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Hi,
?
i'm not currently actively seeking anything more than friendship, but new friends are always welcome! Mostly i just lurk around the forums and enjoy the discussions. :)
As for me - i'm a transgendered human being and am slowly getting back into the local scene. i enjoy BDSM-parties, munches, hanging out with friends and meeting new people. As i wrote, new friends are always welcome, so don't hesitate to send me a pm if you wish to exchange thoughts or meet new people in the area.?
heidiAnn
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"As the dark water pours down
We grow like wild summer roses
With no sun in sight
No footsteps left behind
All this love built on pain
Still the tears have no name
Wet as rain
I kiss your fears
Tears don't cry
They have no name"
...And Oceans - Tears have no name
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"i know there is no way to avoid
the pain that we must go through
to find the other half that is true"
- C. Schuldiner
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Yesterday i had a semi-bad biking accident which involed me, my bike and the ground. It is always funny what comes into mind when you realize that there will be an accident.
The first thing that came to mine was that "no, not this sweater, i love this sweater. And these jeans, oh no." The second one was how my father taught me as a child on how to act when you realize you are going to fall, and did what he taught.
When the slide on the pebble road was over the first thing came to mind was that as soon as i get up, i will start feeling the pain and i have to see how bad it is. And that my mp3-player still worked, yay. And then i thought about how someone will run over soon all worried and wants to help me up. And i just wanted to lie there for a while.
But, when the young knight came to check on me i (figuratively speaking) made a back flip and jumped up saying "naw, i'm fine, thank you for checking." And then i was up, and pissed that i had to face the fact that i was bleeding and that my nice sweater was ruined.
Why can't people just behave and leave the wounded behind?! :D Seriously, it is nice that people care.:)
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When W/we both have made O/our choices, Your path is mine. |
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Today is the day.
It is time to say goodbye to our father, wish him a good journey to afterlife. Instead of feeling sad, i am a angry little kittie. Meowthing at my mom at every turn, being snappy and just plain bitchy. Wishing to be left alone when it just is not possible. Good thing i am her flesh, she understands and tolerates. She has 24 years more experience of living with our genes and can control her temper much better. i do remember what she was like even 10 years ago and see myself in her.
But, in a few hours i'll most likely just be sad and missing him deeply.
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Teachings of Zerthimon:
- Strength lies in knowing oneself; those who do not know themselves are lost and open to the manipulations of others.
- A willingness to learn is a sign of strength.
- Endure. In enduring, grow strong.
- Learn to see the whole, or be blinded to the truth.
- Many in unison can accomplish more than many alone.
- Seek balance, or lose sight of your goal.
- Patience is a virtue.
- Focus and discipline are the key to strength; diversion is the key to weakness.
- Circle of Zerthimon - forged by the nameless one (Planescape: Torment)
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"I accept and I collect upon my body
The memories of your devotion"
- Antony & the Johnsons
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Jos olisin puu taipuisin ääntäsi vasten
Jos luonto antaisi periksi vaikka murtumispisteeseen asti
Sillä runkoni murros saa vahvempaan liitokseen
kasvaa, voisin murtua uuudelleen ja uudelleen
- Antti Hyyrynen
(poor translation)
If I was a tree, I'd bend toward your voice
If nature allowed, even to the breaking point
Because the fracture in me can grow to a stronger
bind, and I could break again and again
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