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Hello.
Before you all start breaking out the boxing gloves and Cosco industrial sized barrels of lube, I should probably point out that my screen name is not exactly accurate.
Obviously when you join a new site you want to take the tour and get the vibe of the place. Blinkers were required to avoid glancing at the side bars filled with images plucked straight from my nightmares, wrapped in rubber and uploaded in 'medical journal' detail.
Imagine you are visiting a strange new house and you find that the welcome mat is simply the image of a 50 year old man in chaps mashing his junk flat with a croquet mallet....It is probably a good bet that entering the place will result in a happy combination of 'lotion on the skin' and 'getting the hose again'.
Regardless of how terrible I might lokk on a milk carton, I bravely ventured in.
A screen name is your chance to shine. The very first thing other users will see when scanning the profiles in the hope of finding someone suitable to rub their genitals in and or around.
Choosing a screen name is a big decision.....it should grab the attention, speak honestly from your heart and instantly sum up your character in as many letters as you can manage before your self administered enema explodes.
Just like gremlins, screen names have rules:
- GET TO THE POINT: Your average kinky web user has enough on their plate dealing with their cage full of mummified midgets and the transvestite tied to the ceilling without having to waste the precious moments of air being pumped into their all over rubber bubble suit, trying to figure out what you like and dont like....so sum it all up right away eg:"BEATMYBALLS" or "PUTROLLEDUPMAGAZINESINMYASS"
- SPELLING NORMAL WORDS IN A CRAZY, HIP OR FUNKY MANNER IS A GOLDEN TICKET TO HAVING A HOT CHICK TAKE A DUMP IN YOUR MOUTH. The English language should be your bitch. why conform to the established rules of literacy when you can spell 'GIRL' as 'GURL' or throw a Z at the end of something to make it scientifically 'sexy as fuckz'.
- ORIGINALITY IS FOR WEIRDOS.. if 'LATEXPRINCESS' is your name of choice and you discover that 2563 other people were as individually inclined as yourself, don't be afraid to call yourself 'LATEXPRINCESS2564' and be the 2564rth most exciting member of the site.
So with all this in mind I promptly was kicked in the head by a runaway bull* and went for "ILOVEFISTING5001
(*My sad true life story of life in a gay rodeo is available in paperback and spoken work cassettes for those of you tied to chairs)
So. Here I am.
Fred Fletch.
33
Hello
Don't let me down people......give me your best shot.
Please note. I DO NOT like fisting.
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I guess it would make sense to tell you all a bit about myself.
33 living in Edinburgh- Working as a Social Work Nurse in Edinburgh (I generally feel that you should never try to sum yourself up by including mention of your job- a job doesn't give any sort of terrifying insight into your soul unless you happen to be a Cowboy, Ghostbuster or Astronaut.)
I don't like to pigeon-hole myself (But do enjoy giggling like a schoolgirl at the term 'pigeon-hole') and can't really tell you that I have a specific 'kink'.
I am a relaxed and sorted guy who goes with the flow. You name it, I have done it, and as long as it is something you actually are really into, then I am into it too.
Thats kind of a wishy washy way of saying that it is all about pleasure....
I am no fantasist, Their aint a hole, toy or action I haven't experienced and live in constant hope that future genetic mutations will allow women to evolve a new hole somewhere interesting.
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| Age: 24 |
| White Plains,
New York |
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