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All I want to do is please someone a way only someone without the fetish added by being truly 100% there for you |
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First things first I use my cell phone cause my computer is windows xp and is flooded with viruses and my phone doesn't have flash player.
This is the most important and my last journal post, cause of how important it is and exactly describes how I feel and view the lifestyle and if you truly want to know what this submissive person feel like you will read it cause this is actually something I haven't seen many other men do.
This is kinda mean and makes me hate myself for saying it but it has to be said.
If you look at all my journal posts from the beginning I have said the same thing over and over again, just in different ways no one who doesn't mean it will go this long with this type of charade, no one would take the time to say the same thing over and over in different ways that would be to much work and patience for a faker or liar to do.
I say this mostly because I am meaning what I say which is this is this it's not a fetish it's for your needs not mine. But due to all the people who say something and do the opposite. It just seems so cruel to me that I get punished for other peoples mistakes. Added to the fact I'm stereotyped as just another male who doesn't intend to keep his promises. Anyhow I bet this won't change anything in your opinion I just wanted to say what I'm feeling.
The only thing I ask is that I stay at home and clean the house instead of work at a job. Also the further away from me you live my family is very meddling and will wonder why I'm going that far away. Just so you know I will ask questions when you tell me to do something. I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I'm just a very curious individual.
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I've really had to refrain from changing my profile text information so far so good plus if I promised myself that I won't say what I don't intend to do plus I'm ten times harder on myself when I don't do or intend to do my humble and holding myself accountable for my actions not anyone else makes it ten times instead of two times.
I don't blame anyone else I blame myself cause others aren't making me fail I am and I truly try to get better in the area I failed with. |
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I ask to be friends before I talk to you so I know I am not wasting your time |
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Absolutely none of my brothers have cheated and I plan on being like them and never cheat on the female I'm with |
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A little power always and very easily makes my head a bit to big and turns to complete power |
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I put myself as submissive cause I am to bold to be a slave and to timid shy and raised to respect women to be dominant and I'm not gay so that leaves me best as a submissive person. I was raised with 8 sisters so I have pretty good training and practice only one is younger than me. My parents main goal for all there sons to respect women I follow that more literally then my brothers not that they don't respect women they do but still maintain dominance over everyone in there families. |
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I've figured if I just leave the site on my phone and set it aside I will get more views so please don't be mad at me if I don't respond right away and I have no internet connection until 3pm weekdays and all day weekends |
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I don't have confidence to go out and contact someone when I do it's either I had a sudden boost in confidence I don't get that many times the most I do is favorite you contact is mostly asking for friends I very rarely do that cause I think I'm not very high on the leaderboard compared to others I'm more humble and a virgin I might add and never been in the lifestyle but grew up learning housework and other things but my shy timid personality made me better at housework then working a job. |
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I figured that eventually someone will come and ask me not cause I've have self-esteem to contact someone I want to serve if they want me make first contact cause I'm to shy and timid person |
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Reason I don't suck dick is because sometimes it looks like a juicy sausage and I love eating sausages bacon and eggs |
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I don't know if it's odd but the only experience is what I've seen in the BDSM porn videos mostly lesbian cause I feel more in touch with them cause I'm the clean stay at home cooking type plus I don't hide my emotions if it hurts I will cry beg and promise I will try better but I will be crying cause unlike most men I grew up with 8 sisters and 3 brothers I'm a shy and timid which made me better a cooking and cleaning with my sisters also gave me time to improve my computer skills where I can build repair and troubleshoot problems with the computer |
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I thought that because I'm shy person which makes me discreet someone would want me cause they can bring regular friends over and I wouldn't let them know about your secret life you don't want others to know about I guess experience and it being a fetish is more important than discretion, true loyalty and someone who stays with you through everything you've done to me |
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Ever since I turned 18 I've been used might as well continue I obviously have a target on my back but I don't know whether this is good I've never found someone to give me a chance or if it's bad cause I'm obviously not right for mistresses which means I will have to find a girl who will stand up to me when I get mad the old fashion way |
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I also wish I was like a girl cause I'm much better at cleaning a house and staying at home then holding a job I'm serious all I can ever find is minimum wage jobs I suck at it |
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Sometimes I wish the doctor was right when he predicted to my birthmom I would be a girl cause I have the feelings of a girl but my hatred for men makes me stay male |
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It seems to me being one person who actually cares about your satisfaction and not mine and does everything you want is to much for you to handle no offence intended |
