An answer to a question asked elsewhere:

Promiscuity was never a bad thing. Monoamory is a perpetuated mindset enforced by tradition, and in many cases lately, economic interests. But it's no more natural than promiscuity, polyamory, even polygamy.
It takes a certain level of maturity and self-security to be involved with multiple partners or a series of new ones. Proving to oneself that you have that maturity, and the confirmation that you are desireable enough to attract them, is very empowering.
But it takes no less of either to maintain a committed monoamorous relationship. Perhaps even more. The difference is that many people who can not handle it are entering into one/staying in one regardless of the consequences showing they are not ready, or it's not the right way for them at that time.
Don't ever feel pressured to live your romantic or sexual life any one specific way, whether it be committed, promiscuous, straight, gay, chaste, dominant, submissive, whatever. And don't ever feel discouraged from experimenting with new ways, or even sticking to ones you find you like. That's how our society learns and grows.

Do you ever get that feeling, when looking through the various subs and doms out there, that feeling something you can't see is repelling you? It's like in a horror movie when the killer is nearby but right out of sight, a creeping, sickly feeling in the back of your gut. 

You just feel there's some horrid madness going on there. Like a s/m in sub's clothing, or someone who is fishing for a mate to keep them off ICE's radar, someone who wants to pee on your feet, or has a horrible disease or mental issue. A hundred things. 

I have a default sound that plays in my head when that alarm goes off. Remember the powerpuff girls? Remember that little creepy noise that went off every time they mentioned Satan? Yeah that's the one. It's so perfectly descriptive. 

A choosy woman looks with disdain upon a man who pursues every woman with attractive qualities. She will turn him down, and wait for her ideal suitor, down to the detail. 
She will sleep alone tonight. He will not.

Why are so many people form Indiana suddenly looking at me? I haven't lived there for years. You all missed your chance. 

You can't divorce yourself from what you are? You can't question the origins of your thoughts? You can't make decisions about what comprises you, why fundamentally you choose what you do?
Then you are not a person, and I will not treat you as such.
Tell me who you are! Tell me who you want to be! CAN YOU TELL ME THAT?!

I no longer get butterflies in my stomach. The acid reflux burned them all up.

Now I see a vanilla relationship and a D/s arrangement as quite different things, with different structure, different rules, etc. But there are some things that really don't make sense in either. Some people seem to take the fact that they're shedding their awkwardness about being a BDSM enthusiast, as license to air out all the crazy things they want. 

Like your financial slave owners. A lot of people have thought quite often "I want someone to just follow me around giving me money," and many people have relationships along these lines; But it's one thing to wiggle you way into it, it's another to just look someone in the eye and say the above. 
Or the slaves/subs looking to relocate immediately. As the initiative to a D/s or M/s relationship. The obvious question is, what if you're a crap slave/sub? Does your top leave you on the side of the road in a box that says 'Adopt Me'? What if you're a murderous psychopath? Knifeplay suddenly switches definitions in the middle. 

Further a lot of people are here looking for their Dark Prince/Princess Charming, thinking it will be a whirlwind romance tinged with leather and rope. But see that's what you look for on a normal dating site; I find people in D/s communities tend to be more cynical about romance. It is an optional interest for profiles. 

Even so, a lot of people arrive on scene with a glamour shot in hand of the exact person they want to sweep them off their feet. Unfortunately for them, there's really not that many of us for that  to have fair odds of happening. The rest of us don't like being judged for not fitting so perfectly, or fitting well enough but having no interest in the scenario as proposed. 

Point is, just because we're proud to be able to admit we're fetish enthusiasts to everyone else here, doesn't mean the floodgates get cranked to their max open position. There's a difference between freedom of expression, and lack of impulse control. Not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to let their impulse control slip; I'm a filthy liberal. But don't take it seriously, and don't expect anyone else to.

Protip: If you describe yourself as a submissive, a more elaborate description should not be peppered with the phrase "I want". Remember, it is not to control, it is to be controlled. It is not to desire, it is to fulfill another's desires. It is not to chose, it is to try to be chosen. 

http://oglaf.com/submission/1/

Most of the human race, judged by a relative standard, are ill-deserving respect for their will. A submissive acknowledges this fact, a dominant scorns it. Memorable quote.

