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The marrying type? Us? *snort* Apparently we are... |
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To
my near and dears:
Please, stop asking if we're back together, if ever
really broke up, or if we're still screwing around.
No offense meant,
but it's none of your business. I appreciate the hugs, the questions,
and the concerns, because it shows you care.
However, we are happy as
we are, and do not require our dearest friends to run what they think
is damage controlling interference.
Happiness is where you find it. I
am happy. Let it be.
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Okay, so it's been awhile since I've updated. This time I have a rather community important subject on my mind.
Over the course of the past year, I've been to several play parties and I've noticed a lack of respect that truly bothers me. When people are having a scene, it is a matter of respect to allow them both their physical space and thereby their mental space to complete the scene.
At most of these parties I have witnessed a few people who, much to the annoyance of those in the scene and those watching from a respectful distance, have interrupted the scene. The bottom/submissive in the scene is not a free-for-all unless otherwise stated. I, for one, find it highly disrespectful and just downright rude, to have a person walk over and just join the scene without permission from both top & bottom--even for a moment to get in one good whack.
As a bottom, I can say for a fact, that it completely pulls me out of subspace when a person, who is not a part of the scene at the start makes his/herself a part of the scene. As a result, I don't get what I need, my top doesn't get what they need, and the whole point of the scene is then moot.
This is more than just a rant on party/scene respect. It's a plea for protocol & to have it followed.
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Over the past few months, Crispy & I have come to the conclusion that we make way better friends than romantic partners.
I like him better as a best buddy than a boyfriend or a play partner. Sure, we'll probably have play dates in the future, but it will take time for our friendship to progress to the level where a mutual play date would not be mutually awkward.
Have since been enjoying the single life. And yet...I find myself falling toward the unexpected once again... |
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I will know more later, but as it stands now...While he is still my very best friend & my Daddie, he is no longer my boyfriend.
Oddly, I think that hurts more than if I had been told I'm not fun to play with... |
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How did I know it was love? When you, Sir, knelt before me in naught but your skin; you looked in my eyes, with tears in yours, and offered me everything you had to give. And all I want is to be yours.
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I don't think I did anything spectacular or praise-worthy. Daddie, on the other hand, feels as though I should be rewarded.
It seems he is not used to being genuinely served and taken care of. I don't think I will ever forget the shocked/confused/happy look on his face when I told him to just take a hot shower and relax while I took care of everything else.
I've never heard the words "thank you" so often in one evening. I'm not sure how I should feel about that.
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Here's a toast to the unexpected. I guess it really is where you find it...even if it's the last place you thought you'd ever look.
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Finally got my tattoo. I'm very happy with it. The whole tattoo process made me giggle...I was told to hold still several times because it was tickling so much and making me giggle! |
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I would like my work schedule to mesh better with my personal life. While I realize this is a somewhat lofty dream, that doesn't necessarily mean I can't hope for it. Or work toward that end.
Meeting new friends and gaining a deeper understanding and relationship with the friends I have.
Awesome. |
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Last night, I had a blast. At least, I'm fairly certain...it seems really far away and a long ago, but I know it was just last night...
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I do enjoy being single, but there are some things about being in a relationship that I miss.
Falling asleep in their arms, and waking up there too. That one is at the top of my list.
Inside jokes that only the two of you get and any reference makes you both giggle.
Hm...guess I could get that outside of a relationship too, but I don't want to give my "friends" the wrong idea about our boundaries. |
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looking to bleed some audio blood! Oh, for a friday night off!! |
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Some vanilla guys DO wrinkle the sheets!
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Screw looking. I'm happy being single and I'm enjoying the hell out of it...to an almost irresponsible level. If a friendship develops into more, so be it.
Moreover, if I were tied down, I would not have gotten to experience the things I have in these past months.
Hehe! Tied down! That was so unintentional...
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Why are all the QUALITY doms taken?!
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10 miles this morning. I'm jazzed and pumped and ready for more! Woo!
Now, where's my jock rock tape? It's pretty difficult to hit that cycling high without the tunes...
P.S. that look of disappointment for the day I forgot still hits home, Tiger...so I guess I should thank you for the 10 mile a day attitude.
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SINS. I am a fan.
Favorite quotes of that night:
"Mr. Blindfold forgot his blindfolds?!"
"Well, I AM a smart ass...which will cause my ass to smart!"
Favorite toys of the night:
LOL! Like I'm gonna post that on an open blog!
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"Ow," my ass!! OR "Ow! My ASS!"
It doesn't matter, both are fairly accurate.
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Tonight, I play.
Hehehehe!