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I went into this thinking that women wanted someone to be there punching bag and stress reliever that was my reason to do this cause I feel it's better to harm or beat me up then someone who would toss you aside like a piece of trash for some other mistress |
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The main thing I'm observing is that a mistress want to give some control and power to the sub or slave it's sad to that I say you get all the power but you obviously don't want that just my opinion and observations I have been on multiple sites and no one want to control someone without the slave having the power to stop whenever they want to guess I will have to be single til I find a abusive girlfriend the old fashion way |
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Must be a failure when I say the truth and what to expect from me and no one gives a damn that I exist or want a chance |
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I already feel like a failure so this is a way for me to change by being the best and realizing I'm not a failure |
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It seems like depression anxiety and feeling lonely and not useful to someone is going to be my downfall but hey who ever said live was easy especially in a time when a lot of men view women as objects and abuse them which makes them timid or scared to take a chance on a nobody |
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You tend to get depressed when you know you can be the best slave and or submissive man but no one gives you a chance to prove it |
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I have learned that unless you are female or have experience as a slave or submissive you will never be contacted by anyone but the fake profiles who when they send two identical messages back to back |
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Why won't it or how do I get verified or where do I go for that and yes I'm very shy which is why I'm making it a journal entry instead of in a message board or chat |
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A wise thought is if you fear someone don't do something to anger the person you fear |
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Very rarely do you oppose someone you fear if that person controls whether you have a place and person to serve also if it's the last chance type of thing you definitely definitely don't want to do something that will get you kicked out or have the punishment of a lifetime which you will feel and remember the rest of your life |
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Yes fear is everything to me in a relationship I will literally stop doing or start doing something I'm asked if I fear you and what you will do to me if I disobey you |
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My parents taught me and I learned as a small kid is if you whine most of the time they will say stop or I will give you something to whine about |
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If I know you won't do anything to me if I do it I will do it just because I know you would do nothing |
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So my view of the choice to have one of these relationships is cause I will know that it's not tolerated and I could easily be punished for it if I don't sit down be quiet and stop disrespecting you |
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For me it's not how cute or how hot you are but how strong you are and how you easily strike fear in your slave without them faking there fear but actually have a fear of getting on your bad side that's what I look for cause again this isn't a fetish I prefer to be aboused then to have a relationship where the female scared of you cause your periodic times you are verbal and scary based on what you say while angry |
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The only thing that your view is only a small part is in one of a slave and mistress relationship cause you are there to impress them and serve them to the best of your abilities |
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The main beholder is you not someone else what you think weighs more than what someone else thinks I had to learn that with my anger and frustration as a kid |
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder also personality is also a good indication |
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I was raised with 8 sisters and I developed a liking for cooking cleaning and able to do female laundry I'm heavily a staying at home/ taking care of the home type not due to being lazy but I am very antisocial current job is dishwasher and I am doing by myself and I don't need to talk much to other people they actually let me listen to music |
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Observation is the name of the game after a while I will know your angry and you better not give me a reason to punish you face also the face that tell me I'm getting to hyper or the you better stop face or the face that tells me that this will be a very painful session and I may go to bed crying and trying to beg non intentional just a reaction cause unlike most men I do show my feelings I'm a male who has female traits but is very stubborn and won't change my gender no matter how girlie I am at times |
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Ok hope you have a gun cause I will never use one in a home invasion I prefer to use a hammer and break ankles but I never snitch so I give them the chance to call the cops on themselves or I let them crawl out the door I will even open the door for them cause after all my mom taught me to be a gentleman |
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I'm hate the fact I know I'm male but being able to hold grudges and my feelings get hurt easily and I'm basically more of a girl but I like being male cause if you look like a very scary or tuff male you will have less problems with men |
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I hate that I push away the weak females cause I don't want a relationship where she is scared of me I would rather go to bed bruised injured and crying then having a wife scared of me |
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please help me i with what my profile may need to have i am new so i just put what i am |
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hi i am a virgin my name is jake i am looking for a mistress for LTR, 24\7 |
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I also think that going to a pro domme who has tribute is more like false domination cause you know you dont really doing anything to get dominated and it just bores me. |
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