Collarspace.com

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HumidorHunk

HumidorHunk - photo 1
HumidorHunk - photo 2
HumidorHunk - photo 3
HumidorHunk - photo 4
HumidorHunk - photo 5
HumidorHunk - photo 6
HumidorHunk - photo 7

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Friends:
grecoitalianoleathertoyStangKev97MasterWattsusmarineslave
BrakenGymLuxcigarslavehh

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Sorry, men. I am no longer actively looking for anything.Happilymarried since May 2014. ) However, the hubby and I would entertain applications for slaves that would be interested in serving us both. Speak up, though.Otherwise, primarily just keeping this profile here anymore for friends to keep in contact.Oh, and I kept the journal entries posted, as well, since people love to comment about them. LOL.

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12/16/2012 11:56:20 AM

Eight.

That's the number of men I have chatted within the past week, that, when I go to chat them again, have found they have deleted their profiles.

What the fuck is that all about?

[Imitation of Mr. Rogers' voice:]  Can you spell GAMEPLAYER? I knew you could!  :)


12/3/2012 8:46:22 PM

Today's episode of CollarMe was brought to you by the letter "L" and the number "ZERO".

Where we remind you that if you have ZERO pictures and ZERO text in your profile, you are either Lazy or are a Loser.


Yes, sometimes I revert to quoting from Sesame Street and the Children's Television Workshop, because apparently, that adequately reflects the mentality of most of the idiots that contact Me.


7/8/2012 4:33:54 PM

Wow, guys. Never thought I'd say this, but in the last ten days, My most entertaining conversation on this site, was with a woman!

Not to take away from her intelligence, and her own cute provocative nature, but why is it that only a female has the balls (excuse the anatomical displacement) to actually chat Me? What the hell is wrong with all you humans with penises swagging between your legs? *

If you have something meaningful to say or ask... do it! It's just chat and email, for Christ's sake! It's not like I can reach through the screen and slap your face (though I admit, some of you deserve it). If you aren't online to broaden your horizons and maybe even (GOD FORBID!!!) meet someone, then simply turn off your computer and play in the freeway. You'll have better impact there.

* Half-credit to you slugs that write Me with just stupid one-or-two word clumsy introductions. It's not appreciated, but at least you aren't bashful.


7/4/2012 12:24:12 AM

I guess some boys *do* have guts and intregity, after all.

After us having been very "into" one another (at least via chat and email), one prospect had decided that there was one style that he just could not deal with or wrap his head around. (That's fine. I get it. And I don't begrudge him his opinions or desires. I'm no panacaea, nor am I 100% what everyone would like, either. We all know that one-size-does-NOT-fit-all. I am not that shallow a Man.)

The point is, he had the balls to tell Me this and suggest We not continue. I applaud that, inasmuch as a lesser man would simply have stopped corresponding and blown Me off.

Why are men such fucking pricks some times? Many could take a lesson from this boy.

What? Afraid to write Me and hurt My feelings? Oh, please, bitch... until you're at My doorstep or have My Cock buried down your throat, you are merely words on a screen to Me. Don't over-inflate your own value. Be a man and step up. A little common decency wouldn't do you any fucking harm.

And if, by some chance, this one particular prospect happens to read this, I really do wish you the best of luck in finding exactly what it is you seek.


6/17/2012 1:49:37 PM

Ok, time for a change in strategy.

It seems to Me that when someone puts "Please, serious only" that it only serves as a magnet to the fucktardish freaks that only like to play games online... as if "serious only" is some sort of challenge for them to see just how far they can go with someone who would otherwise have no interest in them.

So from now on, I think I'll change My headline to read "Only flakes and phoneys need apply". That way, the jackasses won't bother Me, as they have no challenge, and would get bored with Me quickly. But perhaps the *serious* ones might contact Me, with the objective of changing My mind into considering some who actually *is* serious.

Then again, what fun is that? After all, isn't the internet just for fantasizing? I sometimes wonder.


5/19/2012 7:11:03 PM

Here's another priceless gem... a prospect approached Me and seemed to be proud of the fact that he was "no limits".

So, I asked him if it was then OK to shoot him in the foot with My shotgun.

He called Me a freak and several other "not-in-front-of-the-children" choice adjectives.

Hmmm... guess he DID have at least one limit after all.

My point: Be careful that your body can cash the checks your mouth writes. Somebody might assume you are serious.


5/18/2012 7:44:15 PM

OK, here we go again. Another in a seemingly never-ending list of things that continue to piss Me off.

It happens when someone opens up with "So what are you looking for?" or "What are you into?"

Hello?!?! McFly?!?!

