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WOW, why does life have to be so complicated? Hope it works out for everyone involved. It has been so beautiful lately I am truly blessed! |
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Have had a few life changes and some travelling....now to sort it all out. |
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I have had a really great week. Good success with things I have been working on and some thought provoking and evocative conversations. It seems the more I learn...about myself and others....the more I desire to learn as well. |
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Pretty great weekend. Had success with some things I had been working on. Today is beautiful and very hot. Need to keep busy with planned projects. |
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Life is good right now. I am enjoying some new dialogues. Still looking for that right fit. |
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I am amazed at how people have such differing thoughts on kink and BDSM..... My life will be changing direction, I have decided. |
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Life has surprised me lately. I am ready for it, I AM READY! |
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San Diego is here.....just beautiful |
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Interesting discussion on hypnosis...I am liking it |
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Sometimes it is difficult when you are missing someone or something and you cannot do anything about it. |
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Might find myself in San Diego later this month for several days. |
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Good weekend...could have been better...but things are looking up a bit. |
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I have had a couple of interesting weekends. NLP versus hypnosis...what is the difference? |
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SO, the past 10 months have been very bizarre. I am ready for a little more normal. Interested in friends and growth. Hypnosis has been a little more interesting to me lately. |
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OK so the end is near...YAY. This year has been epic in many ways...alot of them NOT good, smile. I am looking forward to the new year. I hope to find one to committ to, I have had enough illness tp last me a while. Everyone have an AWESOME wekend! |
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I hate being sick.....and I hate it more when people I care about are sick. |
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Sometimes my life is FAR too interesting...sigh. Normal for a while might be good. |
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I actually had someone lecture me about what freedom meant and how I was just not very bright if I thought I wanted to be a slave. I ma not know what their idea of slavery is, though non consnesual is not what I am seeking. I do know though that if to serve one is what I want to do, to learn...how to do that IS OK. I am free to make that choice and no one can take that away from me. |
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Soooo, computer has been freaking out, it will be time to do something about that soon enough, no reliability to be found on it anymore.
Smile, little girls...sigh...some fun stuff there I am finding.
Ya'll have a good weekend I am going to look for some trouble. |
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Difficult week of lessons...frustrating...VERY |
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Sometimes learning a lesson can be REALLY difficult, especially when someone you do not care for is administering the learning. |
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So are little girls often slutty? If so how do their Daddys feel about that...is that normal? I am confused by some of these feelings....sigh. |
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I think that when that place of order and control is found it is so much easier to breathe. Once a rythm is found there...surrender becomes a true possibility...THAT is my idea of an ideal state. |
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Moving forwad can be difficult...but indeed after much thought and discussion...advice and tears...I feel it is time to shed my confusion as best I can. |
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So I find that little girl part of me emerging more and more.....wonder what that is all about. She is indeed a sweet, slutty creature...at times terrifying....sigh |
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Adult hospital one night and childrens hospital the next...SUCKS really hard. |
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WHAT AN INCREDIBELY BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!!!! I have had a pretty interesting week...I love meeting new and different people. Hope ya'll have a fantastic day. |
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thoughts......
so there was this lil girl who was approached by a VERY interesting man...He got to know her and told her that He wanted to become her Daddy and Master He discovered all her nasty dirty thoughts and desires. He then set about training her to do humiliating things in public and private...to be His little sex toy and obedient baby girl. He taught her that the more humiliating ...the BETTER, hotter, pleasing it was. She was so entranced by Him that His words when spoken did not fill her with a need to obey ...she found that she COULD NOT disobey. When He told her the things He was going to make her do...she could not imagine doing them...the thought of them scared her...and made her feel tingly too...but she never told Daddy that. One day He made her write Daddys girl on her breasts and place clamps on the nipples...take her panties and put them in her mouth and take pictures to send Him...when she did she discovered that her Daddy was correct and she was very wet and turned on...she had to tell Him because He made her promise to tell Him exactly what happened and how she felt, so He then made her take pictures of her pussy to send Him so He could see that as well. Each time He made her do something outrageous [to her at least] she became even more aroused. On this day He told her she was going to do more than ever before...He wanted to make sure she was ready to prove herself. She was very scared, but she agreed...and felt really good when she said yes,..and she was also very aroused and wet.
