After sometime away I have returned. Life is a journey of discovery. The more we discover the more we learn about ourselves and the better we become. Even though I am a Dominant, I am not a sadist as a rule. However, I can be when the mood strikes me. I very much prefer to use mental control over physical, since I believe that a single word can be more devastating than the hardest caning or flogging in the right situation. Having said that, I can and do use physical punishments if I deem it is appropriate.
One of the most wonderful things a submissive can do, is to give up complete and utter control without reservation. As a Master it is important to remember that they are neither "punching bags" or "doormats". Submissives need to be cherished and nurtured as they develop or they will wilt and die. I don't believe in saying, "On your knees bitch." or telling a sub that I am their Master and expect instant submission. I will only look like a complete fool. I know, from past experience when I first started out in the lifestyle, but now I have learned my lesson well. At the end of the day it is ultimately a submissives choice of whether or not to be owned, a slave and kneel to the one they consider a Master.
This however does not stop you from providing me with pleasure. It doesn't matter if it is sexual or not. Sometimes your willingness to push your limits or just having you serve me in some ways is pleasure enough. One thing I have learned from owning a slave is that they tend to thrive on serving in a mundane manner, be it making me a drink or bathing me if I so desire it. This to me shows the difference between a slave and submissive.
Slavery isn't about having a servant without question, a punching bag, or a doormat. Slavery is a state of mind. A sub is someone who likes to submit, but they will limit what they submit to so that they are able to retain ultimate control. A slave gives over that control. It does not mean they don't have opinion. In fact they should have opinions, and those opinions should be listened to, but any decisions should sit with the Master.
A slave can live without constant control. However, with a look, or a call, they will submit to the one they call Master. A slave and a Master should grow together and never stagnate. An M/s relationship should be a balance between BDSM and 'vanilla' life.
When a slave is in public, whether it be at work, running errands or out socializing, it should always be seen as a 'vanilla' member of society but underneath, to know it is a slave and owned. On occasions a slave may receive a call, a text, or an email, telling them to carry out a task. It could be as simple as going to the toilet and removing their underwear, or only drinking one sort of particular drink. These are tasks to remind the slave of their ownership.
A slave should be held close, cared for, listened to and should always speak to their Master openly and honestly if they see that there is a problem within the relationship. Leaving should never be an option, at the first sign of problems. This is not the sign of a true slave.
Slavery is giving the final decisions of your life over to the Master you trust. Many people think limits need to be set in stone, but to me personally, slavery is without limits, or at least truly defined ones. The most important thing to remember is that even though ultimate trust and control is given over to the Master by the slave, for a Master to go beyond those limits of the slave and then to keep pushing without taking their opinions into consideration, is a breakdown in that trust.
While a slave allows a Master control, a true Master does not use it all. It is the ability to truly understand the limitations of the slave, and not over extend them, that makes one a Master, not just a bully.