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Somewhat patiently waiting for the spring thaw so I can go fishing.
Yahara River, here I come...fat channel cats, look out...I have a canoe and I ain't afraid to use it!
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What is it about shoveling snow that is just so...relaxing? It's almost fun.
At first, I thought it was being able to see the effect of my work immediately, but now, I think it's the work itself.
Manual labor, how I love thee!!
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The munch was lovely.
I made new friends and will be getting my tattoo soon. It's going to be a bear paw print on my right shoulder blade, probably no bigger than three inches across (most likely smaller).
Given the weather conditions, my journey into switchiness had to be postponed. :(
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So much on the horizon. It's a good thing the horizon is so vast by nature and it's good that I have fairly decent peripheral vision otherwise I would not be able to take it all in.
I know I identify as a sub, but I've finally decided to take the opportunity presented to explore my switchy side. A friend of mine is a bondage boy, completely non sexual variety. He's given me an opportunity to tie him up...the thought made me a little tingly. I'm excited. I will be writing a future entry on how that goes. Perhaps things will change and I will evolve into a switch, perhaps they will not.
Guidance is, as always, appreciated. ^_^
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Why are men so overly sensitive?
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Spent the evening with someone new. Had a good time and got to watch some fairly decent porn. ^_^
Stopped for gas and was followed through some windy back roads all the way across town. That was a tad scary, but it turned out all right.
Over the past few days, I've been in pain. I'm currently cutting a set of wisdom teeth. One broke the skin just this morning and now my tongue won't stay away from that spot! I may be a bit of a masochist, but I don't like dental pain...it's not a happy pain.
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And I had hopes of painting the town red tonight!
However, my friends are hell bent on making this evening socially awkward...
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It's amazing how few emails a girl gets when she puts on her profile that she's found what she wants and is no longer looking.
Honestly, quite amazing.
Edit: I was being sarcastic for those who didn't grasp it. I'm still getting unsolicited emails I don't want from people I don't want to hook up with. Seriously, friends only, please.
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And I...I've lost it all.
One man I don't want for any length of time, but think he'd make a good friend.
The better man, that I want to serve, whom I have angered beyond redemption because I sought momentary gratification with the former.
*sigh*
If I could slip through the floorboards right now...I would.
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He's not a second choice, nor is he a second thought. He is a wonderful man that makes me tingly and I've fully succeeded in pushing him so far away that I can barely see him.
I hate pms and I hate feeling guilty when I'm being honest.
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I suppose I will make the sensible choice, as opposed to right choice.
My Grandfather once told me, "A woman, any woman, when presented with a choice between security and her own happiness, will always make the sensible choice. She will choose security and leave her happiness by the wayside. You're clearly the favorite of my three granddaughters and as a grandfather, I hope that you always give me a reason to worry about you--don't make the sensible choices. Be happy."
I'm sorry, Granddaddy, but a woman must always make the sensible choice. Happiness is secondary.
I hate realizations that make me feel guilty. I realized a used a good man to make me feel better about myself just as he used me. Now, I feel guilty because I can't undo that.
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Where's my Virgil when I need him most? I need to talk to you to get a perspective better than my own because you know that I can't trust myself when my heart is involved.
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So there's this guy. (Ain't that how it always goes?) I feel as though I'm betraying him, though I know I am not. I cannot stop thinking about him, even though I know to do such would be the proper course of action.
Every time I go out with another man, even if it's innocently watching a movie (like last night), I find myself wrapped up in thoughts of 'him'. What is wrong with me? I've had superficial relationships based solely on sex before,and they've never affected me like this. What makes this one so friggen different?
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All is better now. The worry I had all last week is now gone, so my dears, you may stop worrying.
I would very much like to learn how to weld and I wish it weren't so darned cold out. I'm getting antsy enough to bust out the welder and scrap metal and just start putzing around with it until I get it. Sure trial and error may not be the best way, but hey, it's better than no way! ^_^
Smiles to all.
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I may be a bit quiet for a while, so...uhm...yeah. I won't be replying to messages from new people, just the friends I already have--essentially, those I trust enough to help me out with what's going on in my life right now.
To you, dear special one: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. I know you told me not to be a stranger, but...well...I'm sorry I complicated your life. No, I still don't know, but when I do, you will too.
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The munch was fantastic. I had a wonderful time and met a ton of fun people that I plan on hanging out with again in January.
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Will be going to my first munch on thursday with a couple friends (okay, acquaintances). It's not something I would typically consider, but since I've never been, I figured, "Hey, why not?" I mean, if I don't like it, I can leave and not come back. If I do, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
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