He instructed her to put cothespins on her nipples and then pierce them with needles...she was shocked and not sure she could do it...them all of a sudden she realized with a sense of calm that she COULD do this. She stripped put the clothespins on and slowly pushed the needles through the first nipple realizing as she did that there was cum dripping sown her thigh...her Daddy told her she could NOT orgasm...she was so close...but she did not...she then as slowly pushed the other needle through the other nipple telling herself the whole time that something must be wrong with her as her gush was soaking her thighs and making a puddle on the floor. It was at this point that she began to wonder if she was a lost soul...she took pictures next to show her Daddy. As she has done these things and thought about them...she wonders at her depravity....how Daddy knew these things would make her so wet, so aroused make her feel so small and lost. How these actions would make her feel His ownership so deeply....
anyone have commentary on these girls thoughts..... |
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So the rain this weekend has been SPECTACULAR!!!!!!
Why do some people ask questions...tell you they want DETAILED information...and then disappear? WTF????? What were they seeking really other than to mess with someone. I was honest and true...I just don't get it..... |
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So I am confused about something...someone GREATLY chastised me for using the word Sir... . I explained that I was raised in the south and by parents who believed in Sir and Ma'am. He told me that as He was NOT my SIR I could not call Him by that title. So I went from Sir to sir...where He then informed me that I could not call Him sir in any fashion..and told me that I had alot to learn including how to listen. So much for courtesy. |
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Relapses SUCK....sigh.
I recently had someone ask me about inducing lactation...what I though about it...I realized I did not know what to say. I have not really consedered that. Hmmmmmm...smile.
Thanks to everyone who is wishing me well ...I really appreciate it.
To those who just seem to vanish, sigh I am disappointed.
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Feeling ALOT better today, trying not to over do it do not want to relapse. It is a beautiful day here.
I am confused by a couple of the people I was talking with on here but I guess that is to be expected, sigh.
Hoping to see some good friends tonight.
Have a super evening everybody |
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Well I can manage to sit up without falling over...still a little feverish and achy and I successfully ate today...yay me. Those few who knew and cheered me up, thanks. Was going to go to a party this wekend ...but I think not at this time...heh. Everyone have a really good weekend. |
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Sometimes I am not sure what I hate more ....the people who make compuer virus...or the companys who sell protection against the virus that never seem to save my computer..... . Computer had a critical failure last night while I was in the middle of writing...took me all night to reformat it. Tired, loathing this format currently, feeling the need for a good souind caning!!! |
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WOW...cant sleep.....too many thoughts.... . Confused feelings...am i disloyal? Why can this man make me think so much...just chatting and so many thoughts. |
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Long and interresting week...moving a day at a time and not doing too badly I think. I have received some mail from some very sweet people who have offered good counsel.
I am always amazed when people talk about all the BS and negativity here...I have found real people who care, it gives me hope.
Have a super weekend everyone!!!!! |
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So what is it that makes people who have NO relationship with you feel like they can call you names and verbally abuse you just becasue you are in flux, or down. Because I am a slave does not mean I am a doormat and most importantly not any or everyones doormat.
That is just rude behavior |
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Doing last minute Christmas shopping, visiting with family and making cookies...smile. The ex is becoming rather interesting, He has decided He wants to learn BDSM and D/s hmmm after 10yrs apart, I wondered if that was possible...but He seems to have an aptitude. Now if He can ever learn to control that temper what a DOM He may make. Sir has me encouraging Him and it really seems to be working, it is an interesting thing. Have found 2 new gf to replace the one I lost a month ago...things are looking up. Had a wicked EVIL man pay me a holiday visit, sigh, is was DAMN FANTASTIC!!!! Have a SUPER Christmas all.... |
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WOW, has it really been a month since I last posted....! I have been super busy, got a house and am busy in what used to be all my spare time...lol...remodelling it.
Holidays were awesome, hectic but awesome!
Miss talking with Sir...He has been super busy with work so that has cut into our time...but no matter really...just continue on with His wishes to the best of my ability.
Have been doing alot of travel as well on the weekends and have made contact with some old friends...some things never change... .
