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Hello again out there in CollarSpace land. I have been away a lot I know and part of it has been me getting my act and business together and just hanging back awhile.
So here I am Man less and not many friends around that I can just go over to and hang out with anymore. Less if you count those who know or want to know about sex or kink. Then some that I can only talk to over the phone because of long distance and they have their own life too or my best friend is undergoing chemo and I can’t even talk her about normal vanilla stuff in person because I could get her sick.
So if I start a dialog with you beware! I’m chatty like crazy. I talk too much! I have two ASD sons but they really don’t talk with me they talk at me. Once in a while we have a nice back and forth banter maybe three times per week. Otherwise, like now what’s for dinner? If I get a thank you your welcome or excuse me I may actually faint! (Now I have taught them manners again and again!)
I also have a back ground in Criminal Justice. Not an officer! But I have this thing about Who What Where When How and Why going on. Trust me on any occasion during a conversation those are going to pop up.
If you have read any of my journal entries you will also read I am a Klutz. More like Queen of all the Klutzes in the World, I am sorry to report I have not changed at all. Fingers in Garage Doors, 2 fingers one big Garage Hinged Door. I had to bend over to pull up the door myself to release my fingers. Fell to the Ground screaming a litany of swear words and crying for I don’t know how long until a neighbor on a walk asked if he could help. I said I could do it and went inside for ice bag. Having done this before (I know stupid right?) I knew that the tips of both fingers were crushed and the bones would meld together on their own so I did not go to ER, I iced and took drugs!
I also fell in my office within 2 weeks of that and then I walked like a Duck (Quack, my Dad was an Oregon Duck, sometimes I wonder) tripped over a box and fell again. Lots of bruises, a rip in my arm and wishing I was more pigeon toed! Most of all those injuries are healed. Yes, parents and sons ask for less if possible. Living in a home that you own is always a crap shoot of some kind, which means something will break. Guess what? The washer machine was left on while I went to pick up my son from college, on fill. We got home it filled alright half the house! Sears instead of giving me a new washer gave me all new parts to fix the one I had. Then they let me clean it. Let’s just say I’m not done with them yet.
So now that I am done with the Holidays that seem to make me reflect on too much of my losses. Valentine’s Day included, crap I couldn’t even watch Charlie Brown Valentine’s Day special. Forget watching Hallmark channel. Bring back my Mysteries more please.
I am now going to go out! I left my sons for 24 hours and they did not kill themselves or burn down the house. That’s a good thing! Now I just need to get out of the (dirty word) house. I’m going too! |
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Where in the hell did this year go to? The last time I wrote it was early in the year and now look at it: it fell into Fall! Noting this and wondering what has changed? I have done some changing! What is a Monastery, I ask myself? Is this house been changed into one? Not the last time I checked, however, the flies on the walls are pretty bored! I am hoping to change that in a few weeks time but anyone living in the North Bay might hear it!
Some other things have changed, not necessarily for the better but you give and you take. My sons are both not in school. One was pretty mad that the school lost his tests and gave him incomplete which made it hard for him to get into classes and his counselor left without letting him know who was going to replace him. Not so bad for a regular kid but when you throw Autism and Learning Disabilities into the mix shit happens.
The youngest one turned 18 and decided to quit school. He is going to take classes from home next semester.
Now for myself, I am working on my website selling my stuff which is doing okay for now. The next thing I did for myself is I found a chiropractor that has helped to stop my migraines that I was getting every single day and the rest of me is getting quite a cracking! He he. I am the better for it. Now if I just stop being such a klutz queen I could be even better.
So I hope to report back in a few weeks time to let those of you who read my journal and who also know me if I made a good impression or not, and what else is happening before the end of 2013! Everyone cross their fingers I need all the help I can get!
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I am so guilty of not writing here.
Why? I was disenchanted for a while with the way things were going at home. The business life was going better the social life went mostly down the toilet.
I focused on The Business, My Home, My Kids. I lost touch with Me.
2013 I am going to go back to finding ME! The one in the photos. The one who loves life, fun and all the things that goes with it. I am not making idle New Year’s Resolutions because they always fail. What do I plan to do? I plan to dance in the kitchen while making breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also while cleaning the Kitchen OMG ick! Do not look too closely at the stuff that collects under the rubber from the sink stopper. After cleaning it wash hands twice! Also try to remember to do it every week or it might just attack back!
I am also going to find the new (or now not so new) Citadel. I miss the people and the crowds I met there. I hope some will remember me! I miss the Marin and Sonoma Folks as well and hope to meet up with them soon.
I miss all the contacts here that have followed me and that I have talked with for the last 7 years. My Kids are almost both over 18 and that means more freedom for them and for me. Look out world here I come!
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Happy New Year to you all who read this in passing or look here to get their jollies. It is time to say Howdy Hi to the year 2012. If we go down we go down together. LOL. I think I like that thought. Going down going down down.... led zep mmm my way of going ...
OK so I have been going down. He he and not in a fun way. The Klutz bug has hit me again. I swear I cannot keep from finding my feet in the wrong place. At the SF Citadel I landed on a landing of all places the first walk down the stairs. I did not need to go to the dungeon for pain I gave it to myself. What the heck fun was that?
So then I am feeling lots better in a month and a tooth decides to go wonky. it must have been going for a while because when i saw the dentist, it was already infected. Tried to save it but had to be pulled. Still did not fix the infection until the third antibiotic. When I do things I do them right up.
Ok now it is December and my cat decides to leave me a hairball present where i did not see it. Cough Cough. Mommy goes flying into her bathroom. Thankfully the floor had nothing to hit harder than it. I got up, cleaned up the cat mess and myself. No the cat did not hit any walls. Questioned my brother! Oh this one made me miss the Marin Munch.
The last and final Klutz Queen move was a week before Christmas. I was making dinner and multi-tasking when I decided to get plates out of the dishwasher from the bottom rack. I needed ingredients from the refrigerator and went around it. I left it open to unload as I was cooking. I turned, looked out instead of down, and fell onto the open dishwasher. Thankfully, knives are always pointed down. I got FORKED instead! I had to roll off of it and my kids did first aid. No ER. Thank you very much. LOL. I hear you all laughing .... so am I, now.
So for my only New Years Resolution I am going to work on watching where I am going. No tripping and no walking like a duck so my feet wont catch on things to trip on
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It is a new month holly hanna it is almost the end of August! Which means it is September. I would like to say once again, "Thank you to those who give us the rights to be on Collarme or any other site. Those of you who fight for freedom or are in service in Fire Departments or Police Departments and try to keep us safe at home."
Both my sons are home now. Oldest is in college taking as many courses as he can handle and has passed his first hurdle to getting his license the online Drivers Ed course.
My youngest is back home and is in a special education school that handles children with Autism. So far so good. Back at home he is less problematic and less wanting to hit when he has rage issues. Although, he did hit the wall in the bathroom the first week back. He gets to fix it now. Tape, mud and paint. Ah how to grow up.
I had a wonderful time at a friends house a few weeks ago. I had a new experience too! Who knew I would like an anal hook? Hehe! Oh and I got to get fucked too! All Yummy! Kudos to my friend! And as always I want more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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The newest pictures are from a wonderful photo shoot that was done by GreenBelt www.bluedragonphoto.com
. He is a really good photographer and very nice to work with.
