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Longwait
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Angelof98
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sissyntraining
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I am Dominant by nature, not by electronic posturing.
"Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints." -Emerson I have only a few personal kinks, but what gets me the most is being able to play with and develop other people's kinks. And I also like getting to know you as a friend. If I can't talk with you, then I'm probably not going to want to play. If you're looking for someone in leather chaps, owns his own 32-point dungeon, or rescues women from unhappy marriages, move along. *Update 5.30.13: I don't check this often. I mostly spend my kinky networking time at FL, user name is the same as here. Or ask around, I'm fairly active in the community.
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With recent conversations and exchanges, I've been revisiting the concept of knowing one's partner.
Knowing in what way? In many ways, yet at the same time, in one way. I'll dissect to address the former, then wrap it up to explain the latter.
Naturally, there is the knowing someone "in the biblical sense". What does that mean? The [url=http://www.yaelf.com/aueFAQ/mifbblclsnstoknow.shtml]alt.usage.english FAQ[/url] says that the origin of this came from the usage of the Hebrew word "yada" in the story about Lot (where the men of Sodom and Gomorrah wanted "to know" the angels that were visiting Lot).
So far, there is a certain physical intimacy involved. But, what else?
Dictionary.com defines the word "know" in a number of interesting ways. "To perceive or understand as fact or truth", "to understand from experience or attainment", not to mention the synonyms: apprehend, fathom, grasp...
There's a lot more to knowing someone than simply sleeping with them, isn't there?
Here is something else to throw into the mix:
"When an active person repeatedly trains movement, often of the same activity, in an effort to stimulate the mind’s adaptation process, the outcome is to induce physiological changes which attain increased levels of accuracy through repetition. Even though the process is really brain-muscle memory or motor memory, the colloquial expression "muscle memory" is commonly used." - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_memory
Ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro, author of "What Every Body Is Saying," wrote this in an article for The Washington Post: "When I am asked what is the most reliable means of determining the health of a relationship, I always say that words don't matter. It's all in the language of the body. The nonverbal behaviors we all transmit tell others, in real time, what we think, what we feel, what we yearn for or what we intend."
So, in a desire to know a partner, or even a potential one, all this seems like a lot to think about, doesn't it? This is where I perceive it to be all-in-one, or automatic. It's a lot of gut instinct, a lot of paying attention, and a lot of time invested in the classic yet oft-desired trait of being "thoughtful". I brought up Musashi's "Book of Five Rings" once in this blog before; again, a great reference as to what I'm talking about.
I won't "play" with anyone unless I know them. And the next one I collar, you can be sure that I won't do so lightly.
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I should add to the previous post that my goal is to find something long-term, but I'm merely taking my time getting there. One worth knowing is one worth taking the time to know.
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A lot can change in a year. Obvious, I know. At this point I think just chatting and meeting with similarly-minded, and maybe the occasional fun, is all I want to juggle.
Commence recalibration. :P
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Almost five months, and this slave of mine is proving herself to be quite attentive. I think about the times when I had opportunity to collar someone, and hesitated. Intuition has paid off, and I'm grateful for it.
As for other "playmates", when someone comes along that's not a flake or cannot accept the whole package, rather than just one of us with the other left sitting on the bench. Again, I'm in no hurry.
You know it's love when you can say "yo, bitch, fix me a turkey pot pie" and they do it, after I throw it at her head, of course.
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Interesting thought that my slave and I discuss and wonder at on occasion: why does it seem that a majority of those who are "kinky" (particularly dominants and couples) just so happen to be well-off? The other day, for example, she was contacted by a couple in Georgia who happen to have their own airplane.
Does financial success equal dominance? I personally don't think so. It can be a side-effect, perhaps, but I don't see them as being mutually inclusive.
To dominate means to earn the respect of others. Any charlatan can show some bling in an attempt to pull a ruse of dominance, but that just tells me that they aren't confident to step out from behind the glitter and gold and stand on their own. And isn't a dominant person a confident person?
I'd rather drive my 18-year old Civic and be confident in my simplicity than drive a Hummer and expect the submissives to fall at my feet.
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I officially own her now. Make no mistake. The first and last to be worthy of wearing my collar.
It's quite nice.
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The thing I question currently is how quickly some submissives are to getting themselves collared, particularly after recently leaving their dominant. Are you really fulfilled once you put that band around your neck? What are you trying to prove to me?
My opinion drops with every superficial act.
