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I want to thank all who contacted me.  I am no longer actively looking for a girl.  I am happy now with marii.

I and my girl are interested in hearing from like-minded people who wish to explore the Master/slave relationship.  We are particularly interested in those who share Gorean philosophy.

If you would like to contact me, feel at liberty to do so.  I and marii are both well rounded people who are both professionally employed.  We are interested in conversation with people who live or who are transitioning to a Master/slave 24/7 relationship.  We are not interested in "sharing".

I am attentive - always listening for details - demanding - and intense.  I do not have my photo posted but I will send it to you upon request and having seen yours.  I allow my girl's photo to be posted to show what I own, and to inspire others who wish to live 24/7.

As well as owning this girl I share friendship with this person.  We have diverse interests that enrich our lives.

We are what is inside each of us as our state of being.  Who you are is not a gift, but each working towards objectives is certainly "giving".

I and my slave wish you well.




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5/4/2010 10:36:33 AM
Tuesday 5/4/10

I have a few moments to reflect again on the past few days before I start the routine of end of term work.

This past Saturday was truly an interesting day.  The weather was abysmal so we stayed in close proximity to each other talking about many things.  I enjoyed listening and learning more about the history of marii and  what events lead up to her being with me.  One aspect I have to learn more is to be a better listener, and this is true in all aspects of my life.  When you listen you show an interest not just in the topic being discussed but in the person bringing forth the topic.  Another good reason to listen is that you often learn a great deal when you take the time to do so.  marii is very much a submissive woman, and if I speak she feels she can't do so, which is not at all an undesirable trait at times.  On the other hand, not allowing a person to be heard, regardless of their estate can cause damaging results.  The key is knowing when to listen, how to use the data being presented, and not just in a way to better control, although there is most certainly a place for that, and to analyze and gain understanding about present standing.  I learned a great deal about marii, and what makes her tick, what she needs and how she guards her slavery - yes - that is her job too - not just Mine - from the day to day cares of the world.  This girl has a need to be submissive - it is not a cloak she puts on, and to be so in all facets of her life - not just ones where her arousal is involved.  The most important thing I believe that I learned were areas of fear.  This is something an Owner also needs to consider - and how to control the feelings that evoke from it. 

A slave's life - from my perspective on the top - is very much a fearful one.  It is typical for slaves to invest a great deal emotionally than Masters.  At least this has been my experience as I am very able - for good or bad - to detach myself from situations and look at them from afar.  This can be helpful as it allows me to see a bigger picture.  However, the problem often lies in the detailed accounting of the present situation.  The greatest fear I think that I have found in slaves - and it is not at all a bad one - is that their Owner will become disinterested in them.  This is a particularly understandable fear.  In all of these domains I am not one to snap to attention and act upon fears or feelings.  I don't judge feelings.  I ask the slave to analyze them, which is often a futile task because the slave is so often wrapped up in the depths of emotion that surround her submission.  Again, typical of my experience is that slaves give all and I give what I choose to give.  As an example I do not by design turn off and on emotional sensations to a girl; however, I know this happens as it is part of my makeup.  I am at all times very intense and do look for ways to control - hello, that is what this about - but at other times I am very detached - and this makes the slave have numerous reactions - a rise in heat and need to reach - and also a fear that the time of softness is not coming back and behind the detachment lay other factors.  I do confess it can cause duress in a girl and that it can be exploited to squeeze a bit more - and to create conditions where that need to please is fertilized.

Sunday night was one such incident.  Although I had attempted to speak to the girl a few times - for my own pleasure - schedules misfired and this lead marii to believe something along these lines, "Great, I submitted and am now collared - and my own thought is that with all that entails - and now he has me and I'm put on the shelf".  This is more a summary of my perception of her feelings.  Was she wrong to feel that way; of course not.  It couldn't be helped.  She had given all and is indeed at risk emotionally.  Often her words are "keep this girl, Master".  What a powerful sentiment to express.  In a Master - at least in this one - it has a most positive effect upon my demeanor.  Although I am stern and can be quite the bastard at times - and she needs that in me - that aspect also needs to be graced with times of being approachable and allowing her to be what she is.

All in all, interpersonal skills play a great part in an effective relationship of any type.  Maybe moreso in one between Master and slave.