More to come. |
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I cannot believe I have not written here for so long again. Smack smack me or rather spank spank oh I like it more more please!
So what has kept me from writing here? Well, I have been writing on a blog. Go figure me a real honest to goodness blog. Buxom9412 at Wordpress dot com. I write stuff. Some erotica, some poetry, commentary and some auto-biography. I also do some rants and raves in there too! So those of you into reading stuff and not just perving have a look and see what makes me Me.
Ok so what have i been doing.. I had a very nice relationship with a sensual dom. He and I would go to parties and munches and see each other once in a while. That relationship has changed to being friends which is still great. I still hope to play once in a while some day. Who knows, hehe.
I have also had a relationship with a gentleman who is more vanilla than kinky. That is so on and off a light switch would fall a sleep. Another thing I wanted from him was to go to a class with me so he would not hurt me with his ways of doing things which I knew should not be happening and he was either too busy or not interested in going. So since I felt he was not safe I have not been with him again.
This left me very lonely and stuck in a rut. Thank god for vibes and internet! So after the new year I decided to go out and get a life!
I met some very nice people on my way. Many from munches and then some from being more social here on Collarme and . I also went to a few parties in Marin and in San Francisco at The Citadel. I met wonderful people at both. Most of these I went by myself. (I learned to do this after college. I wanted to go somewhere and did not wait for my friends to hem and haw about going with me or not) I had a wonderful time at Tryst and watched great things going on in the dungeon. I visited Kinkmanor and learned alot from watching and asking questions there.
I have met a few doms that I would love to play with more. They know who they are because I tell them. I have some I wish would play with me. I tell them too!
So in the mean time and the more boring time I have no regrets and I have made lots of progress on my growing and learning in BDSM.
I have also learned a lot about myself and my family during this time. My youngest son will be coming back home very soon. He has been away almost a year and has learned many new ways of dealing with Autism and anger. My oldest son is graduating high school. He will be learning how to drive and will try to get a summer job. He also has Autism and will be taking the math and english placement tests for community college. As a mother I have been learning how to transition these kids and myself to their adulthood. |
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I have been remiss of writing here the last couple of months. For those of you who follow my writing I apoligize for the delay.
I have been busy with lots of things. Fun things and not so fun things. Let's start with the fun stuff. Always works for me! Is it good for you too?
I have been with friends all summer playing and having fun. I have had fun with some friends from along time ago. Meeting them at the airport hilton, wrong way Hottie learned a new backdoor way to the other side of the freeway that night. Wow, they have changed that side since the last time I was there. Go figure. That was the only backdoor I got that night, damn.
The meeting was a fun time and seeing my friend and his new wife was great. However, it was not share and share a like. Bummer  I was not allowed the pleasure of his pleasure stick! So lets see I drove all this way for lack of play? OMG, ok I had an ok time and she got a lot of pleasure and I learned more about fliming. Not even a vibe would work on me. That is sooooooooooooo wrong. Yes, folks sex is truely in the mind. Since mine was bummed I guess nothing would work .... well until I got home. Then that little vibe next to the bed was a life saver. Thank you Adam and Eve, bullet vibe 101.
Next, I would like to say thanks to Kaos for the fun I have been having. The parties are great and I have had a lot of fun. Blindfolded on the table infront of all to see was wonderful. I loved being shown off. The toys that you played with me were so nice and so easy to get out of a kitchen or bath or a dollar store. Wow never knew spaghetti forks, pom poms, feathers and chains could make me spill like when a spigot got pulled! Holy cum!
The parties continued through out the summer and now into fall. Thanks to a great host at parties and for the demos of rope tying and one on flogging. I also had a great time playing and talking with all the guests.
I also went to an Erotic writing conference in SF. It has given me more confidence to write not only here but on Wordpress.com. I hope to write more Erotica and poetry and humor on my life and just ramble and rant.
The bad stuff is, my shoulder is not getting any better and I cannot get tied up. Bummer  my arm will not go in the back of me anymore I can however be tied nicely to a post with both hands.
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 I got to go to see Aerosmith last night, Wow what fun that was! Free tickets I won from the radio station
Then I had a great time with friends tonight non kinky can be fun too! |
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Thank you all for the support given to me in these past few weeks. I would like to say that my son has begun to enjoy his new home and has gotten his own fishing pole and got to go skating and other things now in and around the area.
The life at home has changed and has been a lot quieter with no fighting no police but also no laughing of his or hearing his footfalls which were loud but missed. My other son is now learning the responsibility of being a young adult without fear of his brother attacking him over things. He is helping me paint the fence and reclaim the backyard from four years of credible care. |
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As things are going crazy here for me I wanted to tell those that watch for me on CM that I am going on a journey into new territory. Not for BDSM or sex but for learning about myself and my children.
I have to fly to move my son to a residential placement it is for his own health and my son's at home and for me.
I am sad and I am happy and I know I am doing the right thing. If you don't see me on here for a while it is because I am flying and then most likely lying in a fetal position crying for a few days.
love to all
Hottie |
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The Klutz is back! Yep I did it again did a header on the sidewalk. I looked so good flying over that cement that a driver actually stopped her car to help me and a guy from down the block helped me get back up. My son and I were walking to get fit before his dentist appointment and the uneven pavement from tree roots got me. I went flying forward more like a belly flop than just hands and knees. That must have been why the driving nice lady saw me I was air bound. LOL.
I am mostly ok, the shoulder injury said "thank You" and my pinky finger is happy that I don't use it much (Not like when you catch a football with your middle flip off finger.. hard to use it taped to the ring finger... Hey buddy f... you and they just laugh cause it is taped!) If any one is worried about my form for unusal tasks or for that matter usual ones It works... oh and there is of course my left hand.
I get to go out dancing on Saturday night and have a great 7 course dinner I can't wait. I hope my knee likes me.
All for now folks Happy Spring Time! |
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Wow, what a night. Thank you JJ and PT and all the friends from munches and new friends that I hope I made at Edges tonight. I cannot tell a lie. Orgasms a plenty. Not too much pain lots of sensual sexy fun. More more more PT thank you thank you. JJ when you throw a party at home or away it is a blast. It was so nice to see sweety and her master as well and taking pictures was the cats meow! purrrrrrrrrrrrr..... |
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Happy New Years to All of You who stop by and read my journal!
Only say a resolution for the one day not the whole year.
I am just thinking that I would like these things ........ it might happen.
Ok those of you who know me stop shaking those necks!
I say that with some conviction. I want this year to be a great one. A non-klutz one and with any luck a lot of (rhymes with luck) oh you know ... fuck..ings.  and no it does not have to be in the dark. LOL.
See again it is the pickiness of the beast I am ... why can't things be like the 70's when I could just dance and find a man?  I know I won't see any pink elephants tonight. I am off to see Lewis Black and then come home before crazy drivers abound and drink champagne by myself.  
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Merry Merry Happy Happy Holidays to you all! Whatever you celebrate take a load off and have a great time.
 (Ok i know its not eight but it was the closest I could find here, not that i am very correct on anything any way but I hope you get the drift!)   
Yeah its that time again when lights are up on my house (mmm well they will be) and the tree is at least down from the loft... I never put it back up from last year. Not lazy just klutzy not wanting to chance another injury. So hey, it is within walking distance to the living room. So are the blings and things that go with it. Maybe when the holidays are over this time they will get put away? One may never know. LOL.