What the fuck! Do you think there are 4,826 characters in My profile text just for the fucking hell of it? Do you think I like to just type for no reason? OK, yeah, I just made up that number, but what the hell... My profile is detailed.

Details... you know what those are? Those are the dozens of little trivial points of interest that make someone become "more explained" to you. It's the list of things that someone takes the time to consider to put pen to paper (as it were) so that you can have a better idea of who they are and what they seek. It's a composition, in miniature, of a life and a lifestyle defined. What... getting too Freudian for you? Falling asleep there, Butch?

If you can come away from reading My profile and not even gleen the slightest inkling of what I am looking for, go turn on Sesame Street and play a round of "One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others" with Bert and Ernie... and know that YOU are the thing that is not like anything else. Because you're a stupid fucking moron! You don't need to go "Back To The Future"... you need to go back to grade school, fucktard.

* My apologies to PBS and The Children's Television Workshop. Please note: No animals were harmed during the composition of this rant. And yes, as a matter of fact, Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts do rule.


3/6/2012 6:44:09 PM

I don't care how much smoke you try to blow up My ass... if you don't have a visible face pic in your profile, I'm never going to consider you to be real.

Afraid someone might see you? What the fuck! Think about it... if they're *here* looking around, it seems to Me that that person should be the LAST thing you should have to worry about. (Unless your momma goes around trolling gay websites, in which case you have a bigger problem than you could ever imagine! LOL.)


2/13/2012 6:37:40 PM

What are we in... third grade? Guys, learn to use ROTATE PICTURE before you fucking post one! If I have to turn My head 90 degrees to see your picture, any consideration I might have for you goes 180 degrees out the door!

Oh, I'm sorry... does that sound too severe and radical? Not really. After all, if you're too stupid to rotate a picture, what ELSE are you too stupid to know?

Do I set the bar too high? Well, maybe. But you could always just get taller shoes.

Ignorance... it ain't pretty.


2/11/2012 3:15:18 PM

OK, just figured out something *else* that really pisses Me off. After you chat up a prospect that "can't wait to relocate and begin serving", and it comes down to setting up an acquistion date... THAT'S when they come up with a million questions.

What the hell? Isn't that the fucking purpose of chatting each other in the first damned place? To get ALL of the questions and negotiations out of way so that an informed decision can be made? Don't fucking say that you're ready to move forward until and unless you actually fucking ARE ready.

Personally, I give everyone AMPLE opportunity to ask whatever they choose to. So don't tell Me that you're wanting to proceed and then come up with all these *new* questions to ask. Get them out of the way first.

I won't tolerate this kind of stupidshit behavior anymore. If I ask you if you have anything more to ask and you say no, that's it: NO. That means to Me that you are satisfied with what you know, and can make an informed decision.  If you start playing Twenty Questions thereafter, I'll just block you. I haven't got time for amateurs that don't have the wherewithall to have their shit together and know how to handle their affairs. Grow the fuck up, guys. Know what you want. Inquire. Be informed.


1/24/2012 6:36:14 PM

I'd like to say I'm surprised by this, but considering that this is the internet, maybe not so much... I'm amazed at how you can send someone a compliment or an encouraging note, and they don't have enough common human courtesy or decency to take ten seconds and respond after reading it. Say thanks, say no thanks, say go fuck yourself, say anything. Just don't say nothing. If I wanted to be treated rudely like that, I'd just telephone My mother.

That may seem a little hypocritical of Me, given My previous post. But when *I* dont respond, it's because you've probably made a suggestion or proposition that doesn't even jive with My interests in the least (which only proves you didn't read My profile), or you emailed Me with some fucktard simpleton shit like "S'up?" or "Hi, how are you?"

And if I *do* reply to you, and it's not what you want to hear, well, tough shit. Be a man, suck it up, and move on. Like I said, just be grateful I didn't waste any more of your time.


1/22/2012 6:39:22 PM

Heads up... If you see in your "sent" folder that I've read an email message you've sent Me, and I haven't responded within an hour or so, face it... it is what it is, and I don't intend to reply. Just move on and be grateful I didn't waste any of *your* time. Spare Me the attitude.


11/17/2011 6:44:19 PM

Lately, I've been receiving a lot of two- and three-word short emails, such as "What's up?" or "How are you?", as an attempt to get My attention. Let's face it... you don't really care the answer to either of those questions... you just want to be noticed and don't have a clue what to REALLY say.

I am not here to chat, or to exchange an excessive amount of banterous emails. I am looking to collar property. And the BEST way to get My attention, is to email Me with a full description of what you seek, who you are, and why you think We would mesh well.

So, if your initial email to Me is just one or two sentences, or is just a weasly benign question, chances are extremely good that you will not receive a reply.


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Humili8me
 
 Age: 38
  Florida