I must go -
I am,

Jeff

5/2/2010 4:18:40 PM
5/2/10
The week in review :

Wednesday -  I know by this time that mari is ready to beg.  The girl has all but done so by opening the gates wide open as she had said, she has said the term Master to me and has not flinched when I said she is my girl, but she hasn't begged yet to be owned - and this is important for many reasons.  The first is the  psychological. One might ask why in the world I am giving up this information free to any - and for her to see.  The answer is simple - it is really "for her to see".  I am not worried should she come across these words and be shocked.  Actually I tell her to do so, and then to write on her own and tell the unfolding tale of her submission into deep bondage which is emotional - spiritual and of course physical.  As she reads these words the very fact that I can so casually state to what in her mind is "the" most powerful of emotions - in a calm reflective manner brings her further into her own submission.  I am Owner - she is owned.  It is truly that simple.

In this lifestyle there are many venues and paths to take.  One of the most common branches is to use manipulation by the Dominant to get what he wants.  Although that has certain elements of intrigue, as a path it is unmanly and is also dangerous as it breaks the trust of the slave (and in the most cases those who resort to manipulation have little brats who wish to hang on to to put their toes in the water rather than get into the deep).  No, I tend to be very forthright with a female - there is no need to hold the carrot and the stick.  I rely on my intellect of course to get to know a girl and learn what works - but in the final analysis, I will have what I wish in a girl - or she if free to find someone else.

By Wednesday mari was heated, fully.  Her body reacted to my voice and my words and my mind.  She confirmed what I knew - that she was in a constant state of arousal - and had pain from it.  I told her she was to not hide her heat and to adorn her body with the evidence of it - often - at home while at work.  This always has a powerful effect on a slave.  The slave knows in her heart that she should not seek to hide anything from her Master.  If fact she should often beg to approach him to let him know the latest depths of her slavery.  The role of the Master at this point is to let her grow in need.  I encouraged mari's confessions - knowing she had to make them and knowing that she was more and more desperate to give more.  She needed to be closer to me; to be more owned.  Then I reminded her of her early attempts are resistance and she heard my laugh, knowing that she never had a chance.  When she sent a brief text saying that her own scent lay on her as she went about her daily routines, all I needed to do was just encourage her to a point.  If the semblance of her "liberty" was a dwelling - all that was needed was for a solid push to send the whole bit down to the ground. 

I then started to torment her a bit more.  I showed her a picture of what she yearned for - My collar - locking steel - that stays on.  It can and would be worn in public - and I would hold device to unlock.  The moans increased.  It is amazing how sexual particulars didn't come up much at all.  Now, she mentioned them, how she yearned to yield to me in various ways - how she burned to be so possessed.  It was very pleasant not to go through the "this is what I like" checklist - a thing that again I won't do - but admit I used to do.  In my type of Domination - a girl sexually signs the bottom of the line and I fill it in.  I do let her know there are two absolutes that involve incest and certain illegal activities (not repressive sodomy laws).  After that - it's all potentially on the menu - even though there are parts of the menu I won't go near - nor will any girl of mine!

It was now time to let her know the last few details about me, nothing major but just things that I don't participate in health-wise and what minor vices I may have - I don't ask for hers because if they are something I don't participate in she will adjust and end them.  Enough said.

We planned to meet to act upon what we had spoken about.  The decision had been made, she had begged to be owned and I told her my intent of taking her as my own.  The way the arrangements came about are mildly amusing.  Initially it was going to be a wonderful day at a park - where we would be alone.  We were going to meet on a Saturday, and it is well that I modified the plans as the weather was not going to cooperate. 

The day before we were to meet I arrived home after running a few errands, I called her and we started talking about a few things - mostly small items - what are your plans for the night etc.  I told her I had none, but was looking forward to spending the day with her in her neck of the woods, and she also said she had none other than to prepare for tomorrow and that she was all alone for the night as her child (a teen) was away at a friends for the night and they had plans for the next day.  It took me about 1 second to suggest a change of venue - that we move up the time of our initial meeting 8 hours.  Within two hours I was on the road.

I called her periodically from the road, and I could tell her nervousness was increasing, which was fine.  I was actually very much in control of myself, and my calm only added to her heat.  I told her one last thing as I neared.  "I am not coming as a friend or a boyfriend or a lover.  I am coming as a Man to take possession of a slave and you will know you are owned in a most real way.