The Bathroom remodel is done. I am pleased with the outcome and so are the kids and the cats. Its an all purpose all mammal bathroom. I am not sure if the dog has partaken of the toilet as yet ...if she has god I hope someone flushed? Oh don't groan ... don't tell me you have never seen kids, adults or dogs do worse? or the same?
Sex now what in the world is that? I can say with some clarity that I remember it and finally got some! now all i need is to keep up the momentum lol. Like that is going to happen? I can always hope !!! Santa are you listening? Well, at least you know what I want for Christmas. I was a good gurl... damn too much so. LOL Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night, day or whenever you get to read this
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Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Everyone passing thru my Journal tread lightly my stomach might just pop!
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 Here I am again! Alive and thankfully well. Oh what a beautiful and fun time I had last weekend. The duckies have it! and i made it over to the other side of the pool first. What fun you can have with little rubber duckies and they don't even have to have vibes (hehe).
I loved seeing all of the group and meeting new people was much fun as well. The food was great and I did not flame up my cover up while cooking my dinner (talk about fire play had that happened. OMG!)
I loved the fire play with R and K and it felt sooooooooo good. I had my first experience in cupping and that was relaxing I want more! Can I say I am hooked on fire.  So now I can add that to my beginners file. Oh what fun I had.
And hey I got home and the house was still standing ... the kids were good. Life is good Yippee! |
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I have been very quiet again here on my journal. I wish I could say it was due to lots of play time. It was not. I am in that oreo generation where I have parents that are 80 and kids in their teens. I have been busy this time with my mom. Thankfully her problem was not life threatening .. can be fixed with diet.
Then I got my first scare. It was time for the squishing of the boobs. Not by any dom but the mamogram machine..(does anyone think the the designer of that machine may have been in bdsm and a dom?)
I got a call back for a spot. Ok, first day scared completely since Breast Cancer runs in my family. Did not sleep much at all that night. My dad in his wisdom the next morning asked, "How are you? Ok I guess. Well just think about it you don't use it much any more anyway!" I laughed. I was all, "dad believe me, I am trying to get them used!" Now it was his turn to laugh as I went inside.
So finally last Thursday I had the second mamo and the ultra-sound. It turned out to be a cyst. They are not worried and said come back in six months we will check it again.
My outlook was very happy and I went and bought myself silver roses to make me happy ... my favorite.
So now that mid August to mid September has run its course I hope to have a more quiet peacefull healthy end to 2009 for myself and my family.
Also a lot more time to play!!!! |
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Oh dear me, what the little birds sing outside my window in the morning (that is as long as the crows are not being fed behind my house by the neighbors, ugh!) Ok, back to the oh dear me! That is what I said as I got up this morning. Hehe, or rather as I tried to get up. OMG! I had a smile on my butt going the horizontal way. Hey I am use to the vertical one, I have it every day but wow a horizontal one well that was news to me. Not only did it look pretty, different shades of red purple and blue but mind you it reminded me of all that went into it in getting those colors as I sat down or got up or just wiggled.
Now I saw the D twins last night before I went to bed and they were a pretty shade of colors already. Wednesday they showed up like beacons on a lighthouse turning saying look at me, look at me! The great thing was they did not hurt. Thankfully I guess to the amount of fat versus muscle ratio in my little darling twins.
Now thank you to my special friend who spanked me 52 times plus some. LOL. I had a wonderful time. Thank you for my horizontal smile that put a smile on my face this whole week. I also say thank you for the trust. |
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Yesterday was my birthday! It was a fun day for the most part. I was texted by a great friend about going to the Marin Munch which I did go to but drove this time alone.
I was met in the room by JJ and wow was it ever a hot night. AC was on in the building but to have gotten our room cool would have frozen a witch's tit in the main room! Hehe.
Thank you for all the hugs and well wishes. Thank you for the spanks, just makes my blood boil hotter! Damn I need a man and a hotel room. Either that or send the kids to camp, ha that would be the day.
Thank you for the cards and the gift and cupcakes (which I licked and sucked down just the icing) forget giving me cake just give me the icing!
Believe it or not, when I got home I once again had a home to go into. Yes, I love it when they are good. Another good thing I did not hurt myself all day. The present I gave myself was learning how to use the weedwacker and how to fix the line when it broke... six (&&^%%^ times! I am really good at it now>>>Plus the lawn got mowed and watered. Since it is HOT here.
Now moving on to today. Day was mostly good. Went to Costco, damn can i never get out of there under a hundred dollars All was great until I decided to get a replacement on my stylus for my Palm at Spint Store. I just can't take myself anywhere. I pullled another Klutz.... stubbing my shoe on concreate and what was funny was watching me fall to my hands and knees in slow motion
Anyway I got up and dusted myself off and got to the store and told this cute guy what I needed he went to look. I told another guy what I just did. The cute guy came back with a new stylus the asked if he could do naything else for me today hehe ... yeah a good +*&&^%%$.... HEHE
but I did not say that.... gee folks ... I do have restraint..... some....
I asked him if he had a magic wand that he could use on me to stop me from being such a klutz... he told me he was sorry but left it at home today.... ah well ... always the klutz.
all for now my keyboard is looking like a pillow!?
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A poem about sex:
a little ditty that I made up tonight thinking about a BJ.
Ode to a Cock
lick lick slurp slurp
suck suck
yummy yummy
pulling tight
licking long
flicking tongue hard and strong
making it jerk in my mouth
come on guy dont make me pout
give me your cummm all white and hot
stick it to me in one great big shot
oh to be a poet
or on the receiving end of my ode!
LOL
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Sex Finally! Hallelujah!
I am finally a happy or at least a semi-happy woman today. Why just today you may ask.... it has been a long time since the last interlude. Now some of you may think that February is not a long time ... Well this one is deep... when you get sex almost every day and then you don't get any for a long time from today to February is a life time. Not maybe a humans life time but at least that fly on the wall who has been waiting to go tell the world she got some.
What was even better than just sex. It was sex with bdsm involved ... oh yes hair pulling get this he does it just so... omg I die and go to heaven when he winds it up and pulls me around by my hair and makes me do things ... ah soooo sexy .... then he bites and spanks and slaps and pokes ... go figure i sing his praises.
Now some of you may say she could get sex all the time if she wanted and you would be most likely right. My problem is I am picky. Now my friend said tonight stop being so picky and have more fun ... don't limit yourself to age restrictions and he is most likely right ... but my fear of losing another male keeps age in my head more these days. I guess the best thing to do is not consider the age so much as the man behind the age maybe how he has taken care of himself etc.
All for now my good nite sleep and vibe is calling ......... oh really .... just kidding ..... maybe |
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Hello all,
Well let me say that I have had a wonderful time this week. Monday I needed to call the police at 9PM on my kids fighting and as I did my son attacked me and I got to call from the bathroom. Oh the joys of parenting.
The good thing was the munch on Tuesday. I got to meet some neat new people from all over the bay area. Oops got to let the cat out. Next Wednesday where the hell did Wednesday go ... I could not get awake. I got the kid to school and fell a sleep in a chair got up fed a kid went to sleep in the bed.. made dinner went to bed ...
A funny thing happened on the way to the sheets... a friend told me to watch Nine and a half weeks. Go figure I never had before. I had seen parts of course, like the sexy dance scene but really that was all. Where the hell was I? Thank god for On Demand play over and over and over. A new Favorite. Oh k kitty she is back ...lol oh no i have spider web gunk on my hand now
Today is the end of school. Bummer. What a week. The youngest is mad again calmed him down and I hide in the pages of collar me. Can't wait to find out what Friday has in store?