I'm the kind of person who rolls over, stretches, leaves a nail mark in the paint, then reaches down and pulls the knives out that were making the bed lumpy. How did those get there?

Sycophant - n, [sik-uh-fuhnt]; A self-seeking, servile flatterer.

Respect.

A touchy subject. Who do you respect? Your stance on this is another personal choice. Do we give respect freely until it is abused? Do we judge by reputation? Do we wait and watch, to judge for ourselves?

I believe that respect is earned. Through words, through actions, through whatever you can show people. Don't judge people on a secondhand opinion, don't give them the benefit of the doubt right off the bat. It's only fair to wait and see what they do. And never stop watching. The one who refuses to see anything clearly is as one blind to everything.

But others have their own opinions about respect. General, old rules that we're expected to follow. Respect the weak. Respect your elders. Respect a lady. Respect an officer. Why so often are we expected to lend respect to those who need it just to get by? Relying on our respect to achieve the same level as those resepcting seems to me the opposite of deserving it.

Here's where I'll get all the flak: The weak should respect the strong for supporting them, but have no humility. The elderly are only as wise as their ideas are still relevant. A lady spends a quarter of her time consumed with the hormonal mind altered state she skirts constantly. Officers of any institution require respect just to do their job well. And this last is fine if they earned the respect with the title, but packaging it on is a bad idea.

It seems to me all the people who deserve respect the least demand it the loudest. But then again, perhaps it's something else they need, that's called respect. What is respect? Is it making allowances more than one would for others? Or for oneself? Is it treating the boundaries of another as inviolable? Is it prostrating oneself before the subject in supplication to be given leave to exist?

When most people demand respect, what they really expect is that people do them just enough favors that they can get by, or be happy, without too much struggle. And it's expected that it be given. I see the word 'proper' thrown around a lot with the word respect. Anyone who knows me knows I hate the word proper. It's calling for enforcement of an unclear code of behaviour for all human beings based on who they are, and regardless who who they want themselves or their world to be.

That is to say, what if respecting your ideas clashes with or suppresses with my own? What if making an allowance for you, makes things harder on me than it is on you? What if my supporting your comfort makes you and your ideals weak?

Charity is the most admirable of human traits. Making it expected cheapens it like watering wine. I'm not going to stop talking to respect your words. I'm not going to give you what I have simply because you feel you deserve it. Including respect. You will earn it, and so will I. And if I don't get it when I've earned it, I'm not going to have a fit. I will take it.

It's been a while. I really should get in the habit of putting down my musings when they filter through, but life tends to sweep one away from each corner at which one stops to think. And the thoughts there hosted stay there orphaned, invisible, and thus unshared.

I find the eternal struggle, for a man like me in a world like this, is simply the opposition of pressure between each party. It's laughably obvious, and as simple as Newton's third law: For every action, there is an opposite reaction. Though to call it equal is often a mistake; We are Dominant for a reason.

But what is less realized is the effect it has on the Dominant in difficult cases. Especially when there are many such.

It becomes a struggle inside oneself, between continuing to push against a barrier that gives only a little; And resorting to that same coercion which all others employ, eventually to become the same kind of supplicant.

Worse, that barrier is flexible, to release he pressure, to take a break, would find it at next testing of the same strength and position as it had been to begin with. Thus the struggle, to never relax the applied force of one's personality.

 The problem is this restrains communication and affection. It leads to a dead-end in progress which can neither move forward or back. Finally, it wearies the soul. Such a quandary begs a solution other than luck.

I pondered the whole phenomenon of Dommes and foot worship. Looked at some of the displays, some of the play. I think I may have to come to a deceptively simple conclusion.

Feet are nasty. Since the dawn of time we've known it. They often touch the dirty floor and ground. They sweat in places that are impossible to clean, and sweat settles in the shoe and sock, percolating on the foot.

So I suppose a woman, with their delicate sensibilities and natural penchant for hygiene, may consider the foot their worst, most disgusting feature. A Domme set on humiliation would easily recourse to wanting such a part of them worshipped. For if a man were to worship their worst part, it lowers him and elevates them.

