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I am an untrustworthy cad of the highest order, and my hobbies include eating babies, burning down orphanages and sneaking out in the middle of the night to plant weeds in other people's gardens. However, what with meddling kids and interfering superheroes forever thwarting my plans these days it's not easy plotting dastardly schemes to take over the world. Perhaps the love of a good woman will help me mend my ways and turn over a new leaf - but hey, let's hope it doesn't come to that.
For your part you don't need to be a leggy supermodel or have "big things" in front of you, although a lack of facial hair would be advantageous. In return I promise not to beat you (much) and am prepared to offer all the cream crackers you can eat.
Should you wish to apply for the position of trainee consort, please drop me a PM. I'll return your message as soon as I get back from the canal with this sack full of kittens. What's that you say...? Why, what shocking language! Boo to you too with brass knobs on!
Okay, I'll come clean as you've seen through my supervillain ruse...
I'm a single man who likes to spank a girl. I'm not really into much else so some of the stuff on this site is seriously scary. I'm a member of Mensa and very financially secure. As you can probably tell, I also have a well-developed sense of humour.
I don't seek a slave, but a companion who may be inclined to be submissive, but is certainly no doormat. In fact, I'm quite happy for you to make the first move and contact me. It would certainly cut through some of the nonsense on this site.
If you wish to find out more, get in touch.
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I tire of Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire, and have purchased a static caravan near Skegness. It is October, and we're close to the end of the holiday season, but I look forward to "accidentally" pushing ice creams into the faces of small children come the summer months. Well, at least the small children whose fathers are not bigger than I am. Ah, you can't beat weekends at the seaside plotting evil deeds.
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Single again, and looking for trouble... |
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Sorry, no more messages please. I've been seeing somebody for a few weeks now.
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You rotten swines, you! You beastly scoundrels!
I know I have regular readers of this journal I keep of my evil and deplorable arch-villainy, but not a single one of you made the effort to inform me of my latest grave error. Rotters, the lot of you!
When I borrowed the machine to steal lollipops from toddlers, I was not aware that the schools would be closed during the month of August - I must have been the only one in the country! However, every single one of you kept silent, doubtless smirking at my unfortunate ignorance. What a horrid bunch of do-gooders you all are!
This wondrous machine has unfortunately now been returned to the truly devious Captain Rottensocks, and all I have for my endeavours in the playgrounds for the period of the whole of August is a solitary and rather suspicious-looking fig roll and I don't like the look of it, frankly. It looks as if the machine fished it out of a litter bin when my back was turned just to keep me happy. I have no choice but to keep it until October and feed it to the first trick-or-treater that darkens my portals.
As for the rest of you, I shall take my revenge when I rule the world, just you see if I don't!
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I should point out that I am not alone in my dastardly quest to take over the world, there are other nefarious arch-villains attempting the very same thing, not to mention a surprisingly large number of super-heroes or meddling kids who always seem to thwart our plans.
One of my fiendish friends is Captain Rottensocks, a cad so devious and mean he has invented a machine to steal chocolates from toddlers. The most beastly aspect of all, until now, was that he wouldn't let me borrow the device for my own purposes. Today, he finally relented, and for the price of a crate of pyrotechnic vibrating onions, he has allowed me to take his monstrous contraption on a tour of the local schools for the remainder of this month. Nothing can go wrong this time, I can feel it in my bones. I shall be the terror of the school playgrounds for the rest of August!
What a mug that Captain Rottensocks is!
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As an evil arch-villain intent on taking over the world, my plans have thus far failed to produce satisfactory results. Some might say that my plans are not up to the job, or that my execution is lacking. I prefer to think that I'm just unlucky.
Take the other week, for example. I concocted a dastardly ruse to reduce civilisation itself to anarchy and chaos, from which I alone can deliver the people of this planet. How would I achieve this? Simple: I would stand outside the railings of the local infants' schools at playtime, and shout very rude words at the little blighters. With this filth ringing in their ears, they would take their newly-acquired lexicon back to their parents, and from there chaos would ensue.
The theory was perfect. However, in practice, it didn't quite work out that way. You see, I had the misfortune of misjudging the innocence or otherwise of the local chavs' offspring. When I let rip with my array of naughtiness, I was confronted with a volley of abuse far worse than that which I was employing, a tirade of mucky words so profoundly shocking it might have been conjured up from the bowels of Hades itself.
Consequently, it was I, and not they, who ended up running away in tears with a considerably expanded vocabulary.
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I've changed my profile slightly to reflect my warped sense of humour.
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Would you believe it, a few nights ago I gave my first ever spanking, to a woman who approached me in a vanilla chatroom of all places. It turned out she lived locally and wanted to be spanked, but had never tried it before. So we agreed to meet up that very evening.
At first I put on one of my spanking videos and we watched it together sitting on the bed for a while. After a few minutes we decided it was time for her to be spanked, so she took off her trousers - the naughty girl wasn't wearing any underwear - and positioned her self across my knee. The spanking started gently, with plenty of rubbing between smacks, and I made sure I never hit the same spot twice in succession, moving the slaps around. Gradually, I increased the strength until I had reached a level which was very firm, and gave a satisfying sound as palm connected with pink bottom. About ten or so minutes in, I asked if she was earning her lesson. "No!" came a very defiant reply, and we all know what that means...
The stakes were raised, and the spanking became a hard one. The young lady was beginning to whimper with each hard smack. Twice she moved her hand back to protect her bottom, and both times i moved her hand out of the way and continued with the punishment - though I made sure to concentrate on some of the less painful areas for the next few slaps.
In all it probably lasted something like twenty minutes, but time seemed to fly by and it was all over too quickly. In all honesty I am still in a state of shock that this happened so quickly. Did I dream it? Well, no I didn't. My position meant I had to lean back slightly to administer the spanking, relying on muscles in my legs to remain upright. Hard to explain, but very painful 48 hours later when trying to climb stairs. Remember the old adage "This will hurt me more than you"...?
Whether or not I ever meet this young lady again remains to be seen, but I will certainly never forget her. She has opened the door to what I pray will be the best part of my life, and given me the belief in myself to progress from here. I hope, as this was her first spanking, that I have done the same for her too.
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So here I am, having joined this site 2 days ago with a view to chatting to, and eventually meeting, submissive females who might help me understand - and enjoy - my spanking fetish. My initial excitement at receiving two messages within the first 24 hours was tempered upon discovering they were both essentially "good luck" messages, in fact one was from a female dominant informing me of an internet spanking forum. I am grateful for any response though, and it does at least show that my profile is being read by others. Last night I decided to take the initiative and send messages to 3 or 4 females whose profiles seemed to fit mine. These were not one-liners, each took at least fifteen minutes to write, and 24 hours later I have not yet received a response, not that I expected one. I am going to have to be patient, and may have to wait many months yet, if I find someone at all. Clearly there will be a number of males chasing each female - as in life, we men have to do the chasing. I'm used to rejection, but it doesn't make it any less painfull just because I've experienced it a thousand times before. |
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| Age: 32 |
| Gainesville,
Florida |
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