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The klutz is in repair mode. I have had a shot of cortisone shot in my shoulder and had a chriopractor shift my back this way and that (like getting hit by a mack truck) and I am feeling better. I am still unable to turn into a pretzel but I am working on it.
Lord have mercy on me school is getting out. My little DNA's will be home for the summer. No six blessed hours of quiet. No getting my work done without a "MOM can you" or "MOM where is". No I can't! I have no fricking idea where...
The only good thing I have done for myself is when they are sleeping and out cold I bought some new toys. Thank you vibe manufacturers for the smiles on my face during summer vacation.  |
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"Warning" eeeee rrrrr eeee rrrr (sierens)  do not let this one climb anywhere without back-up she can be the most amazing klutz if you let her... one good thing of being a dom look out for her." Hehe.
Ok, why the warning? Look back into my record on here and then add this ....
Got hot today in lovely Marin Co. What happened, hell came up from the middle earth and stuck it right in the middle of my life. I am sitting freezing from wind whipping thru my house Tuesday last week. Hey if a boat can get stuck on a bridge my house can turn cold.
I digress... So now it is a heat wave and things are gonna melt in my house the cats are starting to get longer. Even the bearded dragon was looking for relief.
So I am going around cleaning the floppy doddles on the fans ... in other circles other wise known as "blades" Got one done no problem. Finish with the second one ... looking up fixing the speed for the floppy doddles and coming down the ladder .... I thought the next step was the floor....
WRONG! Stepping into a big bunch of air ... 
Ok so here I gooooooooooooo
crash bang boom....
So I am alive since I am writing this ... all my bones are still mostly in place where to keep or leave the ice packs (Plural) was the most fun, drugs were good. Going to take some more when I am done here. Yippee! Clear a path (wide) she is coming and she is on drugs! What kind of dreams will I have tonight ...I'm falling>>>>>>
damn that floor was hard and what the hell a rug burn and no fun getting it ... damn . What is my world coming to? So just remember when you see me be wise make sure the klutz has left the building before you turn me into a pretzle ... for all you spelling perfectionists tonight I will edit later my word web is about like me damaged.
Think well of the klutz so she may rise again tomorrow ouch grrrrrrrrr omg  |
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Shall I enter in the New Year with a prayer? I know a few maybe a few could be answered.
One: Please take the klutz out of me this year. I need to be able to move, walk run dance drive and have sex without hurting myself.
Two: Which leads me to this. May I please find more fun, all kinds of fun, more adult fun this year. Sex for sex is great but also find the right person for all that above. I am also picky so I don't mean I will be standing at the cornor under a light. Ha.
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The klutz is back! Damn, I get sort of fixed and then wham bam not even a thank you, hehe. On the night of the munch thank god at the end I decide to take to the powder room. No powder. I close the stall door (like a regular door) on my ring finger. Enter at your own risk now. Since the mouth started cussing a blue streak. New words for kids to learn. OOPS. All the fountain drink areas had no ice. Holding my hand asking for ice twice you think they would get the idea. Finally ICE. Now I know I don't need to have a ring on that finger at this time but really lord I may need it again at some point? Ya never know. Then I try to leave the place and I can barely get my stuff to leave without falling over ... PAIN. Thank you ladies for keeping me from falling on my face. No I was not drinking.... unless Dr Pepper planted booze in the mix. This is all me folks not tape I'm live. Hehe.
Well now it is this lovely shade of purple. Soon to be black and blue but hey I did not have fun getting this pain or torture. Not fair. Not a whip nor spank yes it was at a munch would rather try another time for less pain and a lot more fun getting the bruise and on some other part of my body too. Did you hear me up there? |
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Well it has been a while since I wrote here. For some unknown reason (kids) I have not been on the computer as much as I would like to be. They come first and this and my writing comes last.
The best thing that has happened lately is a party I went to with JJ and PT and all her friends. Thank you again for inviting me. As always I had a blast. Good food and good friends and hey a few spankings and such.
I watched a long time and learned even more things. When I got to play I learned from Singletail that a rubberband aimed well on a breast can make really interesting treasure hunts, "X marks the spot!" I also learned from him while on the cross that a single tail is great on the SDS, I learned a new bunch on words. SDS = Same Damned Spot. Who knew. Well as my feet went to the balls and on tip toe I learned fast. I thank Singletail for all my learning and JJ for inviting him so I could.
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When I travel I go as much as I can prepared for what ever may come. When you travel with kids I sometimes find myself in the dark. Since kids don't come with training manuals or blueprints or how things work material I think I did pretty good. I came back with minus a book and a stylus for my palm pilot phone thank god I had that with google maps thingy.
Here is a born and raised California girl and her born and semi raised California men-children driving in Minnesota where exits are planned mind you on the left and right side of an interstate.  What man designed that bullshit? Take the left exit then hurry up and take the next one oh golly gee we're sorry that came up so fast you missed it. Let's try it again!, and again? Thank you for exits in California on the right side of the road.
I must be a wuss cause here I am with Bronchitis or something worse from my trip. It may come from oh I don't know God throwing a tizzy fit in weather. Where I come from when it rains it is cold. What the bleep is 85 degrees and raining? Then lets put the AC on everywhere. Hot and wet then cold. Even cowboys know that is a no no. If I was a horse I'd be dead! (A note here for those of you still drowning in Flordia and elsewhere, my heart and prayers go with you and I hope drying out happens fast along with safe and loving lives.) God needs to stop having tizzy fits there too.
The wedding we went for was beautiful and the clouds that kept circling and just really wanting to dump on us stayed away. Mother Nature was talking or more like  and for those few hours he was listening. HA HA.
So we got home and the kids were so good that they had to have a fight ... called the cops after and thank you school districts I get a blessed rest from summer and kids now I am truly on vacation at least six hours everyday ....
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Yeah I don't have a tear yet, give me time and maybe I will do something klutzy. Hey I get to go on vacation. Opportunities abound.
LOL. Ok, someone say a prayer and maybe I will get some luck.
As luck would have it I got to go to a party. Party? I use to know what that meant ... hummmmmm oh yeah where you have fun mingle food play adults (no kids  one phone call, I kicked grandma  ) someone pour something stronger than a coke please. Just kidding!
JJ again the wonderful hostess with the mostess thanks for the bites and the pulls... and the fun rubber ducky fun in the pool. (gee pull and pool so close and yet so far) Hot tubs naked bodies. Thank you all for tight asses nice equipment boobs and hey a lobster could not have been happier!
Thank you Sir G for the loan of the jewerly it was fun getting to see you and your slave.
Thank you POP for the fun and the rubber ducky he is so cute. I can't break him so it is a good thing!
For those of you who got to spank whip smack bite pull and otherwise make me tingle scream laugh strip to the music I thank you all. Oh yeah Sir R thank you for my first trip to fire play "something's burning" ... nice and hot (goes with my name, hehe) and yummy. I want to be first on the list next time. Please, please.
I got home and there was peace. Sent grandma home with a hug and a damn that kid.
