washes me as ordered and he uses the cloth to wash me 'there' too... He fetches a towel and dries me of. Then before leaving me he places the blindfold back on me and lowers my arms a inch or two, giving me just enough freedom to reduce some of the strain in my arms. I hear the door open and closed and I am left there... alone... naked... humiliated ... securely tied and totally exposed.... (more to follow, just too busy sorry) 


12/15/2017 12:32:56 AM
Mistress is clever and Mistress is mean, but Mistress is Mistress and I will obey her. Yesterday she ordered me to place three cameras in my house and configure them in a way she could control them. I will admit I was not pleased, but I guess I am not the one to be pleased so I set it all up for her. Bathroom, living and bedroom are now remotely accessible for me Mistress. Privacy is a luxury not awarded to slaves... She also said that I was to be training and trained by her during the week, and since we cannot be together enough for her to train me properly (I live in London and she lives outside), she decided this would help me to train. 

After I put them up and configured them to work for Mistress. I got a real good taste of what training would be like. The cameras are equipped with fairly decent 2-way audio and Mistress thought it would be a good idea to have me work on certain positions she wishes me to learn in a certain way. She told me, no ordered me, to train them for 15 minutes in my living, in the nude with my curtains open. She told me this via the 2-way of the cams and then started commenting on the speed by which I was doing my practicing. Of course she took over and set the pace. Having me move from position to position and commenting on all I did wrong. After a good 20 minutes of 'exercise' I got tried and wanted to send her a text message so I turned to my phone only to be quickly ordered to turn back and kneel in position 1 (2-way audio I know I forgot...). She told me told hold my position for 10 minutes and think about my service to Mistress and what I can do to please her, etc... and I did. After the time was up she ordered me to stand in a particular spot in my apartment and display myself for inspection and I cracked... I broke down.... I begged her to relax the rules, to not push me too hard and to let me have some form of normal life to. But Mistress said nothing. Not a sound, not a word nothing but utter silence and my sobbing while I remained in the inspection position I was ordered into. And I just stood there.... alone.... naked... legs spread.... and not knowing what to do. After a while my phone rang but I did not pick up. Mistress was watching, Mistress had not released me from this position, I had to stay and wait as I was thought. My mind was a mess and I was not happy and I had to fight the instinct of turning to grab my phone and answer it but I managed. 
After about 20 minutes, I finally heard Mistress's voice again ordering me remain silent, to not talk to her and to get ready for bed in 5 minutes. I quickly got ready and wanted to get in bed when Mistress gave me a new order. Every night before bed, I am to kneel next to my bed and face the bedroom camera wait for 5 minutes for further instructions, if non came I would be allowed to get into bed. As I got into bed Mistress called me and we talked about things and about my mini breakdown and she asked about how I felt about this remote training capability. I told her I felt absolutely humiliated being trained by someone not there, someone that might not even be watching, someone that just gave orders to do and to be mindful of rules and procedures even whilst (possibly) not being actively monitored and as I told her this, it started to make sense and I understood what she was doing to me and why. This is a slaves life, this is what a slave needs to do and understand. It is about the wishes of her owner not about her comfort. It is about obeying regardless of who is or is not there. It is about making your owner proud of you by doing her wishes even in her absence. She does not want to micromanage everything.... but she has that right and it is up to me to decide if she needs to exercise that right. I do not know who or if she is watching, but she could be and just that fact alone makes me want to work that bit harder for her and make her proud of me. It is not about her micromanaging me, is it about her teaching me self control and obedience to her rules in her absence. Isn't that truly what a slave should do and aspire to. Total obedience at all times....

Thank you Mistress for this humbling lesson on the position of a slave and the needed mindset. I love you and I hope I will make you proud of me.

12/14/2017 12:44:49 PM
Hhmmmm.... I just got home and my neighbour gives me a package that came for me. 3 high resolution IP cams with PTZ (pan tilt zoom) function and a very short note from my beloved Mistress. "Living room, bathroom and bedroom. Access info in my mailbox by 22.00h. Love Mistress."

