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(update 5/14/2010)
In the past i have popped in from time to time. Only stopping to say hello to long life friends.I find that this time my soul will not allow me to lock it back in the box i have closed myself in for the past years. This places me in a familiar place but one that has grown. I find i am discovering new things about myself and learning where my place me be now.Thank you for all the hello's and inquires on what i am seeking at this time. I can honestly say i do not know. What i do know is that, I am taking this time to learn about me and make new friends and see how this world has grown around me. Till we say hello. I hope you have had days with many smiles and much laughter waiting at every turn.
(update 3/28/2011)
In the last year i have come to understand that this way of life is very much apart of who i am. It is the part that makes one feel alive where they reach the place of completeness. One i have sought to obtain again over and over in life. But i have also come to understand that certain responsibilities placed upon me in life wil not allow me to live true to my soul as i long too. This is not the first time i have lived and learned this lesson in life. Nor wil it be the last, For i will always reach for what makes me happy and complete. In the last few months i have learned that i will never be able to live a life of complete happiness as i once did. I came very close. But close does not count.
This leaves me in a place of uncertainty. On one hand, i have come to understand that i will day dream of days long past, cherish the thoughts with a smile. Till I reach a time in my life that allows me to be true to the way i wish to live. i have come to understand that i can no longer lock up this side of my soul. The desire to Serve to find one who will teach, mold me into the slave i was meant to be in all ways.In the years past i hid from this side. Over the last year i have out of my shell so to say. I have reconnected with wonderful people of my past. As well as making new friends on many different levels i hope to keep for a long time. One the other hand. I am left with a hunger, desire, need to control and feed. I find myself in a place much like a character in one of my favorite movies of all times finds herself. She has been brought from where she was and is left in a place to move forward but not sure in which direction or manner to move forward in that is in her best interest. For now i will walk softly with those i know and am safe with. Make new friends and hope to bring smiles to those i met.
My interest are Many, as well as Diverse, but what brings a true smile to my soul is Serving. I Know, Understand and Believe in Respect, Trust and Honor. I have a great desire to finish my Education, In both Book and Life. I have learned that, There are those Dominant, submissive in their nature, Both go hand in hand. A submissive nature is only happy&complete when a Dominant nature watches over her so she may live her life as his slave. A Dominant nature is Pleased when she is totally his. Not an occupation but a Quest. ~ To find the Right one to be Loyal, as well as, Devoted to for Always.~ I have walked this path in life for close to 20 years. With in my time in this life, I have wore one ring and two collars. What I seek, last one. He is a man of Dominant Nature, Knows of Integrity and Manifest power. He understands that to control, mentor someone else. He first must Master himself. While I am not a weak person and very much in control of who I am. I seek one to follow and learn from. To help me finish growing into the lady I was meant to be. What I understand of myself: I understand and except that I have the soul of a slave. It is my true nature,I long for no other way. I do long for the right one, The last one to belong to for always. My training comes in the forms of: Geisha, Valet De Chambre. A person having many diverse responsibilities and activities. A personal servant to gentlemen , ladies.
Thank you for your time,
Helene, Please read below.I have posted a story or two in my journal =)
P.S. I am not looking for couples, Thank you anyway.
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A fictional story wrote many years ago. please enjoy =)
The house of Punishment
Shelley sat in the stark waiting room straining to hear Peter's voice behind the closed door. Muffled sounds floated into the room but nothing she could make out. This place that he had threatened her with was nothing like she imagined. Hell, she did not figure it really existed in the first place and was not now convinced this was real. A house of punishment, run by a dungeon Master who would "correct" her behavior......
She shrugged and shifted in her seat. She was wearing a thin white cotton dress Peter had brought for her to wear today. There was nothing under it but her skin. She paced the room and looked through the small high window. The house by the sea seemed relatively deserted. She could not imagine what was being discussed since this was just a scare tactic anyway. She wasn't really a bad sub but after several years had passed she had fallen into a thought of knowing what Peter might or might not allow, tolerate or punish her for and she took it to the line or over, every time. Peter had said "enough!" last night and had brought her here today as he had threatened so many times to do.
The door that Peter had passed through when he left her here finally opened. Peter came into the room along with an attractive, pleasant looking man and a woman who was totally naked except for a wide leather collar about her neck. she had one just like it in her hand.
"So, this is your bad girl, Peter....she does not look like she wants to be a bad girl..."
The man was not as tall as Peter but very muscular. He had sandy colored hair and very, very green eyes that seem to sparkle when he looked at Shelley. He circled her slowly and she coyly followed his movements with her eyes and a slow turn of her body. "Yes, I see the attitude you speak of....not exactly what we want, is it?"
"Nope....she is complacent in her service and lazy. Sometimes defiant and rather too opinionated all in all. This is unacceptable to me and she knows it yet she continues to try my patience. Either she comes to learn who is Master and who controls her or she can simply stay here in the compound."
