I figured out my needs (listed in profile text) as the answer to a contradiction I have been dealing with since my very first dating experience where sex was a possibility. I was raised to treat women as "the fairer sex." I believe in being a gentleman and in chivalry and respecting a woman's modesty. I was faced with this dilemma of trying to honor those things and really, really wanting to just fuck. That sounds crass now and it felt crass then. How can I care about her and respect her and still actively scheme to get her into bed without much thought beyond that? I'm not shy. I'm capable of being aggressive and very selfish. What was holding me back? Over time, I realized that my need was deeper than the conventional. I wanted to dominate. I wanted access to her most fenced off places, both physical and emotional. I wanted her laid bare not just for pleasure but so the dance and the mindgames that the genders issist on engaging in could be put aside. Only then can you really connect and really pleasure each other.
I know there are plenty of women out there who, on the flip side, are the same way. Unfortunately, they have their share of problems - how to be selfish and agressive and by vanilla standards "kinky" and remain "a lady". It's made more complicated by the need for caution as there are too many guys out there who tossed the chivalry handbook completely long ago.
I came to CM, FL and other sites because here the contradiction is embraced. True gentlemen who freely admit to wanting to tightly bind woman and spank her to a bright red. Women who relish both can say so without apology. Gotta love the internet. |