Did I mention she likes total control. There goes my perfectly secure home network and my privacy.... Ooowww wait, don't really have a right to that last one any more, do I? 

12/13/2017 3:02:38 AM
My professional world just collided head on with my private submissive life and my head is still spinning from it.

As I noted in an earlier journal, my boss called me out on being a sub (now slave!) and he was totally cool about it. He himself is a Dominant and owns his wife. He has been in this world for many years and has loads of experience. He also has a large estate and had offered a weekend there for me and Mistress to do training and enjoy his hospitality. So far so good.... but at the end of the day, he is still my boss and has hired me to complete a few complex projects for his business and he is paying me well to do so.

Since I have entered this world (deep dived into it is more like it), I have been receiving tasks from my Mistress like removing underwear, edging in bathroom, edging in my office (with a glass wall) and edging anywhere but the bathroom (I usually end up in a staircase or broom closet). I of course were never allowed to cum since she took ownership of me, and this has had a serious negative effect on my ability to concentrate and be as effective as I was before this all started. My boss hardly ever calls upon me to come to his office for talking, but this week was different. Yesterday he called me into his office to express his concerns about the progress on one of my projects and wanted me to push harder. He also enquired about my training and how I am dealing with things... A bit awkward but he already knew so I answered him polity and gave little to no details. We talked about some project related things and he send me on my way.

Lets move to the collision that happened yesterday. My boss send me an meeting invite for 5 o'clock and gave no meeting subject, just a note stating it was vital I came. He is the CEO, he pays my invoices so he decides on my professional agenda, so I accepted. At 5 sharp I was there and his secretary let me into his front office and told me to wait there, he would call me into his private office when he is ready for me. She said goodbye, took her bag and jacket and left me alone in this slightly too expensively decorated office. I sat down on one of the chairs and waited... and waited... and waited. And because this is not a normally type of meeting my mind began racing, and racing and racing some more... Did I do something wrong on a project? Was that other project still on track? Have I missed a deadline? I know I have been distracted but not that much... have I? Doubt began running through my mind about why this meeting was planned and why I was basically order to be there.
Finally after about 25 minutes the door to his private office opened and he told me to get in there. He quickly sat down at his desk and when I took hold of chair he said "No.... remain standing jennie" There was something in his voice, something different... ominous even. I let go of the chair and stood there. He turned his attention to the laptop and as I opened my mouth to ask what was the matter, he shushed me. He actually shushed me and did not even look at me. He took another minute and then turned to me and looked at me. Have you ever been called into a principles office at school, not knowing what he knew and not knowing what you are there for, but by his look you know you are in trouble. That is how I felt.! Basically I was on high alert and ready to apologise for whatever I did.

But now comes the truth.... he told me I had rethought his position about my submissive nature and felt it would be best for me that he took charge of me. OMG.!! of all the things I could have imagined, this had never even crossed my mind. He then said that he is quite taken by my appearance and since I am beneath him, I would have no choice in the matter. Also if I were to consider not complying with his wishes, he would have to cancel my current contract and put all payments on hold. He would also be terminating the contract based on the 'morality clause' and he had evidence I was engaging in sexual conduct while within the building and on company time. He turned to his laptop and started an audio clip on which I was clearly engaged with something sexual (the moaning gave it away) and me explaining what I was doing and where to my Mistress who was listening and talking to me on the phone... By this time I was as pale as a sheet, visibly trembling and had tears running down my cheeks. Was this really happening... Was this dirty old man forcing me to become his slave... was he really ready to blackmail me... My mind is a true mess now and I am just standing there and listening to myself moan and talk to my Mistress on the audio clip, explaining all sort of explicit acts and thoughts. As the clip ended he said that he has also no problems with sending this clip to my parents and a few of my colleagues, unless I accept this is happening and submit to him. I feel like I am about to die and praying I will wake up soon but now of that happens. This is real.... this is happening.... don't know what to do... I am ready to faint, or scream or run....or just give up but I can't... I am owned, he knows this he should respect that.... He repeats a few of his threats stands up, walks towards me and stops right before me. I am just sobbing and incoherent as he gives me an ultimatum.... Kneel before me or I’ll ruin your career and your personal life! You have 10 seconds to decide.! 10..9..8..7.. My head is in totally spinning and I am crying like a lil’ baby who has had her favourite doll just ripped out of her hands. 6...5...4... I try to find words that will help me, that will loosen the choke hold he had on me but I had nothing. I was just conflicted. Caught between two worlds and I cannot have them both... Forced to choose but unable to do so. My worlds were colliding head on and I was just standing there crying, shaking and with a ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look on my tear covered face. I hear him say 3... you’d better choose now and choose wisely girl... but I can’t I’m stuck in my mind. My brain just is not working anymore. 2.... 1.... and then.....

