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HunterR7
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I am looking for a real, lasting, relationship with a single, dominant, employed, educated man.
SINGLE: I am not interested in poly or "discreet" situations.
DOMINANT: There are men out there who are just control freaks who think they can use this lifestyle as a means of avoiding intimacy while still getting their dicks wet whenever they want. Those men are deluded and sad. However, if you are a control freak who wants to get all up in my head because you know, and embrace, that this lifestyle provides a framework for even deeper intimacy, please say hello. If you know, without me having to explain or teach you, how to bring me low, please say hello. If you can do that while still being tender and a gentleman, please, please say hello.
EMPLOYED: I am ultimately looking for something long-term, and reality is that if I make more money than you, I will resent pulling the load for both of us, and submission will be impossible.
EDUCATED: I myself am educated, and much like many people say regarding fitness, "I work hard to be fit, and I expect the same in a partner," that's how I feel about education. I can't help it that I'm instantly turned off by messages and profiles that say things like "your beautiful" or "How's you're day?" or "How r u?"
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.”
― N.H. Kleinbaum Dead Poet's Society
About Me:
I am 42. I've been married twice. I don't have kids, but I still have student loan debt. I discovered this part of myself quite a few years ago, but was involved in a vanilla marriage at the time. My explorations have been limited, but I'm quite sure of what I want, what I am. My job is fairly portable, meaning there are people doing what I do in every city in America, so relocation is possible. It seems unlikely that the ONE person that's right for me also happens to live in Charlotte, NC. But we'll see.
At times (bitter) men have mocked the notion they call "The One True Dom." Like I'm holding out for something that doesn't exist so I should just give up and settle for Him. There's a country song I think of in response to that, "I ain't settling for just getting by, I've had enough so-so for the rest of my life." Meaning, I'm okay now, as I am. I want to find that ONE TRUE DOM, but I don't *need* someone in my life bad enough to just give up and settle.
Kink is important, but it's not enough. I want companionship and friendship and love and fun and a functional, stable home as well. You know, white picket fence and a dungeon in the basement... a tall order, I know.
That means if you're looking for a hook-up or NSA or similar, I'm just not into it. Not because I'm prudish, but because the kind of sex I need can't be had so casually. I'm just not that girl. That DOESN'T mean I want to move fast toward that white picket fence.
I like urban exploring, cities in general, and any place that's rich with people and things to see. Kurt Vonnegut is my favorite author, and I love science fiction. Red wine is always a win with me. I've been moving towards healthier and healthier lifestyle choices these last few years and welcome people into my life who encourage and support those goals. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking, not because I love it but because I'm eating paleo, so if the idea of keeping me company in there sometimes doesn't throw you off, that would be awesome.
~~I'm happy to share pics with you if we click after a few messages, but I can't show my face here. But since nobody looks at profiles without pictures, I had to put something up. Because you can see the tops of my boobs in this picture does not mean I'm easy, or that I want to discuss my tits with you. #justsayin ~~
~~ Smoking of anything at all (cigars, weed, cigarettes, cloves, crack, bath salts, pipe tobacco, etc.) is an absolute non-starter for me. Even occasionally. Sorry. ~~
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Regarding Slavery:
I find the word "slave" deeply offensive. I don't see how people can just overlook the fact that a master and slave relationship is an inherently exploitative, abusive, and cruel one, and slavery is, by definition, involuntary. |
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A couple of people have asked me about the statement on my profile about money. So I will clarify:
It has to do with me pulling the load for the relationship. I take it as given that in any and all households, whether she works or not, a woman will do 80% (or more) of the housework. Pulling that plus the majority of the financial load is too much. Too much stress. And to be honest, I don't make very much. If a man is in his 40s and doesn't make at least as much as I do, something else is wrong with him. He may have a problem with authority, or is a drug head, or unstable, unable to hold a job. Something. I've been the one in the relationship that does all the housework and all the paperwork and all the errands and takes care of allll the responsibilities as well as earning most of the money, and it is a miserable place to be. |
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Right now, this is happening:
Try to follow me here.