Then I was a live wire... had to do something to get down off that natural high come here ducky................... buzzzzzzzzzz oooooooo that's much better!!!! |
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Here I go again. As I open a bottle of soda and watch all those bubbles flying up to the neck to escape out that tiny hole: I think that was what was happening to my neck and shoulder on Thursday and Friday. What the F&*((&, ! My body said right this second you are going to not move without pain or screaming or spams and guess what I am driving. Right in the middle of major traffic and I cant move my head to look out a mirror. My son is in shotgun possition and jumped almost out of the car every time I screamed. We got to our destination finally safe and sound, but not without losing a cell phone. Where it went I most likely will never know but I hope the person who got it gets fleas.
So I get home and make a call for help to the Chiropractor helped but not quite. Now it is time for the MD to take X-rays and MRI shit shit shit  Take a seat and find out if I get surgery or not.  Not until after vacation that is for sure, ever hear of suitcase on wheels? That is my next purchase. |
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Wow what a way to spend a Saturday night. I had a very very good time at a Bar-b-que hosted by JJ. She is a keeper! Thank you JJ for inviting me and for sharing your friends with me. I can say it in words, but there is so much more in the feelings I have in belonging to your group, allowing me into your home and your lives.
Ok, now to the nitty gritty. Hehe. OMG, I loved the electrical play! How the heck did I miss that one for over 33 years of sex I will never know!
Thank you Pop for bringing the toy and thank you JJ for suggesting I give it a try. Can I say mmmmmmmm Yummy.
Thank you Jo for biting lower. The butt cheeks are very happy sitting on them and of course I don't have to wear a bra! (if anyone does not understand please read further down the journal entries it will become clear!)
Howard, my friend, the butt is worthy! I have a nice even accord on my ass today! The cane was so nice. Spanking was pretty great too. Then with Jo's bites it just was a nice touch to look and feel.
I had a blast meeting new people in the hot tub as well. I also enjoyed the cupping, heck no not on me folks... just watching it. I could just see the kids seeing that ... what are those pancake marks on you mom. Maybe I will try that in say like 10 years?
If you were at JJ's party and read this stop by and say hello. |
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Well things are back to normal from the last journal entry. My son is now back home. He has new meds and hope he stays calmer and does not need a trip to the ER for a really long time. |
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I have not been online or on Collarme a lot due to some stuff going down at home. What else is new in my life? Kids, what can I say? I wish there was a magic wand handy. Nope, I am not Samantha, but my kids sometimes think I am a witch that starts with a "B". My youngest may think so very soon.
Saturday was a great day to start with, my youngest and I had food and talked and he played X-box and I watched. My oldest was still sleeping. Then a friend came over and they played x box for a few hours and the oldest woke up. Friend left, youngest played for a while then went to computer to check out some stuff. Oldest now thought he could play. He did for a few and things were still going great.
Me I was off doing mom things around the house and checking in once in a while. Wrong time to go upstairs, shit hit the fan of course and the fur went flying. The younger DNA decided he wanted right now the xbox back. I came down and said hey how about a 15 minute transition from him to you. He can finish the game and say good-bye to friends online. Older DNA said ok. Younger DNA said no 5 minutes or now. Ah the life of an attorney. Hummmm. Can we say contempt of court.
Well the fur went down the tubes. Microphone went flying. Duh.... it broke. Hum... mom's fault! Hey now wait a minute! You threw it, not me. Still my fault. LOL can't win. Can we say rage. I mean big RAGE.
Belly bumps and shoving and trying to get to brother DNA. Brother locked self in room. Hey guess who gets to deal. Yep it's me.
So try to get to phone to call for help to settle him down ...phone goes flying. Thank God for more than one phone. Try to get out of my house he locks dead bolts and blocks my way ... can we say mom mad... can we say mom can't leave her house now but can go out back. Arm twisted. He lets go. I get another phone and finally dial 911. He goes to the ground to cry.
Now he is a smart kid but when rage takes over brain is gone. He fights the police. Off he goes to the hospital .... then to the psych hospital ... me I am in tears... My little DNA is now in a safe place with lots of nice people taking care of him. I miss him, I want him back... I also know it might be better for him to learn now how to handle the rage before he turns to an adult. I also have to think of my oldest DNA and myself. Living under this stress and fear of when it will happen again.. not if... cause right now ... he has not the tools to restrain. |
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What a night Saturday was. I had a blast with the munch gang of Marin and of Lake/Sonoma counties. Thank you all for inviting me to the Citidel in San Francisco. I had a great time, except for the hot sausage in the food ... note to self don't eat spicy food when playing.... ugh! What a wuse I am.
Thanks for all the spanking flogging tickles and orgasms. Boy I needed it. Jo bite lower next time... I hate to wear bras to cover up bites, actually I hate to wear bras but that is another story.
I love running around naked on the cross and in that swing. JJ and PT thank you for the training the laughs and PT the swing. I promise to try and get my chi in line ...hehe |
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It is time for bed but I am still here. Why? I am reading my emails. Trying to find a happy note to the end of a rough day, again. Kids got to love them. Animals thank god for them, they look at you all warm and tender and all they want is to play and be fed. My dog just cost me an arm and a leg and one of the cats now has a food allergy. Damn kid bit me on the arm again on Saturday and then again today. Maybe he is a warewolf and just thinks I am a bone to eat. Guess I should feed him a milk bone? Better that than my arm. LOL.
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Thank God February is over and a brand new month is upon us. I can't be more happy, well I could be but let's forget about winning the Lotto or Publisher's Clearing House.
I have found out just how bad a year of not knowing what happened to a credit card account (that should have been closed) will do to a person. Closed the account cause Citibank did not like that my husband had passed. One year ago last Feb. I had to fight to get my points brought over to my new account. I paid the old one off, thought I was done. They allowed charges to stay on it, even though closed it and never sent me a bill.
Now my kid needs dental surgery in the hospital. I need to pay the dentist up front. Get this.. I want to increase my limit to help pay... I can't due to their mix up and the credit report that they made on it. GGGGGGGGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Took 7 hours on the phone to Citibank to fix. They would not fix it .... I had to. Beware, beware ............
Ok, now that my ranting is done. March better be better. Oh the surgery is on the 5th. Make note that kid will milk it for everything he can get. HEHE. He is not stupid. |
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Eat See's candy; apply directly to hips, I can't help it Molasses Chips and Scotchmellows keep calling me....eat more candy now than at Halloween. Me bad!
Ski week? What a crock. I don't ski. Why should I have to celebrate it? Whatever happened to Lincoln and Washington. Oh, we go out a spend money for those days, but did we celebrate them? Only if you were 5-12 years old. I did not even see a biography or history program on either of them on my favorite channels. I am ranting but I don't ski either. The klutz in me would find the biggest tree to hit or rock or wait how about that cliff over there that was not marked. That would be me. So now I have my kids home from school, pull hair out?
So then I have a drink or two this last week, rare for me. Nice tall seperator with Kaluha milk and brandy. One on Valentines day and then Friday. Why Friday?
I learned my son needs 13k dental work. OUCH Not just in the chair but done in the hospital. Kids are loads of fun dont you think?
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Happy Valentines Day!!!!!
To those of you who have the wonderful good fortune to have one good lover, sub, Dom, slave etc. Be greatful happy and acknowlegde them even if you don't go for flowers, candy or dinner. A fine hug a pat on the back or butt hey whatever strikes your mood.
To those of you who have more than one, share. LOL.