Hope everyone has an AWESOME week! |
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What a fantastic weekend! Visiting friends are the bomb...especially sexy girlfriends! So a very fun weekend for the three ladies this weekend...and some exceptional play as well...of course then there is all the pent up sexual energy that must come out somehow? Too bad the weekend was only 4 days long for us...need more...more!!! |
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Well the party was awesome...had me floating for several days, sigh. Of course then I caught a nasty bug of sorts...hope I am better for the weekend or that will mightily suck. Got to speak with Master for a while this week but it is never long enough, sigh. When I said yummy man...I meant yummy man. Still yearning for some out there play, we shall see. |
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Morning All, I am having an awesome week! My weekend was hectic and work filled, but I got alot done. It is extremely satisfying to start a project and see it through to completion knowing that it is all "your" hard work that "made it"! I am really looking forward to the weekend as I am going to a private party and boy do these people know how to throw a party. I am hoping that at least one of the people I trust to play with shows up...because I am in need of some serious play. I think I need a serious caning...hmmmm, maybe. I met a very yummy man yesterday...He is visiting for a month and is willing to work with my wierd ass schedule so I am keeping my fingers crossed. Well better run for now...be well |
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Morning! I feel far too chipper for the morning...well thats what my co workers keep telling me...and they did not see me 2 hours a go...grin. Love where I am at right now even if some people in my life are trying to be difficult. Sir helps keep me focused on the long term goals, not the short term irritations. So that very vanilla ex of mine is not near so vanilla as He thought, gawd I love introducing people to the dark side!!!!!!!!!!!!! .... Had an awesome time this weekend as well and made great progress with a couple that has been dancing around with me for about a year now....YUM! be well all |
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Awesomely busy times.... . If old friends make the world go round, then I never want to quit making new ones... .
I have found myself to be in a trying place of late as Sir's schedule and mine have not aligned and so we have not really communicated for a few weeks but briefly. It is difficult to remain focused and follow through on directives given sometimes when you think no one is there to notice. Yet to do nothing is even harder, it leaves me feeling disobedient, unfocused, out of sorts... . So I have pressed onward keeping notes on what IS occurring so that when He asks...I will not only be able to tell Him what I did but what I thought and felt. Long distance sucks, but to be unable to serve...sucks more.
be well all |
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Busy week, more later...life is good! |
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So...it never ceases to amaze this girl how intolerant people in this lifestyle can be some times. For all the words of support that she receives there is always someone incapable of deeper understanding. Here is an example of one such individual...
Hmmm, it seems your Master is a married man and he is making you into a common whore. A true Master values his slave and keeps her safe and is jealous of her sexual desires, for his cock should be the only cock, his slave serves. It is surprising how so many women accept a married Master and turn into such whores, than when their Master tires of them, they are left alone and so they continue being whore's, for that is the only thing they know.
This one did try to politely reply to this individual
but he insists that he is correct...to each his own...but one should really try to not belittle what they do not understand. If it is not their cup of tea then fine so be it. If this brand of submission or surrender is beyond them or they are beyond it, then so be it. Please do not speak ill of her Master, He is her ALL, she trusts Him.
have a great holiday all
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Yay...the weekend is here. Hope to find some mischief close to home. Wonder what I can talk my friends into...grin. I have 2 birthday parties to go to this weekend perhaps we can stir up trouble there, I mean that in the best possible way of course. Thats what friends are for. |
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Morning, had an very busy weekend and Sir instrusted this one to update her journal. Friday night was my birthday dinner, it was very nice had a few friends and had some nice after dinner fun with a particular person....grin. Sir is very sexually non possessive of this girl but is VERY demanding of her health, welfare and sexual safety...sometimes figuring out how to do as He directs can be VERY challenging.
Saturday evening brought this girl to a party with some friends where she experienced a variety of play(yummy). As Sir instructed her...she made sure to "properly" show her THANKS to the people who had scened with her that night. After the party she found herself in a nice large hotel suite for some after party fun...in her case after party gratitude.
These two men worked with great harmony putting this whore through her paces for a few hours...which btw is a request that Sir made of her the day before. Once back to her lodgings the host decided to sample her again and well suffice it to say very little sleep was had by her.