"Peter!!!" Shelley raged. "I want to go....this is crazy. I have no intention of being 'left here' nor is my behavior 'unacceptable'. You know we are happy and you get the best from me....and that is plenty in my book..."
"Oh, do indulge me, my pet." Peter said sarcastically. "Besides, I would never want to break a promise to you and I have been promising you this experience for a long, long time..."
"Now, now....let's take this down a level" the other man said. "Shelley, we are here to help you. My name is Adam and this is my home. My companion here is named Lilith and she will help you also. Let's go take a walk by the ocean and see the gardens and there we can come to some conclusions."
Shelley felt sure now that this was just another tactic, regardless of Lilith's appearance, to "scare" her into line. She decided just to go along with the game.
"Lilith has brought a collar for you to use here since Peter tells me you did not bring one with you. Let me put this on you.....we know you wear one at home and I would have you feel as if this is home.... for the duration of your visit."
He took the collar from Lilith and placed it on her neck, fastening it in the front, rather than the back. Lilith strained her neck a bit....the collar was wider than anything she had worn and it almost stretched her neck. As they left the room to journey toward the beach, Peter walked behind her and quickly fastened a leash to the back of the collar. Shelley looked at him over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. Peter smiled to himself, darkly.
Shelley led the way, behind Adam, with Peter and Lilith following behind her. She chatted away about the beauty of the day and the gardens and her love of the ocean. "Even sand?" said Adam. Do you even like the sand? Many people don't, you know..."
"hmmm...no, not really. A shower removes it quickly so I don't mind it at all." Was that a snicker she heard from Lilith?
As they reached the beach there were many structures there....bondage structures of many varieties. She walked over to one that was a simple inverted "U" structure. Peter came up behind her, clasped his hands on each of her arms and kissed her neck. She groaned and leaned back to him as he whispered into her ear, "Learn from this day, pet....and learn well...."
Before Shelley could react to his words Adam had her wrists in his clutches and Peter was fastening cuffs on her that seemingly appeared from nowhere. She struggled a bit but all happened so quickly, she was soon attached to the beam that loomed over her head. She decided to be tough....they expected her to scream and struggle and she simply would not give them the satisfaction of that. Peter seated himself on a bench in front of her while Adam opened a wooden box that was amongst the structures on the beach. She strained to see what was there but all she could make out was a mish mosh of dark leather appearing items. She was not going to be concerned....not yet. Peter walked in front of her carrying a leather flogger.
"Lilith, you know, I should have asked you to help Shelley undress before we put her in this predicament."
"Yes, Master....I should have mentioned that...".
Adam spun on her and lashed her so severely with the flogger that she fell to the sand. Shelley was stunned. Lilith stayed where she had been downed by his blow, her head bowed. Shelley could see the red welts rising on her body across her torso. She looked at Adam who did not seem so pleasant now, and gulped. Adam began flogging Shelley over her clothes and the clothes began to shred he struck her so hard. Shelley jumped and tried to dodge the incessant lashing of the flogger. Her skin heated fast and the thin cotton garment began to hang on her in strings. Adam was relentless in his motions and Shelley began to know that she would not be able to be so blase about this thrashing. Her eyes darted pleading to Peter who seemed to have the same cold, dark expression that Adam wore. She knew there was no way out of the inevitable and her mind spun at the prospect of what might happen. The intense flogging continued until there was not a single thread left on her body. She felt the rawness of her skin and squirmed in hopes the pain would abate soon. Lilith arose and brought another leash and another pair of cuffs. Shelley's ankles were enclosed in the new set and as her hands were removed from the cuffs they were hooked together on the new leash. The leash on her collar hung behind her. Lilith then kneeled and fastened a length of chain between Shelley's ankles that would limit her pace as she walked. Adam took the leash for her hands and pulled her down to the ocean. Shelley could not keep up with the pace and stumbled in the soft wet sand, falling where the tide washed up to the shore.
"Go further in and wet yourself with the sea water..." Peter said sternly to her.
Shelley hesitated only a moment before standing and walking further into the water. The salt water stung her skin and she jumped back. With her ankles still bound, this movement was not accomplished without her falling in the water. She struggled to come to her feet again and felt a tug on the leash pulling her out of the water. She followed as best she could with Adam and Peter in front of her talking casually about Peter's new boat. She tried hard to keep up but kept falling in the sand. The always stopped and allowed her time to stand again but their pace made it hard to keep from repeating the act. By the time they reached the house, she was covered in sand.