I saw her waiting for me, nervous.  I pulled up and took her bag and put them in the trunk.  I greeted her saying, "It is good to see you, girl".  I then told her she could enter and sit in the car.  When she did I looked at her.  Quite probably I had touched her momentarily outside - a brief gesture if anything.  I smiled, briefly as I looked at her.  She could not hold my eyes.  I then after looking at her for a few seconds, which most likely felt like hours told her, "beg the kiss of your Owner".  She did so, and she was kissed very softly on her mouth and then to her surprise I took her mouth and owned it by applying a pressure on her lower lip with my teeth.  I saw her eyes open and the look of pain, surprise, fear, and yes lust overcome her as I did not let her go.  She moaned as I explained to her that the kiss reminded her she was indeed owned, and any affection she received from me were what I choose to give to her.  Then over the course of the next hour en route to our destination she was given various opportunities to verbalize and actualize her slavery.  It was apparent my calm effected her.  All I did was be myself, calm, interactive and intense and then at times intensely aloof - which is an oxymoron but aptly describes how one who wishes to "own" a slave treats them.  The girl was lost in her submission at the overwhelming effect I had upon her.  The fact is she learned what I meant when I said I would crush her - fully and totally and treat her the way a Man treats a slave, relentlessly bringing out their femininity.   She verbalized her consternation and was met with a bemused look - and a matter of fact statement - that I merely was who I claimed to be.  The question was why was she surprised.  She begged to be allowed to breath - and I reminded her of how she was to do so - to say, "please have pity Master, and look upon your girl with kindness".  Over the course of the next day she would say these words more than once.  On more than one occasion pity was not forthcoming.

After a while she was instructed about a few simple truths - the implements of her slavery.   I have not much use of elaborate toys - or props.  While I do have a few nastier items - three implements are symbols of her bondage.  The first was the belt -which I wear.  She was directed to kiss it and understand that it was at my waist for now but should the time come it would be in my hand, and she would know should she be found displeasing it would wielded by an Owner - not at all pleased with his girl.  This had a most desirable effect.  The blush on her face and the fear in her eyes, knowing that the belt was not planned on being used often, but may God help her if it were was evident.  I had been contemplating whether to use the belt on her at this time.  I have found that some girls have doubted my words about this - and ten well aimed blows to the ass send a most clear message to the slave.  She is being disciplined by her owner, not by a man how uses it for sexual erotica.  The belt is punishment, pure, physical and simple.  At times I have not used the belt as a reminder device - this was one of those times.  I didn't feel it was needed.  The leash was fetched by the girl in her mouth.  I told her she would be on it often - and yes, in public with it routed through her garments and held in my hand.  I would tell her when to dress in that manner so she would be on my leash.  I will confess that this marvelous slave had brought this to my attention - and I will add that I was impressed with her enthusiasm to be so well owned.   Then we talked about the collar and what it meant.  I showed it to her and explained how the internal locking mechanism worked.  I allowed her to kiss it and then told her to crawl and it was time for her to beg it.  The girl was made to understand that her life from this point on had one purpose - pleasing me.    The girl did so.

The rest of the night she spent on a leash - well most of it.  I then told her it was time for her to beg.  Which of course, she had done; fully and totally begging to me my slave.   I accepted her as mine and have already reminded her - not that she needed it but it pleases me to do so --- who begged whom?

I do not go into specific details of what transpired, but I will instead allow mari to give the description of the night's events. This will allow her to show the sublime and abject nature of her bondage to me.

I will later on give some description of our day Saturday and will have caught up on the narrative of the tale thus far.  The short of this story thus far is the girl met me here, liked what she saw, begged to meet me as my slave - and it was confirmed upon her.  Did it happen fast, yes, so what?  My objective is to have a slave girl.  A girl who pleases me, her objective was to find a Man that made her heart feel alive.  So it has happened.

The girl is helpless at my feet; I know it and she knows it.  She has learned that I am a stern owner.  I was not here to find a girlfriend - but a slave - she is now in my collar.  While I admit I have kindness towards the girl - she knows it is a gift to her - but her adoration of me to be fully shown at all times is the requirement.  I give her what I find pleasing to give; she gives all - and to the hand wringers out there - finds all.  I'm sure her sentiments will be duly expressed.  I am sure her growing adoration, desire, and need for me only grow.  Even as she reads these words and reflects upon her lowering I suspect she will beg to anoint her body with the perfume that my Owning her has created.

