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im glad ive found this place. ive read the boards and ive posted, yay! - i just want to understand what being a submissive really means. i realise ive always been this way but its only because of Ben that im begining to feel like i really make sense to me.
so now its time to stop worrying about being weird and having all those fantasies is ok and when he spanks me i dont need to feel awkward or embarrassed about it.
i want us to do more bondage and he said the other day that he was going to tie me to the bed on saturday and do whatever comes into his head. eek! - cant wait.
funny thing is i dont feel wierd about being tied up - its only when he spanks me over his knee that i feel kinda stupid for being there, like i should put up a fight or something, maybe it has connections with being a kid and its not what adults should be doing to each other (somehow). i dont know. instead i just kind of freeze up and its only when it starts to really hurt that i begin to react. not sure how im supposed to react really.
anyway, im going to use this place to offload my thoughts and feelings and i wont tell him about this place either so i can just blurb it out and not worry he might read it. |
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