The lower terrace opened into a tiled room by the beach that looked out over the horizon. The room was indeed a dungeon with many ominous devices about the room and walls covered with whips and various instruments designed to inflict pain. Peter unhooked the leash from her hands and Adam quickly pulled her arms behind her. With a short length of rope, her hands were bound behind her to the opposite elbow so that her arms were tight against her body and parallel to the floor at her waist. The sand on her body grated beneath the cuffs and against her arm in a most uncomfortable manner. She was propelled to the center of the room where a single rope was hanging from the ceiling. The leash attached to her collar was attached to the clamp on the rope and only if she stood very straight in this one spot did the pull on the collar not choke her a bit.
Shelley began to tremble. "Peter...." she said softly, pleading. Peter looked at her for a moment and then shook his head as if to say "I told you this would happen..." and seated himself in front of her again in a chair that Lilith had pulled from the side of the room to this spot. Adam appeared in front of her and this time he had on surgeons gloves. He began to rub his hands over her body which normally would have been pleasurable but with her recently flogged skin covered with sand, this was was most unpleasant. She squirmed away from him but found that if she moved much, she would truly choke herself so she had to stand still and endure his "caresses". He rubbed and alternated with harsh, brisk slaps. If there were spots where welts had risen from the flogging he lingered there longer, rubbing the sand harder and spanking the skin there more firmly. He quickened the pace and the intensity of the spanking and moved on to slap her breasts and then her face. The sand stung as did the residual salt. For a moment she began to fall into the rhythm of the pain, feel her pussy begin to contract but just as that began Adam changed to a leather paddle and began to strike her with the paddle and and pinch and press the sand to her with the other hand. Shelley began to shriek from the pain and this spurred Adam on to more intense levels of squeezing her skin, roughly dragging his gloved hand over her and the ever quickening pace of the paddle on her bottom. Lilith handed him another flogger and took the paddle from him so that not a stroke was missed. He began flogging her all over her body, top to bottom and the redness deepened in her skin color. Shelley was shaking all over and literally yelping from the pain. Her eyes were closed as she tried to transmute the intensity of this when she felt a gag go across her mouth and a small round ball was pressed to her now open mouth. She shook her head and struggled against this but soon found Adam's hand landing full across her cheek, first one side, then the other and then repeated until her face smarted and stung like the rest of her body. Now his hands were on her again, rubbing the sand and salt on the fresh welts and replacing the flogging with a stiff thin crop. All across her breasts the marks landed full and firm. She tried to scream against the gag but the sounds were much too muffled to be a satisfying release of the pain. She struggled from side to side but her limited mobility kept the pain amplified on her weakening body. The crop played up and down her legs now making her dance and kick her legs in the limited motion she could manage. Peter rose from the chair and Shelley looked at him, pleading with him to rescue her but Peter went to the wall and took a sleek white horsehair whip down from the wall. As Adam continued to use the crop on her breasts and the front of her thighs, Peter circled behind her and began the exquisite stinging of the horsehair against her red, agonized skin. Shelley began to drop her weight against the collar, needing some support from the intensity of the two men whipping and torturing her body. She could not stand the tightness on her neck so she alternated pulling against the collar with standing up full and straight as the incessant blows found targets all over her body.
Then, it all stopped. Tears streamed down Shelley's face. Peter sat again in the chair in front of her. She could see by the bulge in the front of his pants that he had a strong erection. He lowered his hands to his zipper and removed his very hard cock as Adam released Shelley from the overhead rope and pushed her to Peter. Shelley fell to her knees in front of him as Lilith released her hands from behind her back. She fell forward and Peter watched as Adam pulled a garden hose over to her and began to rinse the sand from her body. Shelley jumped from the feeling of the cold water but dared not move away. Lilith moved under the flow of water with her and pulled at her hands and arms to allow the water to cover her and rinse what sand was left after the whippings from her body. Shelley continued to whimper as the water stopped. She raised her eyes a little to see Peter stroking his excited cock. "Crawl to me, .....NOW.." As Shelley began to crawl, trembling, to Peter, she heard a sound that she could not imagine to hear now....a whippy sound....the sound of molecules separating in the air....the sound of a cane. She murmured loudly against the gag and Peter reached up and removed it. "Did you have a complaint???" She shook her head and Peter grabbed her hair on either side of her head and lowered her mouth onto his cock. Just as she felt him penetrate her mouth, she felt also the first strike of the cane on her back. The next fell across her painfully thrashed bottom. She arched her head back and Peter pulled her onto him again. "This only stops when you have pleased me...." Shelley was mad from the pain but took her hand and guided her Master's cock back into her mouth and began to suck him and stroke him. She had never known Peter to be this rock hard, this stimulated. The cane struck her again and she could barely concentrate on pleasing Peter but she must. The air was assaulted again with the sound of the cane landing on her again and again as she sucked harder, stroked more firmly and gave Peter the release he demanded. When he came hard and plentifully into her thankful mouth, Adam ceased his strikes to her. He held his hand out to Lilith and they left Shelley and Peter alone. Shelley collapsed into her Master's arms saying over and over "I'm so sorry...so very sorry...."