It is fitting that it be so.
I am Master; she is slave
I am Owner; she is owned.

I am,

Jeff

4/29/2010 10:37:17 AM
4/29

A continuation of a series of reflections and recollections of my time with a girl, marii.

I woke up on Monday and went about my normal routine - which typically means that I went to the park with my dog for a long walk.  It is a good way to start the day to be out of doors - to get some exercise - and to have some time to think.

On Monday I spotted marii on a chat program and we started to dialogue again.  Sunday's talk was truly wonderful.  I had admitted to her that at times I can be impetuous.  This is not at all a rare trait among dominant men, but can sometimes lead them into trouble.  I also know that impetuousness can be caused by many factors.  I also know that for a man to truly be a Master he must have the trait of humility -which may at first sound paradoxical but it is true.  A slave puts her full trust in her Master, and impetuousness can put her at risk - which is a serious breach and can lead to a lack of trust.

I know I am impetuous; I know I need to embrace the concept and readily apply that a Master above all is humble man - he learns from all - so he may conquer all obstacles in his path.  The girl gently begged to agree with me that I was impetuous - she knew I take things that I want - and while this is not at all a bad thing , she knew there was interest I am sure.

One thing about marii is that she had walked in the desert for nearly two years.  There was I found a reaction to our conversation - which was about the lifestyle and our thoughts of it, but also a general introduction to ourselves - our histories and our present estate.  Due to happenings marii was cautious - you can see it in her photo and her words - but then she did the most impetuous of things.  The girl begged that I speak with her - and begged to send me her phone #.  I agreed and we spoke on the phone for what seemed to both to be thirty minutes, but what was in reality nearly two hours.  Thankfully, our work patterns allowed this to occur.  However, I did have to eventually go to the office for work - and we closed.  There was a connecting and a bonding.  I told her she minced near me - like a she wolf - and I knew this to be true.  Her "mmm" not of groan but of assent assured me I had hit the mark - that I indeed started to know this girl. 

On the way to work I pulled behind a van.  On the back was  diorama of two wolves with a statue of The Madonna on both.  Having found out that marii was a practicing Catholic - who was not at all uncomfortable being on her knees - I stared at the van with interest.  Of course this was a coincidence - although I think that marii would beg to be allowed to differ in appreciation - which greatly pleases me, even I a hard data driven cynic could not be a little bit pleased that perhaps at the very least it was a most fortuitous occurrence that after speaking to the "she-wolf" who minced, I was greeted by two of them.  It is of perhaps no small importance that for the past few months - even though I had left - not angrily - or more accurately replaced the mysteries of the Church of Rome - that I oddly had been contemplating attending a Roman Church service for quite some time.  There is more under heaven than your philosophy, wrote Shakespeare, and I also know this to be true of my own philosophy.  Sometimes perhaps, Deep calls unto Deep.

The girl reacted to my call - of course she did -she is a slave and a strong one, and I am a Master and a strong one.  This was confirmed not only by her words by her writing to me.  The girl had minced and now was unable to go away, soon I knew she would beg to stay.  This pleased me.

By no means was this over - it was just beginning, but I knew it - and she did too.

The day progressed with her need growing - indeed the girl was hooked.  However, she did something that surprised and pleased me.  Often when a girl is met with a force that she feels compelled to submit to, she runs and will even act out.  This girl did not do so, in fact she became more submissive to this occurrence.  This was also most pleasing.  I am often amazed at slaves who think the defend their slavery by acting against its nature.  They will come to a powerful force and mince and then snarl and act out.  Do they think this matters to a Man who would want her.  At the best all it does is make him laugh and say - the girl doth protest too much - or at worst he sees her as one that may endlessly push and pull..  Some girls pride themselves in being a challenge and say I am not a "Stepford slave" as if this is not what the vast majority of men want.  If a man wanted to barter, fight and bargain there are plenty of females in the real world - as well as plenty of so called submissive women out there who they can enjoy a "blissful" game of push and pull.

