I am embarrased to say this turned me on at the time but eventually he began sharing me with what he called business associates or partners. I was a young woman a girl almost being used for sex by men, I was confused and afraid at times but I did what I was told and somehow it began to feel right, something inside needed it, needed to submit. sometimes he just watched them use me, sometimes he would join in, He would take me to hotels and we would meet the men at the bar sometimes several men and I would go with them to their room, once he tied me up and blindfolded me and I was used by a group of 5 men. They came all over me so I was soaked in cum, used like a filthy whore, other times he would take me to what he called a private club up state, members only with special rooms some filled with bondage furniture where I would be tied up, my clothes cut off me, and I was used for men's pleasure, blindfolded restrained and humiliated for all to see or alone with one man so no one could see or hear. At times he would trade me for other young women with his associates.  It became clear to me that many of the men had similar arrangements and had their own young women as submissives. Somehow that made  me feel ok about it, I was not the only one and that others had these needs and desires.

 

It all ended as quickly as it began, He was transferred and we promised to keep our secret. I learned that he had suddenly died six months later and I closed that part of my life I thought forever, I graduated put it behind me and began my life, met a good man and married. I have built a very good life with him and thought I was happy and normal and didn't think about what I did at college, chalk it up to youth, college experimentation and a once in a lifetime taboo experience with a very special man.  

 

I don't know what it is but now its all I think about, my body craves it, so much I can't sleep some nights. I need it, I need that passion that lust, I need a strong man to take me, use me, make me his slut. I could never and will never go back to being shared, that was only for HIM so don't ask. I have lots to lose now and need to be safe. I get lots of messages here but I am afraid, sorry if I don't reply. Too timid to chat at this point. I do read all of them and some tempt me but I am very hesitant. Its frustrating, knowing that men are out there who want and need just like I do but can't revel themselves just like I can't so I find ways to play in my head and fantasize.

Today I sort of have a double life, innocent and "normal" by day and at work, but when I'm in the mood, the normal goes away and the slut comes out... Sometimes I go shopping out of town and I wear skirts that are a little too tight a little too short with no panties, heels, a little too much makeup, red lips and perfume. I look to see who is watching me, hoping I will somehow meet the one.

 

I know what I want, I want someone like HIM, mature, sophisticated, handsome, sexy, a gentleman in public but sexually dominant MAN who knows how to properly use a slut... bondage/discipline, a good slut needs to be forcefully spread open from time to time but not sadistic, a little pain is ok if it comes from forceful and intense sex, spanking, face fucking, a slap but no marks.

(listen to me, that's the inner slut leaking out)