"Shhhh.....calm down. I am here and as long as you are obedient, compliant, and understand who truly owns you.....you will be safe from this place ever more...." Peter pulled her shaking body close to him and then reached between her legs to feel the wetness of her desire. Satisfied that part of this had still given something to Shelley that she wanted and needed, he held her still closer and kissed her gently.
Helene 1997
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I Dare to Wonder......
Greetings, I hope this find you with in a day of smiles and laughter.
Thank you for finding the interest in me to read this. The most common question asked to me is, helene what is it you seek?
The answer has not changed over the years. I still seek One to believe in, Trust blindly. To have the understanding I am cared for, looked after, loved with in my own rights and with in his ways. To know the security of a relationship that grows daily with every word and touch. To know that those in my life, aka, children will be looked upon with a smile and be allowed to find a place with in ones heart. To find One who understands the wisdom of life. Knows that every day will bring new challenges to look upon with smiles and laughter. To find the right one to be loyal and devoted to for always, till the end of my time.
The list goes on.....
I seek the same thing so many others seek. So, I have to ask, Why is it so had to find someone? Are we that judgement within our thoughts as we get to know someone. That all we can see are one's imperfections. May I ask, When did we all become so perfect?
I am no where close to perfect. All I can do is wake each morning to be the best person I can be. With in my choices of life. I chose to be honest with all. I have learned that there is no place for Dishonesty. That is all i except of my mate. In truth, Life is black and white when you take away all the colors(drama) we Chose to add each day.
Yes, we all have our ideal of the perfect person, But, if that ideal was working for us we would not be seeking to fill the emptiness we feel and know. So then the question to be answered is: What do i find attractive in a male?
PHYSICALY: He is a tall man, Over 6 foot tall. Weight varys
Nice smile and Eyes that speak without words. His touch is Strong,Commanding,yet sensitive and caring.
Caucasian between the ages of 40- 50. MENTALLY: He is wise on many levels. A man of Dominant Nature, Knows of Integrity and Manifest power. He understands that to control, mentor someone else. He first must Master himself. He will know i am not a weak person but,He will find enjoyment in molding me, knowing that i am in need of a strong hand to show me guidance and understanding as i learn to rub the rough edges He see's into a soft and smooth surface. He has a open mind and enjoys using it. Each thought is a door waiting to be open. Question is where with the path lead you after you open the door and Chose take the first step. He understands that respect maybe given, but we All have to earn the right to keep the it. He seeks a submissive nature in his mate.One he can nurture, use and watch grow to it fullest.
He gives as much as he takes.
He enjoys giving a good mind F----
The list could go on.
I was raised with the belief, understanding that the man is the house leaded.
He is to provide for those in his care. It is the females place to follow. You could call it a 50's household. Or the country way. Truth is, It is the oldest and truest forms of a relationship known to man. It is spoke of in the bible.
History shows us over and over again threw out time, the balance archived when both sides work as one.
( I understand why females burned their bra's...Just do not understand how they did not see they had the most important job there is.... Taking care of a Family and the guidance of children. I think they messed up my life.....LOL>>>) I have learned that, There are those Dominant, submissive in their nature, Both go hand in hand. A submissive nature is only happy&complete when a Dominant nature watches over her so she may live her life as his. A Dominant nature is Pleased when she is totally his.
I seek this person to give myself to totally and in all ways.
I have made mistakes to this point in my life and i will make many more i am sure. But i have and always will learn the lesson to be learned.
One lesson in life has taught me to be rue to my nature. All i need to do is find the right one to allow this.
I will answer all questions ask to me with the hopes that the same information will be given in return. Thus allowing open, honest conversation. That will allow a trust to be formed.
There must be chemistry. This is a key element in desire, lust and sexuality.
A little about me:
Single , white female, 45. Hazel eyes. Auburn hair. Mother of three.
Youngest child at home 17, male. Raising/Custody of Grandchild, female 4. Both in school full time.
Works full time and that is not enough most the time.
I do not go to bars to just go to bars. You could say i have a family based personality. A true Cancer.
I wrote something a while back i wish to share. I hope you enjoy
It is called:These are a Few of my Favorite things.
Before the stranger ask a small task of her, he tells her to get his attention with the answer. Then question is placed to her. It is a question of her like's. This is a question that has no range and many different paths.
Just as her answer will have. She has told him something of her self. Enough that he wishes to know more. She is a free sprit. One that has an honest soul that sees good in all things. She has learned that while this is a good thing, it can also be a bad thing, but it is something that she likes about herself. It gives her the ability to see the differences in a subject or person. She sees herself as interchangeable. While she is very much a lady, one that carries her self with dignity, pride as well as elegance. She is his arm candy and is his most prized property.
She is always his Lady and when called for his -----.
