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Rama seeks Sita...
Ok that's probably more than a little vague so I had 2 glasses of wine to encourage rambling and here goes nothing...
What am I looking for... simple... I am looking for 1+1=eleventybillion... is that so much to ask for?
About 2 1/2 years ago I heard something that stopped me in my tracks. If you want to attract a certain quality of person into your life wouldn't it make sense to be the sort of person you feel that person should meet. Since then I have changed some of my habits and some simple things that has massively improved my mental outlook. I doubt I am totally there but I am definitely closer to being the sort of person I am capable of being.
Yes, I love food, like really truly. I source most of what I eat and am a far better cook now than I ever was when I cooked 75+ hours a week. Simpler for sure but cleaner, more true to everything that is in the dish and made with a lot of love. Talk to me about how the subtle notes of something or other brought together the flavors of this and that and you are very much talking dirty to me. Cooking together is a form of intimacy.
It should also be added that sexually I am extremely deviant and dominant and I am comfortable with the idea of being a guy. Aggressive, control freak, yup that's me. I enjoy the nuance of the dance between masculine and feminine. Anais Nin once said “I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”... Christ on a cracker she would have been great in bed.
Somehow I have become a runner, gym goer as well but generally early before the meatheads get there. I tend to run trails over pavement, did the Death Valley half marathon up Titus Canyon this past December, heading back next year to do the full. This summer is a Double Dipsea.
I am the sum of many moving parts, there are lifestyles that are part of my life (be it D/s, hippie, hedonist, foodie, on and on) but I have too many facets to fit into any particular box. I have a pretty good life now and I am ready for the missing piece to the grand puzzle.
What can I promise? I can promise a million mistakes made with the best of intentions, pleasure in moments shared and memories made, sexual indulgence that may well be illegal in a few states and a ton of really really bad jokes.
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