Well, isn't it just godamn, cock-biting funny the turns life takes you on, sometimes???  Like a joke, with no punchline?  You know you're supposed to laugh, but it just somehow eludes you? 

     We've only been back in WA a few weeks.  ( Was lovely to be home <3 )  The mornings, and evenings are cool, and the leaves are turning.  *Took the whole weekend off, and went hiking/backpacking on Orca's Island - had a great time.   Woke-up Monday morning to the email from hell...  Seems the company is transferring us back to fucking Houston - this time for a "long-term" project - 10/12mths.  We are both absolutely gobsmacked.  It's been days since the email, and I still can't quite get my head around it. 

     A year - an ENTIRE fucking year...  I hate the south - I really do - the heat, the humidity, the bugs, the flatness of the land...  I know it's not nice to say things like that, but if I'm really honest, that's exactly how I feel.  ( Sorry, my give-a-fuck is just too busted to care about offending anyone.  Besides, if you can't be honest in here, where can you be honest?)  A year - my G*d... A WHOLE fucking year...  I feel like screaming, but I'm too afraid I won't be able to stop.

     I love it here; I don't want to go.  Christ, I am tired of moving.  "Corporate turtles" - that's us.  We've moved so much, I think I've actually forgotten some of the places I've lived; that's sad.  There's an old Eagle's song - "Learn To Be Still" - I hum it every time I have to pack us for somewhere new.   

     I was in Barnes & Nobels this weekend.  Trying to force myself towards the exit, without much success, as usual.  ( I have painfully discovered : that place is some kind of an evil, time-sucking pocket dimension, where reality and self-discipline cease to exist for me. )  I was leafing through some book - can't remember which one.  I flipped the page, and read something that I can't seem to get out of my head...

"Love is staying, when every cell in the body is screaming 'RUN!'"

Fuck if it ain't so.

You know it's love, when the word "sacrifice" starts coming into play.

But, what is the definition of "sacrifice"?  Giving up something good, for something better?  May be.

Perspective.  It all comes down to perspective.  Sometimes, I think "maturity" is simply gaining the wisdom and humility to adjust your perspective.

I Love : Foreign films, Old book shops, Rainy days, New England in autumn, Hot tea, Jazz, Classic sports cars, Britcoms, Sleeping nude, Da Vinci's drawings, The smell of a man's pipe, My hands, Wooden boats, Anything Sci-fi, A well-worn cotton t-shirt, PBS & NPR, Antique/curiosity shops, A boi in a dress, A good sweaty workout, Flannel sheets & down duvets, Going barefoot, Dancing when there's no one around, UFC/MMA, Agent Provocateur, Dark chocolate covered ginger/orange peels... 

I Hate : Closed minds that seem to come with open mouths, Humidity & heat, Network telly, make-up - ( unless on a guy ), Twitter/Facebook/MySpace, "Conservatards", modern-day air travel, PC cock-ups, Texting, "Swag", People who talk constantly, Polyester clothes/sheets, "Ghetto nails", Brushing my damn unruly hair, People who are too busy being cool to be real... 

What I like to read : Rand ( Ayn ), Hugo, Twain, King, Rice, Poe, Morrison ( Toni ), Huxley, Green ( Simon ), Butcher... 

Tunes that move/groove me : Vivaldi's "Spring"/ Sarah Vaughan's "Black Coffee"/ Def Leppard's "Love Bites" /  Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"/ Louis Armstrong's "It's a Wonderful World" / Adam Lambert's "I'm Here For Your Entertainment" & "Mad World" / Sting's "Fragile" / Nina Simone's " In The Dark" - *If you have never heard this song - Google it - sex for your ears - LOL... 

 Fav Telly : Top Gear, ( I have a "thing" for the Stig - Christ it's bad & a bit embarrassing - LOL! ), Extreme Engineering, Monty Python,  James May's MAN LAB, Robot Wars, Red Dwarf, Dr. Who, Being Human, Benny Hill, Wire In The Blood, Torchwood, Primeval...

The "black buzzard of depression"...  ( You know, the vile counterpart to the oft touted "bluebird of happiness"? )

     The bastard has landed on my head, and thus so far, has steadfastly refused to move.  Woke up Sunday feeling a bit odd, and courting a purple funk.  It has steadily worsened, for seemingly no apparent reason.  ( No, I am not usually the depressed/emo type. )  If I do feel out of sorts, I usually just increase my cardio, or have a bit more coffee, or go fishing - LOL - if I can.  Nothing seems to be helping.  I think, maybe, I am just very homesick.  Three more weeks here - UGHhhhh   ;-< 

Tomorrow is my birthday.  As you get older, you'll find birthdays will become a time of reflection. You look at where you've been, where you are, and where you want to be.  I'm proud of where I am, yet somehow think I should be further.  ( May be been smarter, made better choices? )  I wonder is it like this for everyone?  Do we all wonder about that "ship that never sailed"??? 