But the place that brings the biggest smile to her face is the one that she holds dearest, She is his. She is also one that is not afraid to get her hands dirty. She enjoys being close to nature. There are many different things to do in the out doors. Working in a garden. Orchids and African Violets are her favorite to raise. She also likes to take care of the yard. Cooking is a specialty of hers also. She enjoys cooking for one or twenty. To host an evening that brings many smiles is always a good thing. Her time's of mediation come in many different directions as well. Reading, as well as writing allow her to expand her mind and dreams. It gives her the chance look at life threw others. As well as learning about herself at the same moment.
These are a few of my favorite things. =)
I hope this will find its way to the right person whom every he may be. I hope he knows i have been waiting Patiently. |
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The Nearness Of You
It's not the pale moon that excites me That thrills and delights me, oh no It's just the nearness of you
It isn't your sweet conversation That brings this sensation, oh no It's just the nearness of you
When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me All my wildest dreams come true
I need no soft lights to enchant me If you'll only grant me the right To hold you ever so tight And to feel in the night the nearness of you
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THE TIME OF THE BONDING
There is an odd silence in the New Orleans night. I stand at the open shutters of the second floor bedroom in the old house on Poydras Street. The Garden District is usually a quiet neighborhood but tonight, there is not even a feeling of the pre Civil War heritage of the area.
None of the old ghosts are out, just the still, damp November air. In the warm autumn of the south, there is a beginning of coolness stirring in the air. It is after midnight and I have given no thought to sleep. As I stand in the window, toying with a glass of wine, I try to understand the pull...the need...and why it is so strong tonight.
I close my eyes and open my mind to the night. A shudder passes over my body, one of fear, and one of delight. I know now what it is that I must do. There is no reason to journey into the night, no logical one. But I feel a certain beckoning and answering that call is all that matters in this place and time. It is the time of the bonding.
From the closet, I take a long black cape that covers my bedclothes and body all the way to my feet. I pull the hood up in the back as I leave the house. Tall old magnolia trees with their rich dark leaves shelter the grounds as I walk to the end of the sidewalk.
The massive wrought iron gate at the end of the path groans as I release the lock and pass through. As I step into the car, I am surer than ever of my mission, of my destination and of my destiny there. As I drive toward River Road the fear vanishes and an calm settles in my spirit.
That deep compelling pull inside of me makes me wrap my arm across my body as if to control the sensation of it, but I know that is impossible. It is a seed that grows and refuses to be contained. It is a seed that must be fed.
As I come to the edge of the old cemetery, I slow and look for some path or road leading inside. It is so ancient that all the paths seemingly are wide enough only for the horse drawn carts of years gone by. I pull off of the road, in front of a likely pathway and leave the car and all semblance of safety behind. I have no fear in this place. You are in this place and the beckoning is louder, so loud and clearly audible to me that I am amazed there is not another audience for its sound. The live oak trees stand silent with Spanish moss trailing in the breeze coming from the Mississippi. They avert their eyes as I pass knowing of the dark ritual I am pursuing.
In the center of the cemetery amid the above ground burial vaults that inhabit this sacred place, there is an old stone cross surrounded by a large area of soft grass. To the left of the cross, there is an old sundial.
To the right,a small statue of an angel. I shiver in anticipation, my eyes darting around, taking in as much of this visual array as I dare. In front of the cross and across the weathered path is a larger stone tomb intricately carved with the memories and tributes to a life long that has been forgotten.
I sense your presence strongly now. You are very close. "Master....?" I can barely bring words to my lips. A stirring of the leaves as the wind picks up heralds your arrival from the depth of the shadows behind the old tomb. "Here slave, come to me now." You emerge into my view wearing crisp black linen slacks and a soft collarless black shirt. You are so tall and so very handsome. I run to you and as the clouds part to reveal the moon in its full glory, light splitting through the moss covered tree limbs, illuminating this most private scene, I fall to my knees before you, head bowed reverently, my arms open to you; as open as my body and soul are to your wishes and commands. As you extend your hand to the hood of the cape covering my hair, you stop to caress my cheek before pushing the cover from my head. I am flush with the pleasure of this mystical night. You allow me to kiss this hand, each finger separately finding its way to my mouth. I shiver once again. "Give me your hands, slave." I reach my hands out to you and you pull me to my feet and into your arms and an embracing passion matched only by the force of will of your lips against mine. As your tongue enters my mouth and I taste this part of you, I slip into your trance once again. I know my will has left me and that I belong to you.