I went and got my own See's candy. I will buy my own flowers next week when the price goes back down. $10.00 plus hike for the same flowers for one day. Now thank god they dont do that to gas.
I then said "hi" to the heavens where my husband resides and went home to watch old movies. "I need a hug." |
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My word "the sun is out". I am even feeling warm. MMmmm now I am hot, hey wait a minute. No, no, not a hot flash! OMFG!
Ok, ok I am better now. Just changed shirts and soon I will need a jacket again. Whew! All you guys who are laughing just be glad we ate the forbidden fruit frist.
Speaking of guys.... now I really do love guys. What I would like to say is I have enough married and taken men. What I NEED are those scarce and hard to find jobs that are single in here.
That does not mean I won't talk to married and taken guys. Just let me know so I don't get any ideas.
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Hello to all who read. I am not doing the add Friends list. I am finding that people are asking for me to add them and I don't even know them.
I am very happy to say hello to those of you who write me. I normally will say if I am interested, not interested, just tired and can't reply right away even tho I read. Some I am sorry get away from me. That comes with life getting away from me. Not that I am not willing to say something. |
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Happy New Year!
May all your dreams for future fun all come true. Let it be said that we play safe yet stretch our boundries as we play.
My dreams are for a safe and sound year with my sons and with friends. Like a reptile coming out from under a rock, I wish to face the sun, gather its rays and shed my skin. Shed my pounds with my Jenny Craig and shed as many clothes as I can .... ummmmmmmmmmmm within reason. He he. |
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Cucumbers... get your cucumbers here! Submit to the veggie. |
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I am sorry to those I have pissed off. Friday, I was battered by my son who is 12 1/2 years old. Instead of telling people what happened I decided to make small talk. Some of whom did not wish to hear, to them I apoligize. To those I have not written back to I will try later this week.
Sibling rivalry gone haywire. When two boys spit and fight and you get in the way you get hurt. Been there done that. This time I tried to leave the room and one kid followed me. Saw me taking the phone out to make the call to 911. He grabbed my arm and bit. Phone fell and broke apart (luckily still works). Went to the hard line and tried grabbed me again bit this time drew blood, little jerk vampire.
Then he globbered me on my head, still standing. Yeah me. The kid is 5' 2" and weighs 190lbs. now you know why yeah me. Had other son called 911. He did. Running to front door to open it. Trying to get outside to back off from pissed off son. Blocked my way. Yeah here come the sheriff. Now he goes and hides in the closet.
They talk him out and on with the handcuffs. Kaiser bound. 5150 (that means danger to himself or others)
I get my other son fixed up at home and go on to kaiser to get looked at. No shot just antibodics for the human bite. He is lucky my tetnus was up to date. I hate shots. I would have said give him one too. Just for practical purposes. Ok, maybe some revenge. I can lower myself.
I hate to say it but Thanksgiving is a very busy time for the lonely people out there. The on call pysch md did not get there till 5pm.
He checked out my son and said he could go home now. As a mom, I wanted him to come home for the rest of the holiday time. As a victim I wanted his ass in a pysch hospital for three days. Each one of me was torn in half and I am still torn today. I have been crying buckets of tears non stop.
I also have had no wish to have any bdsm or sex since Friday. Go figure. What I need are hugs, massage, cuddles and chocolate. Can't help it I need my comfort food to hell with my diet. |
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To all who read my profile and journal I wish to say Happy Thanksgiving and may the start of the Holiday season to its conclusion be Happy and meaningful to you all. |
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The last thing he said to me was when I hit you hard count that as one and so on till the fifth one. Can we say "ouch" One. Two, Three (oh i forgot to say that in between the real hard ones were smaller hard ones) Four, (now counting the smaller hard hits) ouch five, six seven, eight (laughing from the girls sitting to the left) now the biggest hit Five. He then let me off the cross.
I am now sitting on those last Five hits. LOL. After viewing them in the mirror since I got home. But that was not all. That was just last.
I was invited to go to Edges in San Jose with my friends. It was very interesting and fun place to hang out and look around. The voyeur in me enjoyed it too.
Adventures for me start with the driving to a new town in the dark and in the rain. Hydroplaning is fun, brake lights are not. Mapquest needs updating!
Getting there and then not having to drive to the play area even better. Thank you PT, nerves went down. Changing clothes and finding that i still need to drop pounds is ok. Something to look forward to wearing an outfit that did not quite work tonight, but the corrset fit not bad for dropping 25 lbs. LOL.
So I get my favorite lady as my dom for the first scene. Thank you for my chills and thrills oh and the bites plus the wheel mmmmmmmmmm yummy.
Then some more watching and learning and yearning. Damn that massage looked great. Jealous yes happy for them yes. My turn next time. he he Then got to watch a single tail and cupping and much more.
Then back to before mmmmmmmm a perfect evening with some chills again and as he played I reacted. Wet and wild. More please.
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Tough love: What does that mean? I like duct tape but the state of California frowns on that. Bummer! I would love to duct tape my kids together for a whole day. Make each one go to the others' school and do the work. Yes still taped together.
They have not been the best of boys lately. So "mean mom" took away the game consoles. X-box 360, PS2, Wi, Game Cube, Nintendo 64, their computers, and TV. My youngest kid went crazy and I had to call in the sheriff to help calm him down. During the week they behaved and got the TV and the PS2 back. Now of course they want more. "Mean mom"of course says "No" Not until you learn to listen to me and do as I say. So they are in learning mode and me I am going crazy again.
Sex: what does that mean again? Oh yeah, it is that condition of bliss that I am not getting again. LOL. It comes and goes. I am going to get the flu shot asap. I need to stay healthy long enough to play. Plus get the kids healthy so I can get them out from under foot.
all for now
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Like the old saying goes, we have kids so our parents get some payback! Yeah, but h ow much payback do you really need. The adage here is really starting to bug me!
I was only a little hellion. My kids although young are big hellions. (Looking up at the sky) What the hell did I do to deserve this one? Do I hear thunder?
Ok, remember the last entry. I was out having fun? My son and his friend were out trying to get into my RV thru the vent hood. Needless to say it broke they did not get in and mom was P.O.ed.
Next week: rain. Order part go up on RV learn to fix things myself. No more honey to do honeydos. Damn. I have yet to check for leaks, me bad. I really don't want to
Then a good thing. Finally, my son with Asperger's finally gets into a class at high school that will help him learn and not drive him crazy, which will help me stop going crazy
Next stop along my road a trip to San Jose with the youngest son. Now he already has been diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. That last one is a fun one folks. Well now we went to the Autism Spectrum Department and he has certain criteria for that as well, but not as much as his older brother. He has PDDNOS which means Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwisee Specified. Which means his social cues are way below others his age.
The last hour we were there,so far 9am to 2pm (which he was great!) he started to head bang, over and over again. He wanted out, he made it through till 3:20 pm then 2 hour drive back. He crashed then I crashed at 9:30pm. If I missed writing back to you, you may have a clearer picture now as to why. |
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What a wonderful weekend I had. Thank you to those who played a part in it. You do not know how much you all mean to me. I can't wait for the pictures. Rosy cheeks and all, hehe.
