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Up until now, I have felt a responsibility to maintain my independence as well as my submission. Education, career, financial responsibility, social activism, and an equal meeting-of-the-minds with the guys I date.
Lately, though, I've realized that these manifestations of independence are temporary at best. Sure, I keep waking up and putting my best "bad-ass single girl" face forward, but deep down I'm looking for a guy to use me up and take me over. If I don't find someone to take control soon, I'm going to wind up completely out of control, and ultimately dead in a ditch.
I'm looking for a one-woman man, age 24-40, in good physical shape (you can change mine as you'd like), in a secure financial situation, and living in North America who is ready to get married, have kids, tear me down, loan me out, and otherwise make me his. Please be non-religious, mature, independent, attentive to your family, single, drug/disease-free, and childless.
I am an experienced bottom, divorced, living on my own in the public eye. I have another profile on here which is more complete, in terms of pictures & journal entries, but less soul-baring.
My hard limits include deliberate exposure to disease, shaving my pubic hair (I know, it's weird, but this is a really big deal for me), introducing new people into the relationship (beyond an occasional evening/weekend adventure), and anything that might involve other people who haven't given their consent to be involved in our sex lives.
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I think it would be neat to meet the sort of guy who knew how to run "bait and switch" on me in a way that would really captivate me. Somebody who knew how to be & say & do all the right things, but who had ulterior motives and knew from the start that he was going to turn the situation on its head after it was too late for me to help myself.
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The longer I go unowned, the more frustration I feel. It's like every day that nobody directs and disciplines me is a waste of my potential, not only as a slave, but as a person. Seriously, I have two university degrees, a career at the top of my field in this tri-state area, no drug habits, no kids, no diseases, no financial mess, no psychological conditions... I realize I'm not 19 years old, nor am I under 120 pounds, but surely there is someone who appreciates what I am offering enough to claim it for himself!
To be fair, there have been a few. Some of them have, in my opinion, taken real advantage of me -- wanting to drive me into financial ruin, drug dependency, single motherhood and/or prostitution without offering a commitment in return. Others have been decent men who just don't match up with what I'm looking for. And, honestly, some are decent men who do meet my standards but are no match for the status quo of my daily life.
Please, I'd be a good slave. Won't you take me home?
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I often think about female circumcision. Going from a pierced clit to a clitorectomy. While I don't approve of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) as a cultural or religious practice, I think it's something that could figure beautifully into my ideal M/s relationship. The purity of being aroused, but unable to achieve climax, forced to dedicate myself to my partner's pleasure. Forever.
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There are some really deviant guys here on collarme -- and they get me thinking. Thanks especially to the guy who recently asked me whether I would consider an arranged marriage.
Honestly, yes, I would. That kind of relationship is the kind of bondage that is enforced by social pressure. I like the idea of signing over my life & my property to a man I've only just met, as though everything up to that point has just been me preparing myself for him.
I'm aware that some people might consider this a Sleeping Beauty complex, but come on? Isn't it exciting to think about?
It goes very well with my fantasies of being blindfolded the first time I meet my Dom, and only be allowed to see him once he has already decided to own me.
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Age: 35 |
Virginia beach,
Virginia |
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