I stand before you now. You take the ribbons that tie the long black cape around me and release them, allowing the cape to fall to the mossy earth. I am in a gauzy white gown with long trailing sleeves and a wispy skirt. You grab the front as if to tear this frail fabric from my body and I gasp at your force of action. But you only use this to pull me to your lips again and kiss me long and deeply. My hand falls into yours as you lead me full into the moonlight to the front of the old stone cross. I notice now that there are ropes hanging from each end of the cross. There are metal rings imbedded in small circles of stone surrounding the cross that must have been used to tether horses in days past. Now, I know, they will tether me. The ropes are quickly secured to my ankles, spreading my legs under the sheer white gown. My arms are then pulled tightly to the ropes on the sides of the cross and I press my cheek against the stone. The cold feels soothing to my skin since the fever rising in me is so intense in this time of wanting. Your hands explore my body, running over all parts of it as the true and sole owner of a slave. I moan softly with the wonder of the way your touch electrifies me. "You need this, don't you, slave?" "Yes, Master..." I say softly. "And you belong to me in all ways, do you not, slave?" I can't bare the sound of the words, the sound of the truth....it is too overwhelming to hear it here, in this place of all my fantasies. "Answer me, slave. I wish to hear you say it". I reach as deeply in my soul as I know how, to find the strength to verbalize this wonder back to you. "........Yes, Master. In any way a woman can be owned, I am owned by you."
You step back from me and intone, "slave, I am going to whip you now, you do know that." I am not sure I can stand any longer but I nod my understanding, close my eyes and begin that fall, that descent into a place that will bring us both such pleasure. I feel the first wash of the flogger over my body, then the second. The third is harder and it strikes my shoulders and rends the dress.
It is the first of many such blows that begin slowly to remove the presence of the cloth from my body thereby allowing the flogger to find soft, vulnerable skin. The gown now blows in soft ribbons in the night breeze. The whiteness of the ribbons is in stark contrast to my reddening skin. I throw my head back in exultation and feel the breeze lift my hair as I rise in the ecstasy. The flogging stops. I am dreamy eyed with the warmth of the strikes on my body. A warm ball of light has built in my stomach. It will build and expand as subsequent strikes land. But now I hear a new sound a swishing seductive noise that tears the night air. The first point struck on my now bare bottom sends a searing burn into my flesh. I can feel the welt rising on my skin. The next strokes are peppery and of varying intensity up and down my thighs and calves. I struggle so to move but stay bound in place by the unforgiving ropes. As I hear the cane swish through the air once more I know this next strike will be the most severe. As it lands on my body, the warm ball in my stomach ignites and shoots to the very ends of my fingertips. I feel a sharp toned cry come from within me but there is no one here but us to hear my pleas. Another comes and then another and just when I think I will surely become mad with the pain, it ceases. You are behind me now. Your shirt is removed and you press your chest against my back as you reach to my breasts and pull me hard against you. Grabbing my hair, you pull my head to the side and to your lips again. I am totally woman now. I am totally slave.
You release my trembling body from the restraints of the cross and lead me to my cape, which is sprawling before us on the grass. I kneel before you and unfasten your pants, feeling the hardness of your erect cock pressing against the fabric. Once undressed, you hold my head in your hands and guide my mouth onto you so that I can feel your maleness growing ever harder pushing deeper into my waiting mouth. I love this taste of you and minister to you as I would care for some sacred thing for all of this has become my place of worship. You pull back from me and I bow my head again as you lean in front of me and press me back onto the cape. I see you tower over me as you spread my legs in search of my sex. I am hot and wet from the glow given to me by the whipping. You rub your hand in that wet place and then to my mouth to show me how wanton I am from your treatment of me. I blush with the knowledge of how I love this so and turn my head away as you take me, fully, quickly and deeply. We both groan from the pleasure of this feeling and for a time, the individual paths we walk become as one in erotic.symphony with the stars. You take your pleasure from me and give me such joy I have not known as I hear you softly groan with the release of hot essence deep inside of me. I feel the weight of your body on mine and know that in this time and place, I am well cared for and very safe. As you lay beside me and hold me in your arms, I feel the bond seal between us once again. The glory of the moon celebrates this sensual bonding. "Master..." "Yes, slave," " Thank you...."
As the clouds draw over the moon to give some privacy on this night, you begin to kiss me again and start a new ritual of bonding your slave to your will.
h 1996 |
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Before the stranger ask a small task of her, he tells her to get his attention with the answer.
Then question is placed to her. It is a question of her like's. This is a question that has no range and many different paths.
Just as her answer will have.
She has told him something of her self. Enough that he wishes to know more.
She is a free sprit. One that has an honest soul that sees good in all things. She has learned that while this is a good thing, it can also be a bad thing, but it is something that she likes about herself. It gives her the ability to see the differences in a subject or person.
She sees herself as interchangeable. While she is very much a lady, one that carries her self with dignity as well as elegance. She is his arm candy and is his most prized property. She is his Lady when called for and always his Whore. But the place that brings the biggest smile to her face is the one that she holds dearest, She is his Slave.
She is also one that is not afraid to get her hands dirty. She enjoys being close to nature. There are many different things to do in the out doors. Fishing, she can bait her own hook. Boating, Sunning in the nude.
Camping, being tied in the out doors to be used and spanked.
Walking around her the house naked as she cleans and tends to the house hold chores.