I for one have little to no interest in that.  I am 47 years old and have lived with a woman for 13 years who lost her slave heart - and perhaps caused by me in some instances - and it is nothing but dreariness to live in such a relationship.  I am at the point in my life that I wish to own a woman who truly "wants" to be owned.  To be with a woman who "needs" to be owned.  To be with a woman who "begs" to be owned, and acts in accordance with her stated wants, needs and desires.  What is it about the human condition that makes us strive against that which brings us to a place of self-actualization?  I don't understand this in myself at times - but thanks be to God I found a girl who embraces the flow of her slave heart to her mind and then her body.  The girl was afire and knew she couldn't hide her mind from a Man she desired - began to pray would own her.  Even as I write this I am aroused - not overtly sexually - but it is there at the core of my inner being.

The day progressed and she wrote a letter to me - that she knew I would understand - that was compelled to speak with me and be near me.  Her words betrayed her and she knew that by letting me know of her desire it would have an impact upon me. I told her candidly that owning a girl as her appealed to me.  The girl had caught my eye and had shown her desire and her heart.  This simple statement let her know if she stayed, she would not stay in the same estate.  Her need would enslave her to me.

The reaction of the girl was splendid, one of a slave in need.  The fire of her soul had been ignited and she began to lose restrain in her replies.  Speaking of a combination to be wild and untamed - yet knowing that this expression of her femininity was only done in the context of being firmly under the control of another.  She hungered, had as a slave in general for a man to touch her heart, and now having been fed by me, her hunger exploded in need - the true hunger being awakened after being fed from the hand of a Man.  The closing line of asking for more tightened the chains she had put upon herself.  The girl was ready to beg.  The girl also asked for mercy by saying, is this not the way it should be.

These words shortly came in a brief letter - "rips down the hinges leaving it gaped open should you choose to come in".  I thought yes, she is nearly ready to beg.  The girl admitted her aroused sexuality since the last night and how the scent of it had been unknown for so long - she admitted her need to be naked to me internally and externally - this shy looking woman had lost all sense of shame - she had found her slavery in reality again.

Throughout the day her need grew - particularly as my work duties did not allow me to communicate with her.  This time was not used for her to retreat, no, she accepted what was occurring - she chose to follow what was brought to her. 

We spoke again briefly in chat and then for hours on the phone.  It is odd for I don't really like to speak on the phone for long periods.  So often the conversation is about sex or a mental domination game, which is of course helpful, but after 20 to 30 minutes, okay maybe an hour, what is the point.  I also am not a person generally for chit chat and small talk.  At work I am very focused and don't particularly like being interrupted by colleagues who wish to socialize at work.  I am not there for social reasons, I am there to earn income and render honorable work to my employer.  Of course I am happy when pleasant conversation exists - but I focus upon my job while at work.  I will confess that a pretty girl had distracted me, albeit with permission throughout the day. I digress, we spoke for another time of about two hours about many things, but not much about specific details of like/dislikes sexually.  In some ways this is good.  I don't like to do a checklist - and in candor I state up front some things I do not participate in - vile illegal activities which need not to be identified - but other than that all things are on the menu so to say, and she knew they would be if I desired them, as is fitting.  We also didn't talk much about "play" and this is good because I am not particularly interested in sado-masochistic activities.  I am not a sadist, though for quite a while I was a particularly effective "Top" who knew how to use the whip.  However, I view the infliction of harsh pain for sexual pleasure something I don't wish to delve in.  The girl also knew this and was of the same mind.  An important aspect of the type of relationship we both share is the place of the whip in the relationship.  The girl knows intuitively she will be whipped early in the relationship to know what awaits her should she be displeasing.  There will be little sexual about it "other" than it establishes the hierarchy of the relationship.  She knows she will kiss the whip and feel its sting and be done with it.  I also told her that she would be in steel - full time - living openly as a slave and that she would be pierced early in the relationship.  I also told her I would hold the key to My collar.  The girl understood this and more than welcomed it.  She yearned for such delights to impress upon her a physical sign of her bondage - she ran to her bondage and not from it.  The murmurs of assent and her opening furthered through the night and I had to go and told her I would call back shortly.

I made a mistake in time - got caught up reading the notes we had shared and walked the dog - and was a bit late on the call - not good.  When I did she was asleep.  I went back to the mails and responded in fully to them. 