Sunday was more relaxed by far and this slut was able to speak with Sir and inform Him of her successes on His behalf it also included a late night coffee by many of those whe were at her party celebration for a "highlights of the weekend" sharing. To be finished off with some late night fun with an ex...in the manner that Sir directed.
All in all..this weekend went well as Sir intended. Maybe today she can get some sleep...lol.
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Yay, I spoke to Sir last night for a long time...sigh. Life just seems smoother when that happens. I told Him about what was going on for me this week and He approved with a minor adjustment...be a little more whorish...giggle...gee, i guess i will have to work on that! Thank god today is Friday, i am so ready for the weekend. Now to see if i can figure out that confusing man who keeps popping in and out of my life.... |
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Rain sucks....wish my life would smooth out! Really missed Sir this weekend!! It's my birthday this week...maybe someone will give me birthday spankings...evil grin.!!!! Did I mention that rain sucks?? |
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Patience is a virtue, now will someone hurry up and get it for this girl!!! Well her vanilla man got a bit over zealous this week and we are both paying the price for it...live and learn. Sir has a great perspective and helps keep this one focused...He is so calming for her. He simply IS, and that is probably how He snuck under her radar...giggle. Insidious...simply Insidious. |
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Sir is a wise man...and this girl is learning that she just needs to trust Him when He is offering her counsel. He has a way of seeing through things clear to the other side and understanding the possibilities of a situation. He is currently directing her as to how to bring around a rather vanilla man in her life, she thought it an impossible task, grin, however ...it seems that it is not nearly so impossible as she thought! This past weekend brought some delightful unexpected surprises and she hopes to recreate them at some point in the future. Learning to let go...even a small bit is this ones struggle, with Sir it is natural with others...it is difficult to trust sometimes...with the right strength of character and confidence it tends to sneak up on her...lol. Be well all |
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It has become aparrent to me that this girls subconscious mind is often running ahead of her conscious mind. She know this to be the case otherwise she would not simply be happily speaking to Sir and spit out something that has no real place in the conversation at hand yet gives Him information to dig around in her mind for at a later date...grin. Of course, He hears it quite clearly...could not have a bad connection at that moment...lol. He also has a knack for causing His slut to see reason where she has no desire to see it. We were discussing how this one seems to have Him on a bit of a pedestal...to which she commented yes she did and she thinks that is how it should be.... |
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Well though He spoke of her being under consideration for longer, He has found her worthy. In finding her worthy He has allowed her to bear His mark, thank You Sir. There is still much to learn and she is sure that difficult times will still come but she also knows that with His voice in her mind she will survive and grow.
She is still in need of friends and perhaps more as well. Guidance, wisdom humor...please share with this girl. |
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Recently i became aware that Sir has the ability to render me speechless at any time... . He is so good to His girl, though she sometimes feels like what she needs is a good switching for some of her thoughts. He simply derails her and then places her gently back on the track again going the direction He wants her going. Live and learn. |
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Recently i asked these questions in an email...if anyone care to throw some answers my way...i would appreciate it.
Why do we keep telling You things when we feel like we shouldn't?
Where does one run when all places go to You?
How do we hide when the reflections are all of You?
How do we save ourselves...remain ourselves...be ourselves.....?
How is it we lose ourselves....? |
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Man has my week been hell..like a night time drama,grin. Well at least Sir has been wonderfully concerned and understanding with this one. Thank You Sir. This one is going to make it...no matter who harasses her.
So surrender, what IS surrender? Sometimes this girl thinks she knows...and then again she is sometimes not sure. Often Sir will refer to her surrender and she thinks that was not difficult...it was like breathing. Then there are times when fear grips her heart, or other body part.
So this girl is very interested in knowing what others think about this. |
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| Evening, winding up a busy week and feeling good about it. Work was ok, hobby was fantastic, and well Sir is as usual...uncannily in tune with this one, sigh. It never ceases to amaze this girl how He can read so much into a sigh or even a silence. He is so very understated sometimes and yet the force of His desires are so strong at these times...it is as if He was actually IN this sluts mind. Have an enjoyable weekend ya'll. | |
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