There's a man contacting me who seems pretty reasonable, articulate, sane. Jackpot, right?
But he has in his username one little word that makes me think that maybe he's the same guy as this OTHER person that's also contacting me. So I think, "I'll just ask him if he has more than one username."
But that's so suspicious. It's not fair to bring the bitterness and mistrustfulness accrued to all the assholes and liars and meanie heads on CM into each new conversation. I told myself if I started to get bitter like so many people on here that I'd shut down my account and take a break for a while before I'd rant on my profile about how many "fakes and liars and losers and fill-in-the-blank are on this site."
I mean, seriously. How UNappealing is it when you go to someone's profile and they're insulting you for even being here at all? That gets old. So I ignore men who have the obligatory everyone-on-Collar-Me-is-a-wannabe rant on their profiles. I don't have time to PROVE my reality to everyone who emails me. If you've already got a chip on your shoulder, then GO OUTSIDE and talk to people.
I said all that to say this:
I'm not going to ask this man if he has two usernames. I'm going to ask him things about himself, and I'm not going to be shy to probe anything he says that sounds like bullshit. But I'm not going to saddle him with the weight of every stupid-ass conversation I've had here.
I hope he will do likewise. |
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If you don't know what "masochist" and "sadist" mean, then I'm pretty sure your claim to having years in the lifestyle is bullshit.
just saying. |
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No, just so you all of you know, I am NOT into k9.
Please do not message me to ask or mention that.
I like human males.
Thanks. |
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From Story of O:
"... you must never look any of us in the face. If the costume we are wearing in the evening -- the one i am now wearing -- leaves our sex exposed, it is not for the sake of convenience, for it would be just as convenient the other way, but for the sake of insolence, so that your eyes will be directed there on it and nowhere else, so that you may learn that there resides your master, for whom, above all else, your lips are intended." |
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I love this post from a blog called "Memoirs of a Discerning Dom." I did not write it, I merely post it here because I identify with it fully.
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The secret fear of submissive girls is that the dom may not have the mental strength to keep going to the point where she can take no more. She’s afraid he may stop too soon. She’s picked him for her dom because he is a good man. After all, it’s a relationship, like any other. She wants someone who is sympathetic, kind and caring; who doesn’t want that in a partner? But can a nice guy really be the strict, indeed implacable dom she craves, one who is indifferent to her whimpers, her half-suppressed appeals for mercy, who is relentless in subjecting her to pain and humiliation?
What the submissive girl needs is to be overpowered, to be made to yield. She wants to be stripped of every last vestige of resistance. She doesn’t want a dom who takes pity on her just because her bottom is looking a bit pink or because she squeals when the clamps go on. As the pain increases, a tension is set up in her mind. Gradually the pain approaches the point where it becomes unbearable. Soon she wants it to stop. And yet, and this is the true mystery of submission, she doesn’t want it to stop. She wants to see how much more she can take. She wants the sort of dom who might say to her, a minute or two after he has allowed her to take the clamps off, at the point when she thinks she might faint from pain, ‘And now put them on again. Do it.’ For that she needs a dom whose desire to cause her pain will ultimately prove stronger than her desire to suffer it.
Of course if you aren’t strictly a masochist, you can read, instead of pain, humiliation, ification, and any other kind of control. It doesn’t matter what the dom mobilises to ensure his will is obeyed. The point is just the same; she has to feel certain that he won’t give up, that he won’t let her off lightly.
When, in the cold light of day, she contemplates the full implications of this, she frightens herself. Surely she doesn’t really want this. She needs a safe word, she needs her list of hard limits clearly understood, she needs to feel she can bale out if it gets too tough. But there’s a corner of her brain where this isn’t what she wants at all. The thought that he might really have the power and the desire to push her beyond what she can bear makes her head swim, it makes her cunt clench and drool. Has she finally met her match? Please, she prays, spare me from a kindly dom. After it’s over I want his kisses and caresses and soothing words. But right now I want to plumb the depth of his cruelty. Make him adamantine.
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| Age: 28 |
| Newcastle,
United Kingdom |
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