He gets a foot, unhygienic be inference, rubbed all over his face. He opens his mouth and kisses and licks it. He takes in her filth and worships it. So even her filth is higher than him.

Or something. Though to pierce the illusion, because I'm a malcontent, Domme's feet are just as nasty as anyone else's.

I am feeling a bit negative today. By a bit I mean it swirls in me like a whirlpool of acid. So I thought I'd wrap it around some things that have been on my mind.

No, honestly, I don't believe in commitment. Why? Because I hate you.

Not really, but that made you double take didn't it? Lots of guys won't commit. We have a biological imperative to have sex with many women hardwired into our lizard brain. But that's not the prime reason I don't feel like attaching myself to one of you. It's because I hate the idea. A connection based on emotion, the most mercurial, least controllable part of our psyches. When was the last time something you enjoyed without emotion was made better by it? Ok, but how about the last time something you loved was ruined by a bad mood? Ah. Then there's the lies, the exaggerations, the spur of the moment declarations. The basis of the whole. You both know s/he won't love you forever. You both know you look your age. You both know you're not the prettiest in the world, s/he does find others attractive, and although s/he might be lucky, they could be luckier. It's a house of cards and those only do one thing.

The pursuit of this farce keeps two people who both want the same thing from asking for it reasonably. It has to be dressed up in this awkward dance like the mating ritual of some shoreline bird. Either you want to press yourself tight against the other person but feel compelled to wait until they've proven themself trustworthy, and vice versa, or you've got this 'arrangement' with someone you feel no passion for, and you can't take your eyes off someone else. But the rules say that's a nono.

Sounds biased, but it's mostly the females' fault. It is. Who is the one almost always giving the go ahead for anything amorous? Could it be the more emotional of the two? The one with the nesting instinct hardwired, along with a predilection for being violently unstable one quarter of the time? Is there any wonder why D/s is on the rise?

Give my andro mates hell about it, but I think wanting to try to put as many people as possible into paroxysms of pleasure outclasses wanting to be cuddled for a few months. Which personally, I would do anyway.

I'll tell you what I won't do. I won't fall in love with you. Not even in the afterglow. I won't thrill to my core from a kiss. I won't spend hours telling you nice things about yourself. I won't be giving you copious pictures of me. I won't hang onto you in public like a teddy bear. I won't write you a love letter. I won't take you to fancy restaurants, buy you jewelry from zales, or rent a handsome carriage for us. I'm not going to write your name on my anything. And I won't be giving you anything with a heart on it.

I will, however, give you what you want as much as I have to give. With any part of me that I need to. As hard as I can, as long as I can, as thoroughly and deeply as I can. Because I like it.

I love some of the blurbs I come across where they give you the rundown on what they're looking for like this :

Hi there. New to this. I'm a hardcore sub and painslut, not looking for a LTR. I'm not into quick or casual sex, so don't talk to me if that's your thing. I'm really here to chat and make friends for now. Don't message me if you're not between 25 and 38, I'm just not into college guys or grandpas. I'm willing to open up to anyone if they take the time to know me, and perhaps after a while you can see me. I'm a party girl with no inhibitions and I want you to find out how crazy I am!

You want...what? It's  someone aggressively seeking out someone specific...to flirt with? Nobody is going to be interested after reading something like this. Course you'll still get those who don't read. Cheers.

Browsing around here provokes a few thoughts.

For one, what is this fascination with footplay that is so common among the dommes? Many choose to display their ability to use the foot, often associating it with dominant prowess. Even in the media, it's the common tagline: "These are my feet, worship them." "Lick my toes clean you lowly thing." "You like it when I put my dirty feet in your mouth?" The males have no equivalent drive for the worship of any body part. I believe many like their bodies to be worshipped, but this is another thing. Perhaps it has something to do with heels. I must ponder it.

Another thing is, I notice a dissimilarity in the expression of females between this continent and others (perhaps specific others, I haven't quite gone into it that far). When you see the faces of females put into bondage or lewd situations from this landmass they wear expressions of guilt or pain. But when you see examples of girls from across the water, you start to see an a large amount of pleased or playful smiles, and more relaxed posture. I'm not talking models, I mean personal photos. Could it be that females on other landmasses are taught different moral foundations, or perhaps they just naturally adopt a different attitude about such things? I'd like input.