“heel to me, slave” I heared from just behind my head. That voice. I know that voice. That is the voice of my Mistress, my owner, my safety net.... I turn and I see her there! Right there with me, smiling at me and repeating her order to me “heel to me, slave!”. My knees give way and I collapse to the floor at her feet. Grabbing her legs, kissing them just weeping without any control.... Everything just fades into the background and I am just there with my Mistress. My mind is gone.... I am just lost. No more rational thought, no more jennie, no more anything... I am just plain lost in la la land.

After what seems to have been ages but was actually just about 10 minutes I finally start regaining some cognitive functions and I realise that I am no longer on the floor but laying on a sofa with my head in the lap of my Mistress. She is stroking my hair and smiles warmly at me as I slowly feel the fog in my head starting to lift. I softly start crying again as I look up at her for a moment. I quickly cast my eyes down again and try to push my head even closer to Mistress. She lets me and I relax some more...

I have spend a good 45 minutes just curled up on the sofa with head in Mistress's lap totally out of it all, just because my worlds collided and it was planned as I have since learnt. Mistress and my boss apparently know each other quite well and are members of a very discrete group of slave owners and trainers. The same group of people that got together last weekend and where I was first "shown off" by my Mistress. It was actually her intend to just have my boss over without either of us knowing we would be there but my boss cancelled at the last moment. My presence at the party however has been talked about by the people that were there and my boss also heard about this new slave girl that my Mistress had presented. He then called her and asked if she was my owner. Mistress confirmed it and they talked about my for a while. During this conversation, they decided to have some fun at my expense (obviously well within their right, as I have non anymore) and came up with this scenario to see how I would react and if I would make a choice (like anyone could have made such a choice!).

Okay, I absolutely adore my Mistress and I always liked my boss but when they team up and mess with my head as they did.... Geesh... Luckily for me, Mistress and my boss are both really sweet and nice. They both gave me a lot of attention and aftercare, so in the end I was able to walk out the building without support. They even ordered some sushi for us all to enjoy with the slight difference being that I was eating it from the comfort of the floor at the feet of my Mistress and they boss and she were sitting on the soft sofa.

12/11/2017 11:18:17 AM
Some of you all saw the following coming from a mile away it seems...  I just got permission of my Mistress to change my orientation to what it truly is. I now know and accept that I am  merely a slave and below most others.

12/11/2017 1:10:07 AM

Wow what a weekend.... As you have read, last friday I got to serve my Mistress at a party and yesterday I got pierced by my Mistress. She fitted me with 2 piercings (rings) in my labia and each has a tag dangling from it (see previous journal entry). The whole piercing thing was such a headrush that I needed to write it up immediatly but I should also tell you all about the party.