Cooking is a specialty of hers also. She enjoys cooking for one or twenty. To host an evening that brings many smiles is always a good thing.
Her time's of mediation come in many different directions as well.
Reading, as well as writing allow her to expand her mind and dreams. It gives her the chance look at life threw others. As well as learning about herself at the same moment.
Playing in her garden. Orchids and African Violets are her favorite to raise. She also likes to take care of the yard.
To nurture something that brings such peace as well as beauty can only be a good thing.
These are a few of my favorite things.
=)
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Thought of the day: Have you every wondered how is it that we meet so many people and on some levle we will connect with a handfull. Out of that handfull, we make one or two lasting friends. But what if we had taken the time to get to know the whole handfull. Just think, of how many doors would have opened.
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As I sit and have my morning coffee.
I wonder what today will hold for me. Will it hold smiles and laughter or tears of hurt?
No one knows not even me.
But as the day grows so does my hope. The hope that day dreams do come true.
Over the years I have seen this way of life called a lifestyle.
I have seen the truest form of trust and respect put to many challenges as today’s world brings it many new doors and paths to take.
But, Every now and then I read a profile that allows me to think and wonder. What could be? And is it possible, That day dreams do come true?
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Hello, This is a true story. I used my experience of the day for a creative writing class I was in. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, I received an A+ for the story. =)
My trip to A Sports Outlet ....
I awoke on a Saturday morning and as I set about my day. I had a very important task set for this day. I am to go to the sports store and buy a “Ping Pong Paddle " One that is to be used on my Bottom as Eye am told.... It is to be one of my liking....smooth and firm. Oh how this thought teases my mind. Plays with my emotions on a strong leave.
For it is not only going to buy the paddle that has me wet.It is most surely they way I will do it. One of a teasing manner. To toy with someone’s mind. To see desire in there eyes as Eye have mine.
So I go to my closet ...what to wear. Something that will fit what is to be. A skirt....mm yes that will do.
One that is fitting of a little girl. I chose a jean tennis skirt, white tennis shoes and a thin white tee shirt. I leave my hair to hang down my back.
As I look to see my reflection in the mirror, it brings a smile to my face. I have achieved the look that I had hoped to.
One that will tease and help me with my task.
While Eye drive across town to the sports store. Eye go over and over what is to be. How Eye will do what is set for me. The closer that Eye get to the store the more my mind races......what if this ..what if that .....Eye play out every seen I can think of.
When Eye pull into the parking lot. My heart starts to race. There is a feeling of exciment that is stirring deep inside . One that is bringing a moistness with it.
As Eye walk to the doors Eye can feel my sex start to get wetter. It is a nice feeling,one that adds to the mood. As Eye walk to the part of the store that has set forth this task of mine. Eye can feel the wetness on my shaved pussy. So slipper and wet as it slides down my thighs as Eye walk.
Eye now need to find the key factor in this task. The one that Eye seek to Toy with, play with his thoughts. As Eye have toyed and played with mine.
There he is. A young man of his late 20's. One that has a boyish face to him. Eye go up to him and say " Sir can you help me . Eye need to find and by the right Ping Pong Paddle " .
He looks at me and says to follow him Please..mmmm What a sweet feeling this is deep inside me. Awakening to met the task that is to be...
When we reach the object that has brought me threw these steps at this place. This place of desire, need, lust and most of all pleasure. Pleasure to the one that Eye may serve. For it is his will that Eye follow now, and will be his gift to me. Pleasure...
Eye look at the man and ask some questions as Eye look at the paddles. My mind races.......One of these Eye will chose . So that Eye can feel it used on my bottom. Eye am told this..
As Eye rub them , It is hard to feel the texture. Eye pick out two that Eye wish to take a closer. Eye look them over very good. Eye have made my choice. Eye look over to the man and ask If he will mind if Eye take it out of the package Eye need to feel its texture. To fill it rubbed on my skin. He says that they do not allow that, and Eye insure him that I will buy it. As Eye am taking it out of its package. He starts to say something ...but stops as Eye rub it on my check. Eye just look at him and say .....Yes you where saying ....Eye do not take my eyes from his as a smile comes to me face . For Eye am at the end of my sweet task. One that has me wet and full of desire.
Still looking deep in to his eyes Eye rub it so that the skirt comes up on my bottom and with that moment Eye bring it up to place.
A smack on my bottom. One that send a sound threw the store.
With a smile of conquest on my face. Eye turn to him and say that this will do . For Eye am sure of this...
helene 10/1999
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Hello and Thank you for taking the time to read about me.
I hope that the new year has brought smiles and laughter to all.
As i start the new year. I realize i must clarify some thing. When my training started in 1982 i was allowed to pick one form of service that i found appealing and honorable. i chose Geisha.