I wasn't going to mention this but I felt like typing more, so I'll touch on it. Even the person uneducated in psych tells knows of the phenomenon of the sticker. It goes thus: A person, most usually on a social network and often female, begins presenting themselves with an assortment of 'stickers' bearing cliches about how they're of high worth, and only those of high worth will recognize it. Note these are usually identified as sources of unconditional love or friendship, bearing nothing but positive reinforcement for the sticker wearer. Most people familiar with such environments (who aren't the kind that use 'stickers') recognize this as the badge of someone with poor self image. Often this is due to perceived or real lack in physical appearance, social ineptitude, or psychological hangups. The why is a complicated and multi-paragraph thing, so I'll not bother expounding here. I'll save that for the inevitable hate mail. I just thought I'd blurt out loud that we know why the things are really there, for those who think they need them. This was also too long for a touch, really.

Brush with death. Illness this time. It'll be my..fourth I think. Took me away from you all for a week and a half. But it takes more than a deathblow to bring me down.

It may not be clear from what I say but I realize that no Dom is perfected, myself most of all.  But I seek perfection. I want to use you, precious, worthless, powerless subs that you are, to learn. Use you to perfect myself, and my technique. It would be the most noble use of you as a resource. What can you teach me with your will's sacrifice?

Man walks into a dance club with a girl dressed in leather straps, buys her a drink, and sits nearby watching the action. Bartender asks the girl what's up with the straps. She gives him a withering look and ignores him. Bartender asks the guy, "What's up with your girlfriend?"

Guy puffs up his chest. "She's not my girlfriend, she's my sub."

 Bartender thinks. "Oh like one of those S and M types. So she's like a slave?"

Guy shrugs. "Sort of."

Bartender glances down the bar. "You know Mary down there is into that. Some guy walked her on a leash last night all over the dance floor, left with her panties. I bet she'd love to be your slave or whatever."

Guy perks up, then sighs, "No, my sub would never let me."

Just a few thoughts. Feel priveledged. 

Firstly, I think that we have a mars/venus situation with many subs everywhere. Many female subs try their level best to divorce the sexual aspect of BDSM from the lifestyle, play and relations. "I want a man who will dominate me, not treat me like a sex object." First off, the definition of a kink is: a thing which enhances a sexual experience for the person who possesses that as a kink,  and a fetish is actually: a factor in sex without which climax is impossible. That's it. It's always been about sex, the idea is founded around sex, sex will always be a large part of it. Leading to the second part, it will always be a basic factor with men. I obviously don't know how it is with women, but men have a biological drive towards it, it's not a mental or ego thing. It affects our brain. It will always be the basic motive. When you're bemoaning the old men who drool over a simple light paddling and leather outfits, or the guy who turns out to be a ritualistic psychopath, keep in mind that these are what you end up with when you look for the guy to whom sex is secondary or worse. If you're not prepared to provide for this basic need of the relationship you're just playing games. 

Secondly, a notice. As it says, I have no interest in gay men, sissy boys, transvestites, shemales, male subs, or cuckolds. With the exception of the first example, you frankly disgust me. Without exception, your admiration is unwelcome. It's not a 'macho' thing, I'm not homophobic, but I am not even slightly bisexual. And the fawning mewling milquetoast attitude of a majority of the above turns my stomach. It's as if a man doesn't know how to be a bottom without being pathetic. That said, I have nothing against men in general, if anyone aside from the above wants to strike up words, I welcome the camaraderie.

Thirdly, some idle thoughts on what sadism really entails. As a sadist, I used to think it just encompassed my desire to inflict pain for my own enjoyment, only in the proper setting of course. But after reading up on some criminal pathology, I realize it is the prime attribute of many of my habits concerning others. To put it simply, a sadistic person will act on a person because they wish to elicit a reaction. They seek the largest, longest reaction, though not always for the least action. The most obvious, common example is to inflict pain to get that pained, sometimes emotional reaction, but there are others; Also well known is a sadist's tendency to manipulate others into distressing situations to 'feed' off their despair or angst. That said, it's really any kind of reaction not seen usually that interests the sadist. They study, explore, experiment with people, and withholding usually only encourages this sort of behaviour.