I have to laugh when I see profiles from the same people who have been faking it here for over 6 or 7 years.  Their ages never change, their photos never change, what they are doing never changes (29 and finishing my masters degree...for like 9 years???...really lexi???)

Based on messages and contacts sent and received, I need to make some adjustments as to avoid wasting my or anyone's time.

I'm looking local to the north Georgia and Atlanta area, say from Athens to Atlanta to Chattanooga, give or take, for face to face real relationships.  Not looking for out of state, long distance, or online.  I do not have the time for that and will politely decline if approached.

I'm not seeking someone to own 24/7 or a submissive to micro-manage.  Not looking to be someones daddy or for any age play, that's just a bit creepy.

What I am seeking is the exceptional, intelligent, well-educated masochist who is looking for her equally intelligent and playfully evil sadist, interested in an intense and edgy sexual BDSM relationship.  Be good at communicating, have a great sense of humor, and above all, want to explore your perverse sexual cravings and BDSM fantasies.  You should be someone who can dive into the taboo intensity, completely immerse yourself in the moment, but laugh and talk about it afterwards.

Age and marital status are not factors, I've had excellent relationships with women 20-50, married and single.  I'm much more interested in finding the right mind and digging into that to experience the combination of the physical and mental. If you are in a relationship, please make that clear.  I don't mind being the special cookie you crave every once in a while, just so long as that is clearly communicated upfront. 

No jumping into anything, I need to get to know you first before deciding if anything more is a good fit.  I have had a few experiences that I would not like to repeat.

Things I like?  Bondage, S&M, love anal sex and ass play, steel toys and restraints, forced orgasms, especially enjoy consensual/non-consent play.  Would prefer that my partner be into play of this type.

Things I don't do?  No scat, blood, permanent marks, or dead things.  I really have few limits but will respect yours fully.  Crossing a well defined line is not cool and ruins any trust.  Won't happen here.

So how many of you have had or currently have partners who think this mainly consists of the following:

Step 1:  Tie her up
Step 2:  Spank her
Step 3:  Fuck her

 In many conversations with friends and partners I've had over the years, this appears to be the prevalent experience.  Its seems the vast majority of guys follow this three step process, with an emphasis on step three.  No wonder their partners get bored or crave for something more.  If your guy is doing this, then he just doesn't get it.

There is vastly more to it, and quite frankly step three is the least of the lot.  For starters, the guy needs to have an understanding of his partner, her self-being, her personality, her thoughts, fantasies, her buttons, what makes her tick.  Second, he has to put that knowledge together with insight and know where he should be leading her in any type of an encounter or play session.  

And the key word there is LEAD!  She wants you to have a plan and lead.  She really does not want to tell you what to do with her or what she wants, you wants you to have the brains and powers of listening and reading her signals to figure out what she wants you to do.  Its fine to have conversations, ask questions, propose ideas in advance, but she certainly does not want to instruct her top what to do during play.  That kills it for her.

Use your imagination and don't do the same damn thing over and over every time.  Put some twists in, do something new or different each time, keep her guessing.  If its the same predictable thing all the time, she's going to get bored.

If she likes the more intense and edgy kind of things, you better get the do's and don'ts clear upfront, especially in things like consent-non-consent play.  Worse thing that you can do with your partner is cross a boundary and in particular a hard boundary.  So get it very clear where those lines are when doing the edgy stuff.

So guys reading this, do yourself a favor and broaden your mind.  There's more to this than just three steps.

Another series of questions that came up are "what are you into"?  Obviously S&M is a primary one as demonstrated in my profile, but as I have few hard limits, it would be easier to say what I'm not into or cool with doing.

I don't do scat, blood, age play or daddy/daughter.  I don't do dead things, under-aged partners, or something that would leave a permanent mark.  I have no interest in groups or in engaging and managing multiple partners.  I don't want a slave, not looking to do training sessions, assign duties, or the rest of that bullshit.  And I certainly don't want to "own" someone or  micro-manage a submissive partners life.

With two exceptions, I like rope bondage more than leather restraints.  Rope is just some much more classic and has a lot more possibilities, it's never boring.  But, I do like leather armbinders and hoods, they have a purpose and look all their own.  I like high quality floggers and single tail whips, and nearly all toys I use are now stainless steel.  Of course an Hitachi is a must.

For how I'd like to meet and know someone, I'd say I'm far more interested in building a very close and solid friendship with someone who shares my tastes and interests in bondage and S&M, and who wants to explore those interests with me as her experienced partner.  This has worked very well for me in the past.

I envision it as someone I'd enjoy having coffee or a bite to eat, both knowing full well that in a couple of hours she'll likely be in a severe and restricted hog-tie as we explore just how well she can control her orgasms.  Unable to resist, I'll pull them one by one from her body and soul,  applying alternating pain and pleasure until the line between them are blurred beyond recognition, tears running down her face, all while whispering a devilishly perverse mindfuck in her ear.

In other words, I'm looking for that intelligent masochist who wants to have fun with a playfully evil sadist.

Since the question came up a couple of times after I posted my profile, I made a change to clarify something.  No, a PhD isn't a requirement I have for a partner. I'm simply communicating my preference for someone with a high degree of education or someone who is a life-long learner with ambitions to be more than they currently are. 

B.S, B.A, Master, Doctorate, a work in progress, etc., they are all fine.  I'm draw to intelligent women who have a taste for S&M that matches my own.  If she demonstrates she's got the kind of brains that captures my attention, then I'm fine.