WHO I AM

I’m looking for a long term, possibly permanent relationship with the right woman. I believe that relationships based solely on sex can be fun, but ultimately ring hollow which is why I’m after more, even a “happily ever after,” ending. I’m a bit shy and fairly quiet, sensitive without being too emotionally needy. I like the outdoors and don’t watch much TV. I am disease and drug free. I drink in such moderation that I’m a virtual teetotaler- I can’t remember the last time I had more than one glass of wine, and even that’s a rare thing. I’m a vegetarian who supports kindness to all living things, but have trouble with hardcore PETA types. Actually, I have trouble with most people with hardcore ‘everyone else is wrong’ political views, regardless of their orientation. As for my own personal politics, I have Libertarian sympathies, but an intellect that understands the Libertarian party won’t ever be effective because of its own refusal to compromise. Though I like people, and can function in most social settings, I’m more comfortable with small groups than large crowds.

A lot of dominant and switch women are turned off by lists of activities complaining that the men who make them are not ‘true submissives.’ I can understand this, but I hope such women are more offended by the ‘do me’ nature of men who treat dommes as fantasy fulfillment machines than those who offer some idea of where common ground may lie. While I understand that there are a variety of slave training and conditioning techniques, from formal to seat of the pants, only the truly sadistic never want their slaves to enjoy themselves. That said, I’m interested in an equal and loving relationship outside of sex, but my sexual being needs to submit- at least sometimes, and can dominate occasionally.

Sexually, I believe that bondage and discipline are important and let people feel, connect, and express themselves in a deep way that language often fails. When I submit I love to feel helpless, controlled, and used for another’s pleasure. I melt when in bondage, have a love/hate relationship with butt plugs and other passive anal training devices, and a ‘moth to the flame’ fear of strap on dildoes. I’m fond of providing personal services including bathing, foot and body massage, oral servitude, ritualized undressing and dressing of my mistress, either with a fixed or averted gaze. I respond to forced nudity, teasing and denial, chastity training, supervised masturbation, posture and position training, sensory deprivation, intimate contact with other slaves/subs I have no emotional bond with, orgasm on command, and objectification- though these things are a bit edgy and can take a nasty non-erotic turn in the wrong situation. I’m willing to undergo pain and forced feminization for the right woman- they aren’t exactly fun for me, but if they’re part of your essence I’m willing to participate. I find the idea of being cuckolded exciting, but that is severe edge play and I’m not sure if I’d be able to handle it without careful preparation. About the only things that really turn me off and would run into hard limits would be any kind of scat/urine play, and public play in a non-kink exclusive environment as this brings non-players involuntarily into the mix, which is a clear violation of the Safe, Sane, and Consensual mantra.

And though I can be truly content as another’s slave, I can also dominate. If this is your desire expect to be stripped, bound, fondled, and kept on a leash for extended periods. Expect to serve in the nude. Expect to be bound while you sleep. Expect every aspect of your training to be documented and photographed, and though I will respect your privacy and not reveal your face if that’s your desire, you can also expect those photos and observations to be widely disseminated in the hopes of using you as a teaching device to help put other women in the exact same situation. Naturally I respect hard limits. I recognize submission as valuable and loving gift and would never want to inflict true emotional or permanent physical damage on someone giving me something so wonderful. I’m also willing to participate in activities you may enjoy, though I find it difficult to inflict physical pain or use verbal degradation. Again, as when I’m submitting, I will not do anything that violates the cardinal rules of BDSM- Safe, Sane and Consensual.

Finally let me say that these things when viewed in cold and clinical ways can seem a bit untoward, but I see them as adjuncts to a deep and committed loving relationship and friendship.

WHO I’M LOOKING FOR

Even though the woman I’m looking for is at least part dominatrix (and possibly part submissive), the woman for me would be described by friends and family as ‘nice.’ Kindness, empathy, and concern for others are qualities I won’t live without. This world can be a mean, cold place, but it doesn’t have to be, and I won’t live with someone who has given up on it, or let it shape them. I also like a partner with an easy laugh and wicked sense of humor, and above average intelligence is always a plus.

I’m looking for an interested and interesting woman. I find healthy relationships are fostered when people have interests and passions outside their immediate work and social spheres. Doll collecting or motorcycle racing might not be as important as saving the rain forests in the grand scheme of things, but it can be in terms of personal development. I don’t mind partners who watch TV, but if your life revolves around work, then sitting front of the TV for five hours a night, things might not work out between us. Also, if you’re a social butterfly who must spend 3 nights a week clubbing we may not be a good fit.

As far as physical attributes go I like women of most types. Though I admit to having a thing for short women with curves, I also find thin women attractive. I’m attracted to all races though extremes are intoxicating- skin that’s alabaster, freckled, or jet black. Hair is like skin for me. I can take virtually any type, but that which isn’t average can make me take notice quickly- super short or long, extra curly, platinum blond, or shocking red. The only physical attribute I can’t find attractive is a body type in which a woman’s belly is larger than her hips. I honestly mean no offense to anyone with this body type, but I don’t find in attractive. I know how hard it can be to be rejected because of physical attributes. I’m bald and many women won’t consider a bald man for a mate, but I have to accept that.

Since I’m interested in a long term relationship and possibly marriage, I’d like to find a woman of child bearing who is interested in having a family.