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Hi to all who read here. I have been ill for a few days so if my messages are short that is why. I have had some kind of allergic reaction to something or some kind of virus. Staying home in bed. Word of warning: Don't drive in the morning when you take baby antihystimes. They work just as well as adult strength. Can we say sleep while driving. Not a good idea. .. no ... no accident. |
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God I love it. Sitting here just reading my mail. Get a mail and I reply. Hey it is the nice thing to do right? Yep. So then I am told that I am too slow in my replies. Hey I got things to do, besides replying to every post ... post haste. I got kids coming home and dog and cats that want in and out and hey a floor of papers that dont pick themselves up. Just for starters.
Then I ask for a photo. Then go back to my work and then i get blocked. For the love of god, take some time... look out your window, go file some papers... read a book .. go to the mens room and wank one off. Just don't wait for me to reply like I've got nothing else to do guys. |
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How hard I try to keep a level head here on Collarme and be strong when things don't go my way. Wanting to meet people is so hard for me without a sitter for the kids. It has been nice to finally meet the group in Marin for dinner twice. I want to have me time. Ha ha. I am hoping for soon.
One weekend just slipped away. My sons drove me crazy, what was worse, they had friends over. Kids that have ADHD or other problems meet other kids with similar problems. My sons and these kids were bouncing off walls. Oh, for an air dart with a sedative on it. Four kids out for a blessed sleep. LOL. I know bad mommy. But hey, they get a blankie and pillow and milk and cookies when they wake up. Then the kids that are not mine leave. Their parents got a rest and so did I. I wish, I get to be umpire more times than not.
Sundays here are trash day. I worked outside and inside to pick up after everyone and everything. I cleaned the hot tub. Tomorrow, splash down. I had my arms into the pond up to my shoulders cleaning it out, ick pond scum. However, the dog got three new balls that got lost!
Another pet passed away this week. Speedy, the hamster. Did you know hamsters only live about 500 days? This one did pretty good. Again, I got to put it to rest in the ground. It was a good friend to my sons. I can't throw them away. Egad, I am making a pet cemetery. Better not be any hocus pocus going on out there! |
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This week was hard on my mind. It was the start of my sons journey to High School. His dad and I met there and now it starts again with him.
School started for him on August 22. There were problems with his schedule that had to be fixed. I spent time at school waiting to fix it. Then I needed information on my other son and made inquiries about him.
Then meetings after school. Then dinner and homework. The day was over I went to bed.
Then August 23rd. It dawned on me that yesterday was my wedding anniversary. I was so busy I had forgotten. OMG! I started to cry and could not stop. All day and then Friday and Saturday I felt ill.
Today I feel better. I hate pangs of guilt. Then I also felt him near me over this week. Like saying I am here. You did a good job. Then and only then did I feel like I was at peace with myself. |
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She flys by the seat of her pants. That was tonights slogan for what is new with my life. PE was the place I had a date all set for tonight and that went by the wayside due to complications with building verses playing .... building won. What the heck It led me to the SF Citidel. Go figure..here I was dateless... then a note from a good friend saying ... come play with us. Ok, the sitter was coming, but I lost an hour. Playtime started at 8 now not 9. Well hardly time for the 3S's... shit, shower and shave. Hum... ok forget the hair washing and drying ... money got to have money for the love of god where did all my mad money go? Oh yeah Kids ... pizza. Hit the bank without getting stopped by the police not for robbery no ... for speeding>>>>>>. Just got to get my money officer ... really I need to get f---ed and spanked and ah you know ... you are human right? Ok no I did not get stopped... but hey wouldn't it be nice to invite your favorite cop nite. Digressing.
Now driving downtown SF where did they put Golden Gate ... say what I cant turn here. Yes folks my printer did not work.. no maps for me... again flying by the seat of radar. SEX.... find the SEX! Wrong way .. Damn I always guess the wrong way for the numbers on streets.
Parking cool as long as it stays there and I dont wake up my cars neighbors poor things.
Ok walk into the Citidel.. first of all I would like to congrats myself, going alone, then walking to the place on my own. Nice place kind of homey. Hey wait, I don't have this furniture in my house... damn some of which I wish I did.
Now, I would like to say that I had a blast. The music was great. I was getting spanked and I wanted to dance.
What's going on back there. I like this. OOOO wait a minute that feels goooooood... ouch .... ouch ... mmmmmmm... ouch . You get the idea.
Then a break ... can we say Kilroy was here. Talk about voyeuring. WOW. My jaw dropped in good ways.
Ok back to me... another go round ... no problem... tie me up ... i think there goes a song ... bound and blindfolded. Up on some kind of spanking horse (ok ok I am a beginer, I don't know the proper names for things yet) but yippee I LIKED IT!
Thank you to those who participated in my first trip to a dungeon.
Oh and call me I will get my sitter. Omg will I. |
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Ninja passed quietly today in a warm bed. My kids were sad and felt life stuck it to them again. The neighbor and I both got teary eyed this morning. I took care of him myself, the boys wanting to keep good memories of him left the burial to me. |
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I went to my first Munch Tuesday night. I had a lot of fun meeting new people and eating good food. Thank God for adult conversations and finding people out there with the idea that sex is not a bad word. Thank you all for letting me into your world. |
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Well life is always new around my house. It also flows in great circles of life. Losing a loved one is hard. Losing a pet can be also hard. Especially when that pet has lived for 20 years of your life. My first pet, all my own, Ninja and his brother Lucas (deceased) were born in 1987. Ninja has seen it all. If he could talk in any human language, my goose would be cooked but good. Roasted!
He has seen me thru my single years, my romantic years with husband before married and then thru marriage and two kids. Ninja ran away from home when the first son came.
As a mother I told my cat in no uncertain terms he will not run away again. The second son was born and he basically said this house is getting crowded. He just stayed out more.
When the two labs passed on, Ninja was king of the house. Then, he was all shit why did they have to bring in the silly female lab pup and ruin my backyard fun. Ninja started hanging out next door. The neighbors were older, they did not have dogs and they did not pull his tail. Ninja found a pair of nice adults to spend the sunset years with. He guarded them and watched over them. He has been keeping her company since she lost her husband a week after I lost mine.
Now Ninja is losing his back legs and can't get up from where he is laying. The kids have put catnip around him to make him "go crazy or die happy" I am not sure. I will have him checked out tomorrow
but am pretty sure the vet will say there is nothing we can do.
So the circle moves round again.
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Living with a migraine for the last two days. Unable to look at the computer and web. Then I felt better finally but still tired and under the influence of the drugs I take. My 20 year old cat wanted attention and then out into the garage. I was half a sleep walking down the stairs. Holding onto the cat and not the banister. I missed two steps and fell to the floor. The cat was fine. My right foot was not. My son helped me upstairs and bandaged my foot and brought me the ice pack. Good thing, was not broken just badly sprained. Ouch. |
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The day is just starting and my nite owl side has taken over. Damn, why do I have to get up at 6 AM. Oh yeah, those DNA's. Summer School! Now, I don't mind it considering the fact that my two little, cute DNA's fight like Cobras and Mongooses ( or is that geese, lol). Couldn't we start summer school at 10am?
When my kids started school I was like wow time flew and I watched as other mothers and fathers cried. Me? Ha. It was like freedom to clean a house and have all the rooms stay clean all at the same time. Heaven.
My husband and I had fun. He worked shifts and had days off during the week. I loved when he got up and took them to school. Alone now it is all up to me. (Do you remember the days when everyone walked to school?) We would work around the house together. Play together and have the best sex. Nooners or all day. That was what I loved about school time. The kids, they say Homework? What's that? Another reason why I am on the computer late at night. Homework wars.