Sometimes I fantasize about a "rewind button" for my life.  A friend told me to rent a movie called "The Butterfly Effect".  Maybe I will, once we get home.

"If only"...  The two most haunting words in the English language.

BTW : Thanks to all who said "Hi" from the great state of Washington<3  ( It eases the homesickness a bit. )  *Could wrestle Brock Lesnar to the ground this morning for a decent cup of joe.  ( Texans do many things well; coffee isn't one of them - LOL! )

To all the locals who said "Hi", and gave advice - THANK YOU <3  * It's not that I don't like Texas, I'm just homesick, and can't deal with the damn heat. ( It was over 100* almost every day last week. )  We went out and toured the Exxon drilling rig, down in Galveston over the weekend.  ( Cool place to visit for us techies! )  Was bent over examining a hyperbaric chamber, came up too quickly, and saw "colored stars" - just like Wile E Coyote used to do, when his newest Acme device had gotten the better of him, yet again - LOL!

     Speaking of "stars", ok, not quite, but... For all the fellow nerds out there...   The Perseids are tonight, guys!  Happy viewing!

Got M' fuckin grump on this mornin'...

Came in here and checked mail, only to find 19 "requests" from "slaves".   * Insert aggravated sigh *  I know this is likely to be a hot button issue, and I'm sure I'll get hate mail.  ( Number of fucks I give? ZERO ) 

     Please, puh-leeze, don't contact me with this kind of stuff.  Yes, I know it's a "lifestyle", and I do respect your right to engage in it, but it sure as hell isn't my thing.   Honestly, it's a HUGE turn-off for me.  ( My stick doesn't float that way. ) Not interested in this kind of stuff, and never will be.  Personally, I find anything to do with the notion of slavery, in any form, absolutely repugnant. 

     Sub and domme/dom interaction is an entirely different thing to me.  True subordination is a gift you give someone that has earned your trust.  It's an energy/power exchange, ( RPG of sorts ), between two people.  That's all a good domme/ dom really is - an "energy handler".  Kind a like a grounding plug?  We are what we are, and need something to plug into, to "complete the circuit", sort of.  If that makes sense?  Besides, I was 100% straight-up when I said I wasn't looking for a lover.  ( Got that already. )  I just come in here to hang, be around my own kind, and not feel like such a freak.  *Am I the only one, who wishes desperately that they were not like they are?  I wonder sometimes.  Life would sure as hell be a lot simpler.  Then again, I'd rather be called "weird as shit", than boring as hell - LOL!  As Popeye once said : "I am what I am."   Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light, eh?

And on another subject...  WTF is up with all this "pay to play" shit on here???  It's like "Rent-a-Piece" around here?!?  ( Hard to tell who is genuine, and who isn't! )  This place is like flypaper for freaks.  ( I mean that in a good way. )   (( Hello, fellow freak! ))  Let's keep it like that.  Anyone ever thought of starting a motion/movement with the site hosts to clean-up the joint for the real freaks?  IOW : kickout all the "pros", or at least sequester them to their own section?  I mean does this shit bug anyone else? 

For comic fans only, please...  ( If they're even any about )   

Although I am much more Vertigo, than Marvel, or DC, I do keep up with some Marvel characters... 

     Went to see "Wolverine"...  Good but... Wondering if it ever bugs the shit out of other comic fans, when film makers don't stay true to form?  Don't get me wrong - I LUV Hugh Jackman.  *Saw him in Les Mis, and he was AWESOME!  ( Dude has a set of pipes! )  BUT... 

       He's  "Wolverine 2013"; ok, I get that.  But, somehow, just not the Wolvie of my childhood, ( AKA : that short, furry, piss-the-fuck-off, lil' guy we all know and love. )  Mr. J can't help being tall, but why make the guy shave???  Wolvie was furry, and damn proud of it.  Also, why didn't they get him to affect a Canadian accent?  Logan was a Canuck.  I mean, C'mone, Bub... 

  And, the Silver Samurai...  Don't even get me started.  

*Liked Liev Schreiber's rendition of Victor Creed in earlier X-men movies, though.

Thoughts from other comic fans???

     Stuck in Nassau Bay, TX., ( on assignment with the hubby ).  Interesting enough place, though - LOADS to do - just hotter than hell.  ( Supposed to be 102* today. )  No mountains, either - flat as a nine year old girl's chest.  I hurry to the car - feels like someone has a blowtorch to my skin - HORRIBLE!  Miss the cool, green, fern-laced forests of WA state.  Tried to workout outside this morning.  Came back in and drank a ton of water - promptly threw it all back up.  ( I hate getting a visit from "King Ralph". )  Better try and get somewhat "used" to it, I guess - got six more weeks of this shit  >;-[

PS : 8/07   The hubby wants to go to Moody Gardens.  Checked it out online...  Looks good, but the admission is pretty steep.  *To locals : Is it worth it? Can it be seen in one day, or is the two day pass better?  Thoughts?  Tnx <3