Friday late afternoon I got a message from my Mistress that I was to be ready for pickup at 5.30h. No explanations, no further orders, nothing... Just be ready. So I quickly cleaned myself up and got ready. At 5.30 sharp I got a text to come out and get in the car. We drove to here house (love that place.!) and as we got in I quickly undressed as perviously ordered to and kneeled at her feet holding up the ugly pink collar for her to put on me. She took the collar and put it back told me to follow (crawling). When we got into the living she sat down and as I kneeled at her feet she told me that tonight would be a hard night but a fun one. There was lil' get together planned for later that night and all people coming were 'in the scene'. I would be the least experienced there and since this would be me first such party, I would be limited to serving Mistress and Mistress alone. I would also be allowed to basically hide behind her if things at too much for me, but she doubted it would. In other words, I would be seen as a sub and nude, by strangers.... YIKES! Mistress cuddled me and reassured me things would be fine and stuff, but I was pretty much out of it by then and it took a while to calm my nerves. when I calmed enough Mistress then took out a box and opened it for me to see in. She got me a really beautiful silver collar with a small lock and a thin short leash (XXXXX PIC) She told me she wanted me to look my best for her and do her proud, and such an ugly leather pink collar would not do for tonight. She put it on me and I nearly cried (from happiness) when I heard the lock snap shut in my neck. She also showed me a set of heavy steel cuffs (ankle and wrists) but she did not put those on me. We talked some more about the rules for tonight (speak when spoken to, show respect, answer all questions honestly unless privacy is at stake and so on) and I got us something light to eat.

Around 8.30 the first guest started arriving and I had to accompany Mistress to the door each time (by far scariest thing I have ever done!). As the guests entered it became clear they all knew I would be there and no one was surprised to see me. Some even complimented Mistress on me and my appereance. I was caught off guard a bit when a girl came in behind the first guests and when she shed her coat, she was as naked as me and joined me on her knees. Beautiful girl and really sweet also I learned later. More guests arrived and in total I counted about 10 guests, 4 slaves and me. All the girls were made to serve al the guests drinks and ou d'oeuvres, but I just had to serve my Mistress. Somewhere during the evening Mistress asked for everyone attention and kinda of formally introduced me as her new property and saod I was a true natural submissive. She then put me on the spot by making me tell the story on how I became hers and everybody had a good laugh at that (pretty sure I looked like a red balloon during that moment but I did manage so I could make mistress proud). Afterwards I quickly returned to kneel by/behind Mistress' legs and as I was still a bit shakey she petted my head and stroked my face (love it when she does that!)

Once evey so often all of us lesser girls where excused into the kitchen so we could chat amongst our selfs and relax a bit. Thats when I noticed that I actually knew one of the other girls... It was a girl I went to school with. She recognized me too and we got to talking. She apparently become a slave to her owners about 5 years ago and she loves it. She is actually serving them 24/7 which was really amzing to hear. Anyways... Mistress had one last 'surprise' for me that evening... At a certain moment she took my leash and pulled me to the couch. She proceeded to put the cuffs on me and made me stand for inspection (hands in my neck, chest out and feet apart) in the middle of the room. As you might have guessed all eyes were on me once more and I was ready to die of embaressament but I obeyed because I wanted (need?) to make Mistress proud of me. Mistress had two of the other slaves bring out a small table and put it in front of me. I was then ordered to lay accross it facing forward and with my hand extended. The two girls then secured me to the table with some chains and Mistress then told every body that I was to be paddled by everyone that wanted to do so. i was again a shakey mess when I heard that.... and I slowly started drifting of into lala land. Then next x minutes (no clue how long exactly) Various people tool turns paddling my behind and I have the bruises to show for it. I do remember that the other girls were kneeling by my head and trying to coach me through it all, which was nice I guess but I have no clue what they said anymore. I was pretty much lost between pain and that blissful happy place called sub-space. Once the paddling was over I was release and layed down next to the fireplace where Mistress stayed with me for a while and she kissed and petted me. I thanked her, kissed her feet and hugged her legs as good as I could. Also the other girls were there with me while I recouped and they tended to me.