Someday I hope for those all to come back to me.
Hey, school administrators can we punch up the time please?
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Today is July 14 2007, my birthday is today, Bastile Day. The French Revolution started today. Independance is a strong line with me. Which really makes it hard sometimes to be a sub. I know I have to work hard at it to be one.
What else is today. Well it is my 50th birthday. All the cards I am getting are about how much I have lost. My hearing, eyesight and color in my hair.
I say instead, What have I gained? Brains and the common sense to use them. I have learned to love life and not to be afraid to try new things. Hence my being here. Sex, lets see I like it even more than when I started having it. Hey, I know more than " Tool A goes into slot B" LOL. Then I think we do this. Thank you God for older women and older men. Who would train us otherwise. LOL
I was told by a nice man, yesterday that I looked 40 when my son told him we were getting ready for a party and that it was the BIG 50. My son, he just claims I am 44.
So I am happy with the aging process. There are days when I do too much and I feel like 90 and then there are days that I feel like 29. I am happy with being imbetween.
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Happy Fourth of July! My god it is hot here. Even my cats body on my lap (i know a pussy on a pussy) is burning a hole there. Very uncomfortable. Off you go cat, scat.
I wish there was a way to get rid of that pic to the right of the almost naked girl from bondage gear. My kids are getting too old not to figure out what kind of site I am hanging out on with her hanging there! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
My last night of viewing Fireworks from my stairwell is tonight. I miss being held by my husband while watching them. I have my kids to watch with me. Not quite the same. Oh well, maybe next year ... a master will watch with me. Maybe I will still go it alone. It will be my choice.
My Grandmother was born on this day, she was very Independant. I was born on Bastille Day. Maybe I am too Independant to be a sub or slave and those of you who have tried give up on me. Or give up on me too soon.
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Well bust my britches! My son is home. I hope he learned his lesson. It could be a revolving door for a while. My other son is driving me crazy in summer school. "No mom, no homework. At 10PM I get can you help me with this. GGGGGGGGGrrrrrrrrrr.
I can't get sex online when I am doing homework help with the kid till 11:30PM. Sex? I think my kids are in better shape of getting it faster than me. Just kidding.
Ok, it is not that I need it, well, yes it is. I need it all the time and soon. Please. I do believe I am going bonkers
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  Hello All,
I am trying to stay focused and happy. It is hard to do when you have a son that is back in the Hospital for behavior problems. Why do I want to go into a lifestyle that has me submitting to a whip or cane(or any other object), when I am trying to teach my son that hitting mom is wrong? Can life be so complicated?
Let me face this with thought. I know that my son is hitting me out of anger and rage. He is mad that he is not getting his wants met. Where as his needs are met.
I am looking into BDSM to find what? Anger, rage NO. Am I trying to absolve myself from thinking this is my fault what happens to my son. That it is my fault when he goes ballistic? NO. Then why? Do I want to explore, to learn about myself? My husband and I started before he passed with light BDSM. We both liked what we were doing. I know this is just a natural progression to learn to explore all the kinks and twists to sexual, sensual needs that I have. It took me a while to figure this out. Finally I have. It feels good. 
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Welcome home!
Thank God! Home and safe. Wow, what a fun time we had going thru security check points. They did a great job. My kids did not say any of those catch phrases that get you an inside look to the proceedings. Like hey "look at my knife and or gun or What a bomb? or could we say Hijack?" So we got to go on the plane. On the way home one lady told me to shut up me and my kids. I told her to stuff it. Should have asked "who died and made you Queen?"
Ok enough with airports.
Can we say shopping? The Mall of America is huge I mean HUGE! I went thru the stores and only bought stuff in two. One for me and one for the kids. There was no adult toy shop anywhere damn.
Hottie |
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ON VACATION!
I will be back I hope safe and sound and most importantly refreshed(that is, if the little DNA'S allow me some rest!) If not I may just forget to bring them home? OOPS, I forgot them, I only had 25 mmmmmmmmm banana whatchamacallits. Heck if they can't follow the leader in the airport(thru the baggage area) its not my fault, is it? giggles.
Ok, no I won't leave them. No matter how much I want to. HeHe. I left bread crumbs for them to follow and 20.00$ for a ticket change over. I am a good mom.
Seriously, they get to fish on the Missississippi River, go to some Zoos, see IMAX movies, go shopping at the Mall of America. They will have lots of fun and I will get some time to myself. All in all a good Vacation. Will report back after the fact. Bye for now. |
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Ok let's try this one. Can we all say blah. That was my week in a nutshell. Anyone got any chocolate. I mean a great big bowl of candy. Yes, in my next life I am going to be an M & M. Maybe like that cute purple one on the commerical that has just come out. Boa and all, she's to frilly no one will eat her, right?
Lets talk about kids. Why you may ask? Hey, its why I need the chocolate. They're driving me bonkers! One just hit the shit out of me at Mervyns cause he did not get those stupid shoes with the skates. Now there is a Forum Post for you. "The Stupid things designed for kids. #1 to spend money on #2 to kill and/or break something with. Ok I am rambling. No my middle name is not Rose, nor my first.
Wow, where did the first half of 2007 go. We are closer to Christmas in July. Hehe, why wait. I need gifts now. MMMM, vibes are good. A glass dildo, oh and an electric weed wacker.
Ok people not for sex, sssssh I got 3 foot weeds in the back yard. Boy what dirty minds you have. Ha Ha.
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Well hello all you readers of Journals. I am doing better today. My son is doing better in the hospital. A good thing. I had written here that I had found a Dom for online I have found that an online Dom is hard to work with except with actual roleplaying. |
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I have had for the first time in a very long time a very mean even cruel answer just to a hello. I would like to say that most every man I have met here has treated me with respect and on many occassions passion so hot I burn. For those of you who have talked to me and opened my heart and mind and legs I thank you. To the ones who have not learned about simple courtesy and respect I hope it does not come back and bite you on your ass remember too you will not stay young slim or have your hair forever. Oh for the lack of a curse!
LOL. |
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Ok today I want to scream and yell at life. Not a really bad day at first. Then one of them little DNA's I spoke about ended up over the top. He ended up in observation. Ok dirty laundry! Does it fit with kinky sex? Maybe not, however, for the next few days when you contact me please be aware that I am now like a Mother Bear who has lost a cub, knows were it is but cant get to it. Kinky sex or not? For the next few days my submissive behavior may need more taming!!!! |
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Hello all who read journals. If you ask me for a chat please do not get mad if I don't answer yes or no. Many times I am busy doing three things at once. Also I have children. Those pesky things that yell and fight and come up to you so cute to get or want something and all you want to do is ................ but then you remember I made them so you forget about those nice members on Collarme and go help those small creatures that share your DNA. |
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What the heck am I doing here? Am I trully a sub? Do I want this kind of life all the time or do I wish for a less full time job as a sub? Can I be a sub only when it suits me or does that disqualify me as a sub? |
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do i have horns ... oh my goodness I best not go into the woods someone would mistake me for a deer! 
I wish I had something fun to tell you all but this will have to do.
See I needed my own money. A pint of blood and my first born child too. (Can't have my kids, I may complain about them here but they are mine don't mess with the mom.) Ok ok I got another van. One redeaming feature? mmmmmm bed in back? Ok slut back in the brain.
