Trying this again, after a bit of a hiatus due to frustration with those who wanted to fit a square peg into a round hole. Sometimes you just have to tell yourself……”Yeah, this isn’t working!” and move on.

I believe a true Dom/s relationship starts with communication, which then builds trust, and then this is when discovery happens and a relationship is built. Each part of the Dom/s has responsibilities which need to be upheld, if not it doesn’t work.

This is what I am NOT looking for:

1. 1. A pain slut. Spanking can be erotic if done the right way, just as being tied up and restrained can be, but abuse is just what it is. Abuse. It’s not erotic or stimulating in my opinion.

2. 2. Daddy’s Little Girl. Been there, done that. Completely unfulfilling. Talk about a one way street. Being called “Daddy” is one thing; being taken advantage of is another.

3. 3. Slave. Our mom was smart and made all her sons learn self-reliance for a reason. I can be a pretty creative master scheduler for chores and tasks if needed which can accommodate a submissives need for service, but I'm not going to cage you and feed you from a dog bowl.

4. 4. Just sex. Collarme.com has enough guys out there who use this site for easy hook ups for nymphos who think being a total slut is being a submissive. That's just plain vanilla anyway you look at it. Don’t get me wrong, sex is fun and healthy; a great way to express feelings for each other, and is just plain nice, but it’s not the basis of a truly Dom/s relationship.

This is what I AM looking for:

1. A. Somebody who enjoys order and guidance. Don’t want to think about your day and wish somebody else would make the decision for you? Excellent. This is your lucky day! This encompasses many aspects of the relationship and can be discussed if the chemistry is there.

2. B. You’re the center of attention. If you don’t like your Dom putting you on display for others to admire and enjoy then you’re not going to make me smile with pride and satisfy a basic intrinsic need for me. We’re talking classy display, not trashy. You feel those eyes on you and the rush of blood to your face blushing? That is what I like to call “sweet” humiliation.

3. C. Communication. Completely important. I am not a mind reader and if I could read minds I would rule the world. When rapport is built then YES, I can read non-verbal cues and anticipate certain body languages and know what they mean, but if there is something wrong you have to say something. You may be submissive but that doesn’t mean you don’t have value or a voice. Speak.

4. D. Discovery and learning. If you don’t want to learn from your Dom then you won’t stimulate me at all. Opening doors of knowledge for my submissive is exciting and satisfying. Additionally, I can learn from my submissive as well. That's called wisdom.

I am selective in who I would spend my valuable time with, and I would expect the same from a potential submissive. Wasted time is very frustrating so the checks in the blocks must be there first. Time must be spent communicating with a potential sub first before ever even committing to a meeting. E-mail is good for me, and so is chat. Phone calls come later. Meeting in person is a huge step and will only be considered when the above criteria are met.

Looks for me are of some importance but not a deal breaker in any sense. I would hope that a potential sub would also have an idea on what she likes physically and I would understand and respect her ideas on this. For me to be quite honest; the sexiest thing on a woman is her brain. When that clicks with me, every part of her body is sexy and hot. She responds to touch. She responds to stimulus. Her submission comes from trust.