The rest of the evening everyone was easy on me and really sweet. Telling me how lovely I was, how well I served my Mistress and that she told them she was proud of me, and more such things that made me feel really good about myself.... and more importantly about my service to the greatest Mistress there is. When the guests left (one girl had to ride in the booth of the car, granted it was a Rolls Royce, but still..) Mistress told me how proud she was of me and that I did really well and hardly anyone could believe I was so new at this. I could she Mistress really meant it and I was so relieved I got through it all without breaking down... Mistress told me I was to spend the night and before sleep I was allowed to pleasure her. After Mistress was pleased she had my get of the bed and onto the floor. She used the leash to lock me to the bedpost and gave me a blanket and pillow to use. I think I was asleep before Mistress was....


12/10/2017 7:42:15 AM
After the party last friday I was picked up earlier today by Mistress for ‘drinks’. She had something special in mind apparently because I had clothing orders.  I was to wear a black dress with a hem above the knee. It should be low cut so my breasts would be well on display. Heels and pantyhose without a crotch... No panties and a quarter cup bra. Basically I need to look like a high class escort and be ready for use *blushes*

She picked me up and drove around while chatting and inspecting if I was clean shaven and without panties. While she was inspecting me and basically toying with me I got totally lost in the feelings she gave me (4 weeks without an orgasm does that to a girl) when we pulled up to a shop. It looked closed but when she knocked on the door it quickly opened and we went in (by the way these clothes and this weather do not mix well!!). Before I was even in the doorway I was ordered to kneel and keep my eyes downcast. Clearly something was up... Mistress placed a hood over my head and told me to stand. She took hold of my arms from behind, pulled them together a bit and pushed me forwards. I was then told to sit on chair and when I did a leather belt went around my neck and it was secured behind the headrest. Soon after both my wrists were also secured to the chair. Mistress noticed I was getting a bit anxious and briefly lifted the hood to give me a tender kiss and to whisper the relax and just surrender to what is about to happen. I tried to but it was not easy... Lucky Mistress sensed it and kept touching me and reassuring me. After I calmed down a bit I felt my legs being lifted and placed into stirrups, followed by some ties and then more ties around thighs forcing me open and totally immobilized. I was left there for an eternity (so it felt) in all my glory... spread wide and blinded... Inlater heard they all went for a tea in another room. 
When they returned Mistress again kissed me (she tastes so perfect!) and ordered me to relax.... then I felt it... pliers of some sort pulling on my lips followed by a sort painful jab. I was pierced!!!!  Not once but twice. Mistress pulled the hood from me head and made me look at the needles as the poked through me. The girl piercing me smiled at me and proceeded to fit me with two rings, one one either side with a pandant hanging from each. Mistress told me they were engraved on both sides... on one side it reads ‘owned’ and ‘slave’. The other side read ‘Owner’ And ‘Miss V‘. Oooowww and to make sure I don’t get any ideas, the locking mechanism has something called locktight in it, so they cannot be removed easily. 

I now am actually now having a drink with Mistress... She felt I earned it. 

Thank you Mistress! I will do my best to make proud! 

12/8/2017 1:58:57 PM
Limited online time tonight and tomorrow.. Mistress picked me up and I am now here at her feet wort other people here too. I hope I don’t embarrass her! And i am not freaking out about the other people... yay me! :-)

12/4/2017 5:19:33 AM

I know it's been a while since my last journal but so much has happened that it has proven impossible to keep up with it all. Lets go over a small recap and some of the new things that happened before I begin the more comprehensive write-up.

