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I am the bear known as Ash within the Community and my Poly. I am a very Primal Dom with Daddy like tendencies. My play is very up close and personal, There is grabbing, biting, growling, stalking, marking, and nothing is a private space when I play.....If this bothers you I recommend we don't play. Music has a big influence in my play and aftercare (either my play partner or myself.) I get deeply involved with my scenes they are almost a emotional experience for me.
There is a certain little one that I am guiding and help through the lifestyle till she finds what she wants. She is a sweetheart, and god help you if you make an angel like her cry.
I have a Switch side that plays submissive and loves to crossdress for humiliation. This side is rarely seen but it is there and is part of me.
I don't know near enough to even remotely be considered someone to look up to, ask for knowledge, or wisdom, but I will always give advise or teach what I know when I asked. I love to be creative and to tinker, hence a few of my homemade toys in my bag, and a growing interest in rope.
What I am looking for outside of my poly family is My Primary, one to claim and to own. This is where i say I am selfish in what I want, but I have tried settling for similar and it always ends in bad results for both parties and to those that may have been emotionally hurt by me all I can ask is for your forgiveness and offer you my apology. I look for someone with a love of pain, and no not slight ass smacking is considered pain, some one to explore deeper and darker things with, someone to learn with. Prey to be stalked and hunted to be claimed and owned, a brat to tame, a little to nurture, a toy to use and abuse, a slave to carry out my commands without question, a submissive to learn with, a Partner to Love and Cherish. A Primary, a Rock to weather the Maelstrom that is my mind and emotion to help me.
I have went through my evolution and finally believe I have found what I am and have become truly what i feel comfortable as. For the Community and my Poly that has helped me there and the others Thank You. As for those that wish to know I have no actual Family. It has been lost to me, and I consider My Poly and My Community my Family now.
People say Eyes are the window to the souls, you can see happiness, joy, regret, and sorrow. But to me there is much more to tell about a person about the songs they say they choose to represent them.
Wither ~ Tech N9ne ft Corey Taylor
My Demons ~ Starset
Tired ~ Stonesour
Tears Don't Fall ~ Bullet for My Valentine
What If I Was Nothing ~ All That Remains
Two Weeks ~ All That Remains
Remember Everything ~ Five Finger Death Punch.
Take It Outside ~ Brantley Gilbert
Bottoms Up ~ Brantley Gilbert
Take Your Time ~ Sam Hunt
I Apologize ~ Five Finger Death Punch
I felt that within our Community we expose a side of ourselves that we hide from most, we may even hide these from some of our closest loved ones and friends, which is why my profile is no longer the happy go lucky kids profile. This Community is my family, and I have kept this all hidden for too long.
I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough
'Cause in your eyes, I just never added up
Just don't hate me For never standing by you or being by your side
Please don't blame me I only did what I thought was truly right
If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?
'Cause I remember everything.
If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?
'Cause I remember everything.
All these times I simply stepped aside
I watched but never really listened
As the whole world passed me by
All this time I watched from the outside
Never understood what was wrong or what was right
I apologize…
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
99% Degrader
98% Primal (Hunter)
97% Master/Mistress
97% Experimentalist
96% Owner
95% Rigger
95% Dominant
93% Sadist
92% Brat tamer
91% Degradee
86% Switch
83% Pet
83% Non-monogamist
81% Voyeur
77% Exhibitionist
75% Masochist
69% Daddy/Mommy
66% Rope bunny
62% Submissive
56% Slave
40% Brat
39% Primal (Prey)
33% Ageplayer
20% Girl/Boy
17% Vanilla
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