I have not practiced that form of art in many years. As life would have it, as the days change so do the paths of knowledge we keep and use.I did not wish to be misleading on this subject.
I do not mean to be misleading on any subject so please ask any question you may have.
Please have a good day. |
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Have You Ever...
Have you ever felt the rush of power that comes when she willingly crawls across your lap to be spanked.........
Have you ever felt her kicking and squirming as you apply the hair brush to her reddening flesh........
Have you ever listened to her beg for mercy, Only to ignore her pleas......
Have you ever fought with the beast ... knowing it was time to stop Yet wanting to hear her crys a little longer .....
Have you ever wondered if she can take one more stroke, And felt the pride when she took ten.....
Have you ever stood over her as she looks at you with tears in her eyes .......
Have you ever felt the Over ~Whelming warmth from knowing that she dose all, so she may please you ......
Helene 3-28-01 |
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As the Journey begins,
Understand that the journey is as important as the destination.
Enjoying every moment, And live life fully.
What happens to you does not matter:
What you become through those experiences is all that is truly Significant.
As we travel this road, We will learn the center is not always the point of Balance.
When we find that place where balance is archived, peace will follow.
For when there is no conflict, Everything rest with out strain.
Allow your actions to come with the truth and innocence of your heart.
Then sincerity is assured.
helene, December 13,2007
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This is something I wrote 3 years ago. I will use this to start my Journal. Question: Helene, tell me about our self. First may I say Thank you for the interest in me to ask this question, About me: I have thought of the answer to this question many times. Each time I am asked this question many things race through my mind....
I am 40 years old and the Mother of three, 2 boys and a girl. My children are very important to me. I live with the knowledge of knowing that they did not ask to come to this world. It was I that bought them here. While I did not do this alone. Over the years I have learned to do the best I could on my own. Their father is not a father to them. It is a word that is used to describe him. I have made many mistakes. Unfourtionaly it was very late in life that I figured out that it was long past time to grow up. I have always known the person I was to be. Just never understood how to get there. Or what was truly needed to become the person that I longed to be. I have learned many things about my self in the last few years. One thing I have learned is that I can not fight what is in my soul. What runs deep with in my body, I have a submissive nature, in the last few years I have learned to bring it into my every day life. To a point that it has helped me to become a much better person. It has made me aware of many things that I once took for granted. I now see the fault in some of my actions. I am now aware of many things I was once blind to. It was not an easy road to come to this understanding, but once understood and accepted, life is good. I would also like to say that I am not a sub. I believe, live with the understanding that I am a slave. There is a difference in the two. A sub still wishes for some form of control. A slave lives with the understanding that the control belongs in someone else's hands and longs for it to be that way. While I am very much in control of who I am. I long for one. One who will know that to truly Mentor someone else he must first be able to Master his self. He is a man that is Dominant in his nature, knows of Integrity, Manifest power. He has a presence to him that few men have.
I have learned that if you live with truth you have the best form of trust. One must respect all that is before them. To respect something, is to Understand, understanding is a form of wisdom. The most important is Honor; One’s honor is the truest gift that one has to give. My interests are many. I am very much an out door person. I enjoy camping, fishing, hiking, biking, reading, writing, dancing, all forms of music, and a few more I am sure. I find comfort in having a garden. I raise Orchids among other types of plants. I find it to be a form of mediation for me. I also enjoy cooking and have been told from time to time that I am very good at it. I enjoy friends, family, doing things with my children in short, I am a very out going and open person. I have a great desire to finish my education in both book and life. What I seek, I long to belong to one and only one. To be lead down the path that I was meant to walk. He will be a wise man. One who understands that the gift I have to give is an honest and rare find. One that is in much need of a strong hand to show her guidance and understanding as she learns how to rub the rough edges to a soft and smooth surface. It is also one that needs to be used to the fullest. I find that I have what some would call a dark side. When I find the one that I will follow with out question. He will know that I am a loyal person. I can honestly say that I will do as asked with out question. I will able to do this because I will have the understanding he will never do anything that would harm me. This knowledge gives me largest form of Trust. I long to be Owned. I wish to know that there is someone that is wise enough to know how to control me. To help me finish growing into the lady I was meant to be. He will understand the need that I have to be a whore. To do His will. To be able to come to him when called for. To be at hand daily, to be used and brought to a place where I will come to know what scares me and strong enough to walk pass it. He will understand that just because I have a submissive nature, does not mean that I am a weak person ... but that I am strong enough to walk the path he will lead me down and do it with great pride. A day dream for me, I do not dream of grand, expensive things ... I just wish to be able to have the ability to do for my kids in the best manner and way possible. To know that I am owned, that I am cared for. That I will be used. I wish to be that prize car that one takes good care of ... that gets polished every day. Used to the best of its ability.
I wish to be an asset, An Investment. Is one way of placing it.
This is what dreams are made of. =)
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Age: 38 |
Woodland Hills,
California |
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