When I awoke I knew I needed to do something that many Masters - even those who own slaves - needed to do and admit an error, and trust that it would be accepted.  I had said I would call at a specific time - had given my word - and had missed the call through an oversight.  Not a huge offense, but one that can cause doubts - one being is there another reason I didn't call.  Up till then I had only called her and it was not be plan or design - it was just how it happened. 

On the phone that next morning there was a tinge of fear in her voice - I heard it.  I apologized and gave the explanation for missing the call.  I also knew she "needed" but wouldn't ask for something to establish safety for her.  She needed to know that I didn't miss the call for another reason.  I gave her my phone # and I said to her, I want you to call this number any time you want and leave messages.  I've given you my work schedule and you know when I am home and when I am out - but I also don't care if you call at odd hours of the day - several times a day.  I also want you to leave messages there on the phone.  I want you to know that there is in fact nobody at my house but me, and that you can say anything on a message because no one would hear it but me.  On the other end there was sighs of relief and evidence of a voice breaking down a bit.  I knew what she had needed - and gave it to her.  I knew she was needing to beg of me ownership, but needed to be sure, that I was who I said I was.

The night before she had written something in Swedish - which translated to "I am his girl".  I later wrote back in the same tongue to her - Jag ar marilyn Befalhavare - I am marilyn's Master, but I had made an error, and it needed to be corrected.

I am,

Jeff






4/29/2010 8:40:37 AM
4/29/10
I write solely for the purpose of reflecting and then to analyze aspects of my relationship with a girl, marii.

I am very pleased to start to care for a girl, marii.  It is funny how the whole dialogue started. 

On Saturday, 4/24, I viewed her profile and photos when I extended the range of my search to the extent that I was willing to go.  The girl had some things on her profile that made me think she might not be a good fit for my collar, so I went away after reading the profile another time.  But there were things in the profile that caught my attention.  One was the sense of depth in the girl - the sense that she had maturity and depth.  I felt that this was a girl that I would enjoy spending time with.  I will also admit that my attention was drawn by her photos.  There was a wistfulness combined with factors of wisdom, submissiveness, and a softness which I found attractive.

I navigated back and realized, I liked this girl.  This girl was one that I wanted.  I sent a sincere but also a test message about a particular phrase in her profile.  The girl replied back, and there was a subtle grace and a quiet dignity in her reply.

I then wrote her a brief letter of introduction, and closed it with saying I know that some of the aspects may not seem ideal, but what loss is there in engaging in a dialogue that may at the very least bring us some happiness.  We have nothing to lose by talking.

Within a few hours we were talking - and she can talk which is wonderful.  I enjoy when a slave has a mind - that can later be submitted - and has a strength in her own inner slavery that she can be a slave, but maintain the ability to converse and express herself.  How else can a man own her if she doesn't do so?  How else can he learn her mind and her triggers to better own her, if she doesn't open the gates.

I admit I am forthright and candid.  I told her some of the not so good circumstances of my life, and told her that I was in a state of transition in many levels, but I also knew what I wanted for my life - and that I had a plan for it.  I admitted the impetuous nature I had at times.  The manner of her speech-how she begged to share with me warmed me.  I realized I spoke with a slave.  The words she shared with me, calmed me, and even in them I sensed a look of fondness for a Man whom she sensed things about - whom she wanted to sense things about - and whom she even already served - by a mixture of care, concern, affirmation and begging to add gentle questions.  The girl wanted to know me.  I also chose to not hide things - there are no real skeletons in the closet - that had been troubling me.  I shared what I viewed as my greatest shortcomings - and also shared as what I perceived were my strengths. 

We left the conversation - not wishing it to end, but due to the lateness of the hour did so.  We talked for nearly four hours that night.  And I left with a feeling of calm.  I was pleased to have spoken to a girl with such qualities, and knew that at the very least I had made an acquaintance I was better off for having known.

I close this portion of the journal of this road with marii.  I pray that as I reflect upon it I will learn to accept the lessons that come forward in time.  I pray that when she reads it, she will be encouraged and strengthened in her submissive nature.  I pray that any who may happen upon these words will also find some measure of hope that it is possible to be touched and touch another.  I will continue this in a short while with a new entry - a few days late - about our second day in our journey.

To marii a special prayer that your day goes well and that your slave heart beats strongly and safely.

I am,

Jeff

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sweetdesires78
 
 Age: 29
 Glasgow, Kentucky