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Collar for sale. See my posting in the marketplace forums for details and links. |
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My role is to make executive decisions, so to speak. In
this, the twenty-first century, that concept can be a bit difficult at
times. Perhaps not difficult, but I do believe there is a balance to be
had. An executive of a company (read: a good executive) makes decisions that are for the good of the whole. In my case (or that of any good dominant) I have to make decisions that are for the good of my submissive/slave and for myself.
To
do this, there are a number of points to consider and factor in on the
process. One must be in constant awareness of not only their own
emotions but also that of their submissive/slave. Tricky when emotion
is static, always evolving, shifting. Honesty is important, and not
just in the way that is often advertised in how to make relationships
work. It's not just being honest with the partner, but also being
honest with one's self.
Once that is in the works, trim away
the fat. What is needed, what isn't? Or, what is working, what isn't?
Swallow a little pride, and be realistic. Granted, this "lifestyle" is
full of fantasy, and the pursuit of fulfilling such things, but while
indulging, what's happening at home base? In our growth and exploration
into these matters, one should always make sure they have a solid
foundation, and then maintain it. It's foolish to build a tree house in
the branches of a year-old willow.
Did I mention that one has to be a good multi-tasker?
These
are things on my mind currently, not necessarily the end-all, be-all
Tao of Domination. (Hey, that has a good ring to it...)
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I sit here with a cup of coffee, letting the morning's thoughts filter through the various channels in my brain as they need to before I go about my day.
My page of trust has been refreshed like a web browser recently, which allows for some truly wonderful things. To be able to explore the web of interacting with another person without apprehension or dead linksgives me good things to look forward to. Things I've always wanted to try, and not just formulate in my head (which is not much unlike reading a manual thoroughly but never actualizing the event).
We are not broken, just carrying a burden. Let's yoke them together and make our footsteps a little lighter. |
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Shopping for a collar is not as simple as it may seem, especially for someone with my selectiveness and taste. I've been considering getting two: one for daily wear, and one for special occasions.
All this consideration is definitely worth it. When I don't even have to say anything, it's simply provided for me, that is exemplary, and deserved of something special in return.
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I enjoy having an attentive submissive. It shows me that they are paying attention to what is going on around them, and communication beyond words becomes natural.
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I wonder sometimes what causes others to be afraid to communicate. Swallowing of the ego long enough could prove some amazing results, if one gave it a chance. And I don't mean this just in the typical fashion, i.e. machismo fronting. This just as much applies to those clam up because they are too scared to enunciate what's on their mind, because this is ego at work as well.
I want complete sentences, or at the very least complete phrases. I don't expect much else from others when communicating electronically for the first time.
Other than that, this current lady I have under consideration can hold her own just fine conversationally. For that I am thankful.
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Valentine's Day, a long time since I bothered to care about the holiday. After yesterday, all I will say is this: it's nice to feel appreciated and to have had a lovely girl smile at you. That alone was worth it.
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Life is in transition at the moment. A good transition. This time around I am much less unsure about the future, or at the very least I have a planned trajectory that is thus far working out.
I've had some very nice responses here from various people, and the occasional viewing. I hope to hear more from some of you, and perhaps meet up over good conversation.
BDSM thought for the moment: those who serve seem to seek a place for themselves in this world, but does it stop there?
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I am no longer in charge of behindmirrors.
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Quote of the day:
You can fantasize about being spanked, but it still really hurts.
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What I would like to see in the profile options is a write-in box. A lot of what's there is pretty cliche, and rather typecasting in a roundabout way, at least to me. Another idea would be to have the option of a 'partner' tag, where you can put in who you may be affiliated with. Similar to a 'friends list' you might see on other networking sites, but more restricted to established relationships.
I will say that it has been nice to hear from some of the other people on this site who don't have unhealthy egos. Conversation is always welcome.
The forums... well, I'm still reading/skimming through them, so I can't say anything conclusive yet.
Just seems to be mostly common sense. *shrug*
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My slave received an unsolicited message from a "dom" (I use quotation marks here to imply that this person is not really a Dom, but an overgrown and insecure bully). Her profile states that she us not allowed to reply to any such messages. This "dom" wrote her again with flippant comments about her not replying. I took it upon myself to write to this person. His reply, to quote:
"Your in charge of her and Im in charge of you and will prove it too. I can show you a problem, better watch yourself."
And how, exactly, did he prove it? By blocking me.
It goes without saying that I wasn't impressed. Silly boy.
He who laughs last, laughs on the internet.
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