  1. A stupid slip of the tongue at a party with friends about handcuffs kickstarts a chain of events I never thought possible (see my first journal if you don't know what mean).
  2. A long time friend did not believe my lies about why I had experience with handcuffs but stayed silent that night only to come by my place the next.
  3. This same friend forced me to admit things to her about my submissive nature and she basically took control of me or a better deion would be, she took me. So I now have a Mistress, one I have known for over 10 years and I never knew she was into this stuff).
  4. Was punished for not disclosing it sooner that I had these feelings (We both hid something but I am the only one getting punished for it, odd huh?)
  5. Ran my mouth of to a Domme on here (will get back to that on later
  6. I got rules impossed on me to live by 24x7 (really, no more cumming without permission is considered a fair rule??)
  7. Had to deal with another 'domme' on CS that apparently had about 12 different profiles and threatened me and my loved ones if I did not listen to her/him (more iritating than scary and the webmasters sorted it out).
  8. Got a series of clothing orders, plugging orders and edging orders.... Edging orders at the office are very annoying esspecially when you are not allowed to use a bathroom for it.
  9. Complaining about excesive wetness to ones Mistress is counter productive (apparently panties are known to absorb more when stuffed inside you, or so I am told. Still think that made things worse but I am a quick study and won't complain again)
  10. Babysitting a 6 month old and a 2,5 year old for a whole day is freaking hard!! Where the heck does a tottler get that much energy from?
  11. After talking to Mistress and others here on CS, I have come to the conslusion that I am a silly, ignorant and mostly naive girl when it comes to bsdm, slavery and the tools that come with this world.
  12. I now know what sub-space is (loving it up there!!
  13. My Mistress knows how to get between my ears and push buttons I never knew I had.
  14. A full days worth of training, learning, serving, pleasing and relaxing at her feet is hard, long and totally blissfull and worth every mark I got on my body.

So there it is... The last two week of my life all summed up in 14 bullit. Unfortuantely I have a busy day but I will try to get the full journal posting done later today. But no promises!


12/3/2017 12:33:49 PM
a full day with my beautiful Mistress. Training, receiving ‘lessons’, pleasing her, cuddling and tons of new experiences. Now at her feet by the fireplace, relaxing and getting my mind back in order so it will be safe for me to drive home...Hope i’ll get there before it’s too late. Her alternative plan is her driving me home in the doggy bench of the Landy. 

11/27/2017 12:08:33 PM
Okay, so this just happened....

This weekend I was at a party with a group of friends and after having landed a nice new client I was in the mood for a party. Silly me, I drank a bit too much and too quickly before dinner and so it happened that during dinner I slipped up a bit. They conversation of being cuffed came up (as in being arrested) and a friend mentioned she did not like the feeling of steel and her arms being locked behind her back. I blurted out that I did not mind that feeling.... Stupid stupid stupid me. Now mind you, I have never been in trouble with the police ever, nothing more then 2 rare speeding tickets and 1 parking ticket, and my friends know this. They know this because I remind them of it each time one of them get a ticket or something like that. So this night they all went silent and just looked at me and then it started. The questions, and more questions and more questions... and I started stammering and making up excuses on how I could have that experience and why I liked it. I am not a good liar and quickly turned red but I mustered an excuse. I figured I had them sold on the idea of being cuffed as joke during a bachelorette party. I still got some remarks the rest of the evening but that was the end of it..... or so I thought.  

The next while trying the ward off a few more questions of friends that were not really convinced yet, I got surprised by a good friend of mine. Instead of sending a text she just showed up at my doorstep and made me open the door for her. I was not really up for a visitor (drank way too much and felt hungover) but she is sweet and insisted, so I let her in. I offered her a drink and as I went into the kitchen to fetch it she followed me. Weird but okay, I guess... I said something as I put down a glass on the counter and as I let the glass go, she grab my wrists from behind me, pushed them to the smal of my back and pinned me against the counter. *GASP* I struggled a bit but she had to upper hand and is apparently stronger than she looks. As she stood behind me and pushed to the counter, she told me that I did not fool her with the whole bachelorette party excuse and that she always figured me for being a submissive. I have never been so scared and aroused at the same time. I could not utter a word till she pushed my legs apart a bit and demanded an answer..... and I caved and admitted it to her.

The rest of the evening is kind of a blur.... We talked a lot but it was different. Different as I was on the floor and she sat on the couch. Different as she made me call her Miss. Different as she occasionally petted my head. Different as she demanded her drinks and I accepted her demands and complied. Different as she clearly in control and I felt it slipping away more and more. And it was also different because when she left for home and told me to kneel and kiss her heels, I did not even consider it an option to not obey her.

My mind is such a mess.... probably won't be answering a lot of messages the coming days so I can get my bearings straight.

and yes, writing this journal was not really my idea. Embarassed

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